The next day, around lunchtime, Edward came home quickly with Den; the anxiety made him act clumsily. He was nervous and his heart was about to explode, as well as his head.
... If only he had told her what he really felt... If only he had the courage.
Determined to face her after everything that happened, he walked faster. But he had to calm down before talking to her. Sweating on his face, he walked straight into the house and let the doggie off her leash. He knew he looked like a wreck, not only because he had arrived breathless but also because of the TWO sleepless nights.
At that moment, Winry passed in front of his eyes and he witnessed the cold distance in her stare; it seemed like she wanted to avoid him. The awkward part, when you live together like brother and sister, is to not be able to have individual living spaces when there are squabbles.
He could feel his heart in his ears, as always, looking at her. Winry looked wonderful. How could she be so beautiful even when she was angry was a mystery. Hot as hell, she was quiet as if she hadn't worked the whole morning trying to shake off the bad mood. But he could see by her face she's somewhat troubled: her lips are tightly set. Those eyes were a little darker and definitely more sad.
Winry headed for the doorway to leave the house and walked just a few inches away from him without raising her head. Edward was still flushed, sweaty and out of control.
As soon as she opened the door, he stood behind her and closed it before losing his nerves. "Forgive me," he said, trying to speak in a lower voice.
Her gaze fell on Ed's hand, leaning against the door before her eyes.
"I didn't mean to scare you and... I'm sorry I could't control myself... It's the situation we're in, I can't seem to stop invading your personal space," Ed really had a sad look. "Yet when we were kids we spent all our time together."
Winry's face turned pale.
But he continued, "Apparently we're not anymore." That sentence wasn't said with sadness; it was more like an awareness.
She looked worried about where that was going. But he didn't mean to say that it was impossible for them to live together as they used to.
Edward pulled his hand away from the door.
Winry stood still, her back was still to Ed.
"After we argued yesterday... I've thought a lot, about you, about everything" he went on.
She turned to Ed and lifted her chin. Her blue eyes searched for his. "Ed, I..."
It was harder for him to talk but he decided not to stop "Please, let me get this out".
The girl sighed.
"You're the... you're one of the people I care about the most" he forced himself to hold her gaze. "You ... you literally got me on my feet again, cried for me, had faith in me when I couldn't see it in myself anymore, you've always been there for me," he lowered his head and looked at her hands.
She moved her hands, as if she was trying to reach him somehow, but stopped them in mid-air and put her fingers to her lips.
"It's thanks to you that Alphonse and I can at least feel happy, at home." Now he knew it, it was what he always wanted. "However, I shouldn't expect anything from you."
"No Ed, that's not what I meant-"
"I've been a real jerk and I apologize for everything I've done and said these past two days" he interrupted her. "But there's one thing I don't want to apologize for" he looked at her lips, his tone was serious, "My desire to protect you."
Winry was deeply moved but he didn't stop.
"And that's what I did because that's all I wanted to do, I don't want to tell you what that bastard said because it would be useless and furthermore it disgusts me, but you can trust me. Please. I won't let anyone hurt you, Al or Granny, even if it means pissing you off."
Then, after a little pause, he said: "That's what I meant when I told you that you couldn't easily get rid of me."
Ed thought Winry must have felt the way he did when she said it first, as children. Perhaps, before making all that fuss, he even wished, in his heart, to admit he was awfully jealous. He wanted to tell her not to date anyone else because she belonged to him alone. Edward was a little embarrassed about it, in retrospect. Deep inside, Winry was just a friend, right? His purpose was to keep that loser away from her and nothing more.
In that instant, his tone became more gentle. Tenderness? No, not exactly.
"I can't do otherwise, Winry, not in any way" his tone was kind, sincere, he wanted to take her hands in his but he didn't want to risk hurting her again with his arrogance; moreover, to tell the truth, he would have never had the guts.
Winry opened her lips but no sound came out as she looked up to his eyes.
"Win..." he went on, not receiving an answer, "If you trust me, please…" he took a step closer to her.
She waited.
"Please don't date him."
The girl sighed. "Don't worry. I won't. "
Finally, a smile on Ed's face.
And she, in turn, couldn't help but smile.
"Well," he commented, "otherwise I would have come with you to kick his ass!" He tried to be ironic and cover his embarrassment, making her smile again.
Alphonse walked by them, smiling and raising his thumb in approval over Winry's shoulder so she couldn't see it. Then, he kind of nodded.
Edward suddenly became nervous and swallowed loudly. He took a deep breath and stammered, "Um... er... Win..."
"Yup?"
"Since... well, we were talking about it and... I would hate it if you were sorry about that and... I wanted... yeah, let's say that we could still... you know... if that's okay with you..."
"What's up, Ed? Something wrong?" the girl became worried.
"Saturday!" he exclaimed "We are... we could go out anyway if you like... we..."
Winry's cheeks turned red and a shy smile appeared on her face.
"Me, you and Al," Ed corrected himself, instantly afraid of getting rejected.
The blonde girl's smile turned into a bewildered grimace.
"NO!" Alphonse blurted out, "I definitely can't this Saturday."
Winry jumped in surprise, not imagining that Al was right behind her, but when she turned around, the boy had already vanished to give Edward no cause to be such a chicken.
"Oh." Damn it, Alphonse. "Well, then I suppose... maybe another time, uh?" He backed off, scratching the back of his head.
"IT'S OK IF IT'S YOU AND ME!" Winry said in a slightly high-pitched voice. "I... I'd be really happy," she was too embarrassed to look him in the eye.
Edward stood there, listening to her, and for a moment he forgot to answer. Then he recovered, "R-Really?" In a moment he blushed violently, "I mean... OK! SURE! Ok!" He tried in every possible way to look resolute, "You can decide where you'd like to go then! Ah-Ah!" His nervous laugh, however, was kind of unsettling.
"Mh!" approved Winry, with her cheeks still red.
Then she turned and started to leave, trying to look cool and casual, but suddenly stopped. "Ed!"
The boy, still with his head in the clouds, woke up hearing her call his name, "…Yes?"
Winry closed that infinitesimal distance that separated them and found herself a breath away from him, "Thank you."
It was a blink of an eye, so unexpected that Ed almost faltered.
"Thank you for protecting me."
She whispered in the sweetest tone ever heard on planet Earth.
Edward held his breath.
For a few seconds he stood there gawping. Then he smiled sweetly. How could he tell her that she really didn't need to thank him? How could he let her know that protecting her was the most natural thing in the world for him and that she didn't even need to ask? But above all, how could he let her know that she was always in his mind?
He gently placed a hand on her head and held it to his cheek. There was no need to say anything.
Winry raised her head from his racing heart and looked him in the eyes again, even if that means she had to break up that sweet contact.
Ed saw Winry's clear eyes. All coldness had vanished, her cheeks were red and her eyelashes slightly wet.
I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell you what I feel – he thought – but I'll do everything to make you happy and smiling as you are right now. Forever.