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Epilogue
He couldn't believe he was here again. It was all so familiar, but all so different. Good memories and bad ones too. The noises, the smells, the differing emotions. He saw and felt it all. Sections collecting together, greeting comrades, whilst saying good bye to their loved ones, preparing for deployment yet again. Preparing to leave behind all that was familiar and dear to them, to move into the unknown.
He stood straight. The Major mode in him coming out. The perfect soldier once again. Emotions trying to be held very firmly in check for those around him and the loved ones that were there to say goodbye. They looked to him to lead.
"It will be ok." She whispered moving fractionally closer to him. Her presence here was making this all so much more bearable, but then her presence always did. "He'll be fine."
He turned to look at his beautiful wife, knowing this was affecting her as much as him. Their six month year old snuggled peacefully in her arms. Contentment in everything about her. Their beautiful gentle little Martha, happy in the protection of her very loving mother.
She was a peaceful baby so unlike her arrival into the world. That had been filled with urgency and numerous difficulties. Several fraught and unbearable hours of worry. Resulting in Molly having an emergency Caesarean, and Martha being born flat and silent. Anxious minutes passed before she let her presence known, a piercing but beautiful scream, and allowed her parents to rejoice. She came into this word with so much fuss, activity, but now lived her little life quietly amongst them. Their second daughter, so very different from their first, was safely in their world, a little sister to Lizzy and another step sister for Sam.
Lizzy, who was destruction on legs, thankfully slept in her stroller, finally, having spent the past hour or so demonstrating, much to her mother's shame, just how good she had gotten at walking and then begging for love and cuddles from anyone who was in a uniform thinking they were all her Daddy. Acting as though she didn't get any love at home anymore now that Martha had arrived.
Molly couldn't deny Lizzy was a good big sister to Martha when it suited. Which might not have been as often as Molly would have liked. Sometimes the green eyed monster, a trait Molly blamed definitely on Charles' genes, came out and she wasn't so nice at all. Molly just took it all in her stride. Growing up with siblings she knew it wasn't real, that Lizzy loved her little sister really, but Charles found it hard. As an only child his childhood was quiet and had no squabbling in it, and definitely no nipping of a younger sibling, as Lizzy was now prone to do... but only when she thought no one was looking!
Despite all the chaos, the noise, the mess Charles loved it all. He loved every wonderful day he had been given to share with these three unique amazing women in his life. Always aware that this was his second chance at making Molly happy, as happy as he could. Something he'd promised to once before, and he'd intended to keep.
"Yes I know. You're right... but I guess." He looked down at his feet slightly ashamed of expressing his emotions in such a hardened environment. Lowering his voice. "He's still my baby I guess."
She saw his eyes glass over, and despite the baby in her arms, despite the uniform he wore she reached up onto her tip toes and pecked his cheek.
"I know. Mine too. Kind of." She grinned as he forgot everything, appearances be dammed, and pulled her to him. Rewarding her love for his son with a resounding kiss to her head.
She looked up at her husband, so strict, so formal in his role, but really the best of men, and still in her eyes the best looking man so far in the room. His hair greyer than it had been, the slight peppered flecks now becoming definite streaks. The few worry lines of days gone by now starting to look more pronounce and may even be described, on bad days, as wrinkles. All changed from the young man she had fallen in love with at that very airport nearly twenty years ago, but she still love him just as much as she always had done, maybe even more now if that was possible.
He'd once promised to adore her forever, and despite everything, despite the shit hand they had been thrown, the separation, the betrayal, the illness, he always had and still did. There was nothing he wouldn't do for her, and nothing she wouldn't do for him. Molly had even, to please him, become something of a romantic, which did please Charles especially when she willing accepted his gestures without comment or derision. They were once again each other's world, only made all the more better because of the two beautiful girls they had in it.
Then they saw him stride confidently towards them, or so it seemed. Molly recognised the slight twitch to his fixed jaw, a sign of nerves. The exact trait his father still had. Both appearing firm, confident on the outside for all to see, apart from those who really loved them.
Charles looked at Molly and gave her a knowing look. He'd seen it too. He made no comment.
Sam came smartly up to his father and saluted. Ever the young s
Second Lieutenant that he was.
Charles acknowledge him with a curt 'James', but there was a smile to his eyes and a definite look of pride to his whole countenance.
Sam bent to kiss Molly, careful avoiding waking the two girls.
"Thanks for coming. Can't be easy with these two rug rats." He teased.
"Wouldn't miss it." Molly laughed at him and hit his arm, but he skilful dodge out of the way. She couldn't sometimes believe just how much like his father he had become. Close to the age when she had first met Charles, she saw so much of him in the young man who stood before her. So young and so green, but she tried not to dwell on that. She pushed her fears aside for all involved.
"Everything ok?" Charles asked his voice perhaps a little bit lower, his face showing just a little bit of concern. This was Sam's first deployment, helping to be in charge of a section that looked as young as the under fives had looked all those many years ago to Charles.
Charles knew how his son would be feeling. So many emotions, all truly unable to be expressed. He had to remain firm and very neutral, a source of calmness for his men. He could not feed their fears, anxieties, by displaying any of his own.
"Yeah. All good thank you. Just a few more pointers then the section photos." He trailed off searching the room. Missing the look that passed between Molly and Charles.
Their first ever encounter had been during the section's team photo. Something she had always kept, and no matter where she had gone in her life, how much she had wanted to forget, it had always gone with her. She thought she was silly, but was surprised when Charles after all those years apart admitted to her that very photograph had never left his wallet. It was a reminder of all that was good in his life. A reminder of how it started. A section photograph that had Molly in.
"He said he'd be here." Sam continued, checking his watch. Molly saw the pain in his face as he feared he wouldn't get to say goodbye.
Then suddenly he was there. Andy, Sam's long term boyfriend. Someone they hadn't know about until the last six months or so, despite them being together for over two years. But since then they had got to know him very well.
Sam had been totally frightened to tell his father that he was gay. Something though, as it turned out, and in a way no one expected, it didn't bother him at all. Like Molly all Charles wanted was for Sam to be happy.
Andy rushed through the crowds, easy to spot tall like Sam, immaculate in his business suit, looking around for Sam. As he saw him, caught his eye, a smile beamed across his face. One of pure love. The same smile Charles still gave Molly and it still caused her knees to go weak.
So mindful, rightly or wrongly, of where they were, they didn't rush into each other arm. Declare their undying love, they merely just hugged like old friends do. No one was offended, no biases identified, no protocols broken.
"You made it." Sam gleaned as Andy shook Charles' hand, before reaching over to peck Molly. She loved all this male attention, happy to be the centre of three very good looking men's worlds. Wondering how she'd become so lucky, her life was perfect.
They all chatted as old friends and new friends do. All at ease with each other. From the day Sam had come, shy apologetic scared to speak to them about his sexuality, Charles had made it clear it just didn't matter. He listened to his son though as he explained he had tried, experimented even, but he just knew where his heart lay. That was just the way he was. Shock initially from them both , but no remorse, no questioning why, no outrage. Just love. Charles and Molly just accepted Sam for who he was and the life choices that he had. They told him they loved him for who he was, proud of him no matter who he'd fallen in love with. He still was and always would be their Sam. And soon in their lives it became their Sam and his Andy that they learned to love. The funny happy soul who adored Sam in every way possible, and who was soon to become one of their family on his return from deployment.
Too soon, as it always happens in these situations, the time came to say the final goodbyes. Sam and Andy had done their intimate ones privately the night before, today was just an addition to their separation. Manly hugs therefore from father and lover, pathetic clingy ones from Molly. She cried, just like she used to cry when she saw Charles off, but tried to be brave. Sam was brave however for them all and as they watched him walk way the three of them moved closer to each other to fill the void he'd already left in their lives. Turning once he was touched by the perfect tableaux of the people he loved the most in the world, united and together to support each from here on in. He felt buoyed, ready to face the next six months and all it would to throw at him.
They stayed, although they never saw him again until his plane took off. Andy leaving quickly, saying he'd had to get back to work, but they both saw how his eyes had glazed over. Charles placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, squeezing, inviting him over for supper at the weekend. Andy accepted and then was gone, both of them knew he'd need time, time alone to mourn Sam's departure. Then he'd hope, and watch, and wait until his return. They could only be there for him support him as their families had once supported them.
"Can't believe they're asleep. Together at the same time." Charles laughed as he dumped himself down in the chair.
Molly already lounging on the settee, relishing her free time, patted the space next to her. "Come here." She pleaded.
He moved to her instantly, pulling her into him. Quietly they sat, then feeling his sleeve become damp he looked down. She was crying.
"Hey, hey. None of that. He will be fine you know. I was, you were. Besides it's not as if it's anywhere dangerous." He squeezed her into him. He knew this would happen she'd almost held it together so well at Brize. Bright and sunny on the way home, but he knew his Molly and her love for Sam. He knew she'd break eventually.
"I know but he's so young. I don't know. Wasn't that long ago that we used to have water fights and birthday parties with pass the parcel for him. Now look at him, all grown up, and about to be married." At her final words she sobbed.
It was a while before she became calmer. He said nothing, he just loved her tightly, his eyes once or twice misting over too, remembering the boy he used to be, and not the man he was. The fun they all used to have together, and despite the gap, those missing years Molly had been good for Sam, and the bond they had would always be special.
"Just promise me we'll never let the girls grow up...or leave home... or get boyfriends." She raised her head off his chest and looked pleasingly into his eyes. "Promise?"
"Oh I don't know if I can do that Dawes." He teased. Then seeing her eyes gloss over again he tipped her head and kissed her nose. "Ok then I'll promise."
"Good." She frowned back. "Any way even if you hadn't I know what I could do."
"What's that." He asked shifting them both so they lay side by side next to each other on the couch.
"I'll just keep having your babies. One a year." She announced.
He stared at her, so unsure.
"You want another kid?" There was nothing more than he would want, he'd want a dozen more with Molly as each and every one they had was a perfect part of her and their love.
"Well yes, just not now, not for a while. I'd prefer not to be a whale at Sam's wedding. Rebecca wouldn't be able to stop herself if I was. Clapping her hands in glee and all that." She giggled as he brushed his nose down into her neck.
"There is that." He moaned back his voice barely audible as he continued to smatter her neck with tiny kisses.
"But maybe after that. Just one more?" She asked. She knew he'd not say no, not just cause he loved the practicing it would mean they had to do in order to make a new baby, but because he really really did love kids and was a great Dad to them all.
"Ok Dawes. One more." And he set to work kissing her body, desire flaring in him.
Her neck not enough flesh for him to kiss. He heard her moan and felt her body move into his, a green light to his groin.
"God I bloody love you Molly." He growled.
"Ditto."
Was all she managed before she was claimed by him and they became lost in the passion they had for each other. The passion and love they had for each other now and always would have.
