Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers
Warnings: Canon-Divergence Post-CA:CW, Not A Fix It, Rogues Return, Sad Tony.
Cross-posted on my AO3 with a collage.
He screamed.
He screamed and he screamed.
Glass scattered on the ground from where he had thrown things against the wall and through his windows. Work equipment tossed carelessly across the room. Pieces of the Iron Man suits littered the floor. Some had dents in from where he had taken a crowbar to it.
He screamed in anger and grief as he fell to the glassy floor, hands bleeding as he clenched his hands into fists whilst holding shards of glass.
They may as well have told him "Congratulations, you've survived the war, now live with the trauma" and by trauma, they mean people, and by people, well the Rogues have been pardoned and now Tony has to live with them. He was barely handling life itself but now he had to put up with the people that broke him. They'd broken him more than he'd ever been broken. He was crushed and shattered.
—LINE BREAK—
He flinched as he entered the Compounds workshop. The screams ricocheted off of the walls and Rhodey stumbled backwards (not because of his legs, in fact, he'd gotten used to the braces now) as he saw his best friend sitting there, glass and blood spattered across his hands as the man broke down. Hastily, he made his way over, wrapping an arm around the sobbing man and gently leading him out and to the communal living room.
"Oh god, Tones." He whispered as the screaming finally stopped, sitting his friend down. Rhodey began to remove the glass and clean his cuts with the first, first aid kit he'd found, "You're not alone Tones. You have no obligation to them. I'll be with you. Strange will be with you because, despite everything, the man clearly cares for you. Pepper is always there for you. Peter, god Tones that kid loves you, he'll always be there for you. I wouldn't be surprised if he went from an adorable kitten to a protective mama bear!" Rhodey was glad that Tony snorted in amusement,
"If anyone's the mama bear, it's you." He mumbled as Rhodey sat beside him on the couch and hugged him to his chest, taking on the protective instincts he'd found when he'd met fifteen-year-old Tony Stark at MIT.
"Talk to me Tones."
"I'm fine."
"Cut the bullshit. I just found you screaming your head off surrounded by thrown and broken objects." He felt the man begin to tremble and held him tighter, "I need you to talk to me. Please." It might've been the pleading in his voice, but the minute Tony opened his mouth, everything he had been holding in came pouring out.
"I'm a horrible person, Rhodey." Tony shook his head when Rhodey went to speak, "Everything I do… breaks things. And the more I try to fix them, the more I make it worse." He laughed bitterly as he wiped roughly at his eyes, "You know, I tell myself that I…that I help more people than I hurt. And I tell myself that I'm...I'm doing a good job. That I've helped. That I've made a difference. I became someone I didn't want to be and I tried to fix that by…by playing superheroes." Tony buried his face further into Rhodey's chest, his best and oldest friend held his tighter. Sobs clawed out of Tony's throat.
"But, now? Now, I really don't see the reason for trying. For breathing. I'm just done. All I get is pain and suffering. I failed. I can't fix the things I've done. I can only make them worse." Another wreaked wail took hold of his voice, "Rhodey…God only knows why you've stuck behind this long. I take things. I break things. And I piss people off. Fuck. Look at you. I broke you."
"No you didn't, Tony. No, you didn't." Rhodey whispered, clutching Tony like he was his lifeline.
"Rhodey….I'm tired. I'm so so tired. I can't…I can't do this. I can't breathe. I've lost myself. I don't…I can't handle my life. I just…I just want to…to stop. God. I'm just done. I'm done. I've had enough. Why do I even try anymore? I thought nothing could get worse…but it did. I just don't see a reason for trying."
"I've got you. I've got you, Tony. Dear God, I've got you." Rhodey muttered as tears trailed down his cheeks, "I'm not letting you go. Never."
"I wish I had died in that cave," Tony whispered, his eyes glassy with tears and from being deep down in a pit of personal hell. Rhodey could say nothing, only held him tighter as his own crying became audible.
"Listen to me. Listen to me, Tones and listen well." His response was a sniffle and a wriggle as Tony's hand came up to clutch part of Rhodey's t-shirt,
"You are such a good person. You are kind, you are generous. You are loyal, you are loving. You care so much and that's your problem. You care too much and people you care for take advantage of your kind heart. You didn't break anything. You didn't break me. You are a superhero. You're my favourite superhero. You were the best thing that happened to the Avengers; they were the worst thing to happen to you." Rhodey took a deep breath, one of his hands gently rubbed Tony's back,
"You are exhausted and in dire need of sleep and help. You can breathe. You can breathe, you just don't think you can. You can handle your life, but when you struggle, I will always, always, be here for you and don't think I'm the only one. You have Pepper, Happy and Peter by your side too. Don't forget Dum-E, U and Butterfingers, FRIDAY as well. JARVIS, may he rest in peace, will always be in your heart too, Tony. Oh, and Strange and his Cloak too -you know objects tend to love you a lot." Rhodey gently lifted Tony's chin so they were eye to eye, "If you're lost. We will help you find your way. We'll help you. We always will."
"Rhodey-"
"No. Tony, no. You're not done. Not yet. You are no coward. You stay strong through everything. You always have and always will. Back when you were a scrawny little -well you're still small- thing at MIT, you always stood up for yourself when the older and bigger people were being dicks. You never backed down. Don't think I'm going to let you back down because of them."
"I…but…Rhodey…I…" Tony inhaled deeply, "Thank you, Rhodey." His voice cracked, "Thank you." More tears filled his cinnamon eyes,
"Chin up, princess. Your crown's falling." Tony jumped, almost falling off the couch, Rhodey only just stopped him. The two turned and saw Pepper standing with Peter and Happy, tears were more or less in their eyes and down their cheeks. They'd been listening.
"Bitch. I am a queen." He tried to sound strong and prideful, but his voice was hoarse and his nose was stuffy. The three smiled slightly before coming over to hug Tony (or in Peter's case flopping on top of his father figure, though considering the billionaire was sitting on Rhodey, the teenager made sure to check it was alright).
They spent the afternoon, the evening and the night cuddled on the couch watching everyone's go to movies. Disney ones, of course.
But whilst the four spent as much free time pampering their tortured genius, they couldn't change the fact that the Rogues were returning. They could, however, help Tony as much as possible. They gave him their time, their support and their love. Pepper even managed to convince Tony to see a therapist, who Tony liked enough to talk to and therefore, the man was getting some much-needed help.
—LINE BREAK—
The day of their return was noticeable. The streets of New York were terrifyingly quiet and dull, most of the public had been against the Rogues returns. In fact, there had been riots. Over at the Compound, Tony stood strong in his finest suit with a pair of sunglasses on. Peter was by his side in his Spider-Man attire, he had a hand on Tony's back inflicting an amused smile from the others; Pepper stood to Tony's left, a clipboard held against her chest from where she had her arms crossed, whilst Happy stood beside her, expressionless and sturdy. Dr Strange loitered beside Happy, though his Cloak kept trying to fly to Tony's side much to everyone's amusement. Rhodey was on the other side of Peter, he had reached around the boy to follow Peter's lead of placing a hand on Tony's back.
The Quinjet landed. King T'Challa was the first to exit, he nodded apologetically at them -or rather at Tony as the two had been pen pals of sorts and so T'Challa (along with Princess Shuri who Tony had totally not tried to kidnap) knew about some of the struggles. Almost dramatically, the Rogues began to exit their transportation. Tony stiffened. Thankfully Pepper was the only one who needed to speak as she informed them of the changes, the rules and all that.
"Hey, Tony." Steve murmured with a small smile, but Tony ignored him, turning to Pepper and whispering if he was needed. She shook her head to say no. Her hand gently touching his forearm before he turned and began to walk away, ignoring the shouts from the Rogues.
He stopped. Someone had shouted something about being Avengers and Tony was reminded of Roger's letter. He didn't turn his body but he let his head tilt to the side, his eyes flicking back to the group.
"What was it you said? 'The Avengers are yours. Maybe more so than mine.' You're delusional if that's what you think." He turned, taking his sunglasses off and staring at the group that wasn't as far away as Tony had originally thought, "Look around you, Rogers. All of them are by your side. All the original ones along with the new ones. Barring Thor and Bruce, who are god knows where. None of you have ever liked me -especially you, Rogers, so don't pretend. You are a selfish fool who doesn't think of the consequences. Nor the damage you've caused. Because you don't care." He threw his glasses back on, head held high as he walked into the building.
—LINE BREAK—
"I suggest you all stay away from Tony. He's made good progress and if we see him slip…" Pepper stared them all in the eyes, her own seemed to glow despite the removal of Extremis, "We will personally see to your downfall." Never let it be forgotten that Virginia 'Pepper' Potts was one terrifying woman.
—LINE BREAK—
"Congratulations, you've survived the war. Now fight through the trauma with us by your side. You will be victorious once again, my love. You are not alone." Pepper whispered into his ear later that night as she spooned Tony, who was unsurprisingly the smaller spoon out of the two.
Here's my tumblr if you're interested, it also has the story collages: anxious- - -soul (no spaces between the dashes but sucks and wouldn't allow the dashes without spaces)
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