Hopeful Idiot

Chapter 15: Beds, Bats, and Pups

So sorry! Wrong version posted previously… Ooopsie…. Here's the real one.

There was a dull thud.

"Damnit!" Hope's loud curse echoed through the apartment.

Clark, having taken his girlfriend's command of 'learn my noises' to heart, paused in his fixing dinner, but didn't move from his position. He just waited. Either his Hope would come in and explain (amidst expletives) just what had annoyed her, or she wouldn't.

"Idiot!"

Or perhaps she would do something new…

"Clark!" her tone had a strange tone.

Considering that was a second call for him—using his name of all things?!—in less than one second, Clark was in the doorway in the next instant, and immediately saw the problem. He sped to her side and lifted the box spring mattress that had apparently slipped from her grip and landed on her foot. "Where do you want it?" he asked kindly.

"By the door," she hissed between clenched teeth. "No, the front door," she corrected.

"Why were you doing this barefoot?" Why was she doing it at all was a better question. Or why hadn't she just asked, and then let him do the heavy lifting?

"Because I'm an idiot," she growled. She was now sitting on the floor, her injured foot in her hands, glaring down at it as if her dropping the mattress had been its fault.

Clark chuckled, "You're not an idiot." And she wasn't. But he found it amusing and endearing at where her intelligence ended and she did something either immature or impulsive. Though sometimes it was rather nerve-wracking. Like when she decided to go to a convenience store at 11 at night because she'd let her cabinets deplete of food because she hated shopping.

Needless to say, in their two months of officially dating, Clark had made it one of his priorities to never let her cabinets completely empty of food.

"So, are we moving the bed to the living room?" he asked gently.

"No, we're getting a bigger bed," she replied sullenly, still massaging her foot.

He blinked. "A bigger bed?"

Hope looked up at him from her floor position, then grinned slightly at his stunned expression. "Yes, Idiot. Two people need at least a queen-size bed. Don't you think?"

Clark's face slowly spread with a large grin at the implications. "Sounds like a wonderful idea."

"I do have them now and then."

"Though—"

"Now what?"

"—why didn't you just ask me to move the bed? Let me do the heavy lifting?" Heavy lifting for her, which was less than a feather to him. And if the bed fell, it wouldn't injure him in the slightest.

"Because it was supposed to be a surprise, Idiot." She sighed, "So much for that idea."

He lifted her to her feet and proceeded to kiss her thoroughly. When they finally came back up for some air, he whispered into her hair, "It's a wonderful surprise."

She giggled breathlessly, "It should be delivered in about a half hour."

He gave a playful growl, "Not enough time."

"Well, we'll need to christen the new bed properly after its set up."

"I love how you think."

As if in answer to their desire, there was a knock on the front door. Clark groaned in exasperation, but obediently stepped away. "You deal with dinner, I'll deal with the bed." It wasn't as if he'd be able to think of much of anything else until after his inner flame was fed.

"Sounds good," she nodded, "they are also supposed to take away the old bed." As she walked away, he noted with a hidden smirk that she didn't limp.

When the old bed was removed, the new bed set up and dressed, Clark came back to the kitchen to find that the veggies had been cut and the stew was all set to simmer for awhile. He grinned triumphantly and went to find his mate—girlfriend! He meant girlfriend.

Hope was on her computer, which was not unusual. She was also frowning. Also not unusual. She heard him approach and glanced to the side once before gesturing. "My old almost-boss sent me an email telling me to stay out of Gotham."

"Your almost-boss?" Clark asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, he wanted me to work for him fulltime, but after a thorough background search, I decided that I didn't share his…goals, so I declined. We've kept vaguely in touch. I do the odd job for him here and there. It pays well. He's not a bad guy in general. I mean, he IS an asshole, but he's just…" she trailed off, not able to fully verbalize how she thought of the man. "His heart's in the right place. I can understand his logic. It's just…" she trailed off again, still searching for how to explain.

Clark frowned, "Is he dangerous?"

Hope gave a single sharp laugh, "Hell yes!" Then she sobered, "But not to me. He's dangerous in the same way that a lawyer is dangerous." She thought for a second, "No, more like how the governor is dangerous."

Clark nodded slowly, "Not him specifically, but the trouble he can bring with him, or that he is in charge of dangerous people."

"Yes," she nodded again. "He just sees the world extremely black-and-white, while I think its more of thousands of shades of grays. Irony is that we do get along rather well." She grinned, "Debating with him is insanely fun."

"Who is he?" Anyone who got to her this much, a male someone, Clark wanted to know about him.

"Ra's al Ghul," she pointed to the screen where the signature was with a reprimanding raised eyebrow; her tone telling him to pay more attention.

"Never heard of him."

"Not surprised. The guy likes to stick to the shadows. Pulling strings from behind the curtain, that sort of thing."

"And he's telling you to stay out of Gotham."

Hope frowned again unhappily, "Yeah. That's not like him. We meet for lunch sometimes when he's in town. Like I said, talking with him is all sorts of fun. But he's never sent me something like this before. And he's not the kind of guy who says unimportant things. He also doesn't lie. He obfuscates, evades, and redirects, but he doesn't outright lie."

Clark thought about what she said for long moments. Despite his nickname, Clark wasn't an idiot. "The biggest thing that's changed in Gotham lately is Batman. Maybe this Ra's doesn't like him."

Hope blinked, then slowly nodded her agreement. "Yeah, that makes sense. Ra's is more of a win-the-war type of guy than Batman's win-the-fight. He's kind like Ender Wiggin that way."

Clark blinked, not sure how to take that comment. Though he did decide that whoever this Ra's was, if/when Clark ever met him, he would be very wary. He didn't like how Hope spoke of him. At the very least, she wasn't insulting Ra's' intelligence. Did she like him? A sharp stab of jealousy slammed through his chest. So much so that he actually staggered back a single step.

Thankfully, Hope didn't notice his backstep as unusual, and just kept going. "Oh, and apparently Mr. White wants me to go with Lois for this next story of hers. Something about making sure the woman has a signal in butt-fuck nowhere of desert." Hope sighed, "I'm travelling waaay more than I thought I would for an I.T. job."

"Not that much," he countered.

"Twice in two months? That's a lot!" He grinned at her. It certainly wasn't as much as he did. Which she knew. She glared at him, "Oooh, hush." He laughed softly, leaning down to kiss her again. Just as his lips were about to brush hers, a soft chime announced another email. "Damnit, why can't they leave us alone for an hour?" Another kiss. "Or two?" Kiss. "Or three…" The timer dinged from the kitchen. "Damnit! It's a conspiracy," she grumbled.

He laughed and turned, "I'll handle the stew, you handle the email."

"Fine," she grumbled. He laughed again.

However, when she saw the email that was waiting for her, she blinked. "Seriously? This has got to be a conspiracy."

"What is it?" he called from the kitchen.

"Batman replied."

"Oh," a pause, "well, what'd he say?"

She shrugged and clicked the email. Then began to curse, her fingers flying on the keys. "What the hell?!" Seems that Bruce Wayne was a computer geek. He'd sent her a virus with the intention of tracking her computer, hacking it, and finding out who she was. "Oh, no, you don't. Not on my system, you dumbass piece of shit," she growled.

"Anything I can do?" Clark asked quietly by her shoulder.

"Shut up and get the food."

He nodded, knowing she didn't mean the words how they sounded. She got this way sometimes with a big problem. Her tone was curt, even hurtful, but she didn't mean it. She just needed space to do what she needed to do. The woman certainly wasn't perfect…but she just might be perfect for him. Her flaws made her that much more in his eyes. No perfect person was able to be a partner, because no one could live up to that standard. Hope had plenty of flaws. Fortunately for him, they seemed to balance his own.

"You want to play?" She hissed with a sharklike smile. "Let's play." Her fingers were going so fast they almost seemed to blur.

(Clark raised an eyebrow at that, wondering if that was still inside human limitations. That serum he'd given her almost two months ago coming back to mind. Jor-El had said it would make her more durable, but hadn't said anything on specifics… Maybe he should ask…?)

He couldn't quite keep up with the number of windows she had pulled up, was discarding, then pulling new ones. It was like a loop. And none of them had pictures, it was all text in various colors and fonts. "Okay, new plan," Hope sang-growled. Her fingers flew. Her grin came back. "That's right. Chase me." In less than two seconds, she leaned back with a crow of triumph. "Have fun getting out of the wormhole. Dumbass." She stretched slightly, flexing her hands a couple times, before she bent forward again. "Okay, what were you looking for…? Other than the obvious…"

Clark brought her a bowl of the stew. "How's it going?"

"I win. Dumbass is apparently not as dumb as he first appeared. He's seriously paranoid! I mean, wow-levels of paranoia. I think he was trying to figure out how I was, where I was, and what I knew about him. As if I kept records of that on my system. Dumbass." She wrote a quick email and sent it off.

Better luck next time. Like I would keep such sensitive information on a computer? Who would I tell anyway?

Oh, and I also thought of libraries. Several studies show that those in higher education were about 85% likely to have an early access to reading and the love of reading. Not a guarantee of course, but its something to consider.

You're Still a Dumbass,
Have you Learned Something Yet?

"Dinner?" she asked, hopeful.

Clark laughed, nodded, and held out the bowl. "I've got to go patrol. I'll be back later…with your surprise present."

Hope blinked at him, then groaned. "You're so mean!"

He laughed, knowing now that she didn't mean it. It was only that delay of gratification wasn't her strongest point. Patience wasn't a virtue she had yet to obtain.

+++++HOPEFUL+IDIOT+++++

Hope blinked as Superman gently deposited a red-wrapped in her arms. She let out a 'umph!' as the bundle was heavier than expected. The bundle was very lumpy…and moving. "Claaark…" she elongated his name in worry.

He laughed softly, reaching out to pull a corner of blanket down. Revealing a white-fur covered puppy.

Hope blinked. The puppy looked at her for long seconds, then leaned up and carefully, hesitantly, licked her on her nose. Hope's heart melted and she cuddled the puppy closer to her chest. "I love him. He's perfect. He?" She questioned at her boyfriend.

"Yes, he's male. I've spent most of the last week or so training him. He should be a good companion for you. He's smarter than Earth dogs too."

"How much smarter?" she asked warily, though she also took that time to wiggle her nose with the puppy's. A look up at Clark, "Smartest breed is supposedly poodles, which has been estimated to be equivalent to an average 2-year-old human child."

Clark blinked. How did she know things like that? When did she learn things like that? "Umm…not sure. Enough?" Enough so that the dog should be able to understand situations and protect her adequately when Clark couldn't be around.

"Guess we'll find out, huh?" she grinned, cuddling the pup. The puppy not only didn't mind, but wiggled until it could reach her face, licking her much more enthusiastically. "Does he have a name?"

"I've been calling him Krypto." Clark shrugged apologetically at her look. "I'm not good at naming things."

"He'll probably need something different, Clark. We can't be calling him Krypto in front of other people. Way too close to Krypton, Kryptonite, Kryptonian. He needs a new name."

"Right," he blushed, not having thought of the similarities. Or rather, the implications of saying it in public. He'd noticed the similarities and that was why he picked the name. Hindsight was 20/20. "Any come to mind?"

"I'll think about it. See what personality traits come up." She turned to go to the bedroom, then paused and looked back at Clark with a raised eyebrow. "Out of mild curiosity, did you check that this building allowed pets before you thought to give me one?"

Looong pause. "Ummm…"

"Oh, Idiot…" she somehow managed to laugh and sigh at once. "Well, if we have to move, you get to help with the major lifting. And not just with my stuff, but Lois' too. She can't be a decoy if we don't live close."

He blinked. Blinked again. Then went for the sliding door, intent on flying out and having a chat with the building superintendent.

"Idiot?" he froze, looking back at her. She was grinning slightly, but with a raised eyebrow and a pointing finger. "Just use the phone. Call him and ask." She turned back. "Your daddy is an idiot, yes he is," she spoke in baby-talk to the cuddled puppy.

Clark couldn't help but smile at the image.

"And don't forget to come in here so we can break in the new bed!" she called again.

"Right." He didn't even get to take two steps before she shouted again.

"Phonecall first!"

"Damnit," he muttered under his breath, picking up the phone obediently.

+++++HOPEFUL+IDIOT+++++

Bruce Wayne looked over his computers in shock. He had one of the best, if not THE best, setups of any private owner. Ever. Eight large screens in the back. Six medium screens in front. Heavy duty processor with over 8 terabytes of data storage in six servers. The best firewall protection money could buy. Always kept up to date. He had kept himself up to date as well, on the latest software and coding. It made research a lot easier when one could simply hack into the database of whatever he was looking into for the necessary information.

And now, every screen but his main was down. Black. Nada. His main screen held a message:

SYSTEM FAILURE

OPERATOR ERROR

PASSWORD TO REINITIALIZE?

Then, under that, was a very strange email. Or it looked like an email. It also looked as if it had been hastily attached to the error message.

"Tea, Master Bruce?" Alfred offered politely. "Or perhaps a scotch?"

Bruce shook his head, gesturing to the screen. He knew his own expression was somewhere between impressed, horrified, angry, and woeful admiration. "Alfred, what…?" his tone was pleading. He didn't know what to do.

However, Alfred had already expressed his opinion of this 'Hoping You Learn Something' and apparently quite liked the sender. Who was a hacker. A very, very, very GOOD hacker. The butler looked at the message, the klaxon still sounding, though he was unperturbed. Gently, Alfred Pennyworth set his tray of drinks down, and leaned over the keyboard.

Five keystrokes.

The screens blinked and Bruce heard the whirl of the computers coming back online. "What? Alfred, what'd—" he sputtered.

Alfred, the quintessential English butler, who had seen three generations of Wayne's raised and cared for, gave his charge a look. "Sorry."

"What?"

"That was the password, Master Bruce. Sorry. Though I do suppose that any form of apology would have sufficed, given that you would not have been able to know anything more specific."

Long pause. "How did you know?"

The corner of Alfred's eye twitched. As someone who had literally grown up with the man, Bruce knew that his butler was holding himself back from some very choice words. "Women often simply want an acknowledgement of fault and a promise not to repeat the transgression."

"Women? It's a woman?"

Alfred sighed heavily. "Seems I've been remiss in your education. I do apologize Master Bruce. I'll endeavor to rectify such immediately. To begin, we must move away from your usual—"

+++++HOPEFUL+IDIOT+++++

Some lines taken from "Criminal Minds", season 3, episode 9. Lots of Hope's hacking skills come straight from Penelope. ^_^

Hope is NOT a Mary-Sue! She makes lots of mistakes and has big personality flaws. Hope this chapter cleared that up a bit.

(Really) Posted: 6.15.2020 Wordcount: ~2.9k

Please tell me what you think, but please don't be too harsh. I know it's not perfect. And let me know what you were thinking for the new name of Krypto the Superdog!