I didn't go out in a blaze of glory, saving people from a burning building or sacrificing myself for the sake of others. I didn't suffer from a tragic predicament where I was beaten to death or starved in the dark. No, I died from what some might call a coward's death and others might call unfortunate timing. The truck was driving down the road, I happened to be in the way, and once I realized a 10-ton death machine was speeding my way, I decided to not move. Simple as that. I died.

Now, the whole process of dying differs from person to person, and people usually don't remember their death, but unfortunately for me, I can recall the impact and crunch of my bones quite clearly. Take my advice and do your best to not recall how you died, even if it means losing all your memories. I'm one of the unlucky souls that can recall everything- and when I say everything, I mean it. I didn't even know about half of the embarrassing things I did when I was a child until I was six-feet under.

Even worse, I wasn't even zapped into a world that was limited in its sense of crazy (I'm pointing at you, Shikako, Kei, Riskua, and Natsumi, just to name a few). Choose your deity or none at all, but something decided to punish me for being a lazy ass and not moving out of the stupid road.

I couldn't live in a world of ninja and tailed beasts.

I couldn't live in a world of guilds and magic.

I couldn't even live in a world where everyone had kick-ass swords or superpowers!

No, I was stuck with the craziest one of all. Freaking One Piece.

Now, before you start stoning me to another death, don't be mistaken- I love One Piece. The plot makes me giddy and the connections make me (internally) squeal, but I would have appreciated it if I didn't have to suffer through any my current predicament.

Two of the ugliest people I've ever had the displeasure of seeing were hovering over me. They were odd-looking at best, with the strange hairstyles (how much hair gel did they use to make hair stick up like that?) and form-fitting clothes that did nothing but show off how obese they were. The stupid hair was a giveaway that they were Celestial Dragons, but I didn't recognize them from canon.

Only then did I realize that either they were unreasonably large or I was extremely small.

OH.

OH HELL NO.

I was not reborn as their child. I was not going to grow up into some ugly-ass child that rode on her high horse, demanding this and that like a brat. I refuse!

...

Wait a sec, am I still a girl?