Amazing story idea by Hetwaszoietsals. Hope you enjoy it!
It's not something either she or Chloe ever imagined could happen when they decided to have a baby.
They don't catch the signs right away.
Olivia has always been a quiet child. Full of life, but quiet.
She doesn't babble or gurgle like most babies do, but their pediatrician doesn't seem too worried about it upon Olivia's one-month check-up.
She can fall asleep anywhere. She and Chloe always joke that their daughter could sleep through a tornado.
It's on a Sunday morning, after the small family ate breakfast, that they both notice something isn't quite right.
Well, Chloe does.
While washing the dishes, Beca accidentally knocks over a glass from the counter with her elbow and it crashes to the floor, startling both she and Chloe as it shatters in dozens of pieces across the tile.
"Shit, I'm sorry," Beca mutters, bending down to pick up the larger pieces with her hands.
"Beca."
Beca sighs, "I know, I know."
"Beca!"
Beca frowns at her wife's tone of voice. She looks up and sees Chloe staring at their daughter, an unreadable expression etched in her features. "What is it?"
"She didn't startle," Chloe's voice sounds strangled, as if lost somewhere within her. Beca's gaze snaps to their daughter who is playing with a book in her highchair, happily kicking her small legs. "She didn't even look up."
Pieces of glass forgotten, Beca rises to her feet and approaches her family. "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure," Chloe bites out coldly, flashing Beca an icy glare as she gets to her feet. Olivia's big blue eyes stare up at them in curiosity. "She didn't hear it."
Chloe steps around the glass, taking a few strides so that she now stands about ten feet behind Olivia, while Beca watches on in confusion. "What are you do—"
She falls silent when Chloe claps her hands together loudly, three times in a row. Beca glances back to her daughter, who is contently flipping through the pages of her book, seemingly oblivious to the distress growing around her.
"Oh my God," Chloe's broken whisper echoes through the room and sets Beca into motion. She strides to Chloe and cups her jaw, tilting her face so her eyes meet hers.
"Chlo, baby, look at me," Beca requests through a heavy swallow. "Let's not – let's not jump to conclusions. She passed the newborn hearing test, remember? We can get an appointment and start from there."
Chloe's bottom lip starts to tremble, worried eyes jumping from Beca to their daughter. "Bec, what if..."
"I don't know," Beca whispers, wrapping Chloe up in a tight embrace. The pain seeping in her chest at the mere thought of it is unbearable. "I don't know."
/
Olivia is found eighty percent deaf in the right ear and completely deaf in her left.
The specialist they take her to doesn't understand how she passed the newborn test. Olivia's auditory nerve is too damaged, and that rules out the Cochlear implant.
She can only hear very low sounds, and will most likely be plunged in a world of silence before she's even three years old.
Past the terrible life-changing news, what Beca fears the most on the drive home from the doctor's office unfolds before her eyes.
Chloe starts to blame herself.
She doesn't really say anything for the rest of the day, which they spend playing with Olivia in an attempt to distract themselves. But Beca knows Chloe like the back of her hand; she sees the cogwheels gearing in her head and can tell in which direction her thoughts are stirring.
After putting Olivia down for the night, Beca walks to the master bedroom, faltering in the doorway when she catches Chloe maniacally pacing from left to right across the carpet floor as she bites on her nails.
"Hey," Beca calls out softly, at to not frighten her. Setting the baby-phone down on the bedside table, she stops directly in Chloe's path to stop her. She grips her forearms, her firm hold contrasting her gentle, pleading eyes. "Chloe."
"Did I do too much?" Chloe rushes out, tears toppling over the rim of her fleeting eyes and landing down her cheeks. The sob escaping her mouth reverberates inside Beca's chest, knocking back and forth between her ribs and destroying everything in its path. "Did I exercise too much or- or did I go on my maternity leave too late in the pregnancy or–"
"Chloe, baby," Beca begs, feeling whatever emotional strength she has left start to keel. "No, it's not your fault. You did everything by the book. You ate healthy, you didn't drink any alcohol, you listened to your body when it demanded a break, you did nothing wrong."
Letting go of Chloe's arms, her hands hike up to hold Chloe's face tenderly. Beca rests her forehead against Chloe's and inhales sharply, attempting to battle against the great amount of pain paralyzing her insides.
"These things– these things happen without there being a reason and it – it happened to our daughter and I'm so, so mad at the world, because she doesn't deserve this, we don't deserve this," the sob Beca has been stomping down finally frees itself from her throat. She powers through despite the break in her voice. "But this isn't on you, or on me. Okay? Please tell me you believe that, Chlo."
She can't bear the thought of Chloe blaming herself; they are both suffering enough as it is.
Eventually, Chloe nods faintly, bottom lip quivering as she cups Beca's neck to pull her impossibly closer.
"Bec," Chloe croaks out after a minute of silent, mingled crying. The sorrow reflecting in Chloe's eyes nearly has Beca lose her footing. She grasps Chloe harder, hanging onto her for dear life, because she knows what Chloe is thinking. She hasn't been able to escape from that paralyzing thought either.
"She'll never get to hear music."
Beca swallows the acid taste coating her tongue. It slowly burns her insides as it goes down her throat and pools into her stomach.
She knows. That's one of the first thing she thought about when the doctor broke the news.
How Olivia will never get to discover the joy of music, or learn to play an instrument, or sing.
How she will never get to hear the million of little reasons why Beca loves her.
/
Ring finger and middle finger down.
I love you.
It's the first sign Beca and Chloe learn.
After much research and decisions, they decide sign language is the best option they have to be able to communicate with their daughter, and for Olivia to be able to speak with the rest of the world.
"Good evening. How was your day?"
Beca pauses, step faltering in the doorway and eyes stuck on Chloe's hands, now still and by her sides after signing the question flawlessly.
When Beca insisted they should start taking sign language classes, jokingly stating that the only sign she knew was not appropriate to teach to a child, she didn't expect Chloe to catch on so quickly.
It's been two months, and Chloe is already nailing it, while Beca struggles.
"It... was... tired?" Beca grimaces and huffs. "How is it so easy for you?" she asks, walking to the couch after shrugging off her jacket. "I'm dying here, and you're already fluent!"
Chloe laughs, picking their daughter up from the play mat and padding to Beca. "I'm not fluent. I'm just... good with languages, I guess."
"Oh, quit bragging, Beale," Beca rolls her eyes but nonetheless accepts the hello kiss Chloe plants on her lips. Straightening, Beca gasps with a beaming expression when Olivia extends her arms towards her. "How is my favorite girl in the whole wide world?!"
She plucks Olivia from Chloe's arms, and lies a kiss upon her head as she sets her down on her lap. Charlie, their golden retriever, comes to say hello, too, and Olivia shrieks when he licks her hand.
"Dog?" Beca signs, watching her daughter expectantly as she points at Charlie. "Who's that?"
Ever since starting to learn ASL, Beca and Chloe have tried to encourage their daughter to mimic their signs as much as possible.
It took a little while, but Olivia eventually picked it up.
Now eight months old, she knows how to make about a dozen of signs and associate them with objects.
She'll make her hand into a C-shape and tip it towards her mouth when she wants her sippy cup, or place both hands behind her head to ask for her blinkie, a bunny that Aubrey got her when she was born.
Olivia snaps her fingers, which is the closest she's ever gotten to sign the word dog.
"Good job, Livvy!" Grinning, Chloe signs the words as she kneels in front of them.
"So smart," Beca praises, pressing her lips to Olivia's head as she gazes at her wife. "She's going to conquer the world, huh?"
Chloe bites her lip and nods. "Pretty sure she is."
Associating signs with concepts, however, is a bit more complicated for Olivia.
She can't understand the I love you sign, yet, so each night before bedtime, Beca and Chloe both sign it, then kiss her forehead.
Forehead kisses is the ultimate thing that calms the infant when she's upset. Their sign language tutor told them since Olivia draws comfort from those, she associates it to a good thing.
"We'll be okay, right?" Chloe's whisper cuts through the silence as they lie in bed later that night. Beca twists her head, finding her wife's glistening eyes in the darkness. "Tell me our baby will have a happy life, Bec."
Chloe strives during the day, but it seems as though her anxiety surges out from under the bed at night, in the form of a monster coming to sit on her shoulder.
Beca stirs on her side and tucks one hand under her cheek while the other one finds Chloe's and laces their fingers.
"Of course she will," she replies quietly but confidently. "She has you for a mom."
Chloe's grateful smile is ephemeral, quickly buried under another wave of doubt and anguish.
"What if – what if she's not accepted by other kids, what if she's made fun of?"
"Chlo," Beca murmurs patiently. "We'll cross that bridge when we get there, alright? Let's focus on the good things for now, okay? Livvy is making amazing progress, more than we could ever hope for."
"You're right," Chloe breathes out. She lifts their joined hands and brushes her lips across Beca's palm. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry," Beca whispers back. She kisses Chloe and smiles softly. "We'll be okay, I promise."
The bottled-up tension leaves Chloe's body, who eventually returns Beca's smile.
"Okay."
/
Their usually quiet daughter is not so quiet once she starts teething. She wakes up wailing two or three times a night and it takes half-an-hour to an hour of rocking to get her back to sleep.
"She fell asleep?" Chloe asks from the doorway of Beca's home studio, hope coloring her timid tone.
Beca turns in her chair, one arm wrapped around Olivia as the infant sleeps soundly, curled up in her lap. She settled down in the soundproof room forty minutes ago so Chloe could rest a little bit without being disrupted by Olivia's cries.
"Yeah, I didn't know what to do so I started to fiddle with the piano and she stopped crying the second I started singing,"
Smiling, Chloe steps into the room and crouches down in front of them, running her fingers through their daughter's light auburn curls. Beca grins at her wife, tears steadily clouding her vision.
"It's the vibrations in my chest, I guess," she shrugs, meeting Chloe's equally watery orbs. "She might not hear music but she feels it. Must run in her blood."
Beca reaches out to wipe a few tears that have fallen down Chloe's face, thumb stroking her cheekbone lovingly.
"I love that," Chloe croaks out, leaning into Beca's touch. "I love you."
And even though Olivia is asleep, Chloe holds up her hand, middle and ring finger down, and Beca replies just the same way.
For the first time in six months, the looming black cloud over their head is pushed away by timid sunshine.
For the first time in six months, it feels as though they might be okay.
/
"The cow jumping over the moon," Beca watches with a fond smile as Olivia's eyes flit from the images on the open book, to Chloe's hands.
All three of them are sitting on the floor in Olivia's room, going about their daily routine of reading a bedtime story and sign it at the same time before Olivia goes to sleep.
Beca and Chloe usually switch from night to night, because signing can be exhausting, especially when all three of them are such novices.
"And there were three little bears sitting on chairs," Chloe pauses and glances at Beca with a furrowed brow. "What's the sign for bear, again?"
"Um," Beca purses her lips, trying to wrack her brain for any scrap of memory. They learned farm animals the other day, that she remembers. She makes her hands into claws and imitates a poor roar. "Something like this?"
"Since when do bears roar?" Chloe asks through a giggle. "That's a tiger. Have you at all been listening in class?"
"Hey," Beca bumps her shoulder against her wife's in weak reprimand. "You can't remember either so, hush."
Meanwhile, Olivia looks back and forth between her mothers from her spot on Beca's lap, as though wondering why the story has abruptly stopped. Instead of standing up to get her phone from downstairs and look it up, Beca decides to test something out.
She points the picture of the three bears out to Olivia and sure enough, after a few seconds spent thinking, the toddler shows them how it's supposed to be. She makes a cross with her arms over her chest and does a claw mention twice with her hands.
Chloe gasps and Beca chuckles, both from wonder.
"Did our daughter just outsmart us?"
Chloe's smile lights up the whole room and it tugs at Beca's heartstrings in a beautiful way, "I guess so."
Beca bends down to catch her daughter's gaze, her dark hair tickling Olivia's face and making her giggle as she tries to latch onto it. "Did you just outsmart us, baby girl!?"
Surely Olivia can't understand, but they quickly found out that she compensates her lack of hearing with an incredible ability to read body language.
She grins up at her mother in response, shrieking when Beca hoists her up above her head and back down, blowing raspberries in her neck.
Laughter fresh on her tongue, Olivia signs 'more' over and over again and Beca indulges her, because she has rarely witnessed their usually quiet and reserved daughter in such an ecstatic state.
They end up a breathless pile a minute later, Beca on her back while Olivia lies against her chest. Chloe watches on fondly, and Beca notices how her eyes are twinkling with happy tears.
"Mommy and Mama are so proud of you," Beca signs as Olivia lies in bed moments later, her moms sitting on each side of her. Yet again, it's unlikely the two-year-old understands the full sentence, but she mirrors her mothers' beaming expressions.
They kiss her forehead in turn, and then Olivia does a sign that stops them both in their tracks; she holds up her hand to her ear, middle finger and ring finger down.
It's the first time she initiates it without copying her mothers, as though she finally understands what it means.
Beca and Chloe melt into happy blubbering messes.
/
Most days, it feels as though they are on top of the world. Olivia is responsive, and learning sign-language is a fun, albeit uncommon, family activity that they take pleasure in.
Other days, Olivia throws tantrums like any toddler, and it's in those moments that her lack of hearing makes it more difficult to handle than with any other normal child.
The first time a big crisis happens, Beca is alone with Olivia for the weekend while Chloe is away on a spa trip with Aubrey. Chloe was wary about going; after finding out about Olivia's condition, she decided to quit her job as veterinarian in order to invest her time in their daughter's education and self-development.
She has barely left Olivia's side in the last three years, and it took much convincing for Chloe to give in and leave her for two whole days.
Olivia refuses to take a nap that afternoon, and as Beca feared, the toddler gets cranky by five o'clock.
Beca is trying to get her to sign the sentence 'Give me the book please', but Olivia gets frustrated after ten minutes and knocks the book out of Beca's hands. She rips her hearing aids from her ears, throwing them on the carpet as well.
"Livvy," Beca sighs, picking them up and signing patiently. "You can't take those out. They help, remember?"
She's not sure Olivia understands any of it. She isn't sure her sign-language is correct.
She's suddenly unsure about everything.
She wishes Chloe was here to be her rock, like she has for the last two years and a half.
Olivia starts to whine and splays out her fingers, bumping her thumb against her chin repeatedly. It's the sign associated with Chloe. When she wants Beca, she'll tap that thumb over her forehead.
But right now, she wants Chloe, but Chloe isn't here and Beca feels helpless as her daughter's distress intensifies.
"Mommy isn't here," she signs, frustrated tears filling her eyes to the rim. Olivia's whines turn into piercing cries, and Beca's heart snaps into two. "Only Mama."
There's an horrifying feeling grasping her insides in a nauseating grip. The niggling voice that tells Beca this isn't what she expected when she learned she was going to be a mother.
That this isn't what she wanted.
She can't really grasp how she and Chloe, two people who fell in love with each other through music, had a child who will never get to hear it.
The second her brain acknowledges that voice, Beca is drowned under a wave of guilt that pulls her underwater, preventing her from breathing properly.
She loves her daughter more than anything in the world and will do everything in her power to make sure Olivia is happy.
Yet, there's this longing in her heart when she thinks about how Chloe will never get to belt out songs with Olivia on family road-trips, or how she'll never get to teach Olivia how to use a soundboard.
Beca doesn't even try to hold back the tears as they topple down her cheeks, and sweeps her daughter in a strong embrace, as though to mend the damages caused by her subconscious.
As though to make up for ever thinking her daughter isn't the best thing that ever happened to her.
Because she is.
"I'm sorry," she croaks out against her daughter's head as she holds her close, peppering her velvety hair with kisses. A sob rips itself from her throat as she rocks Olivia back and forth. "I'm so sorry, Livvy. I love you so much."
And then, the most magical thing happens. Olivia pulls away, all teary-eyed, to look at her mother. She reaches up to pat Beca's cheek gently, eyebrows knitting together, as if wondering why she's crying, too.
A fond smile illuminates Beca's tear-streaked features, and her breath hitches when Olivia taps her pointer and ring fingers over Beca's lips, and then waves them away as if to imitate a bird flying.
It's the sign for sing. Beca knows that and wonders if Chloe was the one to teach it to Olivia during her one-to-one sessions with the three-year-old when Beca isn't here.
"You want me to sing?" Beca signs to make sure she understood correctly. Olivia settles her head down on Beca's chest in response.
So Beca sits down in the rocking chair next to the couch and starts to sing softly. As lyrics pour out from her heart, she feels Olivia's small body slump against hers, her hand curling into the lapel of Beca's shirt while the other one hikes up to her own mouth to suck on her thumb.
Olivia falls asleep quickly, but Beca keeps singing, hoping that somehow, her daughter's dreams are filled with music.
/
Olivia is incredibly smart.
Beca and Chloe catch on to that pretty quickly when she starts making more progress than they do during their bi-weekly session with their ASL tutor.
"Beca," Chloe hisses, from the doorway of the living-room, as though not to break their daughter's focus. "Come here."
It's silly and unnecessary, but it makes Beca smile. Sometimes they forget about Olivia's lack of hearing, because it doesn't feel as much of a mountain to climb now that they've learned the ropes.
Beca hums and turns off the sink, drying her hands on a dishtowel as she comes to a stop by her wife's side. She follows Chloe's line of sight, gaze falling on their daughter, who is sat on the carpet in front of the TV, unblinking eyes glued to the screen.
The Smurfs are on, the closed subtitles going by at the bottom of the images.
Chloe leaves Beca's side to crouch down in front of her daughter, tapping her shoulder to get her attention. She starts signing, talking at the same time.
"Do you understand what's going on, Livvy?"
The four-year-old nods confidently, red curls bouncing up and down with the motion of her head.
'They lost baby smurf,' Olivia signs easily. 'Brainy said it's Clumsy's fault but Papa said it's nobody's.'
She spells out B-R-A-I-N-Y and C-L-U-M-S-Y because she doesn't know what those names mean, and goes back to watching the TV, missing the shocked look Chloe sends Beca over her shoulder.
Once she snaps out of her stunned daze, Beca joins her small family on the carpet and they end up watching three more episodes of The Smurfs, not caring that it gets way past Olivia's bed time.
Because the sounds of laughter rumbling out from her daughter's chest over the silly actions unfolding on the screen is probably the best sound Beca has ever heard in her life.
Better than any melody or hooks or bridge.
Better than the first time she listened to the final version of her album.
Better than any music; no matter how amazing and powerful it might be.
It will never have the ability to soothe her soul in the same way Olivia's happiness does.
/
Olivia likes to hang out with Beca in her studio.
She'll spend hours watching Beca fiddle with the soundboard and click away on her computer, mesmerized by the lines going up and down on the software.
She even insisted on being like Beca and requested her own pair of headphones. So one day, they went to the shop and got her her own The Smurfs headphones, that Olivia now wears each time Beca has hers on.
Chloe joked that as long as she doesn't request to have Beca's headphones tattoo, too, they're good.
Upon glancing at Olivia once while listening to a finished mix, Beca catches her bobbing her head up and down to the rhythm as she sits atop the speaker.
It makes her heart jump back and forth between joy and sorrow.
She's happy that, despite her lack of hearing, Olivia shows interest in music. But it makes her terribly sad at the same time when she thinks about what could have been.
That guilt is back, tearing at Beca's insides. As though sensing it, Olivia catches her attention by clapping her hands together, interrupting Beca's train of thoughts.
'Mama, sing a song'
After saving her work, Beca pushes her chair away from the board, rolling closer to Olivia and tapping out a beat over Olivia's thighs with her fingers. She grins when Olivia giggles in delight.
"Okay, which one?"
'The one about me'
Track eight on her new album is the song dedicated to Olivia. Beca tilts her head to the side.
"Again?"
Olivia purses her lips adorably.
'But with the words,'
Beca frowns, not exactly sure what her daughter means by that. "You want me to sign while I sing?"
Olivia nods and smiles. 'So I can sing with you.'
Beca swallows the heavy lump forming in her throat. She never saw things that way, just as she had never considered sign-language as a proper spoken-language before they started learning it and teaching it to Olivia.
She realizes now, how much their daughter has taught them over the years, and how she will keep doing so for many years to come.
She realizes now, how thanks to their daughter, she and Chloe get to see the world through a different lens; a more tolerant and empathetic one.
What could have been doesn't seem so important anymore. What is, is already more than Beca could have ever hoped for.
/
Olivia's first day of school for those with hearing disabilities is a big step for all three of them.
Beca and Chloe drop off their daughter with heavy hearts, kissing her forehead and telling her they love her.
When they come back a few hours later, they are greeted with big hugs around the waist. Olivia climbs into the backseat and lets Beca buckle her up.
"Okay?" Beca signs with a smile, heart dancing in her chest when the five-year-old mirrors it, bringing her thumb and pointer finger together to form an O while her other fingers stay up. "I'm proud of you, baby."
Beca kisses her forehead, then bends down so Olivia can do the same to her.
They can't really talk to her and ask how the day went, because Olivia's sign-language is still fairly limited.
It's frustrating not to be able to know what's going on in her mind after such a challenging day filled with new experiences, but the big grin lighting up Olivia's face for the rest of the ride home tells them more than words ever could.
/
"Are you going to be okay here with aunt Aubrey and aunt Stacie?" Beca observes as Chloe signs to Olivia, kneeling down in front of the six-year-old.
'Yes, Mama,' Olivia replies with a proud grin, clad in her Minions onesie. 'I'm a big girl, now'
"Oh my Gosh," Chloe doesn't sign but her widening eyes and bright smile make Olivia giggle. "You're absolutely right, I'm sorry."
"Chlo, we're going to miss our flight," Beca calls out tentatively, even though part of her wants to stay home and spend time with their daughter instead of having to attend the Grammy's.
But she's nominated for Best Artist and Song of the Year, so she can't really not go.
Leaving their daughter for more than an evening is always difficult, even though Beca knows Olivia's happy to stay at Aubrey and Stacie's.
Chloe glances at her and nods before looking back at Olivia and signing, "Give Mommy a hug?"
Beca smiles fondly as Olivia throws her arms around Chloe's neck and holds on tight. Chloe tells her she loves her when she pulls away and Olivia signs back.
Even though she's already said goodbye to Beca, Olivia runs to her and hugs her around the waist, and Beca feels her heart melt into a puddle into the pit of her stomach as she rests her hands on top of her daughter's head.
'Good luck, Mama,' she says when she backs away, looking up at Beca with sparkling blue eyes. Her red hair is pulled into a messy ponytail, and Beca is slightly dazzled by how much she looks like Chloe right in this moment. 'I hope you win.'
Cupping Olivia's cheek, Beca bends down to kiss her forehead. She touches her own chin and turns her palm towards the ceiling. "Thank you, baby."
Beca loses Best Artist to Sam Smith but wins Song of the Year for Silent Harmonies, a song she dedicated to Olivia.
She goes up the stage, accepts the golden trophy and walks to the microphone.
"Wow, this is... wow," she shakes herself out of her daze. "I'd like to thank my team for making this possible and all the artists that trust me with their talent. I wouldn't be standing there without you guys."
Beca finds Chloe's eyes in the audience, smile widening. "I want to thank my wife, Chloe, for believing in me all these years and standing by my side through good and bad."
Pausing, Beca bends down to set the gramophone on the floor.
"Sorry," she says as she straightens. "I don't want to let go of this baby just yet but my biggest fan is watching from home so I need to do this properly."
Looking right at the camera, Beca takes a shaky breath, feeling the emotions catch up with her and making her hands tremble slightly as she starts signing along with her words.
"And I'd like to thank my daughter, for showing me what strength and determination is all about. For teaching me so many lessons about life, love and acceptance. I love you to the moon and back, Livvy. This one is for you."
She blows a kiss towards the camera and after picking up her very first award, leaves the stage under thundering applause.
When Beca reaches her seat minutes later, Chloe kisses her full on the lips and Beca is glad it's commercial break so she can kiss her wife as ardently as she damn pleases.
"Aubrey just sent a video," Chloe tells her as she pulls away. Beca is still dazzled from the kiss when Chloe thrusts the phone into her hands.
The video shows Olivia sitting on the couch, eyes glued on the TV. Beca hears her own speech being echoed back through the speakers and lets out a watery laugh when Olivia gasps, turning her head to Aubrey with wide eyes before focusing back on the screen, body lit up with excitement.
She knows it's just when she started signing, and can feel her heart expand to reach a size she isn't sure her chest can even accommodate.
"How did we get so lucky?" she whispers when the video ends, not trusting her voice should she speak louder. She twists her head towards Chloe and puffs out a breath.
"I'm still trying to figure that out," Chloe murmurs, reaching out to wipe Beca's tears away. "I love you."
Beca closes her eyes, letting Chloe's words ripple within her and send tingles to every corner of her body.
"I love you, too."
/
Through the years, Olivia picks up on several hobbies.
Reading is the most prominent one. From the day she starts to learn how to read at school, Olivia begs them to stop by the library on the way home. Since then, she gets her hands on anything she can read and spends hours with her nose buried in books.
For her seventh birthday, Beca and Chloe take her to New York to see Aladdin on Broadway. Before the show even starts, Olivia is bubbling with eagerness.
Even if she can't hear the music, Olivia is transfixed by the brights colors and the light effects. She keeps pointing various things out to either Beca or Chloe, to make sure they see it, too.
At some point during the show, she leaves her seat to stand in front of it instead.
Beca and Chloe exchange a questioning look, and then Beca discreetly points to Olivia's tapping foot on the floor, perfectly in sync with the beat of the music.
"Did you like the show?" Beca asks later, when they settle down at a restaurant table after the show.
Olivia nods, and her signs are all bundled together in a rushed reply. Chloe laughs, tapping their daughter's hand to get her to slow down.
"Take your time, baby," she signs and Olivia huffs before resuming.
'I liked the dancing. And the colors. But mostly the dancing.'
Beca glances at Chloe briefly, before smiling at their daughter. "Can you tell us why you spent half the show on your feet?"
Olivia shrugs, 'I wanted to be able to feel the music'
"Did you?" Chloe asks, and Beca hears the emotion in her wife's voice.
Olivia's head bobs up and down excitedly. 'Yes. It was awesome.'
Both her moms smile fondly.
"Hey Bug?" Beca prods after a beat of silence. "Your Mommy and I were wondering, would you like to take dancing lessons?"
Olivia's face falls, then she frowns. She draws a line from her ear to the corner of her mouth with her pointer finger.
'But I'm deaf.'
"So?" Chloe shrugs.
They have decided a long time ago that it would be best not to make a big deal out of Olivia being deaf. The last thing they want her to believe is that her difference prevents her from doing similar things as the kids her age.
Or, contrary wise, that her difference grants her more privileges. They want Olivia to grow up as any other kid would, with the same opportunities.
"You said so yourself, you can feel the music within you, and that's special. You have a gift, Liv, not many people have such a bond with music."
Olivia frowns.
'You guys do,'
"Then I guess it's a family thing. How cool is that?" Beca replies with a wink, the sudden spark in her daughter's eyes making her heart flutter. "What do you say? Want to sign up to a class when we go back home?"
Instead of giving a yes or no answer, Olivia scrambles off her seat and wraps her arms around Beca's waist, holding tight for several seconds before going around the table and going through the same motion with Chloe, who bends down to kiss her hair and whispers,
"Happy birthday, Livvy."
/
Olivia loves to dance.
From her first dance lesson and on, she doesn't stop. Beca sets up large speakers in each corner of the living-room, face down, so that Olivia can feel the vibrations on the floor as she dances barefoot.
Dancing gets as natural as breathing. When Olivia dances, it's seems as though the world as she knows it falls away.
Her worries and troubles seem to vanish, along with Beca and Chloe's, who are over the moon to see their daughter soaring in her newly-found passion.
When she tells them a few months later that she wants to become a professional dancer, Beca smiles.
Her daughter might not be a singer, but she'll become a dancer.
/
"Hey baby," Beca greets her daughter when she and Chloe come to pick her up after one of her dance classes. "Ready to go?"
Olivia nods and immediately runs to them, hugging Beca around the waist and not letting go. Beca can immediately tell something is off; their daughter is rarely so clingy, especially around other kids.
"Hi, you must be Olivia's parents," Another mom approaches them and shakes their hands. Beca remembers seeing her at the end of a class, once. "I just wanted to say that Olivia is very bright for a deaf child. I couldn't believe it when my daughter told me there was a deaf girl in her dance class."
Beca feels Chloe grow as stiff as a board through their hand-lock as she wonders if this person is for real.
Beca feels a tug on her shirt and looks down to find Olivia's pleading eyes.
'Can we go home, please?'
Frowning, Beca is about to nod, when the next thing she hears makes her head snap up so harshly that she feels a sharp pain in the back of her neck.
"Can she read and write, too?"
Mouth slightly agape, Beca squeezes Chloe's hand, silently pleading with her wife not to pounce on the woman.
"Yes," Chloe says through clenched teeth, delivering her coldest glare. "Why wouldn't she?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. I just heard somewhere that deafness can sometimes hinder brain activity development and I was just wondering." The blonde woman waves her hand off with a smile. "Anyway, you two are very brave. It mustn't be easy, raising a deaf child. But Olivia has truly been blessed with you guys as parents."
While Beca knows the other mother is just ignorant and means well, she is dying to tell her to go fuck herself, but there are children present so she bites her tongue hard, to the point where it draws blood.
Forcing a smile, Beca simply replies in all honesty, "Trust us, we're the blessed ones to have her for a daughter."
On the ride home, Olivia is uncharacteristically quiet and goes straight to her room without acknowledging them.
When she doesn't come out by dinner time, she and Chloe walk up the stairs to investigate. Olivia is reading a book on her bed, their dog Charlie cuddled up next to her.
"Livvy," Beca calls out softly as they step into the room. Olivia only looks up when they reach her peripheral. She and Chloe stand by the bed as Chloe gently pries the book away from Olivia, who lets out a resigned sigh. "Want to tell us what's wrong?"
Olivia shuffles to the edge of the bed, Beca and Chloe settling on each side of her.
'It's silly,'
"I'm sure it's not," Chloe says, reaching out to brush Olivia's hair from her face. She retracts her hand to be able to sign. "Did something happen at the birthday party, sweetie?"
'What's a W.E.I.R.D.O?'
Beca and Chloe pause, glancing at each other with wary expressions. Swallowing the lump starting to clog her throat, Beca slides of the bed to kneel in front of Olivia.
"Where did you hear that baby?"
'Someone called me that during break today. It made most of the other kids laugh. The mocking kind of laugh, I could tell. Cali didn't laugh and spelled it out for me, but I don't know what it means.'
Beca grits her teeth, closing her eyes briefly to try and find a proper answer to the heartbreaking question. She knows Chloe feels as lost as she is if the despair in her eyes is any indication.
They must remain silence too long. Olivia hits her thigh with her fist, cheeks flushed and tears filling her eyes in frustration.
"Tell me."
Olivia doesn't use her voice much, out of self-consciousness. Her articulation is lacking, as she only started going to speech therapy a year ago. Since then, Beca has always looked forward to hearing her voice, a pang of pride lighting up her chest whenever Olivia feels confident enough to use it.
Right now, it's not pride or hope that settles within her chest. It's an insufferable ache that tears at her heart.
Before words can even reach Beca's suddenly swollen tongue, Chloe takes over. She calmly explains to their daughter what the term means, and witnessing Olivia's expression steadily crumble makes Beca mad.
Mad at the society, mad at the parents of those kids for letting them believe someone with a disability is the ideal target to pick on.
"You know it's not true, right?" Chloe signs, tilting her head to the side. Olivia shrugs, inhaling sharply as she signs back.
'Maybe it is. It's not the first time.' If Beca thought the pain couldn't get more suffocating, she was wrong. ' They make fun of me all the time and push me around.'
Beca clenches her teeth until they hurt to keep the tears at bay. "Who does, baby?"
'The older kids at dancing school. They call me ugly because of my hearing aids.' Through a sob, Olivia reaches up and rips them from both ears. Her signs become more frantic and unreadable as Beca and Chloe watch on helplessly. 'I don't even know why I keep wearing them. They only make things worse.'
"Livvy, please calm down," Chloe signs patiently. She grabs both of Olivia's hands but their daughter wrenches them away, as if scalded. "Sweetie,"
"How long has this been going on Livvy?" Beca asks shakily.
'Since the start of the year.' The eight-year-old signs, eyes falling to her lap. She waits a second and adds, 'I'm sorry.'
Beca blinks, trying to process through the web of information thrown at her in the last few seconds. Past the paralyzing news that her daughter is being bullied, it goes beyond Beca's understanding why Olivia would ever apologize for being a victim.
"Why are you sorry, baby?" Beca prods, breath catching in her throat in apprehension.
'I'm sorry for being the way I am. I know it'd be easier if I could hear.'
A strangled sob bounced off the walls and Beca isn't sure if it comes from her or from Chloe, or from both of them. Beca reaches out gently, tilting Olivia's chin up so she looks at her.
If her resolve to remain strong has been quivering since Olivia spoke, it's now shattered into a million pieces too small to be picked up and glued back together when she catches the sadness in Olivia's blue orbs.
She wants to hold Olivia tight, but signing prevents her from doing that. Chloe does it for her though, wrapping her arms around Olivia's upper body and pulling her against her to press a comforting kiss to her forehead.
"Olivia, listen to me," Beca starts, attempting to come up with the right words.
It's near impossible, given the emotional mess her brain has been reduced to, so Beca lets her heart speak instead.
"No, it wasn't easy, I'm not going to lie. Once or twice I even told myself that it was too hard, but that's because I was scared. Scared of not being able to give you what you needed to be happy. Scared that life would be too harsh to you."
Beca smiles through her tears, pausing to cup Olivia's face gently, padding Olivia's own tears away.
"But you proved me wrong. You proved everyone wrong by never giving up, even when your disability has you jump hurdles that other kids don't have in their paths."
She meets Chloe's eyes briefly, then locks onto Olivia's identical blues.
"You are so special, sweetheart, and the best thing that ever happened to your Mommy and I. You taught us so much, and we wouldn't have it any other way. Please never believe otherwise."
Beca waits for her words to settle down, then adds.
"Okay?"
Olivia sniffles and nods. 'Okay.'
"And if those kids bother you again, you can just tell them to go fuck themselves."
She winks at her daughter who lets out a giggle while Chloe shakes her head in silent reprimand. Climbing back up onto the bed, Beca holds her small family close.
Olivia speaks again minutes later, and this time, her words piece Beca's heart back together.
"I love you, moms."
Beca drops a kiss into her hair as Chloe signs exactly what Beca's thinking.
"We love you, too. To the moon and back."
/
This is the big night; Olivia's first official performance.
It's the end of the year dancing school show. Olivia switched schools last year and has been a lot more at ease in this one. Her dance teacher has been praising her talent to Beca and Chloe every time she sees them.
And Olivia has been given a solo.
Beca can tell she is nervous. She doesn't eat much during the day leading up to her number, and looks as pale as a ghost when they get to the performance hall.
Just right before the show starts, Beca kisses Chloe and tells her she'll be right back. She sneaks backstage and finds her daughter by the curtain, worrying her bottom lip as she watches a few friend of hers perform.
She taps Olivia on her shoulder and crouches down. "Okay?"
Olivia shrugs and signs back. 'I'm scared.'
"What are you scared about?"
Olivia's big blue eyes bore into her. 'Everything. The people watching me.'
Beca sighs. "You know, I was terrified the first time I performed on stage on my own, too."
'Really?'
Beca makes a show of widening her eyes.
"Oh yeah," she smiles upon seeing Olivia's shoulders fall in relief. "But once I got out there and heard the first notes, I didn't care about all those people watching me anymore. Because when the music started, all my worries disappeared. And I know you feel the same way about dancing, right?"
Hesitantly, Olivia nods. Beca knows deep down her daughter is afraid of being off rhythm because she can't hear the music.
"Then you have nothing to worry about. Focus on your dancing, focus on yourself. Don't think about the music, let the audience do that. You, you dance your heart out and enjoy yourself, okay?"
'Okay.'
"Okay," Beca brushes a kiss across Olivia's forehead and hugs her tightly. "I'll see you out there, baby."
Olivia presents a contemporary dance piece that leaves her mothers at loss for words from start to finish.
Beca never expected so many feelings to be bottled up in such a young soul; beautiful, raw and honest emotions flawlessly translated through perfectly assembled choreography.
"Beca," Chloe's whisper is laden with amazement as the music fades out and Olivia bows under a thunder of applause.
Beca tears her eyes away from her beaming daughter to glance at her wife, choking on a watery laugh as she grips Chloe's hand. "I know."
At the end of the show, Olivia runs up to them, breathless and eyes lit up with glee.
'Moms! Did you see? Was it okay?' Beca tries to keep up with the quick, almost frantic hand movements. 'Did I do good?'
"You were amazing, baby," Chloe speaks before Beca can, and she nods along, because her voice seems lost somewhere under the wave of emotions that hit her body like a spinning tornado.
A mix of unparalleled pride, love and awe for her daughter's strength and determination.
Olivia's big, hopeful blue eyes settle on her.
'Mama?'
Beca remembers she doesn't need her voice to communicate, and smiles.
'Perfect.'