Hello, and welcome. I am, as you may well know, the Author, and I have come to tell you a story. It is the tale of…

The League of Legendary Contributors.

The League of Legendary Contributors have performed Legendary deeds throughout the entirety of existence, and the Galaxy forever remembers them for this.

Joshua G., Shen, FromTheDeep and Tyric Gaia are the current roster of this most exemplary group of heroes!

If you too wish to join the League and become immortalized as a hero, then feel free to do so at " Pat reon -dot- com -slash- FrancoGamerxz ".

Now, onto the story!

"Regular character speech"

"Differently inflectioned character speech" (Whispering, hissing, etc)

'Powerful character speech' (Backed by Killing Intent, Pressure, Sheer raw power, etc)

'Regular character thoughts'

'Mind Reading/Telepathic Conversation'

[Ddraig talking out loud]

[Ddraig telepathically speaking to Issei]

'Ddraig/Powerful being thinking'

Lunch break had come around to the students of Kuoh Academy, allowing them to vacate their classrooms en masse, heading towards the spot they found themselves the most comfortable eating at. For some, said spot was the roof, for others, the cafeteria, some hung around the hallways of the school, with a few students choosing to eat at their club rooms, or classrooms.

For a particular group of Kuoh High School Division students, the lunch spot was underneath a large tree in the center of one of the School's courtyards.

It was at that spot that Hyoudou Issei, the 'leader' of said group, lied down, his head resting on the lap pillow provided by one of the Four Great Onee-sama of Kuoh, Himejima Akeno - something that gained the envy and scorn of many a student of the Academy, be they male or female - who simply chuckled in amusement at the delightfully pained faces many of their classmates made whenever she chose to stroke Issei's hair.

Next to them were Motohama and Matsuda, Issei's best friends, who were focusing less on the rest of the eyes turned towards them, and more on whichever philosophical, moral and/or ethical dilemma that two sagely, cultured men such as themselves would be expected to concern themselves with- "It's gotta be striped panties!" "Striped? No, Animal print is where it's at!" - at any given date.

Completing the image was one Kiryuu Aika, who had chosen to make use of the lunch break to shamelessly and unhesitatingly lie atop Issei's body, her face nuzzling his neck as she took a nap.

The president of the Occult Research Club, one Rias Gremory, sat behind her desk within her clubroom, the magical circle for a Remote Viewing spell allowing her to witness this scene. She raised a hand to her chin, a small frown on her face as various thoughts revolved around her mind.

'You have no idea about the type of headache you've brought me so far, Hyoudou Issei. You remind me of him, and that makes me want to despise you, but… Both Sona and Akeno vouch for you, and they wouldn't do so if you were like him. Plus…'

A twirl of her fingers caused the image being shown by the magical circle to change, zooming into the close-eyed face of the brunet young man.

'Can someone as contemptible as Raiser look so peaceful in their sleep?'

Rias allowed herself to watch Issei's sleeping face for a while more, before reaching a decision.

'I'll push aside my prejudice, and wait for Koneko's opinion in order to make a choice. Until then, I'll simply focus on the fulfillment of contracts, so that if it does come down to a Peerage battle, we're powerful enough to face him.'

Rias cut off the stream of magic she had been sending to the spell, allowing it to fade away into motes of light, before turning back to her paperwork, sorting out the pamphlets to be spread around by her, Yuuto and Akeno's familiars, and parsing through those who had already sent requests to them.

Unseen and unnoticed by her, Issei's right eye cracked slightly for an instant, before closing again as he went back to enjoying his relaxed snoozing alongside his friends.

BOOM!

Issei dodged Butsu's punch, taking a short hop backwards to avoid the small crater it had made on the ground underneath them, before ducking to avoid a sword slash from Ginei.

The college-aged swordsman proceeded to release a barrage of slashes, each of them backed by an arc of compact, rock-hard snow, which Issei bobbed and weaved through, responding by stepping into Ginei's guard and aiming a punch towards his chest.

Ginei considered intercepting the punch with the bladed edge of his sword for all of an instant, before his instincts told him that would be a bad idea, causing him to instead block with the flat side of the Nodachi, which resulted in him being blasted away at high speed.

Issei felt moreso than he saw the snow that had packed up underneath and around him rise up, condensing and reshaping itself until Issei was surrounded by a small group of four snow mannequins, each of them armed with a different weapon made of ice.

A tilt of his head allowed the weight of one of the Mannequin's Kusarigama to sail past him harmlessly, before he sidestepped a downward slash from a particularly vicious-looking Naginata bearing a jagged blade. He jumped over a low sweep from an ice version of a Kanabo, stepping on the shoulder of the snowman that swung it in the first place and using him as a platform to jump off of and avoid the strike of a pair of snow Tonfa.

"BUTSU BREAK!"

A swipe of Issei's arm deflected Butsu's strike at the wrist, before an elbow to the chest pushed the oni back a few feet.

"Yukigumo!"

A familiar cloud of snow surrounded Issei, greatly reducing his visual range, before the sounds of raging winds reached his ears, likely with the intent to further reduce his ability to track his opponents.

'Mhm… I know the snow cloud is Ginei's, but the blizzard noises are likely Kasumi's. Not bad at all.'

Those factors still weren't enough to keep Issei from dodging the sickle of the icy kusarigama of one of the mannequins. That was followed up by him blocking consecutive strikes of ice tonfa, before deflecting the ice tonfa so that it intercepted the jagged edge of the ice naginata.

"Ha!"

A particularly harsh stomp from Issei was enough to blast the snowmen away from him and to disperse the snow cloud from around him, which gave him an instant to register the fact that Butsu was very close to him.

WHAM!

Issei's feet dug a pair of furrows on the ground as he slid to a stop, his crossed arms throbbing lightly from having been hastily raised to block Butsu's punch. Said Oni dashed towards Issei again, his fists encased in a black glow, before he released a barrage of punches that Issei responded with punches of his own, the repeated clashing of their fists releasing a series of small shockwaves that caused the hair and clothes of those nearby to shake and wave, as well as any of the plants, blades of grass and tree branches that managed to survive the clashes.

"BUTSU STRONGEST THERE IS!"

The Oni's horns glowed in an intense light before the glow around both of his fists became more intense. That was followed by the disappearance of the glow around his left fist, which was then followed by an even higher intensification of the one around his right fist.

The concentration of Butsu's power caused the air around the two of them to gain a certain weight to it, squashing the grass underneath them to get crushed into the ground, before the ground itself depressed around them in a spherical shape.

"BUTSU WIN!"

The Oni cocked back his fist with the intent to strike out at Issei, only for his eyes to widen. His head tilted downward, allowing him to see the fist embedded in his stomach, before he coughed out a wad of blood, his eyes rolling back before his whole body was blasted away, ending up in an unconscious heap a few feet away.

"BLAZE WALL!"

A handful of orange-glowing magical circles appeared in front of Issei, causing his eyes to widen in surprise and forcing him to jump back a few dozen feet.

Swish.

CLANG!

Ginei's eyes, which had already widened in surprise when Issei somehow managed to duck in order to avoid the attack he had aimed at him from behind, widened further when his blade suddenly stopped in middair, the sound that reached his ears and the trembling that ran down his arms making it seem as if he had struck a weapon or obstacle of some sort.

This assessment was validated when Suzushi suddenly appeared across from him, the pair of ice war fans in her hands being the only reason as to why Ginei's sword didn't reach her.

The two separated at that, Ginei's eyes still wide in surprise.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" Suzushi shouted, "YOU ALMOST TOOK MY DAMN HEAD OFF!"

"I didn't know you were there!"

"That was the point!" Suzushi spoke, her tone frigid and tight. "I had the fox hide me so I could strike at him without him noticing me, but then you had to go and ruin that plan!"

"Hey, it's not my fault! You were literally invisible, and you didn't warn me of your plan, so how was I supposed to know?"

"It was such a simple plan to figure out that even an idiot like you should've noticed."

"Idiot!? Why you-!"

The two were interrupted when a fist met each of their guts, blowing them away as well, though they were still conscious. The two managed to - slowly and painfully - turn their heads towards Issei, who sighed out loud and shook his head, before pointing a finger towards the two of them.

"The two of yo-"

BOOM!

Suzushi and Ginei's eyes widened when an explosion engulfed Issei, a torrent of flames springing up in a torrent of rage confined to that specific area.

"I dit it!"

They turned towards the sweat-drenched form of Kasumi, their eyes widening, while the Kitsune shot a smug smirk towards the two of them, pointing a thumb at her own chest in pride before speaking in a boastful voice.

"I finally did what all of you failed to do, and defeated him! Even after all of you made me waste a chunk of energy helping you, what with adding a few illusory fists to Butsu's barrage to force Issei to waste more energy defending, generating the blizzard noises to confuse him in the cloud of snow, and even making Suzushi invisible and inaudible, I managed to defeat him using only a magical circle hidden by an illusion to catch him by surprise!"

Ginei pointed in Kasumi's direction, his tone hesitant as he spoke.

"I-Issei-"

"Issei's fine!" Kasumi interrupted him in a nonchalant voice, waving her hand dismissively all the while. "You all felt how powerful he is! He shouldn't be too hurt! He's tough, you know?"

"Flattery gets you nowhere~"

Kasumi's eyes widened at the sound of Issei's voice whispering into her ear, but before she could have reacted, she felt a hand wrapping around the back of her neck, causing a nervous chill to go down her back.

She wiggled in place for a moment, only to stop when the grip around her neck became slightly tighter, before speaking in a shocked, incredulous tone.

"My Illusion hid the magical circle from view and hearing, and all of the magic that we've been slinging around should have left enough residue to hide it, so how-"

"Did I notice? Simple. Ginei and Suzushi's magic made this surrounding area noticeably cooler. In such an environment, it wasn't difficult to feel a small wave of warmth suddenly coming into existence underneath my feet."

"I-Bu-Wha- How do you even notice something as minor as that!?"

"Practice."

Issei released Kasumi's neck, with the girl's legs failing as soon as they touched the ground, allowing her to slide down to her knees. He called out to Daichi, who had been busy working with weights while the others sparred with him, and had him lift and carry Butsu towards them. After awakening the oni, and ensuring that all of the others were focused on him, Issei spoke.

"You guys know about these sources I talked about, the ones that informed me about the shady stuff that's been going on around the country?" The others nodded, remembering the first meeting they had with him. "Well, I've been working with them in order to figure out what's happening. They're busy putting out fires, so they have me do the legwork for them. I made a deal with them so that I got pay in the form of money, artifacts, spells, or other such things with value equivalent to the danger, duration and importance of the mission."

Issei let his gaze glide over each member of his team, registering their reactions to his words so far, before continuing.

"I'm sure you're curious as to why I'm telling you guys this, no?" They all reacted with varying degrees of interest, prompting him to go on. "I am telling you all of this because another stipulation in our deal was that I got to bring a team into the whole thing, and that my team got rewarded for their work, just as I am."

Issei paused, taking in the wide-eyed surprise of the others for a moment, before proceeding.

"This fight was the first time you guys showed some semblance of teamwork. Attacking in tandem, trying to box me in and cut off my avenues of action, pulling back when the heavy hitter initiated and focusing on providing support for him, you guys were good enough to make me want to bring you with me, to get you into your first mission."

Issei gave the group a moment of happiness, allowing Suzushi to smirk smugly, Kasumi to give a foxy grin, Ginei to nod with a level of seriousness unbefitting of the manner in which he hugged Kasumi's tails to his body as if plush toys, Daichi to twiddle his fingers fretfully, and Butsu to give his fists an intense look before giving a grin that could only be described as 'horrifying', likely thinking about all of his future fights-

"Until you fucked it all up in the end."

-before ruthlessly bursting their bubble.

"Butsu, you know I'm fast and strong enough to do serious damage to you, but you still chose to use a charge attack that left you open to my own attacks. Kasumi, Suzushi, neither of you thought of making use og your ranged options to keep me busy, and allow Butsu to actually release his attack.

"Ginei, you still have the problem of being a slow starter, unable to instantly ramp up from base to full strength, plus, you need to learn how to best get involved in messy melee situations. When I was being attacked by the snow mannequins - nice move by the way, Suzushi - there were holes and openings inbetween their attacks that you could've made use of to join the fight and dogpile me. You need to learn the flow of battle better.

"Suzushi, Kasumi, the sneak attack plan was pretty good, but you need to ensure that you either communicate that sort of plan to the rest of your team in order to avoid crossfire, or to enact them in a way that will leave your team out of the line of fire.

"Kasumi, pay more attention to your surroundings. Don't celebrate your victory too early, or you'll regret it. And for the love of all that is good, if your teammates are staring behind you and pointing with wide eyes and gaping mouths, move the fuck out of the way!

"Other than those specific failures from each of you, you need to focus greatly on teamwork, comprehension, on the ability to read each-other's pace, and on how to set up a synchronous flow in the battlefield. We're done for today, so feel free to go."

The members of the group had started walking off on their own paths when Issei spoke again.

"By the way, find disguises that can handle a beating. I may not thing you're ready just yet, but that could change."

Having said that, Issei walked off while waving the others goodbye over his shoulder, already having plans for the rest of his weekend.

"Oh, Ise~"

"You like it when I touch you right there, don't you, Aika?"

"Mhm... I love it~"

Issei's response turned into a grunt before it could leave his mouth, a consequence of Lilith's lips kissing the back of his shoulder while her hands wrapped around his bare torso, her fingers taking the time to explore his toned abs.

"Oh, I could grate cheese on these..."

Issei turned his head around and gave Lilith a kiss that even the french would consider excessive, before pulling back and nipping at the girl's bare neck.

It was not just her neck that was bare, though, as her upper body was clad only in a bra, the clasp of which was already unfastened and just waiting to be pulled away. Aika, who was trapped between Issei's body and his couch, was wearing only her skirt and a loose sweater, the lack of a bra allowing Issei's hand to explore her body under the piece of clothing.

Jingle

Clink

"Hello, Ise-..."

It was to this scene that Mama and Papa Issei, who had decided to pay their son a visit, walked into.

The two adults stared at the teenagers in shocked silence, an emotion that was reciprocated by the teens. Before anyone else could say a thing, Issei spoke up, his gaze unflinchingly meeting that of both of his parents as he did.

"This is exactly what it looks like."

"So... You came to visit."

"Indeed."

The exchange between Issei and his mother, Miki, was followed upon by more silence, while his father, Gorou, and his girlfriends, Aika and Lilith, squirmed in place, each of them feeling as if the pressure in the room was about to squash them flat in their seats.

Issei and Miki held each other's gaze for a long while, both of them affecting a neutral face, before Issei spoke.

"Would the two of you like something to drink?"

"Yes!" Gorou spoke up hurriedly, wishing to break the tense standoff between his wife and son, "Yes we would!"

Issei nodded at that.

"Water, juice or Hetap?"

"Water, please!"

Issei nodded towards Gorou before turning to Miki, who met his gaze silently until Gorou nudged her.

"Water for me as well."

"Alright."

Issei shuffled into his kitchen, leaving his parents behind with his extremely nervous girlfriends.

Said girlfriends got even more nervous when Issei's mother fixed them with an intense gaze, causing them to silently squirm in place even harder, all the while Issei's father gave them a mix of inquiring and apologetic looks.

"You," Miki spoke up suddenly and with a finger pointing towards Lilith, causing the other three in the room to jump in their seats, "I know. You are Lilith, Issei's girlfriend."

She turned towards Aika, her hands bridging together and covering the lower part of her face as she spoke.

"You, though... I do not know who you are."

Aika took a deep breath, steeling herself before addressing the two adults, her tone as calm and smooth as she could possibly make it as she spoke.

"I am Kiryuu Aika, Issei's other girlfriend." She gave the two of them a respectful bow after that. "Please take care of me."

Miki prepared to speak, only for Gorou to call out in a startled shout.

"OTHER GIRLFRIEND!?"

"Yes." Issei said as he walked back into the room. He placed a pitcher and two glasses filled with water on the table in front of his parents, seating himself back in between the two girls, and wrapped an arm around the shoulders of each. "Both Lilith and Aika are my girlfriends."

"And you're sexually active."

Miki's words were a statement rather than a question, but Issei still took the time to give his mother an assenting nod, which was mirrored by Lilith and Aika, though the two girls were somewhat more hesitant, and bore noticeably matching blushes.

"Have you been using protection?"

"Unfailingly."

"Good." Miki let out a loud, long sigh of relief at that. "At least you're being careful."

"Err…" Gorou raised his hand, as if he were a student in a classroom, his confusion evident in his tone. "Will somebody please explain… Whatever it is that is happening? Because I am utterly and genuinely confused."

"Harem plan is a go, dad."

"!"

Gorou reeled back at those words, his eyes wide in incredulity.

"W-what?"

"It is as you heard, dad. I finally did it."

Issei allowed his arms to leave the shoulders of his girlfriends as he leaned forward in his seat, his eyes shining brightly with an inner light as he took his father's hands into his own. Though his voice came soft, it still carried in it a triumphant note.

"I have done what every man dreams of at one point or another in their lives, though only very few have ever successfully accomplished. I have fallen in love with wonderful women who not only are 'okay' with the Harem Plan, but who have made the choice to help me achieve it."

"MY SON!"

Gorou pulled Issei into a proud hug, tears streaming freely down his face as he spoke.

"You truly are a man amongst men! Few are the times where I have felt as happy and proud in my life as I am now, after hearing these words!" Gorou pushed Issei back, allowing the gazes of the two men to meet. "The day I met your mother. The day I married your mother. The day we discovered your mother was pregnant with you. The day you were born. Those were, and still are, amongst the best days in my entire life. However, the knowledge that my son was the one to successfully walk the path of the ultimate enlightenment… This is the fifth best day of my life!"

The man paused for a moment, before mumbling to himself.

"Well, there was that birthday when Ise slept over at the Shidous' and Miki invited her three college friends…"

He shook his head clear of those wonderful memories, refocusing on his son.

"Not only do I find out my son has already been made into a man, but that he is, indeed, a Man amongst men... We must celebrate!"

He proceeded to wrap an arm around Issei before turning towards his wife.

"We'll be going on a manly celebration!"

"Very well," Miki said with a nod. "It will give me time to talk to my… Daughters-in-law."

Lilith and Aika gulped nervously at those words, the two of them shooting Issei pitiful looks, while the young man himself could only respond with a helpless shrug as his father dragged him out of the apartment, the door coming to a close behind them.

"So, girls," Miki said with a wide smile that had the two teenage girls shaking in place, while involuntarily giving nervous smiles in response. "How about we get to know each-other better?"

"Hey, old man..." Gorou looked down towards the son that he still held in a sort of hybrid hug-headlock, only for said son to flash him a thumbs up. "Nice acting!"

"Just following your lead, Ise!" Gorou responded with a thumbs up and a grin of his own, though said grin turned into a thoughtful frown as he spoke. "Wasn't it a bit mean though, leaving your girlfriends to deal with your mother on their own?"

"Lilith and Aika are big girls, they can take care of themselves. Plus, it was inevitable for mom to get any girl I date - girls, really - into a private talk. By making sure that this 'talk' happened right now, we made sure that mom didn't have any ammunition as far as picking on them goes, as all of my research of mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationships go."

"Alright, first of all, anime doesn't count as research. Second, unlike entertainment media loves to tell you kids, a mother-in-law doesn't make it her life's mission to nitpick at every little thing their daughter-in-law does and says."

-X-

"Do either of you girls know how to cook?"

Lilith and Aika laughed sheepishly, beads of sweat running down the backs of their necks.

-X-

"Are you sure?" Issei asked dubiously.

"Absolutely. Now tell me how you think we should celebrate." Issei gave Gorou a surprised look at those words, prompting the man to snort. "What, you thought I was kidding? You, my son, have become a man in all the ways that matter. You have a home to call your own, a job that pays the bills and lets you be self-sufficient, and not one, but two women that can satisfy any cravings for affection and company that you possess, and vice-versa. If that by itself doesn't deserve a celebration, then I don't know what does!"

"Well, if we're gonna celebrate, then I know just the right place!"

"And then I said…"

"...namoto, the dude from Kyushu…"

"...And then I stuck my finger in! Hahahahaha!"

Between the fact that it was located in the red light district, had an assortment of bikes arrayed out front, and had a rough 'feel' to it, "The Hammered Dwarf" seemed, to Issei, like the sort of place that his run-of-the-mill accountant father would do his absolute best to avoid.

"This brings back memories…"

Which is why Issei was so surprised by the reminiscing tone in his voice, and the nostalgic look in his eyes as he took in sight of the bar.

"Have you ever been here before, dad?"

Gorou looked away from the bar and back towards Issei, a nostalgic smile still on his face as he responded.

"I've never been to this particular bar, but I have been to this sort of rough-and-tumble bar before, a long time before you were ever born…" The man had a faraway gaze for a moment, before allowing his focus to return to his son. "But that's a story for another day. For now, we should go in and celebrate your graduation to adulthood!"

The man didn't hesitate to slam the doors of the bar open before calling out loud.

"A round of drinks on me!" Gorou's sudden and surprising words galvanized the whole bar, resulting in him getting shouts and exclamations of happiness, or even just a silent raise of a glass from all of the strangers inside. Gorou's own mood took an upswing at that response, prompting him to wrap an arm around Issei's shoulders and tug him into full view of the bar. "My son has become a man!"

All of the previous noise stopped, resulting in a sense of shocked surprise engulfing the bar.

"It's been a while since you've come here," A voice called out in a smooth, rich baritone. When Gorou looked towards the source of the voice in curiosity, he noticed the fact that it had come from the bald black man behind the bar, who had a towel slung over his shoulder, "Issei. Or, should I call you Dragon?"

"Sup, bossman!" Issei said casually with a hand raised in greeting, "It's definitely been a hot minute since I swung by. And I'd rather prefer Issei, thanks."

"Heh…" The man chuckled, before addressing Issei again. "So, not only do you show up when you're on 'break', but you also do so without giving a call beforehand, and in the daytime hours. What's the special occasion?"

Gorou looked from the man behind the bar - the name tag read Andre - to Issei, repeatedly, confusion obvious in his gaze. Issei noticed this, which prompted him to clarify things a bit.

"Dad, this is the bar I work at, 'The Hammered Dwarf', and the man behind the bar is the owner of the bar/the boss, Andre." Issei then allowed his gaze to sweep across the bar, before calling out loud. "And these are 'The Guys'; Boss, 'Guys', this is my dad."

Issei's words broke the silence that had engulfed the bar, prompting its various members to manifest themselves.

"Oh, Dragon-san!"

Issei felt his eyebrow twitch.

"It's the Dragon!"

His cheek was the one to twitch next.

"How long has it been since we've gotten glared at by him?"

His right eye followed after.

"We missed you, Dragon-san! Things were way more fun when you were around!"

"STOP CALLING ME DRAGON, YOU BASTARDS!"

The bar went quiet for a while, before Jun spoke up.

"Oh, there's that atrocious temperament that can only be soothed with money! Just like Dragon-san!"

"Dragon, huh?" Gorou said in a bemused tone. "Must be a story behind that name."

"Well there's not and the guys say it because they're stupid and boss says it because he likes going along with their joke."

Gorou had kept watching his son as he spoke, and the tiny tinge of red at the top of his ears had him smiling internally.

'So even this new manly, cool and composed self of yours can still feel embarrassed by your father, huh, Ise?'

He pushed that thought aside, seating himself at one of the barstools before calling out.

"I meant what I said earlier, Mr. Andre! A round for everyone!"

"Hoh?" Andre spoke up even as he filled a mug up with what he had on tap. "My regular customers are more likely to mooch off of each other than to do something like buying folks a round. Must be a special occasion… Or maybe I just have the wrong type of clientele?"

Andre and Gorou chuckled and Issei smirked, while a good few of the patrons close by let out a few chuckles of their own.

Issei could have even sworn he saw Jun raise his mug in smug agreement!

He blinked as his father's hand landed back on his shoulder.

"It Is a special occasion, Mr. Andre! It's not everyday that you find out your son has graduated into adulthood!"

"Just Andre's fine, Mr. Hyoudou, and what do you mean by graduating into full adulthood?"

"Gorou is fine as well, and… I mean that my son has become a manly man, whose cherry hasn't been popped as much as it was obliterated!"

Issei rolled his eyes at his dad's words, ignoring the fact that his face had mildly heated up.

'If only you knew, dad.'

"REALLY!?" Jun shouted at Gorou from his seat, before turning towards Issei. "YOU FINALLY LEARNED THE WAYS OF THE FLESH LIKE US MANLY MEN, HUH?"

"OI!" Kensuke jumped in with a shout of his own. "DON'T BE TRYING TO DRAG US REAL MEN DOWN TO YOUR LEVEL, JUN!"

"If by 'drag down' you mean 'make ascend beyond all limits', then you'd be absolutely right, as none of you seem to want to learn the methods of seduction from my esteemed self!"

"Shows what you know, you dumb, drunk bastard! My methods of seduction landed me my Miri, so they're obviously the best!"

Miri, who was seated besides Kensuke, finished guzzling down her mug of beer before turning towards her man, a lecherous grin on her face as she spoke.

"Keep smooth-talking me like this and I'll ride you so hard that my motorcycle will get jealous!"

Hoots and hollers filled the air even as Kensuke reciprocated Miri's lecherous grin with one of his own.

Gorou watched this scene with an amused smile on his face, allowing a chuckle to slip past his lips before taking a sip of his own beer.

"KENSUKE, YOU LOVEY-DOVEY BASTARD, YOU MAKE ME SO JEALOUS!"

"Hoh? I thought you were the grade-A manly man seducer himself, why would you be jealous of little old gameless me?"

Jun drowned his response in his mug of freely-given Ale before ordering one of his own, and guzzling that one down as well, which drew laughter from all sides of the bar. Kensuke turned towards Issei after that, a confident smile on his face as he pointed his thumb towards himself and spoke up.

"What about you, Dragon-san? I know you already got yourself a girl, but I could always teach you how to seduce her even furthe-"

"Don't need it."

"Hoh, are you sure? A woman's affection is something that you can lose easily if you make too many blunders or say the wrong thing, and that is doubly true for already fickle teenagers! My experience could help you keep your girlfriend liking you for longer!"

"Compliment a girl often, but only on things that you truly mean. Pamper her and give her attention and affection, but don't smother her, or get overly clingy. Be reliable and available for when she needs you, but don't treat her like some fragile piece of china. Spoil her a little bit, but don't try to buy her affection. Take the time to listen when she needs a friendly ear, and trust her to listen to you when you need to be heard. "

Everybody was nodding thoughtfully at Issei's words, especially the few women that were within the bar.

"Figure out her fetishes, and which of them intersect with the things you're willing to do."

More than a few people spat out their drinks at those words, yet Issei didn't stop, continuing in his general train of thought.

"Never forget about foreplay, or protection. Keep lube nearby in case it ever is needed. Remember that foreplay, when done properly, can lead to many powerful orgasms. Explore her body and watch her reactions to figure out what makes her tick, ask if needed or if you're uncertain. Find out how she likes to have sex, whether it's soft and tender, rough and frantic, a middle ground between the two, or neither; which are her preferred positions, sensitive spots, the type of language she likes using, and make sure that you give her at least three orgasms before any one of yours."

Some of the bar goers stared at Issei in stupefaction, others in surprise, and few in agreement and respect.

His father could only stare at him with undisguised pride, a pride that didn't fade despite the three mugs of beer he had already imbibed. Rather, he felt as if his pride was swelling even further.

"Damn, kid," Kensuke said with a wide grin, "Those are some high standards you hold yourself to."

The brunet shrugged, seating himself besides his dad and taking another small sip from the ice cold Hetap he was offered, before responding.

"It comes only annoying things I've had to deal with so far are how sticky and uncomfortable sheets can get, and how often they need to be washed."

"Really, now? You sure those are the only annoying things to deal with?"

Issei shrugged, getting another laugh out of Kensuke before the man leaned in, speaking in a faux-whisper that easily carried through their section of the bar, as it was likely intended.

"You ever get hit with the 'Does this dress look good on me/make me look fat' question? 'Cause that's a dangerous one, let me tell you that."

"Those aren't all that hard, really. Or, I haven't had trouble with those sorts of questions, at least."

"Hoh? Then enlighten the rest of us about this miracle solution you've found, oh mighty sage!"

Issei took another sip of his Hetap, savoring it for a while and allowing tension to build, before speaking.

"Kiss her."

"What?"

"If your girlfriend/fiancé/wife asks you if something makes her look fat, just kiss her with all you've got. Make the kiss so hot that she knows you'd be willing to take her right then and there if possible. Personally, I'd be as willing to ravage my girlfriends if they were clad in a set of high fashion clothes as if they were wearing a potato sack." Issei pointed his finger towards Kensuke with a confident smirk on his face. "Make sure that the message sticks and you should have no problem."

"...Have you ever considered teaching seduction classes?"

The other patrons groaned at Jun's words, while Gorou watched with a smile as Issei bantered around with the various criminal elements around, many of them at least twice as old as the young man.

He never noticed the way Miri, Kensuke's wife, stared at him curiously before her face went pale, her eyes snapping open in a mix of recognition and trepidation. Kensuke noticed this, however, nudging his wife before tilting his head in a silent question, which was answered with a silently mouthed 'Later'.

"Later, boss."

"See ya, kid."

Andre watched Issei and his father, Gorou, leave with an amused smirk, having enjoyed teasing and needling the usually unflappable teen until his embarrassment became too much to fully hide. As soon as they had left, Kensuke spoke up.

"What's wrong, Miri? You stared at Issei's old man for a while, then you looked like you saw a ghost."

The woman looked down into her mug for a bit, her face taking a somewhat nostalgic turn to it before she spoke.

"That man… I know him from my younger days, when I first became a delinquent back in High School."

"Really?"

"Yeah." She took a sip of her beer, before continuing, "Make sure everyone knows that he is not to be fucked with at any given time."

"Well of course, he's Dragon's dad, and I don't think murder would be out of consideration by him if someone messed with his family."

"No, you're not getting it! Even without taking Issei into consideration, that man is someone that should not be touched."

Seeing his wife's worried look had Kensuke suddenly acting much more soberly than he had previously been, his demeanor serious as he spoke.

"That bad?"

"Heh…" Miri let out a mirthless chuckle, "Trying to mess with him would bring calamity down upon the whole of Kuoh's underworld."

Miri's solemn warning was taken seriously by those in attendance, who took the task of spreading the message and laying down the law very seriously for a myriad of reasons, amongst them their appreciation of their favorite bartender.

"We're back."

"I'm home!"

Issei and Gorou called out at the same time as they reached Issei's apartment, before they took in the sight of Miki chuckling behind her hand, while Aika smirked smugly, and Lilith tried to hide her snort by taking a sip from one of the three teacups now on the table.

"Oh." Miki spoke up, "It seems the men-folk have chosen to join us, after whatever ritual it is they did. Snacks?"

Miki extended a small platter out to the two, who didn't hesitate to pick up a snack each and pop it in their mouths, before their eyes popped open at the burst of flavor that hit them.

"Did you like it?"

They nodded, causing Miki's smile to widen as she turned towards the two girls.

"See, told you you'd do alright!"

"Mother-in-law…" Lilith trailed off, before Aika spoke up.

"We wouldn't have been able to do something like that without your instructions…" She paused, uncertainty flashing within her eyes for an instant before disappearing. "Mother…"

Issei's gaze focused on Aika for a moment before softening, only to glide towards his mother. Their eyes met and Issei conveyed as much gratitude as he could through through them even as he gave his mother a small nod, an act that she reciprocated with an easy smile, before speaking up.

"As I've already told you girls, you can come to me if you want to learn more, if you have any problem you'd like me to help you with, or if you simply wish to talk." She looked down at her watch for a moment, before looking back up to the girls, then at Issei. "With that being said, I think it's about time we stopped bothering you children."

The two adults left shortly after, having been invited by the teens to visit again soon. After having seen his parents off and having settled back onto his couch, Issei allowed himself to go limp in his seat before addressing his girlfriends.

"So, I take it your talk with mom went well?"

The two girls traded knowing looks before turning towards him, secretive smiles on their faces as they spoke in stereo.

"Very well."

"Very well!"

Issei's right eyebrow rose curiously.

"You talked about something interesting?"

"Secret!"

"That's a secret!"

The brunet raised his hands in surrender as soon as the girls said that, before pulling the two of them into a hug that they snuggled into.

Issei and Aika had escorted Lilith back to her school when her curfew came around, before returning home and dealing with some schoolwork for a few hours before cuddling together watching a movie until bedtime.

Issei took a deep sniff of the covers, appreciating the sweet scent of the clothes detergent Aika had picked up for them, before shifting lightly when he felt Aika's arms wrapping around his side.

"Ise…"

He looked down at the girl, his vision completely ignoring the fact that the room was pitch black, before responding.

"Mhm?"

"Your mom is really cool."

"Yeah, she is."

"I wish I had a mother like that."

Issei wrapped an arm around Aika and pulled her closer, planting a kiss on the crown of her head before responding.

"Well, since your birth mom isn't too pleasant, how about I share mine with you?"

The girl responded by tightening her arms around Issei's torso, letting out a mild chuckle before murmuring sleepily into his side.

"Thanks, Ise. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, baby."

"Love you."

"Love you too, my Ai-chan."

-Chapter, End!-