I think this is my first doctor who fic? 2019 is the year we embrace giving in and writing for all the fandoms, right? I needed an excuse to write about this episode, thank gallifrey for thasmin week! Ps. titles are hard!

Consequences Aren't Always Bad

Thirteen hadn't wanted to be the reason for her fam worrying.

She hadn't wanted them to focus on her when they were the ones who were human and less mentally equipped to handle strange new environments, deceptive aliens, and death.

In hindsight, it had been a terrible idea to suppress her pain and throw herself into the Pting situation. But there wasn't much else she could have done; she hadn't even had her beautiful TARDIS with her to comfort her and there had been lives to be saved.

Now, as she hunches over the TARDIS console, her breath alarmingly shallow and her vision coming and going like waves on an earthly beach, she almost wishes she'd done something differently. Maybe if she hadn't been so selfish, she wouldn't have lost anyone and she might have been able to save a beautiful relationship that's now lost to alternate realities. Maybe-

The TARDIS hums pointedly and Thirteen gives her a weak smile. "Sorry, I know we've talked about the whole guilt thing but- whoa!"

The whole room tilts in a blur of orange and yellow and blue and her knees buckle as she throws her arms out to try and steady herself. She ends up on her knees, resting her head on the cool metal of the TARDIS and groaning ever so quietly.

"Who even designed spleens?" she mutters to herself as she attempts to pull herself up.

It works, until it doesn't - and when she crashes back onto the floor, she just gives in and leans on the railing, breathing heavily as she curls over to try and stabilise the fluctuating pain of her insides fixing themselves yet again.

"Doctor?"

Yeah, one of those would be nice, Thirteen thinks as she weakly grins to herself.

"Doctor?" This time, the voice sounds a lot more worried, and suddenly Thirteen realises who exactly is calling out her name.

Yaz.

Of course it's Yaz. Brave, beautiful Yaz with her compassion and intelligence and stunning smile. She really is one in a billion - no, one in a universe. Almost a thousand years of time and space and Thirteen has never met anyone like Yaz. She's met a lot of people but none of them had settled into her life quite as quickly and firmly as the way Yaz has.

"Doctor!" Yaz exclaims frantically, kneeling beside her before Thirteen can blink. "What happened, why are you on the floor?"

"Well, it's not like there's a sofa around here, is it?" Thirteen mumbles, offering Yaz her best impression of a smile.

Yaz snorts in amusement before her expression settles on concern and she places her hand on Thirteen's forehead, frowning. "You're so warm! Are you ill? Why didn't you say something?"

Thirteen lifts a hand and waves it dismissively, hating the way that takes up so much of her energy. "It's just the healing process from that blast. I'll be fine, don't you worry, Yaz!"

"How can I not worry when you're clearly in pain?" Yaz asks rhetorically, then nods to herself, staring right into Thirteen's eyes with determination. "Come on, up you get, you need to rest somewhere more comfortable!"

Too tired to protest, Thirteen uses Yaz as a makeshift ballast to pull herself up, successfully this time, and the two of them make their way to a room the TARDIS is clearly guiding them towards. Thirteen is exhausted by the time they get there but Yaz pulls her to the bed - which is purple and lightly glowing for some reason - and gently sits her down.

"I'm guessing painkillers don't work for you?" Yaz asks sadly.

Thirteen almost lies and says that they do, just to get rid of that sadness in Yaz's eyes, but she doesn't want it to backfire so she just shakes her head and leans back on the headboard, closing her eyes. "Thank you."

Yaz laughs. "I should be the one thanking you, I'm pretty sure you saved our lives."

Except that her life, and everyone else's lives, wouldn't need saving had it not been for her and her selfishness so is it really right to thank her for saving them?

Since she's too tired to hide it, Yaz must notice the distress on her face because she immediately puts a hand on Thirteen's arm and shakes her head. It takes Yaz a moment to ponder something and Thirteen can't help being amazed by how someone can care so much and so deeply for her wellbeing.

"Whatever you're thinking, Doctor, don't. I've never had as much fun- I've never lived as much as I have with you and I don't… I'll never regret even a second of it," Yaz declares softly, something gentle and kind burning in her gorgeous brown eyes.

Thirteen smiles. "Are you sure? Travelling with me is a heavy commitment and I will absolutely understand if you'd rather-"

Yaz leans forwards and kisses Thirteen's nose.

It's quick and light and unexpected and absolutely perfect.

It's also surprising enough to distract Thirteen and pull her away from her argument into a state of silent shock in which she can do nothing but stare at Yaz in wonder.

"There's nowhere I'd rather be than beside you," Yaz reiterates shyly, and Thirteen's heart melts.

She's not sure if her eyes water because of the pain in her side or the abrupt lack of pain in her heart.

"Yaz…" she breathes, wanting to do so much but only managing to find Yaz's hands and intertwine their fingers.

Somehow, with her usual magic, Yaz understands. She moves closer so she's beside Thirteen and puts an arm around her shoulders as if trying to shield her, smiling with joy and relief and a healthy dose of concern.

"I know, Doctor. Just rest for now, we can sort everything else out later," she promises sincerely.

With a clear demonstration of inconvenient timing, Thirteen cries out as another wave of pain hits her again and she unknowingly tightens her grip on Yaz's fingers, squeezing her eyes shut as she does.

"It's okay, just breathe, I've got you," Yaz soothes, her voice easing away the spikes of fire inside her and turning them into waves of recovery.

Thirteen nods, knowing that, later, she'll be embarrassed to have appeared so weak in front of someone she so dearly wants to be strong for. But for now, her brain decides it's more important to lean on Yaz and curl into her warmth, using the scent of magnolia and chilli powder and smoke to calm down.

Her body finally reaches the stage of pulling her into unconsciousness so she can heal and wake renewed so Thirteen looks up at Yaz and smiles gratefully, hoping Yaz knows how much she appreciates this, then lets her eyes close and sinks into a comfortable rest.

She thinks she feels a soft kiss on her forehead just before she falls asleep but maybe that's just wishful thinking.

Thanks for reading! Leave a review with thoughts! See you tmrw hopefully!