Can I Keep It?

…

Garrus finds a human baby on a routine mission. Shepard thinks they should leave it with the refugees, but Garrus is getting attached. Shepard/Garrus.

…

Disclaimer: This author in no way profits from the writing of this story. All characters, dialogue, or other referenced material from the Mass Effect trilogy belong to Bioware.

…

Shepard should have known things were going too smoothly.

It was an easy mission, just clearing out a small Cerberus science outpost to get the data stored there. It should have been in and out with little trouble. These kind of strikes were what the Normandy was best at, after all. Still, knowing her, she should have realized it was going to go tits up.

Shepard slowly raised herself out of cover, eyeing the room carefully for movement. "James, report," she called tersely.

"All clear, Commander," she heard through her comm.

"Garrus, report."

Silence.

The sound of her heart started to fill her ears. She couldn't hear gunfire from anywhere on the base…

"Garrus! Report."

"All clear, Shepard," he said finally, and her heart started to calm.

"Can you come here?" he added. "I've got something you need to see."

She crossed the base, going the direction she had sent him, admiring the work of his perfect aim as she went. His headshots were numerous and flawless. She saw another doorway at the back of the lab she'd asked him to clear. Passing through it, she finally found Garrus, standing with his back to her. He turned, something cradled in his arms.

She looked closer to see a small, chubby-cheeked baby, wrapped in a pristine white blanket. "Oh, shit."

…

Of course there had been no question that they had to take the baby to the Normandy. They weren't heartless monsters, they wouldn't leave a baby to fend for itself in a base they had just massacred. But it wasn't exactly the kind of cargo they were used to liberating from Cerberus.

EDI had, thankfully, made no jokes when Shepard had asked her to tell Chakwas. All James had said was, "Why are all of your missions so loco?" Fortunately, they managed to collect the needed data and made their way to the shuttle without further incident. The child hadn't even woken up.

"Hand the baby here, Garrus," Shepard said, once they had boarded the shuttle. He seemed somewhat reluctant, but after a moment of hesitation he deposited the baby in her arms.

Odd to find something so innocent among all that destruction, she mused. Shepard carefully unwrapped the blanket, finding the child unharmed and perfect in every way. Ten tiny fingers, ten tiny toes. A tuft of soft, pale hair on its head. Not a mark on its rosy skin. Shepard snuck a peek in the child's diaper while Garrus watched her curiously.

"It's a girl," she said to the turian, and tucked the blanket securely back around her.

Shepard blinked in surprise as Garrus plucked the baby back from her arms, snuggling her against his armor. Shepard turned on her heel and went to the cockpit, distracting herself from the ache that had formed suddenly in her chest.

…

"She's perfectly healthy," Chakwas announced to a waiting Shepard and Garrus. James had stayed below decks, but the other two had followed Chakwas up to the med bay as soon as they'd stowed their armor and weapons.

"If I had to guess, I'd say she's about four months old, just old enough to manage with pureed fruits and vegetables or nutrient paste. Any younger and she'd need formula, which we don't have."

The baby was awake now, wiggling and babbling in Chakwas's arms. She was a happy little creature—didn't seem the least bit troubled by the new location, new people, or the raid on the base she'd just endured.

"I'm just curious what she was doing there," Shepard said, leaning a hip against one of the med bay cots.

Garrus's mandibles twitched. "I, uh… I think she may have belonged to one of the scientists. There was one, a woman. She ran for the door that led to the room the baby was in."

It didn't take an expert in turian expressions to comprehend his guilt. "You couldn't have known," Shepard said, putting a hand on his crossed arms. "And for all we know, the baby could have been kept there for experimentation. We may have saved her. Think of what someone like Jack went through."

"In any case," Chakwas said, cutting in, "We need to find a home for her. I recommend taking her to the Citadel. The refugee camp there will know what to do with a child."

"Of course," Shepard said, feeling relief at being given direction. "I'll tell Joker, but we're still a few days out from the Citadel. Can we manage with her on the ship until then?"

Chakwas smiled. "I'm sure there are those among the crew who would be happy to babysit."

"I'd be happy to take her," Garrus said quickly. "While you're getting things figured out."

Shepard nodded hesitantly, eyeing her boyfriend, and left the room.

…

Everyone took turns with the baby, delighting in her joyful laugh and innocent smiles. Shepard watched it all but kept her distance. It didn't escape her that Garrus was out of the main battery more than ever before. His arms were always waiting to take the baby for a feed, a bath, or even a diaper change.

Shepard tried hard not to think about what it all meant, even when he convinced her to keep the baby in their shared quarters overnight during the two and a half day long journey to the Citadel.

"It'll be a piece of cake," he promised. "I've been reading about human babies, and she seems to respond really well to my subvocal cues," he said, bouncing the little girl in his arms. "Check this out."

He began rocking her more gently, using his dual-toned voice to hum a tuneless lullaby. In minutes the baby was fast asleep in his arms.

"Nice trick, huh?" he said smugly, setting her down in the makeshift crib Chakwas had put together.

Shepard shook her head. "Who knew the secret to getting babies to sleep was turian voices? Then again," she said, her eyes sparkling devilishly, "Your voice always did something special for this human." Her fingers trailed to the codpiece of his armor.

She was a bit miffed when he didn't rise to her bait and instead pulled her hand away. "We shouldn't," he said. "Not while the baby is sleeping right there."

Shepard rolled her eyes. Sure, the baby was asleep, but how was she going to sleep when Garrus would just leave her worked up like this?

…

Shepard woke in the middle of the night to the baby crying. She groaned and shifted in her exhaustion, but Garrus didn't move.

"Superior turian ears my ass," she grumbled quietly, climbing out of bed to tend to the baby.

After changing the baby's diaper, Shepard warmed up a small packet of nutrient paste. Still fussy, the baby whined and wiggled, not letting Shepard feed her.

"Come on, baby girl, I know you're hungry," Shepard said. Remembering what Garrus had done earlier, she started humming, hoping it would calm the baby down.

At the very least, it seemed to shock the baby into silence as her eyes opened wide, staring up at Shepard. Shepard took that opportunity to put a spoonful of paste in the baby's open mouth, laughing quietly at her surprised reaction.

"You like that, huh?" She smiled. "Then you're going to love my singing." And Shepard started crooning softly, a song she remembered from her childhood. Distracted and docile, the baby let Shepard feed her the rest of the paste, yawning and stretching in Shepard's arms. As the little girl's eyes fluttered closed, Shepard felt a measure of peace settle over her, something she hadn't felt in a long time.

The reapers, everything else, seemed far away right now. The things that mattered were right in front of her.

…

Despite Shepard's moment of weakness—or perhaps because of it—she kept her distance from the baby the following day. While the women on the ship (and Garrus) cooed over the child, Shepard busied herself with messages and reports for the Alliance. When she'd exhausted herself enough to return to her quarters, she found Garrus playing peekaboo with the baby on the bed.

"Where is she?" Garrus asked, holding up a blanket between them before dropping it. "There she is!"

The baby giggled in delight, waving her arms wildly and smiling at the turian as he reached out and tickled her.

"Shepard!" Garrus said in surprise as she entered the room. "We've been waiting for you. Seems like you've been working hard today."

He scooped the baby up into his arms, nuzzling his head to the baby's as he stood with her. Shepard's heart clenched at the sight.

She sighed, taking the little girl from him and settling her in the crib. She handed the baby the toy Private Westmoreland had made, a small plastic bottle with dried rice inside that made a satisfying rattle.

Shepard's voice was flat. "Garrus, you shouldn't get too attached. We have to leave her on the Citadel."

He tilted his head, and Shepard just knew he was about to argue. "But can't we…"

"Garrus." She swallowed hard, eyes pleading with him to understand. "She's not safe on a warship."

"Safer than anywhere else!" he burst out. "Every planet is getting attacked. Even the little colonies! Nowhere is as safe as the Normandy right now," he said passionately.

"So you want to raise her? Us?" She stared at him.

His voice was gentle now. "Don't tell me you don't feel it. I heard you singing to her."

Crap. "I like babies. That doesn't mean I need one of my own."

"You want this as much as I do, Shepard. Admit it!" He grabbed her wrist.

The dam burst forth, pain and longing flooding her body. "Fine! Yes!" She ripped her arm from his grasp, turning away. "I want this so much it hurts! So why are you pushing so hard when you know we can't?" Shepard swiped angrily at the tears that had formed in her eyes.

Garrus reached out for her again, gently turning her to face him.

"Jane, love… I'm pushing because I think we can." He pulled her tight to his chest, letting her tears soak his shirt.

When she had mastered herself, she pulled back, sitting down on the bed with him beside her. "Alright, Vakarian. Work with me here. How are the logistics of this going to work?"

"I've got it all planned out," he said in his most soothing voice. "We can talk about it later. But right now, don't you want to hold your daughter?"

Her heart pounded as his pale blue eyes bored into hers. Her voice came out as a hoarse whisper. "Yes."

He picked up the baby and carried her to Shepard's waiting arms. The tiny girl looked up, staring at her with cloudy blue-grey eyes.

"Hello sweetheart," Shepard said softly. "I'm your mommy."

…

The following day, still a few hours out from the Citadel, Shepard stepped into the main battery. "Hey, Garrus, do you have a minute?"

"I want to name her Victoria," Garrus said without turning around. "For our victory against the reapers."

Shepard blinked. "Okay…"

"And what was your mother's name?"

"Hannah, but…"

"So Victoria Hannah Shepard."

"But…"

"And we've got to get married."

Shepard's heart just about stopped. "Garrus!" She grabbed his arm. "Can you slow down for just a second? What's this about getting married?"

He finally looked at her. "Well, we can't adopt her together unless we're legally married. I figured we can get that taken care of when we hit the Citadel."

"Garrus, I'm not sure I can handle you talking about getting married so casually," Shepard said faintly, sitting down on a crate. "Doesn't this all seem a bit fast to you?"

Garrus walked over, squatted down in front of where she sat, and took her hands in his. "Shepard… Jane. I'm sorry if I scared you. But I want this with you. All of it. I feel like I've loved you forever, but if this seems too fast for you we can figure something else out."

Her heart calmed at the soothing tone of his voice. "It's not, I don't think. It's all just very sudden. We never talked about marriage before. Um… how long have you loved me?" she asked shyly.

Garrus's mandibles fluttered in what she thought was embarrassment. He stood, releasing her hands as he took a few paces. "I figured it out on Omega. Had a lot of time to think and realized why it hurt so much to lose you. I wasn't just losing a commander and friend. Seeing you come back was…" He shook his head. "A miracle." He looked at her. "And you?"

She stood, approaching him to put a gentle hand on his scarred mandible. "When the rocket hit you, I… I don't scream like that for everyone. I thought I was going to die again if I lost you that day. I don't know if it was love yet, but it was something."

"You see?" Garrus said, wrapping his arms around her. "This has been building for a long time. Most people decide to get married a while before they start picking out kids, but when have we ever been normal?"

Garrus smiled at her answering laugh. "There's my girl," he said warmly. "Jane Shepard, will you marry me when we reach the Citadel?"

Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears. "Of course I will." She pulled him in for a kiss.

"Oh," she added after a minute, thinking back to their earlier conversation. "And it's going to be Victoria Hannah Vakarian, not Shepard."

Garrus smiled. "As you wish, my soon-to-be wife."

After they'd celebrated their new status, Shepard burst into Liara's quarters. "Liara," she said, "I need a marriage license."

…

Of course the entire crew wanted to be present for the ceremony.

Liara had convinced her to wait a day, as "it would take that long to get the license ready." Shepard had her doubts, but was distracted by the other women on the crew who dragged her shopping for everything a good wedding would need.

"It really doesn't have to be this elaborate," she'd tried to protest, but no one was listening. When she complained to Garrus, he only laughed.

"Shepard, sweetie, love of my life… If you wanted it to be simple, you should have kept it a secret. This crew will take every chance to shower you with love. I suggest we just go along with it." He pressed his forehead to hers before letting her drag him into an extended kiss. "Now, I've got to go," he said. "The guys are taking me ring shopping."

She only blinked as he walked away. Ring shopping, huh?

…

Her crew had planned everything.

They'd gotten approval to use the Presidium gardens, had found an officiant, had planned a reception of some kind. They'd gotten Shepard and Garrus into formalwear—had even convinced Shepard to wear a dress for the occasion. Everything was ready. Everything was perfect.

The ceremony was short and sweet. Some of the crew cried. Shepard managed not to, even when Tali presented Victoria in a tiny blue and silver dress that matched the wedding colors. Even when she spoke her vows. Even when Garrus slid the ring onto her finger, a unique, triangle-shaped stone held delicately between the two ends of the band. The stone was a pale blue, almost clear.

"The man at the store called it a tension setting," he said later, at the swanky restaurant Liara had booked for the reception. "I picked it because there's no sharp edges or anything protruding that would get in the way of your work. Do you like it?"

She showed him, rather than told him, how much she did.

The ladies of the Normandy insisted on taking Victoria for the night. "This is your honeymoon!" Traynor insisted. "Such as it is. We got you a hotel for the night as a wedding present." She winked. "Enjoy it!"

Liara bustled up to them before they left, all business. "I've got you an appointment with the department of vital records and an adoption caseworker tomorrow afternoon. We should be able to get the adoption through within a few days." She squeezed both of their hands. "Be happy. You deserve it."

They were mobbed by the crew throughout the night with drinks, well-wishes, handshakes, and hugs. By the time they were leaving, Tali was almost incoherently drunk, but still managed to show her joy by grabbing both of them into a tight group hug.

And finally, they were able to escape to the hotel.

…

"You look beautiful," Garrus said, his eyes soft on Shepard's form. "Have I told you that today?"

"Once or twice," she said with a smirk, but there was no bite to her teasing. The gown was simple, a satin sheath of pale silver that showed off her strong shoulders and hung elegantly to the floor. With his help, she unzipped it, letting the spaghetti straps fall and the dress sink to the ground. She stepped out of it, wearing only a slim bustier and panties.

"And the view just got even better," Garrus uttered, reaching for her.

"Uh-uh," she warned him away. "You first. You're still wearing too much." She smiled.

She admired him as he stripped out of his black and blue formal wear, revealing the silver plates and fawn-colored hide beneath. He had the body of a dangerous predator… and it was beautiful.

As soon as his clothes were gone, she pounced. She knew all his weak points, the spots that made him writhe and moan and made his cock emerge from behind protective plates. She was merciless, but two could play that game.

She moaned at the perilous scrape of his teeth against her neck. The hint of danger was nearly enough to soak through her panties, and his fingers beginning to rub finished the job. He lifted her up by the small of her waist, hooking her legs over his angular hips as he carried her towards the king-size bed. He laid her down and examined the bustier.

"How the hell do I free you from this contraption?" he asked in frustration, and Shepard laughed, showing him the long row of hooks that held it together.

Shepard winced a little as she heard some of them rip. Her new husband was too impatient to be careful. When he'd freed her from it, he lavished attention on her breasts, nipping the tip with his lip plates. He moved lower on her body, using his long tongue to tease her clit which was already swollen and throbbing. He kept at it until she screamed his name, and then she was cold as he pulled away.

She only had long enough for a single mewl of longing before she was being filled with his long, thick cock. She groaned as he pushed inside her, full to burst. And the delicious friction of their bodies drove away all rational thought.

"Wife," Garrus ground out above her. "Bondmate." Shepard moaned her agreement.

"Say it," he goaded her. "Say who I am to you."

"You're my husband," she said, gazing into his eyes. "My husband."

At that he slammed into her, coming hard within her body. God, she loved seeing him come apart above her. The sight thrust her over the edge, and she tightened around him. He slumped into a boneless mass, his mouth next to her ear.

"Wife," he said.

She turned her head, pressing her forehead to his. "Husband."

…

Garrus carried Victoria into the vital records office for their meeting. Sure, it probably would have been simpler for Shepard to carry the baby—she'd certainly have gotten less weird looks around the Citadel. But Shepard had a hard time denying Garrus. He adored Victoria to bits, and the adoration was mutual.

"We're here for our appointment," Shepard said at the front desk. "Jane Shepard and Garrus Vakarian?"

"Of course," the woman said with a smile. "Right this way."

The room was small, housing little more than a round metal table and four chairs. Two were already occupied by a male and female human.

After the introductions were made, the woman pulled up her omni-tool. "Right. I see that all of your paperwork has been forwarded already. Very thorough. The application, references, emergency guardianship… everything is in order. We do have a few things to go over, but I had better turn this over to my partner here. We can talk once he's finished." She nodded at the man.

He smiled. "First things first, we need to make sure no one has a claim on this little one. If she's been entered into the vital records database, we may be able to identify a next of kin. No adoption can go through if there is a claimant."

Shepard went pale. Next to her, Garrus's arms tightened around Victoria.

"You mean… she could still be taken away from us?" Shepard managed to ask.

"If she has living relatives, they have the first claim on her," the man said with a sympathetic shrug. "It's not likely in the middle of this war, but these steps must be taken." He turned and smiled at the baby. "Now, little one, we just need a tiny swab of your DNA."

He took a swab kit from a cabinet in the corner and approached Victoria. Garrus helped hold her mouth open long enough for the man to get a swab.

"We'll check this against the database," the man said, securing the sample. "Assuming she's been registered, we'll know by tomorrow morning who she is and if she has any living relatives to claim her."

"If she does?" Garrus asked, worry plain in his voice.

"We'll try to contact them. Your emergency custody order will still stand until someone makes a claim on her or declines custody."

"How long will that take?" Shepard asked, trying to hide her fear and desperation. "How long do they have to respond?"

"Twenty Citadel days," he answered. "At that time if there is no response, their claim will be considered invalid."

"So long…" Shepard said under her breath. She looked up. "And if there are no relatives?"

At that the man smiled. "Then she's yours, assuming you pass the evaluation by child services. Let me get this in process," he said. "I'll contact you tomorrow with news."

Shepard and Garrus turned their attention back to the woman, who'd been waiting patiently. "Now," she said, "There are a few points that we need to discuss…"

When they finally left the office, their minds were spinning with new knowledge and fears. Shepard was terrified that they could still take the baby away. She and Garrus returned to the Normandy, going straight up to their cabin. Victoria had never been so spoiled as she spent the day being passed between them, neither wanting to let go.

…

They were having a tense breakfast in the mess when Shepard's omni-tool rang. Pulling Victoria off her lap, Garrus held the baby close with one hand and wrapped the other arm around Shepard.

When the man's face appeared on-screen, he was smiling. "I have good news for you. Your little girl's DNA was never entered into the vital records database. She was never registered by her birth parents, meaning there is nothing on this end to prevent your adoption. I've just forwarded the findings to the child services department. You should be hearing from them before the end of the day."

When the call ended, Shepard turned, burying her face in her husband's shoulder. "Thank god," she breathed.

"Shepard?" called another voice. "What's going on?"

Shepard pulled herself from Garrus and looked up to see Liara standing just outside her office. "We just found out that Victoria doesn't have any relatives on record. There's no one who can take her away from us!"

Liara blinked. "Of course not," she said. When she saw the confusion on Shepard's face, she sighed. "Oh, Shepard. You should have asked me." She came forward, grasping Shepard's hand in her own. "I already checked for that, days ago. I hacked into vital records to be sure."

"You did?" Garrus asked.

She gave them a small, sad smile. "I wasn't going to let you get your hopes up for nothing."

Despite the stress of the past day, Shepard couldn't help but laugh. Of course Liara knew.

…

Garrus was determined to buy out all the baby stores on the Citadel.

"We still have to fit it on the Normandy," Shepard reminded him, restraining him from buying Victoria yet another large toy.

"I just want to spoil our little girl," he said, stroking her soft hair as she lay cradled to his chest in her new sling.

Garrus had taken to this "baby wearing" thing he had heard about, insisting to Shepard that it would promote bonding. He had been disappointed at first when the baby carriers were all designed for humans to wear. He'd been delighted when he later discovered an adaptable baby sling that could be wrapped to fit anyone. Shepard had punched James for laughing at Garrus wearing it. The women onboard thought it was adorable.

"We can spoil her when we've settled down somewhere a little larger than the captain's cabin," she reminded him. "For now, stick to the basics. And small toys. Small, quiet toys." For the sake of Shepard's nerves, the rattle from Private Westmoreland had been "lost" forever.

They rearranged her cabin to allow for Victoria to have her own space. Shepard, deciding that she really only needed one desk, moved all her things to the downstairs desk, clearing out the upper part of her quarters to be a tiny room for Victoria. She'd added a partition to give them a little bit of privacy, and if they had to go through Victoria's space to reach the bathroom, well… it was better than nothing.

Definitely better than having the crib next to the bed and Garrus saying they couldn't have sex because it would wake the baby.

Garrus was finishing moving everything into place and locking it down while Shepard fed Victoria and rocked her to sleep. She held her for a long time, staring down into the baby's innocent, beautiful face.

Garrus came down the stairs and nodded, letting her know everything was finished. Shepard stood, moving carefully so as not to wake her, and carried Victoria to her new crib.

She stared down at her daughter, heart filled with love for this little creature who had only come into her life a few days ago.

She heard Garrus approaching behind her. "My god, Garrus," she said quietly. "Did you ever think…?" She trailed off, smiling up at him with soft eyes.

He squeezed her shoulder, nuzzling into her hair. "Yeah," he said. "I did."

…