"At the very least, I wish I won't be be wrong anymore"

She's speaking to me like a treasured friend...

"I'd never argued or fought like we did...nor cried in front of others. I was so nervous when we went out together, and it was the first time I was so unsure of what to do...I didn't even know it was okay to rely on someone. That's why it went wrong somewhere..."

The way she acts in front of me now is so different to the first day I met her. I look to the sunset, it makes it difficult to see her face. I can only hear the way her voice wavers like ripples through water.

"This kind of imitation-like relationship is wrong. It's definitely different to what you desired."

Her monologue ties things together like that, and when I realized that the end is coming, I finally look at her face when the sun dips below the window of the Service Club room.

There's no way to hold on to whatever hope I have, even if there's nothing completely gone.

"I'm okay, I'm...okay now. I was saved by you."

Such heartrending words.

To think that this is the way it ends- the way that the Ice Queen wounds me most, after everything she'd said.

"That's why, this match, and this relationship, let's end it with this."

She says with dignity, as if this is the correct course of action. I don't wish to subscribe to this like her, but what can I do? I don't deserve to say anything else.

This is because I have nothing left. Every reason I have to stay with her are all gone. Even with all I owe to her.

To say something else would be to insult this girl, who is prepared to fall on her sword, even though I pray she has a change of heart.

"Alright...It's my loss", I say, ready to remain on this sinking ship.

She tells me her final request...the nails in the coffin...

"Please grant Yuigahama's wish."

This is one rare time that I fake a smile. I either smile when I have no choice to, or never smile at all. This time, I think her act in my private eye should be rewarded with a smile rather than something spawned from the numb antipathy inside of me.

I accept this openly and leave for what I presume to be the last time.

I never hear her actual final words as I shut the door with as much grace as I can muster.

It was a long walk home from Sobu High School. It was still cold, even with the sun sheltering me.

Wish? What difference will it make? I thought after hearing Yukinoshita's proposal.

Yukinoshita's request was something I expected, but didn't hope for. Somehow, I knew that somewhere in that room, I had realized the mistake I made coming there. I kept my mouth moving, focused so firmly on her body language, her eyes, her words. It was unnerving the way she caught my words, while I struggled to keep my composure. It all made me wish I never ended up at the same school as her.

But still...I felt the urgency to say something, even if it brings us to the conclusion that makes the air to my back feel ten degrees colder. The conclusion that makes me tighten my jaw.

"Let's put an end to this".

It seemed like the relationship our routinely superficial triumvirate had created was running its course. But even now, I feel the strange inner command to not only obey, but carry out Yukinoshita's request to the best of my ability. Yui Yuigahama is an acquaintance. But soon, sometime during prom, she will be rewarded with a response to her wish. Her wish can be interpreted in two ways. But only one can actually remain, since my ties to Yukino were just recently, for lack of a better word, torpedoed.

Her wish... I continue to make my way to my house. I can see some lights on. I have the sinking feeling that Komachi will be able to tell that something happened. I need to put on my normal face, with the bored eyes and lethargic frown that would give poker professionals trouble.

Before I can forget, I take out my phone and run through all ten of my prized contacts. Mom and Dad. Komachi.

Ah, there it is. I tap on the delete button attached to Yukino Yukinoshita's contact profile. No need for that, really, unless every contact I have suddenly gets drafted and I need someone to bring me MAX Coffee to France. Wait- I can't even speak English. The only trace of Yukinoshita was erased on my phone, with not even a mention of her number in my call logs. With that business taken care of, I shuffled my shoes on the welcome mat. Komachi will probably want to know where I was.

"Avoiding my inner conflicts" I'll say.

"Onii-chan? Are you being earnestly introspective for once?"

"Of course not! April Fool's."

"Sheesh! I'd rather you not fool yourself at all."

That would probably happen. Although, while introspection wouldn't be a far cry, I find it less stressful to inspect other people instead. Though, I'm only right part of the time. Like with Yukinoshita. I don't think I could've figured her out if I had a schema of her psyche.

Although...I felt like I could have...eventually.

Stupid. Time travel is just not an option. And since when did figuring Yukinoshita out come before going into my nice, warm house.

If I keep this kind of thing up, I'll end up in court with stalking charges. I shudder. Funny I should think about that now, since I'd been called creepy half my life. One look at me, and I'd be found guilty. "He tried to lure me in with his grotesque dead fish eyes!". I would be found guilty, and when I finally get to prison, not even the other pedophiles will want anything to do to me.

I enter the house and am greeted with Komachi's sisterly care first and the gust of welcoming warmth second.

I move into the interior after taking off my day to day shoes, which are my only real pair of shoes, and leaving them next to Komachi's many. "How was your day!" she asks. I partly ignored her in that typically weary way.

"It was fine", I say, after a long yawn. Immediately after my reply, Komachi continued.

"Today, I talked to Kawasaki Taishi about seeing that movie this weekend! You know, the one with the alien going into that lawnmower. And then he said that his elder sister was looking for prom dresses today..."

"Wow...I see..." I say periodically, without any encouraging looks.

But then again, she clearly doesn't need any encouragement. She also made it easy to tell that the on-goings of my life were not quite as important as...well...something about aliens. I still half ignore her as I slump all my school items onto the couch. I would stop there to take a seat and relax, but I feel like I want to be alone. Maybe some music will take my mind off of Yukinoshita for awhile.

I ascend the stairs carefully, having tripped to escape the forays of inexplicable youth one too many times to count. My room is quiet. My mind is eased into some music as I let my mind avoid and dance around the failing smile...the forlorn eyes.

"Let's put an end to this..." I shake it off like I'm headbanging at a Slayer concert.

I focus on the lyrics until I'm dreaming them. My eyes are closing and I don't stop them.

My eyes break to find there are no lights to help me out of bed safely. I use my hand to glide along the edge and sit myself up. I missed the sunset. The stars are out, now fully in view after I open my rarely opened curtains. The tabletop light allows me to find my slippers, so that I can put my phone on the charger. It's already past midnight, but what's even more surprising is that I have a missed call.

Yui Yuigahama contacts me alot more often than I would like. I rub my eye and use it's natural partner to scan the screen. If I'm heading to the ending I think I'll end up at, then I should learn to get used to receiving her calls.

I grimace. I stand up again and begin pacing the room as the innocent humming penetrates the comforting silence.

"Yahello".

"Yo" I say, preparing to say every word with not a touch of care.

"Hikki...it's past twelve".

"Oh...um" I stutter, unsure of what to say. Should I apologize? Should I apologize for waking her up...for not answering her first call?

Wait. I'm not dating her. "What did you want?" I add.

"Oh! Well, I was wondering what you and Yukinon talked about today", she says with more energy than before.

I thought that I escaped that memory. I should've instinctively known that I would have to be the messenger. But maybe I don't have to be...

"That's a bit of a long story. Maybe you should talk to Yukinoshita about it", I say, trying to dodge the topic. I feel dizzy from pacing and sit down at the rim of my bed, hoping that Yuigahama accepts my reply.

"Hikki! I already tried!"

"And?"

"She said to talk to you! She said that you could tell me what you two had...", Yuigahama paused. "...Ah! Compromised! She said that you accepted her request".

Shards of the painful vision remained vividly clear. High definition memories were recalled before my tired eyes.

"We had an understanding", I say.

"Wha-what do you mean?" Yuigahama persists.

I tried to defuse this, but maybe the truth would be...genuine?

"She and I aren't...", I start. "She and I...", I hesitate.

Silence.

I exhale. Scratching my head, I have another go.

"She and I decided it would be logical to part ways" I say frankly.

Silence.

"She said she wanted me to..." I stop myself. This has to wait.

"What" Yuigahama says plainly.

"We can talk about that later. It has to do with her request", I attempt to explain.

"Fine..." Yuigahama says, clearly unsatisfied. "But Hikki, what really happened between you two?"

It was a long story. Thinking about it now makes me feel...frustrated and...helpless? Lost as I am, I give her my answer. "It was fine. We were both okay with it."

"But..But! You promised that you would always help her. You said...at the boardwalk ferris wheel..." she opens up, clearly referring to the ultimate outline I made that may have doomed our relationship, under the light of the dying sun. Or renewing night.

"She said she was fine", I say, the first bit that I didn't shortcut.

I remember it. The feeling of my compulsive excuses finally meeting the sword. The light of her eyes fading and my reason to stay with her, acquaintance or not, fading with it. Her figure still warming me, even from across the room, telling me that was the end. That our trust, our familiarity, had expired.

I realize that today, or should I say yesterday, would be harder to not think about than I originally thought. I wait for Yuigahama to end the call. She wastes little time, clearly tired, and probably upset that her ideal situation for us is no more.

I stand alone in the darkness of my room where I, Hachiman Hikigaya, met the midnight of my mind for the first time.