Author's Note: Pure wish-fulfillment.

Dumbledore-bashing.

Edit: My apologies. The first posting lacked the intended last lines. They are now included. Enjoy.

The door to Albus's office swung open, and he was surprised to find an angry, battered Severus striding through. He was more than surprised to find Severus's left arm crudely bandaged and gone below the elbow.

"Severus, what is-" he began, but was cut off by a low animal snarl.

"My duty is done, Dumbledore," Severus spat. "No thanks to you."

Albus's brow furrowed. "Done, Severus? But the boy is still alive and well-" Surreptitiously, he checked his instruments: yes, still alive and well- "-and so your duty is not yet-"

Severus withdrew a jar from his robes and slammed it on the table. "Done," he snarled.

Not a squeamish man, Albus still cringed at the contents of the thick-walled, rune-carved jar: a black mist swirled within, one that, from time to time, formed the shape of a humanoid face and hands - mindless, terrified, grasping, clawing, silently screaming. "Severus, what is this?" he asked, though part of him already suspected.

"'Keep an eye on Quirrell,'" Severus mimicked. "I did. I noted that whatever brat attacked me during that Quidditch game coincidentally managed to disrupt the true attacker. That placed them in the teachers' row. So who was it? Filius? Aurora? Rolanda? Oh, I know - Minerva, the deepest-cover Death Eater of all. I always knew no feline could be trusted."

"Severus..."

"Or, perhaps, it was the sneak-thief who'd been acting suspicious from the start of term, the one whom you told me merely to 'keep an eye upon'," Severus sneered. "Here's something you never seem to have understood, Dumbledore: my vow was to Lily's memory, not your service. I already swore myself to one master, thank you very much - and it cost me dearly." He moved the stump of his left arm, though not so much for emphasis as in imitation of an extremely rude gesture. "My duty took precedence over any order you gave me. Quirrell moved openly - or, I should say, not covertly enough - against Lily's son. I took action."

"And what of poor Quirinus?" Albus asked, all too aware he already knew the answer.

"It was not I who killed him," Severus drawled, surprising him. "He died when the back of his head sloughed off. Unfortunate. Fortunately, I captured and disposed of the main threat anyway." He gestured to the jar. "Consider that Quirrell's killer. The man would not have survived another year. That merely hastened the process by fleeing the host."

Albus reached for the container, but Severus made a rapid movement; an instant later, the jar vanished in a blue flash. "Where did it go?" Albus asked tightly, no longer holding to his customary good cheer.

"I don't know," Severus said, smiling. "I'm afraid I removed the location from my mind... I do remember ruling out the Marianas Trench, due to unpredictable magical effects at the greatest depths, however. Oh, and I regretfully declined to use a volcano, despite the poetic imagery, lest his spectral form prove immune to high temperatures. Does that help, Dumbledore?"

"That," Albus said stiffly, "is of no use whatsoever in determining its location."

"Splendid - now you know how anyone else feels trying to obtain useful information from you -"

"Severus, this is no laughing matter. You know very well that Lord Voldemort's followers will stop at nothing to find their master and-"

Severus examined the fingernails of his remaining hand. They were rather ill-groomed. Albus, who always kept his flawlessly manicured, disapproved. "You mean - as they have been for the past ten years?"

"The Lestranges and their allies did," Albus pointed out. Severus snorted.

"A hardened band of fanatics. None have arisen since. Quirrell himself - well, he did tell the truth about having encountered something in a dark forest in Albania. He merely lied about it being vampires. Oh, and the part where he escaped." Severus's mouth twisted in a humorless smile. "I am certain I put what remained of the Dark Lord somewhere no wanderers would find him. Little good - or ill - it would do them if they did. He would have difficulty threatening a hamster."

"Severus," said Albus, folding his hands and staring at Severus intensely, "what, precisely, did you do?"

Severus laughed. Long, loud, and bitter. "Only what he did to many others. Under any other circumstances, his own strength and skill would have protected him. But he was weak, and he was riding a weak man." He gestured with the stump of his arm. "Oh, he fought. Oh, it cost me. But I won. And I ensured he would never be a threat again."

Albus sighed. "Perhaps a bit of mercy..."

"Mercy?" Severus demanded, suddenly roused to anger. "As he showed others? As he showed Lily? As he would have shown her son, the moment he had arranged for all the boy's protectors to be distracted or else dead? I had a duty. I fulfilled it. And now, I take my leave."

Albus shook his head. "But, Severus..." he said, attempting to salvage the situation. While Tom's... decimation... had been noteworthy, he did not understand the full prophecy... "Think. The boy will have more foes than Lord Voldemort - his followers may not seek their own master, but many are ambitious in their own right. Lucius Malfoy, in particular-"

Severus gave a short, sharp laugh. "Oh, I know. And I came across many interesting pieces of information while tearing apart the Dark Lord's mind - he had quite the interest in collecting blackmail on his servants, seemed he didn't trust us to keep to our vows alone... Well, I spent the time between finishing the job and coming to you occupied in writing to my old comrades. Ah - the Ministry as well. It seems your Order had a rat. His policy of hiding in plain sight worked very well for many years, I must say. Pity its efficacy ended tonight. Pity also that the one he'll exonerate deserves Azkaban - but then, the same can be said of many of my old comrades.

"The most vile ones will find the packages explode upon delivery. The ones who are more tolerable, well... I explained to them that, if anything happens to Harry Potter, information shall be publicly and internationally released that will sever the pillars upon which this rotten country stands. I don't care whether it's due to the boy's own foolishness or not. As goes Harry Potter, so goes Britain. Am I clear, Dumbledore?"

Albus resisted the urge to go gray in the face. The boy had to die. He... "Severus, please," he whispered, hand dropping to graze the Elder Wand. "You can't risk the country for one-"

"Use proper English, Dumbledore. 'Shouldn't', not 'can't'," Severus drawled. "I obviously can, since I am." The contempt dropped away in favor of fury. "Oh, by the way - Deadman's switch. Silencing me won't work, quite the opposite. You were right, you know."

"I - Excuse me?"

"Lily and Potter put their trust in the wrong person, rather as I did," Severus said. "Trusting myself, however, seems to have proven rather satisfactory. Oh, and Dumbledore, one last thing..." he added, reaching into his pocket. "My family situation was rather stressful, as you know. As a result, my mother went into premature labor and delivered me just over a month early."

Albus stared blankly, wondering at the relevance.

"Which is to say," he said, withdrawing a lily, "I was born as the seventh month dies."

The flower glowed blue and, an instant later, Severus vanished in a flare of azure light. Albus stared at the spot where he had been.

Then, slowly, he bent forward and cradled his head in his hands.

Author's Note: I could have put in a sequence in which Dumbledore attempts to reassert control over his puppet by force, is beaten on the draw, and lectured while hog-tied on the floor... but I view ownership of the Wand of Destiny as equivalent to the Defense professorship, except it doesn't end your misery after a year. Thus I left Dumbledore stuck with the thing.

Debated whether to have Snape add "Not just the Wizarding side, either." after "As goes Harry Potter, so goes Britain.", but it seemed gratuitous. It's also completely off-beat because since when have wizards cared about Muggles? (In the "ruining their livelihoods" sense, not the "killing them" sense. Remember, even one of the heroes brags about Confounding a Muggle for fun and profit, and another bravely sacrifices everything by subjecting her parents to psychogenic fugue... mind you, she said nothing about having fixed their passports accordingly, so the poor Grangers are more likely to end up as psychiatric case studies than successful emigrants...)