Author's note: I work on this fic at least three to four times a week, I promise. This fic is just tricky so sometimes I'm only able to write a couple hundred words before I'm already mentally exhausted.

Dissembled

You won't listen.

There was no point in trying to make her hear him. And he was just so tired now.

…

Maddie checked the time on her phone. Thirty minutes to midnight.

She bounced her leg but managed to stop herself from doing it a second time as she returned her attention to the movie she was watching with Jack in their living room. A complete waste of time. Danny was still gone, and watching this movie wasn't going to help find him.

But they had spent the whole day once again trying to find Danny and once again turned up empty. And now it was late and no one was available or willing to help them anymore. There was nothing else they could do until the next day.

But she ached to do something. So much frustration, so much confusion. The longing rippled under her skin, begging for a release.

She wanted to make Phantom feel worse than she did so, so bad.

She checked the time on her phone again. Only one minute had passed. When was this movie going to be over? When was Jack going to get up from the couch and go to bed so she could finally head over to the lab?

She stared at the screen for some time and pretended to watch with glazed eyes. She checked the time again, crossed her legs, clasped her shaking hands in her lap.

Jack placed his arm around her and pulled her closer. Maddie leaned against him and sighed deeply, tried to enjoy the embrace. Tried to relax.

She recrossed her legs so that the right was on top this time.

"What's on your mind, Mads?" asked Jack gently.

Maddie shook her head and placed her shaking hands between her thighs.

Jack picked up the remote and lowered the volume of the TV. "Really. It's okay. We can talk about Danny if you want."

"No. We can keep watching. Turn it back up."

"But you seem restless. I only suggested we watch a movie just to get a short break from everything, but we don't have to."

A short break from everything. Maddie knew Jack meant well, but why should they get a break if Danny couldn't get one from whatever trouble he was in? And at this point, she was sure he was in trouble. Surely he would've returned home by now if he had a choice. Right? He wouldn't do this to her willingly, right? Surely?

Maddie sighed and straightened so that she was no longer resting against him. "I don't know. I guess I'm just too distracted to pay attention to a movie."

Jack nodded. "Yeah. To tell you the truth, I don't really know what's going on in this movie. I've just been enjoying sitting here with you."

He rubbed her arm. Maddie gave him a small smile.

"It has been nice, you're right." Maddie glanced up the stairs. "I wish Jazz could've joined us."

Jack also looked at the stairs. "I haven't really talked to her much this past week."

"I haven't either. We've both just been so busy with paperwork and the police and putting up flyers around the town."

"She's either at school, in her room, or out with Sam and Tucker. I didn't even know she was that close to them."

"I don't think they are that close. I think they all just really miss Danny."

Tears sprang in Maddie's eyes. An audible sob caught in her throat.

Jack wrapped both of his arms around her. "I miss him, too."

They stayed quiet for a moment. Maddie buried herself against Jack's chest.

She loved how large he was, the way he could completely surround her, blanket her from all sides, keep her secure and safe.

Just like how Phantom's head was completely locked up in the lab—

She exhaled sharply and pulled herself out of Jack's hold. She knew where this could lead. She needed to separate from Jack, get him to go to bed so that she could leave for the lab.

"I think I should talk to Jazz," said Maddie. "See what she thinks about all this, how it's affecting her. She's been a little different since Danny went missing."

"Yeah." Jack picked up the remote. "I think you're right. We should talk to her."

He aimed the remote at the TV, but Maddie stopped him from switching it off.

"Do you mind if I just talk to her alone?" asked Maddie. "I just want this conversation to be a mother-daughter thing."

"Well, I'd like to hear what she has to say, too."

"I know, but I think maybe it'd be easier on her if it was just me." She gestured to the TV. "You could finish up the movie and then head to bed."

Jack sighed. "I don't need to finish this." He aimed the remote again and turned the TV off. "I'll just go to bed. No point staying up."

He stood and stretched. Maddie also stood.

"Or maybe I'll just wait for you to join me in our room," he said with a smile. "Maybe I'll just read something until you finish talking to Jazz."

Oh, she knew exactly what he wanted.

But she couldn't. Not when Phantom was waiting for her.

"No, no, go ahead and sleep," said Maddie. "You don't need to wait for me."

"But I want to."

He ran his hand down the length of her arm. Maddie shivered.

"Okay," said Maddie. "But if you get tired, feel free to sleep, really."

Jack nodded and moved in closer to her. Maddie tilted her face up so she could maintain eye contact.

He brought his mouth to hers, bending over in that adorable way he always had to. Maddie's entire body relaxed as she lapped up his familiar taste.

His skin felt so warm.

Not like Phantom's skin, which was always so cold—

Phantom—

She couldn't do this now or else she might never leave and see Phantom—

And she needed to see Phantom, needed to do so many things to him, needed to do everything to him to make up for the nothing of Danny being gone—

She pulled back and patted Jack's cheek. "Good night, dear."

She quickly turned away so she wouldn't see his resulting expression. Hopefully he wasn't disappointed. Hopefully he wasn't looking at her with longing and sadness as she made her way out of the living room and up the stairs.

She stood outside Jazz's door for a moment. She could hear Jazz speaking on the other side in a low voice, and it did not sound like she'd be hanging up the phone call soon.

Maddie rapped on the door a couple times. "Jazz? Can I come in?"

"Uh, yeah, Mom, just a second," Jazz called.

Maddie listened to her hurriedly whisper something. Jazz then opened the door and gave Maddie a smile. She was dressed in pajamas with her hair braided.

"Hey, what do you need?" asked Jazz.

"I just want to talk," said Maddie. "So much has been going on, and I want to check in with you."

"Oh, well, I'm fine, Mom. You don't need to worry about me."

"Oh, but I do. I'm your mother."

Jazz smiled. "Yeah. You are." She gestured for Maddie to come in. "Sorry, my room is kind of a mess. I haven't really had a chance to clean it lately."

"It's fine." Maddie took a seat on Jazz's unmade bed. "I haven't been keeping the house as clean as I should lately either."

Jazz sat in her desk chair and looked down at her lap.

"So who were you talking to on the phone?" asked Maddie.

Jazz looked up. "Hmm?"

"Before I came in. I heard you talking to someone."

"Oh! Uh… Just Tucker. And Sam."

"About what?"

Jazz wrung her hands. "Um… Well, Danny." She paused. "We're all so worried about him."

"Do you talk to them often about Danny?"

"Yeah. I mean, they're the only other kids who really knew him, you know? Even though we're not exactly friends, they're the only people I can talk about him with."

"Sweetie, you know you can talk to me and Dad about him, right?"

"Oh, yes, of course I know that!" Jazz put a hand to her chest. "But you two have been so busy—which I'm not faulting you for, of course, you've been trying to find Danny—and Sam and Tucker just need someone to talk to as well, you know?"

"So you're being like a therapist to them, huh?"

"I guess maybe a little. It's not like they can just talk to their parents about him. The Mansons, the Foleys, they don't really know him in the same way we all do."

Maddie's lips pursed as she remembered Sam's mother accusing her son of being a lowlife drug addict. Never mind that she was right—well, about the drugs, not the lowlife part—that woman could never understand anything about her boy's true character.

"No," said Maddie. "You're right, they don't."

Maddie stewed for another moment. Jazz pulled her braid over her shoulder and ran her fingers down its length.

"So." Maddie cleared her throat. "What kind of things do you talk about? With Sam and Tucker, I mean. About Danny."

"Oh, you know. Just how we're all dealing with it and any thoughts or new clues about maybe where he is."

Maddie shifted and leaned forward. "Really? And do any of you have any ideas about where he might be?"

"Ah, well—"

"Because the police haven't yet spoken to Sam and Tucker, and Sam's mother in particular is very adamant that they leave Sam out of the investigation entirely."

"Right, yeah—"

"And I keep telling them they really need to interrogate Sam and Tucker immediately, but they're being very stubborn about it for some reason. And they won't let me talk to them myself. But maybe I could bypass all that and just get answers from you."

"Oh." Jazz rubbed her upper arm. "I can't really help all that much. Sorry. We… We don't have any ideas."

"But you said you've been talking about clues?"

"We have, but they haven't really helped. We just have no idea where he could've gone."

Jazz was no longer making eye contact. Maddie did not speak for some time, hoping the prolonged silence would get Jazz to say more.

But Jazz remained quiet.

"I guess we're all just bewildered," said Maddie softly. "This is just so unlike him that none of us can even imagine where he went."

Jazz tugged at her earlobe. "I just can't believe he isn't back yet. It… It makes me worried that…" Her focus became distant.

"Worried that what, Jazz?" Maddie gently prompted.

"I don't know." Jazz shrugged, her voice breaking. "Just—what if he's in trouble? What if he didn't mean to get far when he ran off? What if he just wanted to cool down for a bit before returning home? And the only reason he isn't home is because—" Jazz's words cut off with a harsh gasp, throttled.

"Because he can't come home?" finished Maddie tentatively. "Because something or someone is preventing him from coming home?"

Jazz nodded. "Yeah. That. Or—or—"

"He can't come home because he's dead?"

Jazz nodded again.

"I am terrified of all those possibilities," said Maddie.

The two were quiet for some time.

"I can't believe I let this happen." Maddie dug her fingers into the comforter on Jazz's bed. "I noticed changes in Danny's behavior since he started high school, and I didn't do anything about it."

"Oh, Mom—"

"I just figured it was normal adolescence. You know, high school is hard for everyone. And I just thought he'd learn to get through it like all teenagers do. I didn't think he'd start turning to painkillers and stealing narcotics."

"Mom—"

"But I maybe should've guessed it could happen. Jack used to be an alcoholic. You were maybe too young to remember when he gave up drinking, but I mean, Danny has substance abuse tendencies in his blood."

"Mom, I didn't know he was using narcotics either," said Jazz. "He was really good at hiding it."

"But I definitely knew he wasn't doing well in school. That he didn't have many friends. That he had no interest in extracurricular activities. He didn't even want to join the school's astronomy club!" Maddie covered her face. "I knew he was depressed and anxious and struggling, but I didn't try to figure out why. I just kept hoping it was typical teenage depression and that he'd grow out of it."

"Depression is never normal at any age," said Jazz softly.

"I was just so busy with our research, with seeing a ghost for the first time and then a whole bunch more after that. Our work was taking off, and we were getting so many e-mails and calls and requests for appearances and meetings every day. And I—" Maddie moaned. "I guess I just kept convincing myself he was fine so that I could concentrate on my work without feeling guilty."

Maddie lowered her head.

"If I had just paid more attention to him. If I had just tried to help him earlier. Maybe he'd still be here."

Jazz raised her hands. "You know, I wish I had done things differently with him, too. But beating ourselves up over it isn't going to help anything. I think the best we can do now is focus on finding him. And when he's back, we can work on improving things, work on actually helping him. And all of us. Helping our whole family just...be a family again."

Maddie's stomach knotted. She had come in here to check on Jazz, make sure she was okay, provide emotional support. But instead, her daughter was actually doing the comforting and being the voice of reason.

Jazz had grown up so fast. Definitely no longer her little girl.

Maddie smiled fondly. "You really are so smart."

Jazz also smiled, but shyly.

"So… You really have no idea or clues that might help us?" asked Maddie. "Anything at all you can think of?"

"Nothing that we haven't already ruled out. I would've thought he'd run off to Tucker's house or maybe Sam's, but obviously he's not with either of them. Are there any ideas you or Dad or the police have that I don't know about?"

"We're stumped, too. The police are just convinced he'll come back on his own eventually."

"I really hope so," said Jazz softly.

"Yeah," said Maddie just as softly. "Me too." She stood. "I suppose I should let you get to bed. It's late. We all have another very long day tomorrow."

She placed her hands on Jazz's shoulders and kissed the top of her head before walking toward the door.

"Wait, um… There is one thing I'm wondering," said Jazz.

Maddie turned around and waited.

"Have you heard about Danny Phantom lately?"

Maddie kept her jaw from slacking.

"I just haven't heard about him on the news in a while." Jazz pulled on the tip of her finger. "Have you seen him at all? Or heard about where he might be?"

Of course Maddie had seen him. She knew exactly where he was, strapped down to a table with his head locked in a vice.

"Why are you asking about him?" Maddie tried to keep her tone casual and light. Jazz didn't suspect anything, did she? She couldn't possibly know, could she? No, Maddie had been so careful; no one knew she was keeping Phantom hidden as her personal prisoner.

"Oh, well, it's just—" Jazz shrugged. "I was just curious, that's all. You being a ghost hunter and all, I thought maybe you would've seen him."

Maddie's mind continued to click over all the reasons why Jazz would be asking about him. It wouldn't make sense unless she knew. Oh, God, she knew, she—

Wait.

Maddie folded her arms and smirked. "Oh, that's right. I forgot that you have a crush on Phantom."

Jazz's face flushed. "No, I don't! Mom!"

"Then why are you asking me about him?"

"Because—I just—I don't know, I was just wondering!"

Maddie laughed. "It's okay, sweetie. You can wonder about him all you want if it makes you a little happier thinking about those pretty green eyes and that flowing white hair—"

"Mom! Oh, my God, stop!" shrieked Jazz, pulling on her braids.

Maddie chortled and waved a dismissive hand. "Look, I'm just saying." She moved close to Jazz again and stroked her cheek. "If thinking about Phantom gets your mind off of Danny for a bit, there's no harm in that, okay?"

She had to say that. She had been doing the exact same thing, after all.

"We should try not to be stressed and fearful all the time," continued Maddie. "Our brains need a break, a way to vent so they can stay their sharpest."

And hers was begging to hurry and vent already, to take everything out on Phantom. It was time to go, time to see him, time to think about only him and get her mind off of Danny.

Maddie kissed Jazz's head again and left the room. She walked down the hall, finally allowing herself to push all thoughts of Danny aside for now, her break from the trials and misery of this exhausting search for him.

She really couldn't blame Jazz for wondering about Phantom. He was so fascinating, such an enjoyable mystery. And he was waiting for Maddie to return, waiting for her to continue exploring him. Well, his wait would soon be over. She already had so many plans for him, so many questions from the night before. Like how the hell was his arm unharmed by boiling ectoplasm? What did it mean? It could only mean his ectoplasmic properties were different from that of normal ghosts, so different that normal ectoplasm wasn't enough to interact with his skin. But why, how?

She had to figure it out. But she also needed to remember to be a scientist first. The game she played with him last night was thrilling and exciting but also so dangerous. In her efforts to punish him for being uncooperative, she sometimes couldn't stop herself from going too far.

Really, what was she thinking when she tried to boil his arms? What if it had worked and she destroyed them, then what? What if it had melted the skin right off? What if they didn't heal correctly just like his slashed eye? What if they didn't heal at all and had to be amputated? She still had plans to test his powers, his abilities, things he possibly couldn't do with damaged arms.

She couldn't destroy him too soon. She needed him in good condition for as long as possible so she could actually run all of her devised experiments on him. She'd be devastated if she lost him too soon after so many months of pursuing him.

She needed to maintain better control of her anger around him no matter how much he insisted on pushing her. No matter what, he was the specimen. He could mouth off all he wanted, act as smug and cocky as he dared, but that could never change that he was the one strapped to the table beneath her.

Right. Time to be a scientist.

She had to see him now.

Maddie approached her bedroom door and placed her hand on the door knob.

Please let Jack be asleep, please let him be asleep, please, please—

She gently twisted the knob and softly pushed the door open, relieved that it was dark inside the room. Good, Jack decided not to stay up for her after all. He was asleep, and nothing could ever wake him when he was asleep, one of her favorite things about him, especially now.

She turned on her phone's flashlight and moved to the closet. She picked out a clean suit and began unzipping the suit she was currently wearing.

"Maddie?" Jack called.

Maddie froze, her zipper already halfway down her chest. She turned around, still holding the clean suit on its hanger. "Oh, Jack. You're still awake? I thought you were asleep."

Jack's lamp on his nightstand switched on. Jack sat up in bed under the covers. "I said I'd stay up for you."

"Oh, yeah, I know, but the lights were off, so I thought—"

"Are you glad I'm still awake?"

"I—" Maddie forced a smile. "Yes, of course I'm glad, Jack."

Jack also smiled and patted her side of the bed. "Wanna join me?"

Maddie glanced at the suit on its hanger. "Oh, well, I—"

"Or were you planning on going out again?"

Maddie stiffened. "I—I wasn't, no, I was just—"

"It's okay," said Jack kindly. "I know you've been going out every night, and if you think you need to, then you should."

Maddie lowered the suit in her hand. "Really?"

"Of course. And if you let me, I'll be happy to join you."

"Join me?"

"Yes. I mean, I know what you're doing, and I want to be there to help however I can."

Maddie's gut coiled and dropped. He knew? What—how—had she been careless? Had she left clues? Had he followed her one night? How was this possible?

She gulped in air and tried to speak, her words weak and breathy. "Jack, I can explain—"

"There's nothing to explain. I get it."

Maddie's throat clamped shut.

"You're going out to look for Danny some more," said Jack. "I get that. Why wouldn't I get that?"

Maddie's throat refused to open even in her relief. Yes, of course, a perfect excuse: She wasn't content with searching for Danny during only the day, had to devote nights to him as well.

"Yes," Maddie finally managed to gasp out before strengthening her voice. "I've been going out to look for Danny at night, just driving around the town. Sometimes to the neighboring towns."

"Why didn't you want me to know that, Maddie?"

"Well, I—I didn't want to make you lose any sleep. And I thought maybe you'd try to stop me, and I couldn't—I mean, I just had to keep trying because the police sure aren't."

Maddie fingered the suit on the hanger.

"I have to keep trying," she murmured.

Jack got out of bed. "I can go with you, Maddie."

He walked toward her. Maddie's muscles seized and jumped.

"No!" she shouted.

Jack stopped.

"I mean, um…" Maddie caught her breath and swallowed. "It's just… It's therapeutic for me, you know? Driving by myself around the town. All day long, I'm talking to people—interviewing, trying to get the damn police to actually do something—and it's just nice to be alone for a while, looking for any sign of him."

Maddie turned away from him. Jack stayed still a moment longer before approaching her. She turned back to him and looked up into his sad eyes. He gently pulled the suit out of her hand and hung it back up in the closet.

"Wha—wait—" stammered Maddie.

She reached back for the suit, but Jack stopped her with a strong embrace. Maddie stood in his arms, did not move.

"Jack, I—"

"Stay with me."

Jack's hold on her tightened, his face nuzzled into her hair. Maddie's gaze darted to the ceiling.

"I don't want you to go," murmured Jack, his words muffled. "I need you. I miss you."

"Jack—"

"You've been gone so much this past week."

"I know, but only because—"

"I know. I know we need to find Danny. But we still need each other too. More than ever now."

Tears pushed at Maddie's eyes. "I need to go out, Jack. Really, please—"

"Then let me go with you."

"No—"

"Why not?" Jack released his hold and held her out at arm's length, his hands on her shoulders. "Why won't you let me join you? He's my son, too. If that's what you want to do right now, then I want to be there with you."

"But—"

"Please. I want to be with you. Let me be with you at least for tonight."

A tear streamed down Maddie's face. She wanted to be with him, wanted to love her husband tonight.

But Phantom, Phantom, Phantom—

She couldn't let Jack join her in going out, not without actually searching for Danny in order to hide what she had really been doing every night. And she needed her nightly break from Danny, needed to vent and take everything out on Phantom.

She sighed and grasped Jack's hands that were on her shoulders, slipping them off and holding them in her own.

She needed a break from Danny. But it seemed that tonight, she was going to get it from her husband. Not Phantom.

And that was...okay. For one night.

She had been missing her husband too, after all.

Maddie led him to the bed. Jack climbed under the covers on his side while Maddie slipped out of her jumpsuit and joined him.

Jack switched off his bedside lamp. Maddie could see only faint traces of his face in the dim moonlight shining through the cracks in the blinds.

He cupped her face with his large hand. Maddie nestled into it with a sigh.

"Maddie?"

She hummed a response.

"Maddie, it… It is Danny that you go out to look for every night, right?"

Maddie kept her face pressed to his hand, hoping he couldn't make out her strained expression in the dark.

She knew what he meant. He had accused her before of obsessing over Phantom, confronted her about how irrationally committed she was to finding him.

Many nights, Maddie had chosen to go out to search for Phantom instead of sleeping beside her husband in bed.

And he knew that.

She could feel more tears filling her eyes. She briefly buried her face against her pillow to wipe them away.

She couldn't tell Jack about Phantom now, not after how far she had gotten with Phantom on her own. Jack would wonder why she had been keeping Phantom secret from him. He would take it the wrong way. He would accuse her of doing inappropriate things with Phantom because why else would she want to keep him secret?

He would never understand no matter how she tried to explain it.

But she also knew she couldn't continue this deception with her husband forever. The point of studying Phantom was to use him for her research, to share her findings with the world.

Jack was going to have to know one day.

Maddie kissed Jack's hand and moved closer to him, pressing her chest against his.

She would tell him. One day. When Danny was back, because surely they would find him soon. She would tell him as soon as they found Danny. Absolutely.

Just...not now.

For now, Phantom had to be her secret and only hers. Her escape from this terrible world where Danny currently didn't exist.

But once Danny was back, everything would be wonderful and happy again.