Okay, so this song is longer than Cruella de Vil's (similar story that can be seen as a companion but you don't have to read it to understand this one-shot) which made it a little harder to cut it up into sections.

Disclaimer: I don't own Descendants or the song written by Kevin Quinn & Randy Petersen and sung by Jonathan Freeman.


I must admit,

Your parlor tricks are amusing

I bet you've got a bunny

Under your hat!


Jafar had never approved of the stuff Jay brought him. It didn't matter how great it was, how expensive, how magical it once was. It was never good enough for the ex-Vizir.

Nothing would ever be good enough. Not compared to Jafar. After all, the man had once stolen a lamp, a kingdom, even a princess.

With the help of a Genie of course. The Genie to be exact. Hagar became the greatest wizard of all, the Sultan, and he even became a Genie himself for a short period of time.

It didn't matter that there was no magic, no talking birds, no street rat to do the dirty work for him, nothing Jay could do would ever make his father proud of him.


Now here's your chance

To get the best of me,

Hope your hand is hot!

C'mon, clown,

Let's see what you've got!


The young boy had been taught from an early age the art of thieving and scamming. He learned from the best of the best villains on the Isle of the Lost.

Jafar (duh)

Maleficent (the most Wicked of them all)

Cruella De Vil (formerly one of the best)

The Evil Queen (better than Cruella)

Each and every day Jay worked hard on stealing the best things he could find. Heck, he even found a few lamps if he was lucky. They weren't magical, or if they were the Barrier kept the Genies from appearing. But it was all worth it for Jafar's brief moments of attention.


You try to slam me

With your hardest stuff

But your double whammy

Isn't up to snuff


Those moments were far too short for Jay's taste. Mostly because of the lectures that followed about how at Jafar's age he'd stolen this or that, accomplished some deed or another and earned a title through trickery and deceit.

It made Jay want to scream in frustration. That never did any good though. All that happened was Jay had to live on the streets for a few days before coming back to that cramped apartment where the closest thing to a bed was an old carpet.

The irony always made Jay smile, no matter how bad his day was. Besides, he always had his friends. Although he never referred to them like that. Friends didn't really exist on the Isle.


I'll set the record straight

You're simply out of date

You're only second rate!

You think your cat's a meanie,

But your tiger's tame

You've got a lot to learn

About the genie game


Mal, Evie, and Carlos were good for Jay. Mal was a little cold and antisocial unless she wanted something, but with a mother like hers, no one could blame the purple-haired girl. She helped him refine his skills, mostly the ones where he had to distract his victims while robbing them blind.

Evie helped design clothes that him warm in the cold season with plenty of pockets to fill with loot. She was the smartest of the bunch and was always thinking ahead, especially when it came to escape plans in case he accidentally pickpocketed someone who knew a thing or two about self-defense.

And Carlos...that boy was something else. He wasn't exactly villain-material, at least, not until Jay gave him some street smarts. And while he'd never let the son of Cruella find out, Jay may have told the rougher V-kids to cut him some slack.

Which was Villain slang for leave him alone or you're dead meat. Jay took of care of others even if his father never took care of him. Even if he wasn't first rate.


So for your education,

I'll reiterate

You're only second rate!

Men cower at the power

In my pinky

My thumb is number one

On every list


No one ever doubted Jafar's power. He had to be one of the most dedicated villains ever. He spent years kissing up to the Sultan, putting up with his spoiled daughter, trying to find the Cave of Wonders, then find the diamond in the rough.

He almost won too. Except for the fact that the darn street urchin tricked him into becoming a genie. Jay always wondered if his dad would have to go back into a lamp should the Barrier ever come down. And whether or not Jay would have genie powers too.

It gave him a little bit of comfort to think that maybe one day he'd be the one with power instead of his father. If Jafar had to go into his lamp, which was in the Museum located in Auradon, then Jay would be in control for once.


But if you're not convinced

That I'm invincible,

Put me to the test!

I'd love to lay this rivalry to rest!

Go ahead and zap me

With the big surprise

Snap me in a trap,

Cut me down to size

I'll make a big escape

It's just a piece of cake

You're only second rate!


Whether Jay would actually free his father was something the boy had grappled with ever since these thoughts first entered his head.

Mostly because Jay didn't have a lamp of his own. Even if he had Genie-like powers, he didn't have the bonds or the lamp that went with it.

If he didn't, he could just use his father's lamp to control Jafar and get powers. But he'd be smart about it. Jay would wish for the powers without the enslavement that came with it.

It may have been wrong to dream about things like that, but no one could blame Jay. Or any other villain kid in similar positions. They were just doing what they were taught to do: do whatever it takes to become powerful and evil. Even if it meant hurting others.


You know, your hocus-pocus

Isn't tough enough

And your mumbo-jumbo

Doesn't measure up

Let me pontificate

Upon your sorry state

You're only second rate!

Zaba-caba-dabra!

Granny's gonna grab ya!

Alakazam-da-mus


Not his friends though. Never his friends. Well, acquaintances. Like we said earlier, friends don't exist on the Isle.

However, they were Jay's partners in crime. Literally.

They didn't have to say it to know that they would always look out for one another. Family wasn't really a thing either, but if it was, then that's what Mal, Evie, Carlos, and Jay were.

The four future-villains never compared themselves to each other. They got enough of that at home with their own parents. Jay always felt a little guilty for being happy that he didn't have Maleficent as his mother. Sure, his dad was horrible (hence this fanfic), but he knew it was nothing compared to what Mal had to endure.


And this thing's bigger than the both of us!

So spare me your tremendous scare!

You look horrendous in your underwear!

And I can hardly wait

To discombobulate


But sometimes it sure did feel that way. Jafar loved to one-up his son. He'd brag to Jay about a find of his, which nine times out of ten were items Maleficent or the Evil Queen had given him because they were doing spring cleaning.

His store was basically filled with items Jay or Jafar had stolen and then charged the original owners twice the price they were worth to get them back.

There were times when the customers yelled at Jafar and demanded to get their stuff back for free. When that happened, he'd push Jay in front of him to take the heat while he dealt with the "nice" customers.

Maleficent never did that.


I'll send ya back and packing

In a shipping crate

You'll make a better living

With a spinning plate

You're only second rate!


Leaving for Auradon taught Jay a valuable lesson. If it meant being on top, his dad would do anything. Including sending his son away from the only home his boy had ever known.

It also taught Jay that there was more to life than what he'd learned on the Isle. People in Auradon didn't just survive; they thrived. Parents loved their kids there. Not everyone was out to get you (except for Chad and Audrey but they changed. A little).

And no one there ever called second anything. In fact, they thought he was better than his dad because he chose to be good. There was no greater feeling in the world than knowing that Jay was worth something to people, not just second rate.


AN: Hope you guys enjoyed. Two more, one for Evie's mom and one for Mal's. Might be a week or two before I post them though.

- Kitkat Out!