13

It had been a ridiculous struggle to track Eiji down. It wouldn't have been – if he hadn't wanted it to be a surprise. But he had – it had to be a surprise so that he could see Eiji's face when he opened the door.

Ibe had given him the address, but he hadn't quite realised how big Izumo was. He hadn't even realised it wasn't on the main part of Japan – not the main part – on Honshu.

This was going to be difficult. He knew nothing about Japan and he hated that. He could barely get by – he hardly knew any Japanese and he didn't want to just be saying 'sayonara' to everyone. It didn't help that everyone stared at him – the only person with blonde hair and pale skin for miles.

But he had found it. With a lot of pointing at his phone and vague gestures. Now he was standing in front of Eiji's house. Or, what he very much hoped was Eiji's house – because he had taken a plane and two buses and had been walking for the last hour. The stab wound in his stomach was starting to ache.

He took a breath. He was Ash Lynx. He could do this. He was going to sweep Eiji off of his feet.

Ash rung the doorbell and tried to look casual. As casual as a clueless foreigner could look. He stuck his hands in his pockets, then crossed his arms, then placed them on his waist. He was running his hand through his hair when the door suddenly opened. A small, Japanese lady was staring at him as though he was an alien.

"Hey - I'm - A-" he stopped himself. Took a breath. "I'm Eiji's friend, from New York."

Eiji had been sat at his desk when he had heard the voice drift up from the door. It had only taken one word for his heart to leap into his mouth.

"Hey -" Eiji didn't even hear the rest of it. Ash. That was Ash. Without a doubt.

He was tumbling down the stairs, his feet slipping on each step so that he was almost falling down them instead. Ash. Ash was here. Ash, Ash, Ash.

His mother was standing at the door, trying to close it on this strange foreigner towering over her. Eiji caught it, his socks slipping on the floor.

"Sorry - I don't understand English-" he heard his mother talking, but he couldn't take anything in, because he was pulling the door open and there he was. There was Ash. Looking rumpled with a huge backpack. But Ash. Ash with glowing blonde hair and bright green eyes and he was glowing. He was grinning at Eiji in a way he had never seen Ash grin. A huge, wide genuine grin. A grin that made him look like an eighteen year old boy again.

He was an angel. He looked like an angel. A beautiful angel and he had come for Eiji.

"Ash!" it came out as more of a gasp. He couldn't believe it.

"Eiji!" Ash was yelling and suddenly Eiji was pressed against him. Ash's hands were on his waist, pulling them together. Then they were on his cheeks and Ash was kissing him like they had never kissed before. Like Eiji was water and he was a drowning man, his hands finding every part of Eiji to pull towards him.

And as much as he loved it and as much as Ash's touch was fire and his mouth was heaven, he had a growing awareness that another boy's tongue was in his mouth whilst his mother was right there. He untangled himself gently, grinning so widely that his face hurt. His fingers were still tangled in Ash's half-heartedly attempting to peel him off of him.

"Mum, this is - he's my friend from New York." His mother was staring at him like he was a stranger. He knew his face was as red as a tomato. "This is As - Aslan Jade Callenreese."

"Aslan?" his mother repeated. She stared between Eiji and Ash as though this American had possessed him.

And – oh, Ash had. Ash had been at the edges of Eiji's mind constantly.

"Mm!" his eyes couldn't stay on her – they had to go back to Ash. Ash whose cheeks were flushed. "I didn't - you're here!"

"Of course I am." Ash's fingers untangled from Eiji's, finding their way back to Eiji's waist and pulling him back towards him. He couldn't help but laugh, ducking his head so that he didn't have to look at those emerald eyes. Ash continued murmuring in his ear – in a voice that made his knees feel weak. "I'm sorry I'm late - I got held up."

"Oh, really?" Eiji smiled – so wide that he could feel his cheeks against his eyelashes.

"Yeah - Sing, he needed help putting Chinatown back together."

"Mm?"

"Yeah."

"Ash." He got the courage to look up at Ash, still incredibly aware that his mother was watching them. "You know Ibe told me what happened, right?"

Just like that, Ash's poker face was swept from his face. He blinked at Eiji, looking so stunned that he made him laugh all over again.

"What? How did Ibe know?" Ash asked, his voice pitched at the end and he sounded even younger than ever.

"Max told him."

"You and your damn dad network."

Eiji couldn't stop laughing. Ash was here and he was Ash. Ash with all his sarcasm and kisses and beautiful, beautiful smile. He was laughing so hard that he was leaning his head on Ash's chest, fistfuls of Ash's jacket in his hands.

"Doesn't your friend want to come in?"

Oh, yes, his mother was there. She was standing there anxiously and he tried to give her a reassuring smile. His hands smoothed out Ash's jacket and he nodded.

"Oh - mm, yeah - of course," he stepped aside to let Ash through the door. "Sorry, he doesn't speak Japanese."

"Hajimemashite, yoroshiku onegaishimasu." There was Ash, bowing and saying it all perfectly.

"Hajimemashite," his mother was saying, looking slightly more at ease now. She turned to Eiji. "Friend?"

He laughed again – because he hadn't quite told his mother that he had come back from America gay.

"We're close," Eiji said. "Um – we have a lot to catch up on. Is it okay if we go upstairs?"

She quirked an eyebrow at him, still smiling.

"Door open," was all she said.

He opened his mouth to tell he that he was twenty now, but his face was burning anyway. So he just took Ash's hand and led him up the stairs.

Ash's fingers found his belt loops and he was tall enough to rest his head on Eiji's shoulder as they walked.

"What was that?"

"She said she accepts you as her son in law."

"Shut up."

"Door stays open."

Ash chuckled at that, following Eiji into his room like a puppy.

"Well that's fine," his hands were on Eiji's waist again. He hadn't stopped moving – like he couldn't stop moving. Eiji was trying to steady him by placing his hands on his shoulders, but he was still swaying as though they were dancing. "I'm not opposed to anyone seeing-" Ash kissed his cheek. He couldn't stop grinning up at him. "How-" he kissed his other cheek. "much-" he kissed his forehead. "I-" his nose. "love-" Ash finally kissed Eiji's mouth, resting his forehead against Eiji's. "You."

Eiji's heart leapt into his mouth. He knew – of course – that Ash loved him. That he must love him. But that was the first time that he had said it. It seemed significant – but Ash was kissing him again and that was turning his head foggy. He had forgotten how good Ash's kisses were and how they made him feel like he was floating.

"Ash – Ash." He managed to pull himself back down to earth, catching Ash's face in his hands. "I want to talk first. I want to know what happened whilst I was in hospital."

"Why I wasn't there at the airport?" Ash's eyes were still half closed.

"Mm."

"I thought you knew," Ash said. He pulled away, sitting on Eiji's bed, their hands still entangled. "I was running to the airport – Soo-Ling's brother stabbed me."

"I know. I meant before that. Ibe said – after you came to the hospital – that you went to save Max. That – there was a fire and – Golzine died and-"

"Banana Fish was destroyed," Ash finished. "It's all over now. It's all – gone."

Eiji sighed. He couldn't place what he was feeling – he was relieved, of course. Ash seemed so much more free now. He seemed so full of energy. He was smiling. But a part of him felt strange. That had been part of their lives for so long. That had been what was keeping Eiji in New York and suddenly it was all gone.

Everything was all gone.

"But you didn't come to the airport," Eiji said. "When it was all gone."

"I hadn't been planning to, no," Ash said. Slowly. He wasn't meeting his eyes. "I – didn't want to-"

"You didn't want to?"

"That's not what I – you got shot because of me. You get hurt because of me and you're not – I didn't want to see you get hurt again. Because of me."

"Oh, sweetie." Eiji ran a hand through Ash's hair. He loved that hair. He loved how it glowed in the sunlight. "It wasn't your fault. I pushed you out of the way, remember? I got shot because of me." Eiji tilted Ash's chin towards him, only dimly aware that the door was open. That someone could walk in at any time. "You always get hurt because of me anyway."

"What a pair we make," Ash held Eiji's hand, kissing his knuckles. "Blanca said that you weren't my saviour."

"That's nonsense."

"I knew you'd say that." Ash smiled against his hand. "I knew."

"Then why'd you believe him?" The question was met with silence. Ash just kept kissing Eiji's fingers, like he was trying to apologise. "It's probably best," he said, more to himself than anyone else. "I still looked pretty rough."

"You are pretty."

"I was still in a wheelchair."

The words made Ash stop. He took a breath, his eyes fluttering to a close, bringing Eiji's hand up against his face and holding it there like a lifeline. Eiji's heart was going crazy – it hadn't stopped hammering since he had first heard Ash's voice. He loved him so much. So much that he thought he was going to burst because of it. He was going to end up in floods of tears because he just couldn't handle how much he loved Ash Lynx.

"I…" Ash took another long breath. He swallowed. "I was ready to die there, Eiji. I was going to – I was sure that I was bleeding out. But I had – I had your letter and I…" his eyes were glittering and he was smiling up at Eiji like he was an angel. "I was going to die so happy."

"Oh, sweetheart."

One of Ash's tears met Eiji's thumb, rolling down his skin. He wiped it away automatically. And the next one. And the next one.

"It's okay," Ash was whispering in a broken voice. "Because you loved me and that's more than I ever deserved."

"No. No you deserve so much more. You deserve the whole world, Ash."

Ash let go of Eiji's waist, just long enough to open his arms and let him slip onto his lap. He couldn't remember when that had become so second nature to him – to bury his face in Ash's neck and just hold him. Like he was a liferaft – or Ash was his life raft. He couldn't tell which but the world was spinning and Ash was the only thing that wasn't.

He smelt the same. The same cheap aftershave. He had dreamt about that smell.

This was bizarre. Ash here. Ash surrounded by suburbia instead of skyscrapers. There were no taxi horns or smog. There was none of Ash's city. It was weird that he was sitting on Ash and he wasn't wearing Ash's clothes. He was back in jumpers and button ups and suddenly he found that he didn't like it. He liked Ash's skinny jeans and baseball jackets. That had been Eiji - a New York Eiji. He didn't fit into Japan Eiji anymore.

Ash's face was buried in the crook of his neck. He gave Eiji a light squeeze, before his hands started wandering down. Then he was cupping Eiji's rear just like he had at that meeting in prison. Their first kiss. When Ash's presence just made Eiji's heart race. When he had been awkward and nervous and completely baffled how that one kiss had sent such sparks throughout his body.

"Have I ever told you how much I love your butt?" Ash murmured in his ear and Eiji laughed. Everything was so different now. But he was happy. So incredibly happy.

"You haven't mentioned it," he said.

"I noticed it – in prison – you have a really good butt," Ash was peppering him in kisses and he couldn't stop laughing and he wondered if maybe he had gone to heaven after all.

"Stop!" he managed to get out, trying to slide from Ash's grip. He was held firmly there and Ash was smiling up at him with shining eyes. Green eyes like jewels.

"Never." A cat who had the cream – that's what he looked like.

"Ash - my mum'll see."

"I don't care." He was pressing his mouth against Eiji's neck. His mouth was still closed and his lips were still so soft.

"My sister – oh my sister's going to be so mad I didn't tell her about you." He had one hand absently going through Ash's hair.

"I love you." Ash pulled away, looking up at him with earnest eyes.

"I love you too." The words came naturally – too naturally. He had wanted to savour that moment.

"I had to come here. To tell you that." He pulled him closer, like he was scared that Eiji was going to float away like a balloon.

"I tried to tell you so many times," Eiji said. "I love you, Ash. So much."

And then Ash's face crumpled. He looked as though he was going to burst into tears. It was as though a spell had been broken. The carefree boy who hadn't been able to stop kissing him just ten minutes ago was gone. The carefree, smirking Ash that he had met in New York had given way to the Ash he had held late at night. The bleeding part of Ash.

He kissed Ash's forehead and wrapped his arms around him as tightly as possible. There it was. The reason he had to stay by Ash's side. The pull in his chest that told him never to let this boy go.

He had already let him go once. He was never going to let that happen again.

Ash had got a room in a cheap hotel on the other side of town. He had also rented a bike so that he could sufficiently cycle to Eiji most days. It was kind of ridiculous to see him on a normal bike – instead of at the wheel of a car, weaving in and out of New York traffic. A domestic Ash Lynx.

He was different now, but in a good way. A domestic Ash. He seemed calmer – more settled in himself. And happier. So much happier. He looked like he was glowing whenever he smiled at Eiji. Eiji loved that glow. He spent most nights at the hotel instead of at home just to see that glow.

"You've changed," his sister said to him when he was already half out of the door one day. "You're barely ever home anymore."

"I can't-" Eiji didn't know how to describe the pull in his chest. Like there was a string tying his heart to Ash's. "I can't leave him alone. He barely knows any Japanese and I know what that was like – he was there for me in New York. After everything – I can't just – I have to be by his side."

"You realise this is just the honeymoon faze right?" she shook her head and leant against the door. "I can't believe he flew all the way to Japan for you."

"You were the one who gave me a love charm." Eiji was itching to leave. He swung his weight from one foot to the other.

"I didn't think you'd come back gay. Gay and obsessed with a guy who's probably going to fly back home in a week."

"I'm still me," he said, and found that he was angry he had to say it. "I'm still me. Just because I'm in love with a guy doesn't mean anything has changed about me. I was probably always going to fall for a guy."

"You love him?"

"Yes."

"Like love love? Like move to America forever love?"

Eiji only hesitated as a kindness. To make it look like there was a debate. "Yes."

"Why?" she seemed incredulous. She was staring at Eiji like he was a stranger. That was the way his mother looked at him now too. He had come back from New York a different person. It had been a person he had liked – he had loved his life in New York, even with the government plots and drugs and gun fights. That person didn't seem to fit in his home anymore. No one was trying to understand that – they were all expecting him to just revert back to who he used to be. Hoping that he would go back to normal.

This was his normal now. He was frustrated with the lot of them. That was why it was so much easier to go to Ash. Ash, who he had known for barely a year instead of his whole life, but Ash was the one who understood him.

"What happened in New York?" his sister pressed. She had asked the question before and Eiji had shrugged and reeled off some of the touristy things that he had done with Ash. He had made it sound like a cute Summer romance. Maybe that was why they were so shocked by it all – by the way Eiji told it, it should have been a fling. Fond memories of an American boy and nothing more.

How could he explain everything.

"A lot, okay?" he said. "A lot of stuff that I don't want to go into."

"I have a right to know. I have a right to know why my brother's suddenly a stranger!" she was on the verge of tears, her voice cracking. That made everything worse. If she was upset now, how upset would she be if she knew the truth?

Eiji paused, then stepped back into the house and sighed.

"Ash is a gang leader. Was. I don't know if he still is – I can't imagine how the guys would cope without him, they're-" he broke off, because he was smiling imagining Bones and Kong running around like headless chickens. He was smiling and his sister looked horrified. Like he had just gone out and shot a puppy. "So that's what happened, okay? Stuff with Ash and his gang and other gangs and it was dangerous."

"So why on earth did you stay?"

"Because – because I had to help him and one thing lead to another and suddenly he had saved my life and – and I wanted to stay with him because I loved him. And I had to stay with him because – because he was still haunted by all these demons and – he needed someone. He needed me."

She didn't look like she understood. That was fine. Eiji wasn't sure if his family would ever understand. Ibe did, he knew, and he would probably do a better job of explaining it. It was fine because even though they didn't understand, at least they were staying by him. And that was enough. That was all he needed.

He ended up heading out of the house, anyway. Ash was already at the bottom of the street on that rental bike and the image sent that familiar warmth sparking through Eiji's entire body. That American boy with messy blonde hair and freckles across his nose from the sun. Because of course Ash freckled instead of tanned – they made him look even more boyish.

That American boy with jade green eyes that looked at Eiji as though he was an angel.

He swung onto the back of the bike, his arms finding a place around Ash easily. It was second nature now.

Now it was Ash's turn to play the tourist and Eiji loved it. Museums and shines and castles. His culture being absorbed by an eager Ash. He loved that Ash – the Ash that wanted to learn and understand everything.

What was he saying, he loved every Ash.

"I don't want to be the one to bring this up," he said, slipping his hand into Ash's when they were walking around the ruins of Tobigasu castle. The sun was beating down the back of their necks just like it had in New York and people were staying at Ash. The only white person for miles, Eiji was sure.

"Then don't bring it up." Ash swung their hands. He had a distant look in his eye as he looked at the ruins, like he was trying to reconstruct it in his imagination.

"We have to talk about the future, Ash. At some point." He tried to say it gently.

Ash sighed, blowing his fringe upwards. "Hell of a big conversation to have at eighteen. Max said that."

Eiji squeezed his hand and Ash squeezed back.

"What do you want to do?" he asked. "Do you want to stay here or go back to New York?"

"What do you want to do?"

"Ash!"

"I don't want to drag you back to New York. Away from your home again."

"You wouldn't be dragging me anywhere." Eiji said. "I think – I think I might have outgrown my home town. I know that New York is your home – you love it there, Ash and – Bones and Kong and Cain and all the others are there-"

"And Soo-Ling?"

Eiji couldn't help smiling. He stepped around Ash, taking his other hand and looking up at him. "Are you jealous?"

"Me? Never." But Ash wasn't meeting his gaze.

"Your eyes are looking greener by the second."

"And you have beautiful eyes." That made him look at Eiji. He tilted his head down, looking at Eiji with such warmth that he could feel the heat on his face. "Beautiful starry eyes."

"Stop!" Eiji was laughing because his face was burning and he could feel people looking at them. People didn't look at them so much in New York. "I'm trying to talk to you – seriously."

"I only want to be where you are," Ash said, pulling Eiji closer to him.

He stumbled, smiling at the ground because he couldn't look up. He could barely even believe that Ash was here and in front of him. When he finally got the fluttering of his heart under control, he managed to raise an eyebrow at him.

"Well I only want to be where you want to be."

"Stop that."

"You first." Eiji pecked the frown that had been appearing on Ash's face away. He could feel eyes on them – burning into him. He turned, keeping hold of one of Ash's hands and looking out over the ruins of the castle again. The sky seemed impossibly blue today. A deep, dark blue. He had once heard a story about the world being trapped within a sapphire and with such a sky, he could believe that.

He sighed. Ash's arms wrapped around his waist, his chin resting on Eiji's shoulder. Eiji leant against him without even thinking about it. They had stood like this so often. That time on the way to Cape Cod, when the sky was a watercolour, when they had first moved into that apartment – he loved standing like this. He felt so incredibly safe in Ash's arms.

"I want," he spoke slowly. "I mean, I think it's best to go back to New York. You love it there, and I love it there and-"

"Izumo is your home," Ash said. So carefully – making sure that he said it right.

"I know." Eiji gave a sigh that he felt in each of his bones. "But my family don't – I don't think they'll ever understand this – between us. Ibe does and he'll be in New York most of the time now."

Ash's hands tightened on Eiji, taking handfuls of his t-shirt.

"I don't want you to have to say goodbye to your family."

"Oh, things will get better – I'll talk them to some sort of…understanding. In time. But – I don't – I don't fit in here anymore. Besides-" Eiji placed his hands over Ash's, tilting his head to rest on him. "You're my family now, sweetie. I feel closer to you than anyone else in the world. I found my family – it's a bunch of street kids who don't go to school and know how to shoot guns. Maybe it's selfish of me to feel that way, but…my parents, my sister, they don't know me. Or, they don't know me now, and at the moment they're clinging to the old me and I can't – I can't find the words to explain it to them. Not right now. Right now those kids are my family – and don't you dare for a moment feel guilty about that because that makes me the happiest I've been in a very long time. New York makes me happy. You make me happy Ash. I want to go back there. With you."

Ash was silent for a long time. His fists were clenched in Eiji's t-shirt and he felt stiff against Eiji's back. Eiji stayed still. Completely still.

Then suddenly he was being turned around and pressed into Ash's chest. He could barely breathe but he wrapped his arms around him tightly. He suspected that Ash's face was buried into his hair because he was holding back tears. It wasn't like Eiji hadn't seen him cry before – but Ash always pretended he hadn't. And that was fine.

"I love you." Ash whispered.

"I love you too. So much."

"Let's go to New York. Let's go to New York, sweetie."

And, Eiji wanted to add, they lived happily ever after. He knew they wouldn't – no one could stay happy forever.

But right at this moment, he could believe that.

And that was enough.

(A/N): I know this is early, and that's kind of not the best thing for the last chapter because it means it ends sooner, but I just - I thought why not? I've got issues with my shifts at work and I've just had a couple of days at home so I'm not in the best mood and publishing this always makes me feel a bit happier so this is for my benefit lmao

So, the book The Princess Bride (as good as the movie) ends with the narrator cutting back to themselves and saying 'this is where my dad always ended the story. He didn't mention Westley's relapse or that they had to keep stopping for Inigo etc, etc, because real lives don't have happy endings and stories never really end.' And that was just what I was thinking of when I finished this fic off. I lost my point somewhere, but I hope it makes sense.

There's a musical reference in here and it overlaps with (kind of) a Brokeback Mountain reference. Can you find it?

But, yeah, that's - the end. This fic has been an absolute pleasure to write and you have all been absolute angels! You've honestly all been so kind and sweet and uplifting. That's why I write and it just makes me so excited to write my own novels-

Which I will do -

But I also may have started an AU fic...for Banana Fish...I have ideas for a few, actually, but, you know, as much as I love these boys I don't know how many are going to come to fruition. Just because I'm going into a new semester and I really want to start for good on a couple of original stories.

But there may be a zombie apocalypse AU in the works...

Thank you all again and maybe see you in the future?