She half sobbed as she stared at that blood, wanting nothing more than to scrub it off. It would not help her to forget all that had taken place. No, she could never forget. She glared down at the blood, feeling dirty from it. Yet, she just could not bring herself to get rid of it. Somehow, she could not. The blood flickered in the light and seemed to be glistening. Blood. Blood everywhere. She choked back a sob and dug her nails into the palms of her hands. 

   "Raissa!" a firm hand shook her shoulder.

She jumped and looked up into the concerned eyes of her best friend Leanne. She unclenched her hands, realizing how close she had come to drawing her own blood. She traced the deep grooves from her nails in astonishment. Leanne grabbed her hand and stared at it. She gapped at the sight of the blood and dropped her hand. Leanne looked up at her in shock, her eyes holding the unspoken question of what had happened. The rumors had already spread like wild fire from the students who had been in the hall when Raissa had run to get Madam Pomfrey. With each passing of the story it had become more and more ridiculous. Some had even claimed that Raissa had murdered Professor Snape. What none sense! At least Leanne hoped so. She now felt compelled to die her friend because of the blood she had seen.

Leanne saw the look in Raissa's eyes and her questions died in her throat. She had never seen such fear and dismay in anyone's eyes. She leaned over and gently embraced her friend. Raissa clung to her and buried her face in her friend's shoulder. She began to sob, letting all her pent up emotions escape in a rush. Through her tears she told Leanne the whole story of what had happened. Leanne let her talk; knowing Raissa would feel better when it was all out in the open. She could hardly believe all that Raissa told her. She blood and bruises were proof enough that it was all true. She felt anger welling up inside her towards Snape. She had always been very protective of her friends. To hear that this had happened to her best friend made her so furious she could hardly think straight.

               "I can not believe they let him teach here! He's dangerous! He could have killed you!" Leanne burst out when Raissa had calmed.

               "No," Raissa stilled, and looked up into her friend's eyes. "No, he wouldn't have."

            She suddenly remembered how his voice had sounded when he had said to call him Severus. She could still see the contempt and hatred for all that he done shining in his eyes. He hated himself for all that he had done. He had made serious mistakes, but he would never do it again. He had turned back from his ways. He had realized how wrong he was in his actions. He was a good man. She had forgiven him. How could she forget that?

               "He only wanted to kill himself," she murmured and swallowed. "Poor Severus."

            Leanne stared at her friend in utter disbelief. Raissa was going crazy from all that had happened. Somehow, she had just managed to over look all the pain and fear Snape had caused and forgiven him. The man was a murderer! That was something that couldn't be forgotten so easily.  Why he wasn't in Azkaban was beyond her.

               "C'mon, Raissa. I think you need to go to bed. You need to get some rest," Leanne soothed, pulling her gently to her feet.

            Raissa nodded in agreement and followed her friend up the stairs to their dorm room.

****

            Raissa sat hunched over her plate the next morning at breakfast. She did not feel much like eating and just pushed the food around on her plate. She was tired and her mind half numb. She had not slept well last night, because of the terrifying nightmares that had plagued her. She pushed them to the back of her mind, not wanting to think about them. She pushed her plate away from her, completely devoid of any appetite now.

            The entire Ravenclaw table seemed to be tense and unusually quiet. Around her she could hear the other students whispering about her.  She pointedly ignored them. By now, the rumors about her and Snape had reached a climatic level. She could hear one Hufflepuff girl whispering to a Ravenclaw friend about how she'd heard that Raissa and Snape were secret lovers or some such rot. She nearly choked on her sip of orange juice that she was drinking. That had to be the wildest one yet! Lord, what these people would make up just to fill in the messing gaps in a story!

            She tried to ignore the frequent glances thrown her way through out the entire meal. She even found Harry Potter gazing at her from the other side of the Great Hall. She caught his eye and the two stared at each other for a long moment. His face held a look of open curiosity and puzzlement as if just looking at her would help him gain the answer to all the rumors. He turned away to talk to his friends once more and she was forgotten. That was the only time she could ever say she had been noticed by the great Harry Potter. He had never even known who she was before today. It was all because these stupid rumors. She sunk lower in her seat, wanting nothing more than to just disappear.

            She glanced up at the staff table, scanning it quickly. Snape's regular seat was empty and the plate and silverware untouched. It was obvious he had not come to breakfast and she wondered where he was. Was he with Madam Pomfrey? She hoped he was alright, Dumbledore had said he would be. She trusted Dumbledore. She continued to stare at Snape's chair and wonder. Would he be teaching Potions today? Or was he not recovered enough from last night? What if he had managed to finish what he had started? The thought made her shudder. She was sure Dumbledore or Pomfrey would have come to tell her.

            As strange as it sounded she actually wanted to go to Potions class. She wanted to go to class and pretend that nothing had happened. She wanted to make it all seem like it was just a bad dream and see Snape as his normal, nasty self. She wanted things not to be different. This probably made her the only student outside of Slytherin that was eager to go to Potions. Even Hermione Granger was not this sick.

               "Raissa?" Leanne touched her wrist snapping her back to the present. She had unwittingly touched Raissa's hurt one.

            Raissa snatched her wrist away and clutched it to her chest, glaring at her friend. Leanne looked abashed and went slightly pale. Raissa smiled reassuringly, wiping the anger off her face and ignoring the pain Leanne had not meant to cause. Her wrist still hurt terribly, even the slightest touch made her wince. She had not meant to react like that to her friend. She looked down at her wrist. She had a brief mental image of Snape holding his wrist the same way. She could see it so clearly that she could even see the blood running out from between his fingers. She sucked in a sharp breath and dropped her hands in to her lap. She did not want to be reminded of that now.

               "Yes, Leanne?" she broke the awkward silence and looked back up at her friend.

               "I-I'm sorry, Raissa. I forgot about your wrist," Leanne stammered.

            Raissa shook her head and lied. "It's alright. It only hurts a little."

            Boy, was that the lie of the century! It hurt like crazy! She would not let Leanne beat herself up about it. It was not her fault. Leanne nodded, and smiled feeling a little bit better. Raissa relaxed, glad that the sticky situation she could have found herself in was diverted.

              "I was wondering what you were looking at," Leanne said.

            Raissa tried to ignore the inquisitive looks she was getting after her little freaking out episode. "Just Professor Snape's empty chair. I was wondering if he was alright."

            The two fourth year girls across the table giggled and began to whisper back and forth excitedly. No doubt what she had just said would be all over the school by lunch time. Oh, how she hated gossip and rumors! She rolled her eyes and sighed heavily.

               "I'm sure he's just fine," Leanne remarked in a tight tone that sounded as though her teeth were being pulled.

            Raissa sneaked a quick glance at her friend and shook her head. Leanne's face held an expression of disapproval and distaste.

               "You know, Leanne, I know you don't like the Professor. You would be overjoyed if he had killed himself. I just don't understand why exactly," Raissa remarked.

            Leanne looked away and furrowed her brow. "He deliberately hurt you! Don't tell me you've forgotten that!"

               "No," Raissa shook her head stubbornly. She had forgotten how protective Leanne could be of her friends. It could be quite annoying sometimes. Raissa frowned. "He didn't hurt me intentionally. He was delusional and in pain. I was the only one there for him to reach out to."

            Leanne shook her head. The anger was written in her expression and betrayed in her tone. "I think you've lost it. He could have killed you! He's a murderer! He belongs in Azkaban!"

               "I have not lost it! How dare you! You don't get it do you!?" she jumped up and glared down at her friend, shaking from rage. Her voice rose dangerously. "He turned away from that! He's not a murderer! He's ashamed of what he did! Don't you get that!? He made some bad choices! We all do, but that doesn't make us all killers or evil!!"

            She didn't care that everyone was staring. She was so angry that she had to keep her fists clenched in order not to smack her friend. How dare Leanne say such things! She just stood there for a long moment, feeling shaky and sick from her outburst. She spun around and stormed away from the Ravenclaw table. She ignored Leanne's shocked expression, the whispers about her, and the sympathetic looks. None of them understood what had happened to her, none of them could! She wasn't crazy for being able to see what few others ever saw in Snape, was she? She shook her head and refused to let the tears fall that were welling up in her eyes. She had to get out of there. She couldn't take anymore!

            She sped out of the Great Hall and slumped against the nearest wall when the doors slammed shut. She buried her face in her hands and took a deep shuddering breath. She had no idea what to do. She felt lost. She had just blown up at her best friend in the world! In one day everything had changed for her and it was all because of Snape. She wanted to hate him for it. She did not hate him though. She couldn't. Why did this have to happen to her!?

            She heard the door open from the Great Hall and looked up. Leanne was looking around for her, but Raissa did not want to talk to her. She got up and began to walk away. She turned her back on her friend; paying no attention to Leanne calling her name. She began to run away, not sure where her feet were taking her but not really caring. She suddenly found herself at the top of the stairs leading down into the dungeons. She stared down into the darkness and felt as if something were pulling her down there. She realized now that she needed to see Snape. She had to find out if he was alright.

            She walked slowly down to the dungeons, trying to ignore the creepy tingle running up and down her spin. She stopped in front of the Potions room door. She suddenly wondered why she had bothered to come down here. She shifted nervously, but something was keeping her from leaving. There were so many new unknown forces at work that she did not understand. She had to see Snape. She hesitantly reached out and opened the door. What was the point of knocking? She slipped in, closing the door quietly behind her. The classroom was empty and silent. There were a few minutes before the class was to begin and no one would come down here a minute sooner than they had to. She felt the oppressive silence closing in on her and shuddered. At that moment, she wanted to turn and bolt out the door and never come back.

            She say a faint red stain on the floor by Snape's desk and felt her skin crawl. She let out a little whimper of fear as memories of last night bombarded her once more. She hugged her sides and trembled, feeling suddenly cold. She jumped at a soft swishing sound from the back of the room near Snape's desk. She froze and her eyes swept over the entire room, but found no one.

               "Severus?" her voice was quiet and timid.

            This time she heard the distinct sound of foot steps. "That is Professor Snape to you," his low smooth voice cut through the silence like a knife. She felt like someone had stabbed her in the heart.

            He swept into view, expression set in its usual angry sneer. He stopped abruptly when he saw her. A look of astonishment crossed his face and something else she could not quite read. He seemed suddenly unsure of himself and she found that a little disturbing. He had always seemed confident and untouchable. She studied him carefully, and was relieved that he had regained some of his color. He was still pale but then he always. She thought she could still see pain in his eyes, but she was not sure. He held his hurt wrist against his chest as he had last night. He compulsively tucked it closer when he felt her eyes there.

               "I-I'm sorry, Professor Snape. I just…just wanted to see how you were," she tripped over her words and wrung her hands nervously. Why had she come down here?! "I-I'll just go."

            She started to back up toward the door away from him.

               "Severus," he corrected quietly as though a part of him was fighting the words. "Call me Severus."

            She froze in shock and her mouth fell open. Her eyes flew up to lock gazes with his. She could see the sincerity of his words in his eyes. She could also see confusion and a strange vulnerability she had only seen last night. She felt as though a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. A smile began to play across her lips.

               "Why did you come down here?" he asked, walking toward her.

            She could sense the unspoken questions hidden in his words. "I wanted to. I had to see you, to know that you were alright."

               "After last night…"

            He stopped in front of her and his black eyes seemed to see right through her. She once again felt as though he were reading her soul. She shifted anxiously, but bravely held his gaze.

              "You didn't think I'd come back down here," she finished for him, and admitted, "I didn't think I could either."

            He didn't say anything.

               "Put it felt like something was pulling me down here," she murmured.

               "A wizard's bond," he explained to her. "You saved my life and I am indebted to you. We share a bond now because of it."

            She bit her lip. She had heard of wizard bonds. They were powerful magic. Those that were bound together could not escape one another. They were forever connected. It was almost as close as being married to someone but without the romance. It was strange to think that she was now bound to Snape in this way. She now understood all the odd things she had felt earlier. How she could not hate him and that sort. If it was like this for her, he wondered how he felt.

               "Can I see your wrist?" she asked, quietly.

            His expression became dark and she was afraid that she had gone too far. After a long pause, he hesitantly held out his injured wrist for her to see. He had not buttoned up his sleeve because the pressure would be far too painful. She reached out and took his hand carefully. She tentatively pushed up his sleeve and ran her fingers over the rough bandages. How odd it was to be this close to him. Last night she had not had time to think about the strangeness of their close proximity, now she did. How many had ever gotten this close to him? She had seen few come as close as she did to him now in her years at Hogwarts.

            Her fingers went still and she trembled as she caught the faint hint of red underneath those bandages. She withdrew her hand quickly. Blood. So much blood. She shuddered.