So here we go with part two… hope this is more what you've been hoping for! What if they crossed the line tiny little bit?

It was a week after the incident with the Entity taking over her body. After she woke up in the storage room and Janet said she was back he stayed for an hour but then when Carter fell asleep he asked the General if he could leave the base. And he got the permission. He couldn't stand to be there anymore. Daniel called and asked him how he felt but he had no reply. He told him about Sam and her improving condition. Jack needed no more. Just to be alone.

Janet wanted her in the infirmary for 48 hours for observation and then released her home. All her friends stopped by. All but one. Jack just couldn't. When Janet stopped him and asked him to bring some special painkillers and some other bottles with pills to Sam's place as she had to stay upon an emergency with SG-6 and couldn't bring them herself, he had no valid reason to decline. He guessed Janet didn't know he hadn't visited Carter at all. Or she knew it and that's why she asked him to deliver the pills.

He dropped the pills at Carter's but reduced the conversation to what was necessary and then with a get well soon wish he left her standing at her door looking at him perplexed.

Jack was tormented with everything that happened and everything he did and knew. It was for his strong feelings for her that the Entity could use her to her advantage. Their connection endangered Carter's life, the base, everyone on it. And it was him who had to put an end to it. And when she looked at him before he shot her the second time his heart stopped. And was ripped out of his chest.

Sitting there by her bed then was even more painful. Getting the sympathetic looks and shoulder squeezes from Daniel, T. and Janet nearly broke him to pieces. And when he had to talk to Hammond he felt like screaming. Did they really think they knew how he felt? What he was going through? No! NO! They couldn't.

Her life was in his hands before and he failed her. And then she trusted him to turn off the life support upon her wishes and he failed her again. He couldn't let go. He couldn't just turn it all off and watch her die – again.

Okay so it saved her life in the end but he still felt like he betrayed her. And now he wasn't even able to look at her without feeling the guilt eating him alive. How was he supposed to get over that? It was in a way like Charlie's death. He felt like he pulled the trigger back then and it was the same now.

He couldn't stand his own thoughts anymore so he went for a walk. He wasn't paying attention to where he was going. And it had to start to the rain of course so he could feel even more miserable than before. Just great.

Before he realized he was at her doorstep. There was some force pulling him there, screaming at him to go there, that he had to be there. And yet he couldn't raise his hand and knock. How could he? And so he stood there getting soaked and cold and he felt his soul break into tiny shreds, falling apart in front of Carter's door.

Jack sank down to the ground and kneeling there he felt hot tears on his face, mixing with the cold rain. And he knew this was his breaking point. He had nowhere else to go. After all those years and after everything he had done and witnessed, after everything that happened and he had to survive and had to learn how to live with, this was it. He was done. He couldn't go on anymore as a week before he killed the woman he loved and failed her in more than just one way.

She never told him why did she open the door but she thought she had heard something so she just went there to check. And so she found him. Kneeling there – broken.

"Sir!" She called and immediately sank down to his level. Without thinking about it twice she grabbed him and helped him to stand up. She led him inside and when he collapsed to his knees again, freezing and without any energy left, she quickly got a towel and a blanket to warm him up.

"Sir, what happened? Are you all right?" She asked worriedly, drying him off, putting the blanket around his shoulders.

"You're asking me?" He stammered.

"Of course. What's going on?"

"Can you ever forgive me?" He asked and she noticed his face – he was crying. Well, that was not something she had imagined would happen that evening. Colonel O'Neill crying on her floor…

"What are you talking about, Sir?" She asked again.

"I killed you." He said and then it all clicked.

And just half an hour ago she was pissed he had never come to see her. She was so confused from his brief visit and how he talked to her that she thought he was disappointed in her for letting them all down. She tried to wrap her head around everything that happened in the past weeks but she was coming up empty.

She should have known better. Of course, he would blame himself. Of course, he would feel like this. Although the force and scale of his reaction totally surprised her.

"No, you didn't." She replied and as he was unfocused she took his head into her hands to make him look her in the eye.

"You didn't kill me. I'm here, I'm okay. I'm alive."

"I can't… you… I hit you twice… Sam…" He wasn't making much sense and Sam knew that this had to be really difficult for him. He would have never shown her such vulnerability if it wasn't killing him – inside out. She realized that the Colonel had reached his breaking point. Where they would go – as friends, colleagues, and perhaps more, was up to her and this moment.

"Shhh…" She said softly like when she was calming Cassie after a bad dream.

And on the spur of the moment, she hugged him close to her body not minding the wet clothes one bit. She held him and stroked his hair and he hugged her back with such force she could barely comprehend it.

It felt like the too short moment on Hathor's ship when he woke up from the stasis – sans snake in his head. How he drew her close and held for dear life. Back then she thought there couldn't be anything like that. And yet it was more now. It was more because she knew how he felt about her. And it gave the moment more depth.

When he seemed to calm down a moment she drew back a bit and kept her palm on his cheek.

"You need to change. You're freezing." And she couldn't care less about how inappropriate it was.

The Colonel was either too tired or the weight of the emotions was crushing him as he didn't fight her when she undressed him from the waist up. She wrapped the blanket back around him and helped him to stand up.

"I'm sorry, Carter." He said finally.

"You don't have to be." She replied honestly. And the moment grew heavy. Before she could change her mind she stepped back into his arms and folded her arms around him under the blanket, putting her palms against his back, her head finding the perfect spot on his chest. And it took him a moment to respond but soon he was hugging her back and all be damned it felt good.

Knowing very well how this could go he stepped back sometime later, clearing his throat.

"You can take a shower and I'll make us some coffee, Sir." She said then to give him a way out and he nodded.

"Your spare clothes are in the home office."

"Thanks, Carter." He replied and retrieved his duffel and walked to her bathroom to take a shower.

Ever since Daniel threw up on Jack the first time he got really drunk at Carter's place they all kept their spare clothes in each other's homes. Just in case.

Sam was trying not to think too much about it but it was kind of difficult. So she just made the coffee and waited for her commanding officer to come back from the bathroom. And when he did it was a little bit awkward so she just handed him the cup and let him start the inevitable conversation.

"Carter…"

"Don't apologize."

"But I should."

"No. Just don't." She told him firmly. She turned away from him.

"I don't want you to apologize because I'm glad you came here instead of bottling it all up. I can count the times when you let your walls fall on the fingers of my hand so it means a lot to me, that you allowed me to be here for you." Sam said and went into the living room.

Jack stood in the kitchen and knew he had to do and say something. It was up to him. It was him who came to her anyway. And after what she just said it was his turn. He just didn't know what to say.

"I'm not sorry I came as I needed this more than I thought." He said, looking at her back, still standing a couple of steps behind her more in the kitchen than in the living room.

"Then why are you sorry, Sir?" And she sounded curious.

"I'm sorry because you had to go through all that."

"And?"

"What do you mean 'and'?" He asked back not understanding. She turned so she was facing him.

"It's not enough that after everything you went through the last year alone you had to go through this?" Jack couldn't believe her!

"And what should I do? Break down? Quit? Get angry? Drunk?"

"Carter…" Wow, how did this happen? The conversation turned suddenly and he wasn't following yet.

"You came here feeling bad because you had to do your duty and you had to stop me from destroying the base and killing everyone. And I am glad I could help you through it." She said and stopped. Jack wanted to reply but one look from her and he stayed silent.

"You didn't come to see me or ask me how I was the entire week. You stayed home with your own feelings and let me deal with mine. That's what we do. Every. Single. Time." And she felt hot tears burning in her eyes – tears of anger and anguish.

"I stayed by your side the whole time, Carter. Everyone could see how I felt. Everyone. What would you have me to do, hm?" He was equally distressed – and maybe angry.

They stood face to face now.

"I know my place, Sir! I know we have a line we cannot cross."

"And you think I crossed it?"

"And you didn't?"

"Carter, where is this heading?" He asked then not understanding how this happened.

"Do you honestly think you're the only one struggling with this? I let the entity take over my body. It was in my head, using my knowledge and my feelings to threaten you and people I care about and the whole base."

"Carter…"

"No, my turn."

"Okay…" He replied softly knowing she needed to get it out of her chest – and had every right to do so.

"That thing took over my body. It used me. It violated me. And I knew I would die. I was scared and knew there was not a thing I could do to stop it. And then I watched you stand there with the Zat. You of all people! And I was desperate like not so many times before because I knew it would be you stopping me – that thing – and that it would haunt you for the rest of your life. And I couldn't do a single damn thing to stop it."

Sam said and there were so many emotions in her little speech that Jack was actually speechless. All the emotions were radiating from her face and he could feel the heat of her burning cheeks and could see how fast was her chest moving. Well, he should have expected it.

"Do you want me to go?" He asked after a minute because he wasn't sure about what to do next. The whole thing was so personal it scared him.

"You should go." She replied. Jack stood where he was.

"And do you want me to go?" He asked again.

"No." She replied in the end and without a warning collided with his chest. And so he held her for her sake as for his own. Sam finally let out her fears and cried into his clean shirt and he held her and stroked her hair and offered the same comfort as she had before.

It was very surprising as normally they wouldn't even start talking about such a subject. It was safer for them to deal with it each on their own and just pretend it never happened. But apparently, they both have had enough. And this incident made them face it.

When Sam pulled back he let her go although his gut was yelling at him not to. But he had no choice. He was still her commanding officer and he shouldn't even be there in her house alone, not to mention hugging her so close he could feel every curve of her body pressed to him. God, she fitted perfectly in his arms.

Sam walked back to the kitchen and reached over for a bottle of painkillers. She gulped them down.

"A headache?"

"Yes. I've been having them the whole week. Janet says it's to be expected."

"I should go, Carter."

"Sir, you walked over here. And it's raining cats and dogs out there. I'm not letting you go in that weather to walk back to your home."

"Carter…"

"I'll make the couch ready, Sir." She said with a smile not listening to him at all. She needed him to stay and knew he needed it too. Maybe for once, it would be okay. For once they could be friends who need each other desperately to make it through the night.

Sam went to bed and Jack stayed on the couch. He wasn't thirsty or hungry, he was exhausted but couldn't fall asleep. After a long internal debate, he opted for his boxer shorts and t-shirt to sleep in. Carter had a very comfy couch. But instead of sleeping, he was just staring into the ceiling – or the walls – and just couldn't sleep.

This day – the week – hell this year – was an emotional roller coaster and he could feel the consequences catching up on him. And having Carter in his arms today? He couldn't but remember the stolen kiss from the time loop and how perfect it had been. It would have been so easy just to… No. Stop. He had to stop with this.

He wasn't ashamed of breaking down here. It made sense. And in the end, it brought him the consolation he needed. It helped him to get through it. Sort of. It was a start perhaps.

He had no idea about how much time had passed but then he heard soft steps coming to him and he knew it was her. And he knew he should have left.

Sam came to him and without a word, she lied down on the couch to him. Jack moved and lied on his side so she was pressing her back to his front, using one of his arms as a pillow and letting him cover them both with the blanket she provided, she snuggled closer, pressed her naked legs to his and only when she felt the steady thump-thump of his heart she could calm down.

Jack would need a lot of time to chase the image of Carter in a t-shirt and tiny shorts from his head. And even longer to bury the memory of her with him like this.

But as soon as he felt her pressing to him he could feel his own anxiety leaving him. And so for this once he let the sleep take over and soon was asleep with her in his arms, holding her, guarding her, feeling her breathe steadily, she was well and she was alive and she was here with him.

At least for a little while.

The morning came too quickly. Jack woke up first with the first sunlight coming to the living room and knew it was early – and yet it was already too late. They could get into so many troubles for this.

He felt Carter with every one of his senses, she was all around him and he couldn't wish for more right that moment. He watched her sleep and knew it was rare. He moved few strands of hair from her face so he could see her more clearly. He knew he loved her. He had known for a long time. He just wasn't sure for how much longer he could keep going like this.

Well, who was he kidding? Forever if needed.

Sam woke up but refused to open her eyes.

"Good morning, Carter." He whispered into her ear and when he felt her shiver he realized it was a mistake. His body reacted.

"Morning…" She said back and turned a bit so she was lying on her back and he was next to her, head propped on his elbow.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Better. Thank you, Sir." She replied and smiled at him in a way that made his heart speed up.

"What?" He asked as she was clearly thinking about something.

"Do you remember the last time we slept like this?"

"Of course I do. In the mines. We almost got caught. We tried to hide away in an empty bunk." He smiled back at her – sadly though.

"I fell asleep."

"And I had to wake you up before your shift so we wouldn't get into troubles." Jack finished and Sam looked so deeply in his eyes he knew exactly what she's been thinking about.

"I woke you up differently though." He said and as she was still silent he continued.

"You have no idea how much I'd like to do the same right now. But I can't. I'm sorry, Carter, but I can't."

She nodded silently. He was right of course. Kissing her good morning would most probably lead to something more – especially after the last night – and they couldn't afford it.

"I know, Sir."

"It sucks." He said with a boyish gleam in his eyes and she giggled.

"Hey, what did I tell you about giggling?" He asked with laughter in his voice, the weight of the situation not so heavy anymore. Of course, it made her giggle more and he knew he could just stay there where he was and listen to her all morning and it would have been a perfect morning.

The moment was broken when Sam's cell phone started to beep.

"Your alarm?"

"Yes. I have a check-up in the infirmary."

"Okay." He replied and was very reluctant to let her go.

"Carter…"

"Yes?"

"Will you be okay?" He asked and knew she would get the real meaning.

"And will you?" She asked back without giving him a clear answer.

"Will we?"

And she thought about it for a moment before giving him a smile, rather sad one this time.

"Yes, Sir. We will be okay." She said and knew that the little world behind the mirror they had for one evening was gone now. Back to reality.

And so they got up, had breakfast and got dressed. Just before leaving the house Jack turned abruptly and pulling Sam to him he kissed her quickly but deeply. She was so surprised she could barely react before he pulled away again, resting his forehead against hers. She was still holding his jacket in her fists trying to regain her equilibrium.

"Not a word." He said as he could see she was about to say something. When Sam nodded and let go they left the house.

Jack drove them by Sam's car to the base. Sam went to the infirmary and then they both got called to Hammond's office. After asking Carter how she felt he asked her to close the door.

"Sir?"

"Look, there is no easy way how to say this but after recent events, I have some higher-ups breathing down my neck about running this facility smoothly. They don't agree with the grey-zones we have here."

"You mean they don't want us to be friends and such, General?" Jack asked – afraid he knew where this was heading.

"Exactly, Colonel. So I have one man up at the security control who reports all suspicious things to me. So this morning…" And he let the sentence opened. He was clearly uncomfortable.

"Sir…" Sam started but Jack stepped in. He wouldn't let her take the fall.

"Sir I went over to Carter's last night to check on her. I walked, Sir. My car is parked by my house."

"And you stayed overnight?" The General asked clearly not believing what he was hearing.

"Yes, he did, Sir. I didn't feel well last evening and the Colonel felt it was better if he stayed to make sure I was okay. He slept on my couch. He also drove my car this morning just in case my headache got back. I also went straight to the infirmary once we arrived as you can verify with Dr. Fraiser." Sam said before Jack could.

"Very well, Major, that would be all," Hammond said and didn't fail to notice that before leaving the Major looked at her CO and he nodded. This silent swift and almost unnoticeable communication of these two would never stop surprising him.

Jack was remembering this when he felt the couch next to him dip as Carter came from the bathroom and sat down next to him. It brought him back to the present.

"You didn't take the cookies this time?" She asked him surprised.

"I didn't find them and didn't want to snoop." He admitted with a smile.

Sam got up and opened a drawer where he would probably never put cookies into.

"Keeping them a secret, Carter?" He asked then with a smile.

"Yes." She replied and it caught him off guard. He was about to ask why when she asked him what he had been thinking about so hard before. She sat back down to him.

"Do you remember the evening when I came here after the entity took over your body? It was raining too." He started to help her remember. Like she needed it.

"Of course I do. Not something I could forget. Not that I want to anyway. Those are actually good memories."

"Yeah… there's something I didn't tell you back then."

"When?"

"After you left Hammond's office."

"What happened?"

"He almost chewed my head off. He was actually kind of scary."

"Why?"

"Because you lied and he knew it. Because you told him what he needed to hear but he wasn't stupid."

"I didn't lie."

"Okay, so you didn't mention the fact that I didn't sleep alone on your couch." He pointed out and she could only shrug her shoulder in that 'so what' manner.

"He wasn't happy about it. He had warned me before about overstepping the lines."

"So you were in troubles?"

"No, not really… he actually offered that if we wanted to, you could get transferred out of my chain of command so we could decide if we would want to persuade something more than friendship." He told her and when she was silent he looked at her and found her staring at him, mouth agape, her brain obviously trying to catch up on the said information.

"I wanted to tell you but then I didn't. I couldn't. I just…" And he was looking down at his feet, worried.

"Why didn't you?"

"I didn't want you off the team."

"Why?" Sam asked and her voice trembled. "Because you wanted me on SG-1 or because you didn't want to open those options?"

Jack looked back at her at that.

"Sam, God, no! Jesus… I didn't tell you because I couldn't imagine going through the Gate without you. And I watched you work on something and realized you needed the job. It was part of you and I didn't want to take it away from you. I knew you had an amazing career ahead of you and I knew we needed you to defeat the Goa'uld…"

"Those… those are good reasons but still, you should have told me."

"And what would you have done?"

"I don't know."

"Yeah… I knew you would think about it and then regret whatever decision you'd made."

"You cannot know that." She argued back, a little hurt and confused. She didn't see this coming.

"I…. I was afraid, Carter."

"Of what?"

"I was afraid I would screw up and you would transfer or leave or wouldn't want to see me again and I couldn't imagine that happening."

"So you rather kept me close on the team?"

"Yeah…"

"And you're telling me now because…?"

"Because I'm still afraid I'm gonna screw up but I also know that I already have and that if I even dare to hope we might actually…" And he couldn't continue.

"We might what?" She asked just because she needed him to say it as she already knew.

"Maybe it's time for us to be selfish and care about ourselves for once. Not about the base or Army or Earth…" He said instead.

"So?" She prompted.

"So there are some things I don't want to keep from you." He admitted and waited.

Sam wasn't sure about what to say. She nodded after some time.

"Yes, it's time. Let's be selfish." She told him.

"You know, you're something else, Carter."

"What would you expect after eight years on your team?" She asked playfully and watched him grin at her. She moved and nestled to his side. Jack put his arm around her shoulders and they talked about all sorts of things that mattered – and didn't matter at all – till her eyes grew heavy and she fell asleep.

Jack was tempted to keep her there with him but didn't want to put her into a difficult position. Besides, they were still in the same chain of command and she was grieving her father and they still had to keep the line in mind.

So he took her into his arms and carried her into her bedroom. Laying her down onto her bed he covered her with a blanket and left. He felt very tired himself and the couch was calling his name.