Apparently, I'm supposed to write 'Dear Diary' or however these things work. Hermione thought this would be a good idea. Why did I listen to her? I'm not 'emotionally distraught'. I'm not!

Anyhow, Dear Diary…...Dear Diary…(ink splotches)

I saw Voldemort today. He was an ugly, mutated, decrepit baby like thing. He didn't stay that way. No. Unfortunately. Wormtail popped him in a cauldron, and out popped tall, pale and snakelike. I should have asked him why snakelike. I wonder would he have answered? Probably not…...or with a crucio…..again.

Okay then, enough of those morbid thoughts. On to something more important. How to grow your own dark lord in a minute flat. Okay. What you need are four, simple ingredients any dark lord worth his salt could find. These are.

One baby-like dark lord, bone of the father, flesh of the servant, blood of the enemy.

Using a large cauldron (I did not ask the size, so I do not know) bring potion base to a boil.

Add one baby-like dark lord.

Add the bone of the father. Powdered bone seems to work well. Recite: 'Bone of the father, unknowingly given, you will renew your son.'

Add flesh of the servant. Apparently a whole hand works. Recite: 'Flesh of the servant, willingly given, you will revive your master.'

Add blood of the enemy. Apparently freshly drawn works well. Recite: 'Blood of the enemy, forcibly taken, you will resurrect your foe.'

Optional: Blather about how the 'dark lord shall rise again'. I don't think this part is necessary.

If done correctly, your dark lord shall step from the cauldron, all mysterious and regal.

Hermione will probably try to read this. Does the word privacy mean anything to her? For all she knows, I could be writing very naughty things in here. I bet she'd complain if I did. Why does she always expect us to know what she is going on about? What does she mean by 'write about your feelings'? What if you don't know what you are feeling?

I should stop writing now and go to bed.

Author's note:

To all those waiting on my other fics, I apologize, I am going through writers block. They are all on hold until further notice. I kindly ask you all not to send me a PM demanding that I update.

Anyway. This was a little plot bunny that came to me by chance. I hope you all enjoy it.