The dream came every night. When all was still and the heat of combat had faded. her fellow sisters were asleep and she dreamed of fire. Of heat. Of the scourging. Of white hot flame consuming planet after planet in righteous fury. At first, she was happy for the dreams. They promised holy fire cleansing and pure. The scourging of heresy from the God Emperor's realm. She would think on this as she burned heretics out of accursed temples devoted to the most foul Ruinous Powers. Holy Promethium would scrub the filth out of this accursed galaxy. It would scrub the the filth from her.
If only that were true. She thought as she dreamed. She was made wrong. Born damned. Born apart from the God Emperor's light. Despite her devotion she was a foul thing. A mutant perversion of humanity. Able to sense the inner thoughts of all people. A cursed gift unique to her. In secret she hid her sin from the faithful. Doubling her own faith in the God-Emperor to combat her disgust at herself. Hoping, wishing, praying for the God Emperor to scourge her of sin. Before her fellow Adepta Soroitas found out. Her sisters. The women she loved, the women she was trained alongside as instruments of the God-Emperor's light, the women and their righteous fury directed towards herself she feared more than anything. She dreamed of all of them consumed in fire. Hatred on their faces as they looked to the boiling skies and saw it. The damned thing that haunted her dreams. They saw a blazing phoenix. Wrathful fire pouring out and around the exquisite bird. And in the centre, the origin of the fire trailing from a wicked soul tainted by evil. As her sisters faded away into vapour she saw herself. Face full of fury. She was the heart of The Phoenix. She was the heart of a damned fire that would consume the galaxy.
"Sister Jean." A voice called, waking Sister Jean Gray from a fitful slumber. She blinked the flames in her dreams away. Seeing the speaker looming above her.
"Sister-Superior Raven?" Jean murmured.
Her answer to that question was a loud crack and a sharp pain in her knee.
"Yesterday's purge was tiring work for the ever-faithful but the God Emperor tolerates not your idleness. You are 10 minutes late for our morning prayer, Sister." Sister Superior Raven intoned. A hint of the baleful wrath she would disperse on the profane ghosted her words. The handle of her whip visible from the gloved hand carrying it. Folded after striking Jean's knee.
Jean bolted out of her cot. Standing at attention for her Sister-Superior. The leader of her squad of Battle-Sisters. A ramshackle thing assembled in an equally ramshackle shed that served as the base of operations for her squad of Battle-Sisters of the Adepta Sororitas.
"I beg your forgiveness, Sister Superior. I have been..." Jean trailed off. Unable to find words to describe the reoccurring nightmare that haunted her anytime she purged temples belonging to a particularly nasty heretical group her sisters had been chasing for nearly the entire of Jean's 10 year service to the Sororitas. Jean felt a warm hand on her shoulder.
"You may think me strict, Sister. But heresy grows from idleness" Raven spoke firmly but warmly now. A feet she was often capable of but seldom saw fit to use,
"Sister-Superior I make no excuses. I overslept due to..." Jean trailed off yet again. She couldn't mention the fire. Even as she mumbled it under her breath.
Raven raised an inquisitive eyebrow.
"The what, Sister? Speak clearly, even the Emperor would have a hard time hearing you right now." There was something in Raven's tone. Curiosity perhaps? Or something else. It was hard to tell.
Jean felt the cold itch of anxiety in her breast. Clammy sweat threatened to break out but Jean had to try to remain calm. At any moment, she could say the wrong thing and be dragged off in chains. Rightly so. The mutant had no place near the Emperor's light.
"The uh, the fire inside me, Sister-Superior. We burned many heretics yesterday. It was hard going and my hatred for the unclean ran too hot. It exhausted me and I overslept despite my diligence." Jean hopped her lie would convince her steely eyed superior.
"Hm." Raven replied. There was a glint of something in her eye. One might call it bemusement if one didn't know the stern yet contrastively warm nature of Sister-Superior Raven.
"There is no such thing as too much hatred for the arch-enemy. Damned be their works."
Jean looked to her feet. Ashamed to have lied to the superior she had bled and almost died for multiple times. Even if it meant she could serve the God-Emperor one undeserved day more.
"I have worked you all so hard. This is true, Sister-Jean. But I must stress that these are duties handed to us by the Eclesarchy from His throne. I understand your weariness but we must persist for the sake of the Golden Throne and humanity."
Jean nodded.
"I understand, Sister-Superior. I will be ready for Morning Prayer momentarily."
Raven clasped both of Jean's shoulders.
"Today is a red letter day, sister. Today is the day we purge the mutant and heretic Charles Xavier from his vile lair." Raven smiled warmly. As she always did before both her Sisters and unopened canisters of Promethium. It would be alarming to one not as used to the Sister-Superior's eccentricities Jean was. As it was. Jean simply smiled back.
"10 minutes and I want you washed and ready for prayer, my sweet." Raven turned and marched away. Leaving Jean to rub her brow. Releasing the tension she had been holding. She was safe. By the Golden Throne she was safe for another day. Until the next slip up. On and on. Until finally Jean would burn away.