Chapter One - Leaving

The airport was busy. People hustled past her with their luggage in tow, all in a rush to get where they were going. Unlike Dr Maura Isles – she stood rooted to the spot, hoping against all hope that she wouldn't have to leave. If she was honest, she didn't want to go, but she couldn't stay with the way things were now.

She checked her watch for the umpteenth time before glancing up and around the departure lounge, searching for the one person that could stop her from doing this.

She thought back; just a few months had passed and yet, so much had changed.

"Maura?" Jane called out as she came into the morgue, smiling. "Casey is back."

Maura had her hands inside the body of a white male who had been found slumped against the wall of a neighbour's garden. She felt herself tense at the news, her hands instantly stilling. Casey Jones hadn't been mentioned for weeks. She had assumed Jane's infatuation with the soldier had passed, and she chided herself for her mistake. "Oh, is he?"

"Yeah, so uh…I know we had plans tonight but…"Jane shrugged and smiled that smile that melted Maura's heart. Melted, or broke it? She wasn't quite so sure anymore.

"You want to cancel?" Maura asked, lifting out the man's heart. She studied it and wondered if her own would look similar, broken and yet still beating in her chest.

"I mean it was just a movie and pizza, right? We can do something tomorrow."

"Of course, Jane." She smiled to cover her disappointment.

That had been the start, the catalyst. Tomorrow never came.

Next it was lunches with Casey and then dinners that followed. It was inevitable; Maura knew that Jane wouldn't remain single forever. But it stung, the ease with which Jane pulled away.

There were times, so many times, when Maura was sure that there was something more between them. The way that Jane looked at her as she was explaining something more technical and going all Googlemouth on her. She could almost reach out and touch it, feel the electricity that sparked between them. But whenever she had tried to bring it up, Jane would change the subject or brush her off with a joke. So, she stopped trying and accepted that there would be nothing more between them than friendship. It was hard at first, but she had managed it quite well, or so she had thought. Until Casey.

The knock on her office door was unexpected. She looked up and found the detective beaming at her from the doorway, her left hand held out in front of her, dangling a finger. "Casey proposed."

Maura felt the wind knocked out of her. Her lungs emptied and she gasped loudly to try and fill them, to just keep breathing. Jane assumed she was as excited as she herself was and clapped excitedly.

"He did?"

"I uh…" Jane smiled and moved into the room, closing the door behind her. "I'm pregnant. I told Casey today and he proposed. Said he planned to anyway, but with the baby, well…"

"That's…I don't know what to say. I guess congratulations are in order." Her guts churned. Jane was pregnant. Her Jane was going to have a baby and marry Casey, and she hadn't confided in her.

"Yeah, Ma is throwing us a party tonight at the Robber, you'll come right?"

She nodded; what else could she say or do?

~R&I~

The party was in full swing when she arrived. Having used the excuse of a paperwork issue to delay her, she had hoped to maybe just pop in and show her face before making a quick exit. But Angela had other plans.

"Hey Maura, come over here!" she bellowed across the room. Maura noticed that most of the people filling the space were just regular customers. The only people invited to this shindig were sitting inside their booth, the one where she and Jane would always sit, enjoy a drink and a catch-up in. Jane sat on the inside, Casey squeezed up against her with Frankie on the outside. Korsak, Tommy and Angela sat opposite. There was no room for Maura.

"Here, Maura take my seat," Frankie said, standing to make room for her. She really didn't want to sit next to Casey, not that he would have noticed as he seemed more content to paw at Jane. Maura glanced at her friend, expecting to see her smiling and enjoying the attention. Instead, she was shocked to find Jane's gaze locked on her. She couldn't stand the scrutiny.

"Thank you, Frankie…I just, uh…I'll be right back," she said as she turned to make her way to the ladies' room.

It was cooler in there, and yet she burned. She checked the stalls and found herself alone; the irony wasn't lost on her. The mirror reflected back a woman she hardly recognised anymore. A sadness had settled in her eyes.

There were times in her life when she could acknowledge that she had been in love, found herself attracted to someone and made it clear how she felt. It would be reciprocated or not, but she always knew where she stood, until now. Now, she felt as though she had no control over her feelings any longer.

She was so lost in thought that she didn't hear the door open or the soft footsteps that followed. She opened her eyes to find Jane standing behind her.

Dabbing at her eyes with a tissue, she tried a smile, failing. "Hey."

"You okay?" Jane asked, her eyes filled with concern.

"Yes, yes, of course. Just tired." Maura turned to face her friend. It wasn't a lie; it had been a long day, made longer by being here. "It's your engagement party, we should go and enjoy the…" Her words trailed off as Jane closed the space between them.

Her arms encircled the thin waist of the doctor. "We should…we should have done a lot of things, huh Maura?" Maura looked away, but Jane brought her finger to her chin and raised her eyes to meet her own. "I wish…"

And then Maura understood that it would never be. "I should go, it's been a long day and you…you should be with…"

Jane nodded. "I know."

She left Jane standing in the bathroom and headed out of the bar, onto the street, gasping for air. She had no idea how long she stood there for, feeling the cool air envelope her.

"Maura." Frankie's voice was gentle as he neared her. "She's an idiot, Maura."

The statement confused her.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand."

Frankie smiled sadly at her. "Yeah, you do. She loves you, you know?"

She shook her head, unable to contain the tears that had threatened to fall. "No, I thought maybe…but, she is going to marry Casey."

Frankie nodded. "Maybe, it's not too late though, Maura. Tell her. Tell her how you feel, make her see."

She pressed a palm against his chest. "Thank you, Frankie. For everything."

~R&I~

It was true, she probably hadn't given it as much thought as she should have, as she usually would have. She needed some space. A break from everything. She wrote two letters. One was to the governor explaining her wish for a leave of absence with immediate effect; she had accrued enough vacation time after all.

The second was for Jane.

In it, she poured her heart out, explained how she felt and that she was taking some time out to finally write that book she had been talking about. She had no idea how long she would need; it would all depend on Jane. If there was a chance for them, then she would stay if Jane asked. She explained that should Jane not stop her leaving then she would take the flight she had booked. 10 am from Logan Airport.

She placed both letters inside the personalised envelopes her mother had given her for a stocking filler one Christmas, and posted them. Then she set about packing the things that she would need for her trip.

Lake Placid sounded like the perfect place to spend the next few weeks, maybe months, she wouldn't decide right now. The cabin looked amazing though, right on the lake with a small pontoon. Lots of decking with outdoor seating, and there was even a small boat at her disposal. If she could write a book and get over Jane while she was there, then maybe she never would leave.

"Last call for flight number JBU239 to Saranac Lake. All passengers to gate 5. This is the last call for flight number JBU239."

Maura Isles sighed with a deep resignation. Jane wasn't coming. She held her head high and with one final look over her shoulder, she walked the final steps towards the gate. A single tear sliding down her cheek was wiped away with a determination she hadn't felt in years. She would not break. In time, she would heal, and life would move on.

AN: Well, I am back... Been a busy few weeks with two new book releases in the last couple of months! The third in the Cam Thomas a series and a new character and genre, Detective Inspector Sophie Whitton in, The Doll Maker. So, I know some of you are going to throw a hissy as you read this one..but remember, I always give you two things! Rizzles and a Happy Ever after! So chill.. enjoy the ride! CHS