Chapter 24 : Merchants , Fleeting Curses and Morning Gals

" Maybe we'll find what we're searching for,

or maybe we'll find something even greater than that."

- unknown.

It was difficult, she admitted, to continue living when she barely remembers anything at all. Bard and his children had been kind enough to let her stay with them until she can get back on her feet and recall her memories, which Jin Ae finds very hard to do when there were barely much of her things left in her backpack.a

Despite the effort she put on trying to secure them, the satchel must've been tossed around by the current and it was a miracle it had stayed by her side throughout the whole time. She traced her fingers over the worn leather as she rummaged through what was left. Her phone was still intact and yet the screen was busted, a huge crack striking across it. She set it aside once it refused to buzz to life. In the very bottom she came across her wallet, still soaked and torn from the river's damage.

The money inside held no value and yet the small picture kept by the pocket smiled at her tiredly, the edges turning yellow and crumpled as she cradled it between fingers. Michael smiled up at her as he held her against his side, memories of the summer fair's small and wobbly picture booth flashing back at her. That was something she doesn't need to recall, the picture served no help in telling her what happened the day after she left the Shire. She placed the picture by the window, perching it by the windowsill.

It felt like seconds ago she was running past Farmer Gamgee's garden to catch up with the rest of the company, but the healing wounds against her body and sore muscles would argue otherwise. There are times where Jin Ae felt like she wanted to give up, times where she wanted so badly to cry herself to sleep and hope that it will all come back to her in the morning. However, she knows better than that, it won't do much help.

When Bard had taken her to the town's center, a rather irritating and leering man had spotted them and immediately demanded they should go see the Master. Alfred had lingered his gaze on her waist far too long to be considered polite and she had nearly stomped his foot right there, but Bard had dragged her away gently, glaring holes at Alfred as they climbed up the cobbled steps.

" Who might you be?" The Master had questioned, waltzing around in his domain. She had scowled at the frightening contrast between his home and the rest of Laketown, it's funny to see that one room holds more gold than all of the houses combined. She could smell the greed and wine off the man and she had to use every fiber in her being to keep her composure and address him with a bow.

" I'm Jin Ae Lee," She spoke, " I have come from Bree as a humble merchant, but my merry band have seemed to perish under the Mirkwood forest. I do not have anything to give you in exchange, as my things have been taken from me by those foul creatures. Would you be so kind as to still welcome me here, my liege ?"

She forced a pout, tilting her head sideways. It felt pathetic, to beg like this, yet she knew she'd get him back once she knows where to go, for now, she has to play the part, even if she wanted nothing more than to slap the smug grin on his face. She knew associating herself with dwarves would only cause trouble, it was best to lie, especially when she couldn't remember much of their journey together.

" How can I deny such a request?" He hummed, " Alfred, give her a few pennies to mend her clothes and some wine to flush her pretty cheeks !"

Once they were outside she had nudged the two bottles of wine towards Bard and placed the coins in his pockets, " Here, for all the troubles."

He didn't say anything, only watching her with a knowing smile on his lips.

After that, she spent her day helping the household, making sure dinner was set and the neighbors were healthy. She quickly made friends, accustoming the people of Lake Town with her presence. Night after night she would wail silently, asking the gods for help as she lay on Bard's bed. The Bowman had been kind enough to give it to her, opting for the barely intact couch even after her protests.

It was only until the second night did she remembered scaling the mountainside within a dream and she woke up with her mouth dry and throat nauseous. The town barely had any medication to cease her distress or any distractions except the mountain across the lake. She would be drawn to it at times, sitting by the docks to watch it beckon her.

" Are you planning to fall into the water again ?"

She placed her hand on her chest and sighed, giving Bard an annoyed look, " You shocked me."

" It wasn't intentional," He raised both his hands, " You seemed to be very fond of the water."

The dock squeaked under the soles of his booths and he groaned as he settled next to her, letting his right leg dangle above the surface of the water as he tucked in his left. He followed her gaze and they sat in silence. Jin Ae knew he was releasing the stress from the hard toiled work he had to keep his children, and now a woman, warm and fed. She had volunteered to help as well, yet she earned way far less than Bard for sewing and helping the ill. While Bard went to the smithy and the docks Jin Ae would stay at home and watch the children, with Sigrid and Tilda eagerly guiding her to jump-start her memory. They seemed pleased to have a woman in the house, taking advantage of her time by spilling to her their worries and occasionally, boys.

Despite everything, she enjoyed the company of this little family. She found it endearing, their adventures and shenanigans seemed to hit home for her. She wondered if their laughter resembled the ones of fourteen dwarves, whose names she was struggling to remember, even if deep down she knew them by heart.

" You're not wrong."

She thought of the dream she had yesterday, of diving into the icy and murky waters of the caves to escape the hungry jaws of a goblin. She saw images of the forest ablaze with fire and eagles soaring in the sky. She felt the outline of a man's lips against her own and she shuddered lightly at the thought. They all exist in flashes and glimpses, barely enough to form a complete recollection of what had happened.

She didn't even know who she had kissed.

"I'm starting to remember," She admitted, " But every time I do, it doesn't feel right. It was as if I was living someone else's life instead of mine."

" It will get better, Jin Ae."

He aims to console her and yet it only made her feel worse.

She could feel the tears prick behind her eyes and she scolded herself as they stream down her face. She vigorously rubbed them away with her palms, sniffing into the cold air as the wind skimmed her cloak.

" What if I don't remember?"

"What if you do? You cannot live in fear when you are not sure of what would happen," Bard murmured, taking both her hands in his, " This curse is fleeting; I am sure, despite what the townspeople have said about the rivers of Mirkwood. The mind forgets, but not the heart. If it matters this much for you, my lady, then you shall not forget it so easily."

She smiled, huffing as she brings her fingers to her eyes, " Thank you. I didn't know how much I needed that."

" It is better to speak then to let your grief consume you in silence."

She pictured his wife and before she could hold her tongue the words fell out of her mouth, pushed by her curiosity.

" Tell me about your wife."

He didn't seem to take any offense; instead, he shifted to a more comfortable position as if to tell her that he was willing to stay with her much longer. His eyes twinkling at the thought of his late beloved.

" She was a gentle-hearted woman with an even stronger will. She will not hesitate to kiss me and yell at me afterward for coming home so late and worry her. That kind of strange beauty is hard to come by," He nodded fondly.

" Tilda and Sigrid have been reporting to me about the women who are interested in you," She teased, " The list sounds like the whole town to me bard."

" You are flattering me," He scoffed heartily.

" There was even a married woman."

" Heavens no !"

On the fifth day, Jin Ae was sweeping the floor when a headache attacked her. She stumbled over to the couch, pressing both her palms flat against her face as she was plunged into the dark trees of Mirkwood. She could hear whispers floating throughout the air, tantalizing her as she clutched onto the back of Bilbo's satchel. Then there were gigantic spiders, crawling on all their eight legs towards her. She was cornered onto the riverside and that was when it swept her into the currents.

" Da!" Bain called out, rushing to her side.

It was in the early hours of the morning when the sun had just beginning to wake. Jin Ae didn't expect the young boy to be up this early, but in the midst of her headache, she remembered that Bard would be off to collect barrels from the woodland realm. His son must've wanted to see him off.

" It's alright Bain," She muttered, " You'll wake your sisters."

Heavy footsteps gathered before her and she looked up to see Bard, his brows furrowed as he placed a hand on her forehead.

" You're ill," He huffed.

" No," She insisted, blinking away her light-headedness, " I've just remembered something."

" Bain, get her some water and a damp cloth for her fever."

At his father's order the boy immediately went off to the kitchen and Jin Ae wanted to correct him that she didn't have a fever; it was simply the exhaustion from diving into her mind chasm. Her vision swirled and she couldn't deny the bile rising in her throat. It was a good thing breakfast wasn't served earlier.

" What do you see?"

" I saw," Jin Ae trailed off, looking at Bard. She realized it would be unwise to tell him about the dwarves. He would ask what they were doing here and she would have to reveal to him the nature of this quest. She hadn't told him the whole truth. Balin did instruct her on the night before their departure from Bag End that the quest is not something to be shared with others and if they were to be questioned, the answer would be that they were simple merchants passing by.

Yet Bard was no fool, he was too quick-minded for his own good and she'd have to lie for the time being. The dwarves were most likely still in Mirkwood, perhaps by now, they would have made it out. She chewed her lip, there was no telling for sure unless she sees it for herself.

" I saw what happened o me in Mirkwood but I need help in remembering them correctly," She lied, " I need you to take me with you today to the rivers by the woodland realm."

Bard pulled himself away from her, standing up from his kneeling position.

" You know I can't do that."

" If it's Alfred you're worried about, I can hide in your boat the same way you smuggled me in," She reasoned.

" No, it is not him I worry, but it's you. The woodland realm is no longer safe, I fear that the evil that grows there grow with every passing minute," Bard explained.

" You know you have no right to stop me, I would still go there with or without your help. Now tell me, will I be safer riding one of Percy's boats or will I be safer riding with you?"

At her argument, he opened his mouth as if to retaliate, but he knew it was pointless and so he sighed in defeat. He shot a look towards Bain, who had been standing by the sideline for quite some time now, a shy smile on his face as he watched his father give in to her wishes. Bard took the cup from his hands and passed it to her.

" We leave in an hour," He grumbled before storming off to the docks below.

" Thank you!" She called out, sharing a laugh with his son.

" Do you think you'll find what you're looking for there?" Bain asked.

She stared out of the window, watching the galls zip past her and into the waters. Their squawks waking the town as it bustled to life.

" I hope so."