AN: Hey guys...hehe...sorry for the long wait...if anyone is actually reading this lol. Anyway, here is my next installment for the Free! The Musical series. This next chapter is actually my first run at Hanahaki Disease, and I'll be honest, I didn't know what I was doing with the disease. But I sincerely hope everything makes sense in the end. This chapter actually turned out longer than what I was expecting lol.

Fair warning: This chapter is much much darker and has a lot more angst than my previous chapters. There is NO happy ending! And there is also brief non-con kissing and mentions of blood (and nothing else, I promise).

Story 4: Makoto has Hanahaki Disease for his best friend. For years, ever since the plant first took root, he has endured the pain, hoping...begging...that maybe one day Haru would return his feelings and save him. However, as Haru grows closer to Rin, Makoto is left with a choice: to let go of his unrequited love or to live without being able to love him.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The characters and the song belong to their respective owners, and no profit is being made with this story.

I hope you guys enjoy...

Mercy (MakoHaru)

Warm sunlight streams in through white, sheer curtains, giving the room a calm, peaceful feel to it, like a warm summer day. The room is decorated to feel lived-in, with pictures of mountains and vast fields hanging on the walls, shelves lined with books of all shapes and sizes, a mini waterfall resting in one corner, and even wind chimes hanging from a dreamcatcher are hung over the window sill.

The sound of light footsteps and a mug of warm tea being placed on the table in front of him snap him out of his thoughts, and he looks up at the kind face of a young woman. Smiling gratefully, he takes a small sip to ease his sore, aching throat.

The woman wipes her skirt of some dust only she could see and takes a seat across from him, taking out a pen and notepad. His eyes fall on a small vile resting on a long chain around her neck that glimmers in the light.

"When you're ready," she says softly. He nods and places the mug back down gently, though he refuses to look at her directly. "Tell me your story Tachibana-san."

Closing his eyes, he takes a slow, steadying breath and remembers.

Flashback

They've known each other all their lives.

Their earliest memories were looking into each other's eyes for the first time, with him looking down from his mother's arms and the other looking up from the ground. Deep, ocean blue meets bright, meadow green.

You've got a hold of me,
Don't even know your power.

It was as if their eyes were meant to complement each other like the land and sea.

Haruka…

Then came the day that Haru held out his hand for him when he fell. Looking up at the older boy, he felt a twinge of something deep in his heart, but his young mind didn't give it too much thought nor was he able to understand what it was. Instead, he smiled gratefully and gripped Haru's warm hand.

From that moment on, they were inseparable. They played together and laughed together. They did everything together, and whenever one fell, the other is always there to help him back up.

Then middle school happened, and with their changing bodies, feelings began to change as well. Makoto was scared and tried to find himself and his own reasons for swimming. Reasons that didn't involve Haru. It pained him deeply to keep his distance as he watched Haru get close to others and seem to drift away from him, but then he realized something.

I stand a hundred feet,
But I fall when I'm around you.

He loved swimming and, most of all, he loved Haru.

Show me an open door,

Under the light of the moon and a million stars, in the cool crystal clear water, he confessed. And for a moment, he had hope as the other boy looked up to him with wonder and a shine in his eyes.

Then you go and slam it on me.

However, Haru never said anything back. He said they'll swim together, but nothing more.

That's when he felt the first seed get buried in his chest, but he hides it with a chuckle and a smile.

I can't take anymore.
I'm saying, baby…
Please have mercy on me.

He cried that night, and many lonely, painful nights in the years that follow. Yet, Makoto stayed by Haru's side, silent about his suffering as he watches the boy he loves go through the ups and downs of teenhood, find his dreams, and grow closer to another that helped him find it. Still, no matter how painful it gets, Makoto cared too much for Haru's friendship to ruin it by saying anything. And he knows for certain that he simply cannot have the surgery.

But even though it seems like his fate is sealed, it didn't keep him from wishing…hoping…begging…

Take it easy on my heart.
Even though you don't mean to hurt me,
You keep tearing me apart.

He still hoped that, maybe one day, Haru would see. He hoped that Haru would reach out once again and pull him up and away from the branches wrapped around his heart and lungs.

Makoto sucks in a deep breath as he stands up, flushing the toilet and watching the blue petals swirl away. 'They're the same blue as his eyes,' Makoto thinks almost bitterly. Creeping back to his packed-up room so that he doesn't disturb his family, he stops in front of his little brother and sister's room and couldn't help but begin crying. Needless to say, he didn't get much sleep that night.

Would you please have mercy… mercy… on my heart!

XXX

Makoto never thought he'd get to this point, graduating from high school with Haru and moving to Tokyo for university. Looking out his window at the setting sun over the cityscape, Makoto sighs and gently rubs his breastbone. A part of him is still frightened of what's to come, what the future holds for him. His thoughts then travel to Haru, and an itch creeps up in the back of his throat, so he lets out some light coughs to ease it.

I'd brave through the night,
Just to be near you, baby.

He then hears his doorbell ring and knows who it is immediately. Tonight, he and Haru are going out to meet with Sousuke and Rin, after nearly an entire year apart. While Makoto is excited to meet up with their friends from Samezuka again, it's bittersweet because he knows Rin is going to be there. And there's no doubt that Haru is truly excited to see Rin again.

Swallowing his dark thoughts and composing himself, Makoto opens the door and smiles at the sight of his best friend. Dressed in simple, comfortable clothes, Haru is, and always has been, a vision to him.

"You ready to go?" he asks with his usual flat tone, but Makoto knows that Haru is content and a little excited.

Clearing his throat, Makoto replies, "Yea."

Haru gives him a look but shrugs, and the two of them head out. The walk itself isn't too bad, though the air has gotten cooler with the sun finally disappearing. Knowing that Haru doesn't often talk on their walks, Makoto decides to look up at the buildings passing by them. He sighs and takes in the breathtaking view. He then looks to Haru for a brief moment and feels grateful that at least for now he has Haru by his side as his friend.

The small restaurant comes into view, and heading in, they find Sousuke and Rin already there, arguing over something playfully once again. Somethings just never change with time and distance. Haru immediately perks up, and Rin becomes a bright beacon of light and happiness as he waves them over. Looking between them, Makoto swallows the lump in his throat and puts on a cheerful facade.

Heart open, testify,
Tell me that I'm not crazy.

It starts off nice enough, with them chatting about their year and what's been going on. Turns out, Sousuke got his surgery for his shoulder and is nearly ready to start swimming again. Rin is progressing with his training very well and is pumped to start trying out for the Australian swim team. Makoto beams brightly, happy to see his friend so happy. He then looks over to Haru and sees him grin at Rin as well, and his heart shudders a little.

They then started to reminisce about their childhood and high school years. As Makoto talks about the time he and Haru along with Nagisa and Gou completely fixed up their school pool, he sees Haru smile at him almost wistfully, and his heart skips a beat. It's moments like this, when Haru looks at him with that spark of hidden emotion, that he lets himself hope that Haru can return his love and cure him of his disease. But the silent man never says anything, and he is left wondering.

Eventually, Haru turns back to Rin and pays rapt attention as he talks about a swim meet. Their eyes are only on each other.

It's clear that he and Sousuke are forgotten for the moment.

As he sips his lukewarm tea, he feels a growing ache in his chest at the sight of his best friend get closer with his other friend. When Rin laughs at something, Makoto sees Haru chuckle as well. It's light, but very much there. Rubbing his chest slightly, he feels a cough coming and excuses himself quickly to go to the restroom. He doesn't notice Haru looking up briefly in concern before turning back to Rin, nor Sousuke's look of suspicion.

He rushes to the bathroom and begins choking. Petals and whole flowers keep coming, and Makoto thanks every deity out there that no one has come into the bathroom yet. Kneeling over the toilet bowl, Makoto couldn't help but sob a little when he sees the blood mixed in with the water. Why did this have to happen to him? Just because he fell in love with his best friend.

'It's not fair!' he wants to scream, clutching his hair as tears fall.

I'm not asking for a lot,
Just that you're honest with me.

'Why can't Haru just say it…anything?!'

He doesn't know how much longer he, or his body, can take this.

Makoto then hears the restroom door open and whirls around to see Sousuke loom over him, his eyes cast in shadow. Too tired to move, he simply turns to hide the shame on his face. But the older man simply grabs his arm and pulls him up, flushing the toilet with the only evidence of his disease. In a daze, Makoto follows Sousuke out the back door of the restaurant and into the back alley, where he leans against the wall and pants, letting the cool night air soothe his burning lungs.

Sousuke doesn't say a word and lets him catch his breath. When he did, both silently watch the other.

"You're not going to ask?" Makoto finally asks hoarsely.

Sousuke looks at him contemplatively, then reaches into the pocket of his own shirt and pulls out a red flower. One look and Makoto knows who the flower is for, and he chuckles humorlessly, "Fate sure hates us." Sousuke looks at his own flower and nods. "Why?" Makoto has to ask as he looks up to the starless sky, missing Iwatobi and his family all the more.

After a while, Sousuke finally speaks, "Perhaps, we're not supposed to feel this way. Not for them," his deep voice draws Makoto's attention.

Makoto shakes his head, "I know my feelings. Whatever force out there couldn't possibly punish me for liking a…"

"What if there's someone else?" Sousuke interrupts him, clutching the flower in his shaking grasp. His eyes are lowered so Makoto couldn't see them.

"Who?"

Sousuke doesn't give any warning. The crushed red flower falls onto the pavement, but all Makoto can see is the bright teal of Sousuke's eyes and feel the other man press his lips onto his own. There's no love, just manic desperation from the other man, and Makoto freezes. This is his first kiss. And it's from a man that doesn't truly love him. A sharp pain pierces his chest, drawing tears from his eyes, and he forcefully shoves Sousuke off of him. Gagging and coughing, the pavement gets covered in blue and red petals and delicate flowers. Makoto weeps and slides down the wall he was pushed against until he's sitting on the ground, not hearing Sousuke grunt a rough apology and run away.

Sitting in a dark alley, surrounded by blue and red flowers, Makoto has never felt more pathetic in his life.

My pride is all I got.
I'm saying, baby,
Please have mercy on me!
Take it easy on my heart.

He doesn't know who he's begging to at this point. The flower or Haru.

He gasps one last sob before straightening himself out. Stepping back into the restaurant, Makoto puts on his best reassuring face when both Haru and Rin ask if he's okay. He's not, but still, he smiles.

Rin grumbles when he gets a text from Sousuke, saying that he has to leave suddenly, but he and Haru soon fall back into a comfortable conversation. Haru does spare Makoto a look of concern, to which he shakes his head and communicates with his eyes that he's fine. It's scary how good he has gotten at hiding his pain from his friend. He never thought he'd have to ever hide anything from Haru, but here he is. Looking at Haru being so happy and free with Rin, Makoto feels the branches grow and constrict his lungs even more, but he hides his pain behind a serene expression.

Even though you don't mean to hurt me,
You keep tearing me apart.

For the rest of the night, even as he's walking Haru home, Makoto doesn't say much else for he fears that if he does say something, his turmoil would be shown in bright neon lights for Haru to see. And he doesn't want to burden him that way ever.

"Makoto…" Haru calls out softly when they reached the door to Haru's apartment. Turning to face his older friend, Makoto cocks his head to the side; however, Haru only faces the door, fiddling with the lock, "Did Sousuke do something…?"

Makoto is quick to shake his head, even though in the back of his mind he painfully remembers the feel of the other's lips on his own, and he shudders inside, "No, no. Nothing happened."

However, Haru looks up at him with scrutiny, and Makoto gulps.

"Then…are you okay?"

Makoto inhales sharply and feels the branches and roots dig into his chest. The urge to cough and hack out his lungs is so strong, but he holds it in and hides his suffering behind his usual bright smile.

Would you please have mercy on me?
I'm a puppet on your string.

"I'm fine," he reassures Haru once again.

Nodding, though hesitantly, the other man begins unlocking his door and seems to have accepted his answer for now. "We didn't get to talk much tonight."

Makoto looks to the side solemnly, not offering much else.

Haru then gestures for him to come in, "It's late. Stay over."

Makoto knows that he shouldn't, and a part of him wants to just leave, find the nearest secluded spot, and vomit the flowers out again. But when he sees the concerned look in Haru's sharp eyes, he couldn't leave.

And even though you got good intentions,
I need you to set me free!

Closing the door and toeing off his shoes, Makoto takes a deep, calming breath and moves further into the apartment.

"Here," Haru walks back into the living room with a blanket in hand, "You were shaking earlier."

He winces as the plant in him seem to loosen its hold a little. Gazing at the warm blanket offered to him and back up at Haru's concerned face, Makoto swallows thickly and turns his gaze downward, his bangs hiding his distressed eyes. 'Why does he keep doing this to me?!'

Would you please have mercy…

Makoto, so lost in his inner musings, doesn't even realize that Haru has stepped closer until he feels the blanket being wrapped around him. Whipping his head up in shock, Makoto couldn't say anything as Haru pulls the blanket tighter around him and pulls him to the couch.

…mercy…

He sucks in a breath when Haru cuddles closer to him, seeming content to just rest against him after a long night.

'Does he know?!' Makoto worries that he'd been too obvious, but one look down at his best friend, and his heart swells when he sees Haru falling asleep. 'He's so beautiful.'

Grabbing the blanket with one arm, he wraps it around Haru and pulls him closer so that he's resting against him. Love surges through him, and he whimpers as the plant twitches, but relaxes its grip.

…on my heart!?

Makoto woke up by himself, and Haru served them both mackerel and rice for breakfast. They didn't say anything, and Haru seems just as indifferent as before.

In the months that follow, Makoto never brings up what happened with Sousuke nor what happened afterward with Haru. But those events that night made things worse for him.

Gagging and moaning, Makoto looks at the bloody flowers all over his bathroom floor, and a sob wracks his aching body.

Would you please have mercy, mercy on my heart!?

Haru has made the cut. He's going to the Olympics. And with some convincing, Haru was able to get the coaches to hire Makoto as Haru's personal trainer so that he'd be by his side through it all. Makoto is thrilled, and, for once, thoughts of his disease have disappeared as he celebrates with his friends.

His elation soon evaporated as he holds a nearly complete stalk of the plant in his hand, on which several blue flowers cling to. His disease is progressing. He's running out of time.

He then looks up at a website on his computer and decides that perhaps it's time he gets some help.

End of Flashback

"You're strong Tachibana-san," the woman says gently, putting her pen down when Makoto finishes his story, "Not many could do what you're doing."

Makoto shrugs and grips his mug tightly, unable to look up. He then presses a hand to his chest, "I've gotten so used to it now. Like it's a part of me."

She nods, "It can feel like that. But it doesn't have to be."

Makoto finally looks up, "Wh..what do you mean?"

She gives him a small smile and leans back a bit in her seat, "There's another, simpler cure for Hanahaki Disease," she then fixes him with a firm gaze, "Letting go."

"What?" Makoto reels back, not believing what the woman is saying.

The therapist raises her hand, "Let me explain. Hanahaki was never meant to be fatal. Only we make it fatal by our choices, like hiding it and not confronting the truth."

"What truth?"

The therapist's calm façade falls just a little, yet she keeps her gaze firm, "That what you're feeling may not be a love that's meant to be." The young man could not believe what he's hearing. Gaze falling to the floor, he only vaguely hears what else the woman has to say. "That, perhaps, it's time to let go and finally move on to something else...someone else. And once you do, the disease has nothing to fuel it."

So, the universe really doesn't want him to love Haru? Makoto shakes his head as thoughts and questions swirl in his mind.

Consuming all the air inside my lungs,
Ripping all the skin from off my bones.

He then looks back up at her in shock and fear, "But…I can't just do that…I…we've been…I don't want to forget him."

"And you won't. Only the surgery - a forceful removal - will make you forget," she reassures him, "Tachibana-san, you've been carrying this disease for years now and have suffered for a love that's maybe never meant to be. Don't you think that it's time to move on? And have mercy on your own heart?"

Can he really do it? Let go of his love for his best friend of his own free will and move on. Years of pain and longing for his childhood friend…can he really let it all go? Is it really that easy to just stop loving Haru?

Am I prepared to sacrifice my life?
Would I gladly do it twice?

Or would he really die for his love that'll never be returned?

Thinking of their childhood; all their competitions; their struggles; and their times together laughing, playing, crying, holding onto to each other, Makoto sees that nearly all of his memories have Haru in them. Haru's as big a part of his life as he is of Haru's. He can't remember a time when he doesn't love his childhood best friend. He feels his throat constricting and the taste of pollen on his tongue. Swallowing thickly, Makoto looks up at his therapist, and something catches his eye.

"Is that what you did?" he mutters, his eyes falling on the vile hanging around her neck, in it a preserved root. She stiffens and clutches the necklace, looking away in shame. Of course, it's not that simple. Nothing ever is. He stands up, his face expressionless, "That's what I thought."

Consuming all the air inside my lungs,
Ripping all the skin from off my bones.

He knows, from deep in his heart, that it's impossible. He can never move on from his love. Because from the very first moment that they met and when Haru first held his hand out to him, the love was there in his heart. It just took him a while to realize it.

As he makes his way out the door, the therapist has one last thing to say, "No one deserves the pain of unrequited love. Don't you think your own life is worth living?"

There's so much he wants to say to her then and there. He loves Haru so much that flowers are growing in his chest. Maybe it's a warning from the universe…maybe his love is not meant to be…maybe Haru was never meant to be his…

But he doesn't care.

"Not without him in it. It's meaningless without him." It's all meaningless without being able to love him.

I'm prepared to sacrifice my life,
I would gladly do it twice.

As he leaves the office, towards an unknown future, Makoto actually feels strength in his steps. This visit has shown him one thing. No matter what, loving Haru will always be worth it in the end.

The Olympics. They've made it.

Makoto never thought he'd get to actually be there and cheer on for his best friend. In the weeks leading up to the big event, Makoto had been swept up in all the chaos along with Haru. From extra training and conditioning to interviews to press conferences to meetings with sponsors, Makoto made sure to always be by his best friend's side so that the other man can focus and not breakdown from all the pressure placed on him. And every night, when they would finally find some time for peace and quiet, Haru would let out a big sigh and take a long bath by himself, leaving Makoto standing in the living room on his own.

The stress and pressure have also been weighing down on Makoto, and the long days and nights helping Haru prepare are doing a lot more harm than he would like to admit.

Oh, please have mercy on me.
Take it easy on my heart.

But they made it, and Makoto could not be any prouder as he hands Haru his second swim cap to place over his goggle straps. As the shorter man shakes his arms loose, Makoto places a solid, warm hand on his shoulder, making him finally look up to meet his comforting gaze.

Deep, ocean blue meets bright, meadow green.

Unlike the other coaches/trainers with their swimmers, no words needed to be said between them. Even though they've been a bit more distant in the last few weeks, they can still communicate with each other without saying anything. Looking down at the strong man standing before him, Makoto feels his constricting heart shudder as the plant tighten his hold. He's felt it since that morning and knows that he doesn't have much time left.

A familiar warmth wraps around his fingers, and he realizes then that he'd drifted off. Haru gives him a reassuring squeeze before stepping away. As he watches Haru march out to the pool with strength and determination in his step, Makoto prays that he would make it through.

Even though you don't mean to hurt me,
You keep tearing me apart.

Watching from the TV in the back area, Makoto sees Haru step up to the diving board for the Japanese team. Right next to him is Rin, swimming for Australia. They look at each other with such passion and fierce competitive spirit that Makoto has to avert his eyes, only to see Sousuke standing beside him, also watching the screen. He hasn't seen or spoken to the other man in nearly a year.

Makoto turns back to the screen and mutters under his breath, "You're here." He hopes that the older man couldn't hear him over the noise of other swimmers and coaches.

For a while, Makoto thought Sousuke didn't hear him. But then he says, "There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

Makoto whips his head around and looks at the man beside him contemplatively. For the first time in a long time, Makoto felt empathy for his friend.

Would you please have mercy on me?
I'm a puppet on your string.

The race begins, and Haru flies into the water. Watching from afar as his best friend glides down the lane, Makoto doesn't need to be there to know that Haru is happy while doing what he's always been meant to do.

Swim. And be free.

Clutching his shirt over his aching heart, chest tight and ready to burst, Makoto allows the tears to fall as he watches the man he loves touch the board and finish his first Olympic race.

And even though you got good intentions,
I need you to set me free!

Makoto rushes out to the pool's edge where he knows Haru will be, positively beaming with pride and love, but then freezes, his smile falling almost instantly as it appears.

I'm begging you for…

Rin is holding out his hand.

The roar of the crowds and happy chatter from those around him die away.

Haru smiles ever so much up at his rival from the water.

He inhales sharply, and his green eyes widen.

…mercy…

Rin laughs cheerfully.

He doesn't feel the people pushing and shoving around him.

…mercy…

Haru reaches up and grabs onto hands that are paler and smaller than Makoto's.

He doesn't feel the stalks growing and clawing in his throat.

Rin tugs the swimmer up onto the edge of the pool.

He doesn't feel the tears pooling in his dulling eyes and rolling down his cheeks.

Begging you, begging you, please!

The red-head embraces Haru, tears of utter joy streaming down his face.

He doesn't taste the bitter pollen pouring into his mouth.

Haru hugs him back just as strongly.

He doesn't hear the clambering and shouting from the reporters, as the all-encompassing pandemonium shields the sounds of another man coughing for breath beside him.

I'm begging you for…

Rin pulls back, and his eyes land on Haru's glistening lips.

… mercy…

He doesn't feel the roots tightening in his chest as his heart pounds to break free.

They lean in closer.

… mercy…

He doesn't hear the thud of another body hitting the ground. He doesn't hear the screams. He doesn't feel the full blossom that clogs his throat. He doesn't feel his breath halting in his chest.

Oh, I'm begging you…begging you…

He doesn't feel his knees hitting the hard tiles. He doesn't even hear his name being cried out in anguish.

His world turned dark before he hit the ground. A blue larkspur the shade of his eyes resting within his still mouth.

AN: Sorry, not sorry. I swear to all of you! I am a huge MakoHaru fanatic. I love this ship too much, and as you can see, that means that I have to make them suffer as much as possible *nervously laughs*. But seriously, if there's one thing these last two sole MakoHaru chapters have shown me...it's that Makoto is a good Shawn Mendes singer.

This chapter is also going to be a part of a 3-part Hanahaki Disease series within this story. So stay tuned for the next update, where we'll be seeing things from another POV.

With that, thank you all for reading! Please follow, favorite, and leave a review! I'd love to hear your thoughts. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to be reading some MakoHaru fluff in a corner. Bye!

~FD