A/N Hey guys. So this is going to be a very slow burn angst. I keep getting blocked in my stories and not know where to take them. I'm not giving up on my other two, but I really need some angst in my life. The Bechloe angst always gets me. Especially when it's a broken Beca. I honestly don't know where this one is going to end up. My goal is to rip all of your hearts out. Is that legal? Anyways. Enjoy. Rated M mostly for language. If there ends up being smut, it probably won't be Bechloe for a very long time.

Sometimes, the best revenge is to smile and move on.

She really shouldn't be thinking about this again. It's been three years. And yet, here she is. Sitting in her house at two in the morning, alone, a bottle of Jack in her hand, remembering the very last time she let her heart get broke. As soon as midnight hit, her body jolted her awake. She knew it was the anniversary. It happened every year.

Three years ago

"You promised me Chloe. You told me I could trust you. You fought so hard to get through my defenses. I told you why I had them. You swore to me that you would be different. And yet here we are. Fuck this." Beca said as tears streamed down her face. She tried not to let the tears fall. Crying was pointless. She just needed to leave. This apartment wasn't her home anymore. This is now the place she caught Chloe cheating. The couch smelled like him now. Chloe smelled like him now. Just looking at the redhead made her heart feel like it was in a vise grip, Chloe holding the handle, slowly tightening it every second that Beca kept her eyes on her. Beca stood up from the couch and went to the bedroom that was no longer hers. She hoped that her clothes wouldn't smell like him. She wasn't sure how many times he had been there. She didn't even want to know.

"Baby, please! Let's just talk about this." Chloe begged. Tears rushing down her face. "I'm sorry. Just let me explain."

Beca broke. Hearing Chloe call her that made her snap. Not in a violent way. No. No matter what Chloe did, she would never lay a hand on her. No the snap happened in her heart. It didn't hurt any more. It disappeared. She couldn't feel the achy beat anymore. She couldn't feel the blood rushing through her veins that made her skin feel like tiny bugs were crawling all over her. She was grateful. She didn't know how much longer she could take it. The tears stopped as well. She stood up from where she was kneeling by her dresser. "First," Beca said coldly "don't call me that. You no longer have the right. Don't even call me Beca. In fact. Don't call me anything. I gave up LA for you. I stayed here, working at a shit label with shit hours for you. I picked up gigs at shit clubs, for you." The whole time Beca talked, she didn't shed a single tear. Her emotions were gone. Not only did Chloe break her heart, she broke her entire being. She couldn't feel a thing.

"Beca! You were never here! And when you were, your mind was completely on work! This last month, I only saw you when I would wake up with you coming into the bed! You barely even talked to me on the phone, most of our conversations were through text!"

"So you're telling me that you cheated on me because for the last month, of our three year relationship, I wasn't around enough? Really?"

"No! It's been longer than that. It's been spiraling for a year Beca! This past month has just been the worst of it. I can't handle a relationship like that! I need affection. You know me! You know how much I crave touching someone." Chloe sobbed. She just had to make Beca understand. She never wanted to hurt her. She just felt so lonely.

"Yeah Chloe, I know. Except for some odd reason, I thought you only wanted it from me. I was stupid." Beca sighed and shook her head. She reached into her right pocket and pulled a little box out. Chloe gasped and more tears came tumbling down her face. "This was why I spent this whole year working so hard. I wanted to make sure I could provide you a proper life. This past month I'd been planning the perfect way to propose. Well at least I thought it was perfect. Do you realise what today is Chloe? It's our third anniversary. That's why I'm here so early. That's why I caught you. You couldn't even keep it in your pants on our fucking anniversary." Beca chuckled. She tossed the box on the bed next to Chloe. "Keep it. I don't need it anymore. Good luck Beale. Hope everything works out for you. I truly do." Beca walked over to Chloe and placed one last kiss on her forehead.

Chloe grabbed on to Beca's shirt, sobbing she cried out "Please Beca! Please don't do this to us!"

"I didn't do this. And I won't take the blame either. This is on you." With those last words, Beca grabbed her bag that held her laptop and wallet. That's really all that mattered. She could buy new clothes. They probably smelled like him anyways. She pried Chloe's trembling hands off of her shirt, and walked back out into the living room. Took one last look, then walked out the front door.

Present

It had been three years, and she still couldn't feel anything. She could fake it, sure. None of the Bella's even knew that Chloe had broken her heart. The phone calls after the breakup were frantic. They all wondered where Beca had gone. She managed to convince them all that she was fine, and that she found a job in LA and was moving. As the months passed, the calls slowly stopped coming through. That was Beca's fault and she knew it. She pushed them away. Short responses to texts. Always declining visits if anyone was in town. Not taking any interest in anything any of them had to say. Finally she just changed her number. She didn't need a reminder of the person that tore her soul from her body. She didn't need to see the old, happy her in her friends memories. That part of her was gone.

Really she should thank the redhead. I mean. If it weren't for her cheating, she wouldn't be living in this mansion. She wouldn't hold multiple Grammys. She wouldn't have opened up her own label a year ago. Yeah. Beca has done pretty well for herself, post breakup. She doesn't sing though. No. That part of her is gone as well. That took emotion that she just didn't have any more. But she can lay down a beat like no one else. And that had provided her this new life.

Yet here she is. Two in the morning. Drinking by herself. This day was always the worst. Not only was it her and Chloe's anniversary, but also the anniversary of her 'death'.

Every year she would try to get a piece of herself back. She would think about everything. Over and over again. She tried for tears, laughter, anger. Anything. Anything that could make her feel something. But it never worked. She would spend at least the week surrounding that day trying. Nothing ever came. So she drank. Hoping, maybe, that the alcohol would release something in her. She just needed to know that she was still human, and not some shell. This empty vessel. Yet here she is. Drunk out of her mind, still no emotions.

XXXX

Chloe spent that night at Aubrey's. Every year. Aubrey was the only one who knew exactly what happened. And no, Chloe didn't ruin her life that night. She finished vet school. She has a great job. Loads of friends, and even a lover every now and then. A girl has needs. But that particular day, every year, she couldn't function.

"Chloe, look, you know I love you right?" Aubrey sighed as she walked into her living room, where her best friend was lying in the fetal position on her couch. Not crying. Just staring blankly out into the world.

"Course Bree. Love you too."

"Ok good, then you'll forgive me for what I'm about to say" Aubrey waited for a response, but none came. She sighed. "Chloe, it's been three years. I've never said this, because I thought I needed to be there for you. Considering you are my best friend. But. I think it's been long enough for me to tell you how I feel."

Chloe sat up and looked at Aubrey. "What is it Bree?"

"Chloe, you're not the only one that lost her. We all did. I haven't even tried to speak with her since it happened, because I knew she would hate me for being there for you. The rest of the Bella's tried, but they lost her too. She didn't want anything to do with them. And yeah, that's messed up on her part. They are her family. But I kind of can't blame her. She loved you with everything she had. She gave you all of herself. And when you ripped her heart out, you ripped all of it out. Not just for you. But for everyone. Chlo, I miss her. I miss that little midget, and so do the rest of the girls. No one can even contact her anymore. Her number was changed six months after the breakup. Her social media is ran by her manager, I'm sure. No way in hell Beca posts that shit. Fat Amy tried getting through to her by way of her new label, and still nothing." Aubrey sighed.

"What do you want me to do Aubrey? It's not like I can just call her up and be like 'Hey Beca, remember me? Well I'm gonna need you to stop ignoring the rest of the Bellas.' And even if she would listen, it's not like I could call her anyways. You said it yourself. New number."

"I know what I said Chlo, and I said it for a reason. It's been three years Chloe, and I think you know by now that I don't hate you for what happened. Now, I need Beca not to hate the rest of us. The other girls don't know what happened. Most of them think she fucked it up with you. Hell, Stacie doesn't even want to talk to her because she thinks Beca broke your heart. To me, that's just not right. This has been eating at me. Being the only one who knows the truth. I can't take it anymore. I'm going to give you a week, Chlo. One week to tell the girls everything. Then I am going to go to LA and find that hobbit and make her listen to me."

Chloe just stared at her best friend. She really didn't know what to say. She knew that Beca and Aubrey had become friends after their first ICCA win, but she didn't realise Bree was hurting so much. "Ok, I'll tell them." Chloe sighed. "But I'm not going to do it today. I can't. Today is too hard. I just want to relax and watch shitty TV with you. Maybe even get drunk off cheap wine. Can we do that?"

"Sure Chlo. What are you thinkin? Jersey Shore reruns? Little women? Anything but the Bachelor. I can't handle that much shittyness."

Chloe laughed. If she was going to tell the rest of the Bellas what she did. She needed one last night that she wasn't a horrible person. She just knew that the girls would hate her. Especially Fat Amy. Beca was her best friend. Though Amy didn't know it, she was the reason Amy lost Beca. Beca was their captain. Beca was their leader. She did more for the Bellas than Aubrey or Chloe ever dreamed to.

Chloe stared blankly at the TV while thoughts of Beca ran through her mind. Not only was Beca a great leader, she used to be a great friend. Sure she was standoffish in the beginning, but through time, all the girls broke down her walls. Not just me. Sure I was the one that got to touch her the most, but everyone could tell that Beca loved them. She'd do anything for them. Her snarky attitude always kept the girls laughing. Her sarcasm was always perfectly timed. That damn smirk could break even Aubrey fucking Posen. She was so cocky. So fucking confident. Most people thought she was insecure because of her intimacy issues. She wasn't though. She just didn't much care for people. That didn't change much over time. Only allowing the Bellas in. But she was damn confident. An for good reason. She knew she was talented. She didn't even let Aubrey break her down her freshman year, and Aubrey could break anyone down. She was so fucking sexy too. God, and the things she could do with that body! Ok, enough. I have to stop doing this to myself. I shouldn't be thinking about her like this. It's my fault I don't have her anymore. I fucked it up. I'm that one that chose not to talk to her about what was bothering me when shit started going down hill. I have no right to be thinking about a very naked Beca. Ugh "I'm gonna go shower then go to bed. Can I borrow pajamas? I forgot some."

"Sure Chlo." Aubrey said as she started cleaning up. Chloe would normally help her, but once a year was the exception. Aubrey didn't mind really. She knew Chloe regretted what she did. This day always just brought it all back. It probably wouldn't be so bad, but it was a double anniversary. One happy, and one very very bad. She's just glad Chloe didn't throw her whole life away about it.

Once Chloe was done with her very cold shower, she went straight to Aubrey's spare bedroom and tried to get some sleep. Thoughts of Beca and the Bellas filling her mind. She didn't know how she was going to tell the girls. She didn't know how she was going to handle losing her family. All she could do was stare at the ceiling the whole night. Not one minute of sleep.