Elena felt Caroline's eyes bore into her, while Bonnie stared at her in shock. She almost wanted to crawl underneath the Christmas tree and hide for the next few days after finally telling her friends about what had happened after she had gotten home drunk a few nights ago. They were having their annual Christmas Eve get-together, something they had done since the death of Elena's parents. After their dinner, they had curled up on the couch and spent their time talking. That's how the subject of Damon had come up.

"So you kissed him and then a few hours later, you told him that you didn't remember a thing?" Caroline asked breathlessly.

"Yeah…"

"Elena!"

Elena held up her hands in surrender.

"I know, okay? I know! But the idea of fessing up to someone like Damon Salvatore about how I feel about him scares the living crap out of me! I took the easy way out, okay?"

Bonnie sipped on the eggnog that they had made together and seemed to ponder things over.

"I always thought that you hated the man. I can't believe I missed this and Caroline knew!" she said with surprise.

"I sort of guessed it," Caroline told her. "She was always way too frustrated over him. There had to be some underlying tone there."

Bonnie nodded. "Okay, but in fairness, how do you think that this is going to continue? Are you just going to pretend that nothing happened… that nothing is going on when he comes back from his Christmas trip?"

"I haven't really thought things through, but that was basically how I wanted to continue living here without utter embarrassment."

"The way I see it, there are two ways that this could go down. One; you don't tell him anything and continue to live this way. With the object of your affection just outside your bedroom door, reminding you constantly of what you want, but won't have. Two; you do tell him and you can work it out from there."

Elena pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes, groaning tiredly.

"You're in a push and pull situation and you need to start breaking free from it, Elena. How can you live here with him without knowing how he truly feels about you? The question of 'what if' will haunt you forever," Caroline put her two cents in.

"It's probably redundant, anyway. I bet he's just fine over there with his brother, not thinking about me," Elena laughed. "He's probably hooking up with his next conquest right now. There's a reason why I always acted so aloof towards him; I don't want to be another notch on his bedpost."

Caroline nodded.

"You know that I get that. On the other hand, if you never take a chance, you've never lived at all…"

Elena sighed as she remembered her conversation with her friends, feeling anxious about coming face to face with Damon again. He had stayed away longer than anticipated; it was now December 31st and the New Year was fast approaching. But he had sent her a text, saying that he would be there in a few. Elena had thought about this moment all week, going over all the things that she would say. She still didn't know what would come out of her mouth when he walked through that door. She had cleaned the entire apartment and had spent the rest of her time studying to distract herself. The options to keep herself entertained were getting sparse, though.. so she was now reading a book, her feet curled up under her and a cup of tea within reach.

Then, the front door actually opened..

"Now there's a sight that I've missed; you with your nose in a book," Damon chuckled as he saw her.

Elena tried to keep herself calm and clutched the book firmly in her hands as she gave him the once over. He looked good…. relaxed.. damn him!

"And what in the world did you do to our apartment? Even the cracks and joints in the wall are shining back at me."

"I cleaned up. Lord knows that you never do it," Elena rolled her eyes at him.

He put his bags in a corner and flopped down on the couch next to her.

"So how did you spend the Holidays? Anything interesting you want to elaborate?"

Elena kept her eyes glued to the pages in front of her, being as casual as she could be.

"Not much. Spent some time with my friends and stuff. You?"

Damon stretched out a bit, grinning like a cat who swallowed the canary. Elena was almost afraid to learn the answer to her question.

"My little brother and I roamed the Christmas parties. I think that we were drunk on more than one occasion," he laughed.

"How charming."

Damon gave her a little nudge when he said: "You're in no position to talk anymore, Gilbert."

Elena froze. Here they went; the talk about her being drunk.

"You're going to hold that against me every chance you get, aren't you?" she stated.

"Yep."

When he leaned a bit closer, Elena quickly got up, pretending to want something from the kitchen. She needed him to keep his distance from her, until she could actually put a decent thought together about how she wanted to play things from here. He followed her in there, though.

"I figured I'd get home, get a few hours of sleep and go to one of my friends' New Year's party. What are you going to do?"

Elena rummaged around in some cabinets without ever reaching for anything.

"Another party, huh?"

"It's usually what people do on New Year's Eve, Elena. You're not going to spend it by yourself, are you?"

"What if I was?" she answered, finally turning around to face him. He had grown a five 'o clock shadow, making him even more attractive than he already was.

"I don't particularly care about New Year's Eve, Damon. I'm going to go to bed early tonight."

Damon's eyes actually widened at that.

"You're going to sleep through it?"

"Yes."

"Jeez… Do you want to talk about it?" he joked.

Elena sighed, grabbing onto the counter behind her to give her hands something to do.

"There's nothing to talk about. I just don't want to go out tonight."

Damon came a bit closer and leaned forward to grab a tall drinking glass out of the kitchen cabinet behind her. Her heart was racing as his chest gently grazed her side.

"Are you sure?"

What did he mean by that? And why was he hovering so close by? She watched as he put some distance between them again and filled his glass with water. Was he testing her or something? Of course, there really was nothing unusual about this situation. This was the way they always were with each other; a bit flirty, a bit in each other's spaces… bantering. Somehow, it all felt different now.

"What do you propose I should talk about then?"

Damon gave her a mysterious smile.

"Whatever you want."

She felt the air crackle as he took a sip from his water. It was as if everything was heightened for her now; every sense was on overload. Her eyes took in the way his Adam's apple bobbed up an down as he swallowed. The heavy atmosphere pressed down on her like a ton of bricks. He had to feel it as well.

"Nice try, Salvatore. Good luck trying that tactic on someone else tonight," she said, trying to sound as flippant as she would have been before everything changed for them with that stupid, drunken

kiss.

"You know, I do sometimes go out on occasion without picking anyone up."

Elena rolled her eyes at him.

"That I would like to see! I just don't get it. Why do so many women like you?"

"That's because you haven't had sex with me," Damon chuckled.

Elena knew she should have laughed. He had meant it as a joke, but it had only made the atmosphere more laden. He was definitely testing her. She knew it.

She gave him a look, before exiting the kitchen.

"Why don't you come with me?"

"Where? To your party? I thought you were going to hang out with friends? Thanks, but I don't want to be the odd one out; the one you had to invite, because you felt sorry for her that she didn't have any other plans."

Why was he following her around? She was inside of her bedroom now and still, he hovered in the doorway, not backing down.

"What if I ditched my friends? Come on, just you and me!"

Elena turned around and raised her eyebrows at him.

"Just you and me? I don't know."

"Give me a reason why not. I'll show you a fine evening, you show me a fun evening. Tit for tat."

"Aha!" Elena exclaimed, pointing her finger at him. "There it is. That's exactly why I would never go out with you. Because my idea of a fine evening doesn't involve hopping into your sofa bed and having a large dose of penicillin around!"

Just as soon as it came out of her mouth, she knew it would be the perfect opening for him. Because that was exactly what she had done on that drunken night; sitting on his sofa bed, kissing him and needing penicillin the next morning. She could see the wheels in his head turning; did she remember or did she not remember?

Damon crossed his arms in front of him and shook his head, giving a dramatic sigh.

"You know, I just figured out your problem; it isn't me, it isn't my lifestyle, as you call it… it's you. You just don't know how to have fun."

With that, he turned around, leaving her with her mouth hanging open in shock and anger.

"I don't know how to have fun?!" she almost screeched, as she was the one who followed him this time. "Not everyone can party at their father's expenses. Let's get something straight, Salvatore; you don't know a thing about me!"

"Same here, Gilbert." Damon was busy pulling out his sofa bed, obviously getting ready for a few hours of sleep. "You're so ready to be judgmental about me, though you never really get to know me. You think that I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth? That Mommy and Daddy paid for everything and raised me with affection? Try again! After they got divorced, Dad turned into a royal bastard, with me having to fight for his approval of my existence. The man is a drunken, egotistical asshole and used to beat me within an inch of my life! If he wasn't busy hitting me or my brother, he was constantly pointing out what a mistake and a waste of space I was and that I would never amount to anything. So why am I working at his company, I hear you think? Because, even though I'm 26 years old, I guess I still want his approval. I got a degree in business and went on to work for him. Guess what? I'm good at it. One day, I'm taking over that company!"

Elena blanched at his words, her stomach turning inside of her. Guilt consumed her as she realized she had indeed been a bit hard on him. Crap, she hadn't meant for this conversation to turn out this way! She was still figuring out how to tell him that she felt something for him and somehow, it caused her to be defensive. He was right, she didn't know anything about his family or the way he handled himself because of it.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

"Yeah, well… I'm going to get some rest."

With that, Damon shut down the conversation. He took his shirt off, causing Elena to get distracted. Her eyes roamed over his chest, down to where his hands were starting to unbuckle his belt. She swallowed something, almost wishing he would take that pants off a bit faster. Damon noticed her staring and halted as he was starting to unbutton it, raising his eyebrows at her.

"Are you staying for the show, or…?"

She shook her head as to clear her thoughts, immediately tearing her eyes away from his body. Then, she bolted for the door.

"I'll be out of your hair. In case I don't see you anymore, have a good evening. Happy New Year, Damon," she said, her voice wavering a bit.

"You too."

As she exited their apartment, she wanted to smack herself upside the head. What on earth had gotten into her? Their entire conversation had started with her wanting to elaborate what had happened when she had been drunk. Instead, she had chickened out, using the only mechanism she knew to fend him off; arguing. She hadn't meant to hurt him.

Well, maybe it was for the best, then. Maybe she wasn't meant to say anything to him. They were wrong for each other anyway. He was scared to commit, because of his past and his destructive relationship with his father. She was scared to commit out of fear of getting hurt. Losing her parents had hurt her so much… . She had never wanted to let anyone in again.

When she came home a few hours later, Damon was already gone. His sofa bed was perfectly made. Here she was… all alone on New Year's Eve. Turning on the tv, she headed for the fridge to take out her microwave meal. Pasta, with a side of card-boardy sauce. As she ate it, she contemplated calling Caroline or Bonnie, but they were off with their families somewhere. And Damon… she didn't even know where he was or where that New Year's party was being held.

After watching the tv, reading a book and doing a bit of yoga, she had had enough. Crawling in bed had never sounded so appealing. It was only 9 o'clock, but she didn't care.

"Happy New Year to me," she whispered, as she curled up under the covers.

The slamming of the front door woke her up some time later and she sat up in alarm. A quick check of the time told her that it was 2 minutes to twelve. Who was in her apartment right before the countdown? That didn't make sense. It certainly wouldn't be Damon; he was taking his pick right now about who he would give that New Year's kiss. Was someone breaking in because they thought that everyone was out? With her heart pounding in her throat, she grabbed onto the nearest object that she could find to smack whoever it was upside the head with it. It was a tennis shoe, so that wouldn't do much good, but still.. Holding onto something was better than sitting here, empty handed. She could throw it at them!

A small light was turned on in the living room, she could see it from underneath her bedroom door. Of course, then her door was opened. She shivered as she almost hugged the shoe in her hands.

The silhouette of a man appeared and Elena squinted her eyes to get adjusted to the light that shone into her room. It wasn't a burglar; it was Damon.

"Damon? What are you doing home?"

He didn't say anything. She could hear someone start the countdown from somewhere down the hallway.

"Ten… nine… eight… seven…"

All the air seemed to disappear from the room as they gazed at each other.

"Six… five… four…"

Suddenly, Damon broke his stance and strode over towards her.

"Three…. two… one….!"

With everyone yelling 'Happy New Year' in the streets, Elena felt how Damon's lips found hers in a demanding kiss. He wrenched her lips apart to snake his tongue inside. When she felt him really kiss her.. after her soft, drunken peck… after all of those arguments to keep herself from giving into him, this was like water in the desert. There was no holding back and she grabbed his hair to keep him in place.

Please don't stop!

His tongue was doing a game of pushing and pulling, diving into the hot cavern of her mouth and teasing her, before retreating and starting all over again. It was as if he was making love to her mouth, basically. A loud groan escaped Elena, as his right hand pulled her left hip up and around his body, making her groin come into contact with his erection.

"Damon.."

Her bottoms and panties were off in a heartbeat, and under other circumstances, she would have blushed with how wet she had already gotten from their foreplay, but right now, she couldn't care less. Her hands were working on getting his coat off.

His middle finger dipped into her warm folds, sliding all the way in to his knuckle. Meanwhile, his eyes wouldn't leave her face. It was sinfully erotic that he was watching her as he was doing things to her with his hand. And she was looking right back at him, hissing when he put another finger inside and began to move.

His fingers picked up the tempo and soon, she could hear the slippery sounds of his fingers pushing in and out of her.

Something was building in her body and she clawed at his shoulders, trying to keep herself in check. Finally, her eyes snapped shut, unable to keep them open much longer. Her head lolled back against the pillow behind her. The heat in her kept on rising, until she felt like she might burst out of her skin. Unreal. She had been cold for so long and now she was ready to combust like hot lava. Damon's thumb lightly grazed her clit and that was all it took. She came with a loud moan, her juices coating his fingers.

The orgasm wasn't enough and they both knew it. As soon as the first tremors subsides, Elena pushed Damon's shirt open. She sucked and licked at his nipples, wanting to get as close to him as she could. He hissed above her as her hands did what they had wanted to do this afternoon; opening up the buttons of his pants. His bulge was prominent underneath and she rubbed him in wonder for a moment. Was she really doing this? She had fought him off for so long, afraid of him hurting her… afraid of becoming another conquest… Would she be another conquest after this? There was no way of knowing, but she was too far gone to stop. She wanted to feel again! She had basically been dead inside since her parents' accident and she didn't want that anymore.

Damon's pants came off and she rolled them over, sitting down on top of him.

"What's happening here?" she whispered, her nervousness about getting hurt shining through a bit. He raised a hand up to cup her cheek, smiling at her.

"I don't know. But we can find out together," he answered her.

Agonizingly slow, she sank herself down on him, groaning with how full she felt. His hands grabbed onto her hips, holding on for whatever was coming. Then, she could no longer stay still. She rolled her hips against him as he pushed up. Soon, they had found a perfect rhythm that had them headed for something powerful. Then it happened; Elena felt how white, hot flashes consumed her body. It was the most intense orgasm that she had ever felt….

When she opened her eyes again, light was already shining into her window. New Year's Eve was over and everything was back to usual. She had apparently fallen asleep afterwards. Was he still in bed with her? She was afraid to check the space next to her. Damon never actually slept with anyone. When she felt him move, she released a breath she had no idea she had been holding.

"Good morning," he said in a groggy voice.

"Morning."

His eyes gave her a once over, looking a bit worried.

"Okay, what's that face?" he asked.

"What face?"

"That face," he repeated, as he grazed a finger across the frown in her forehead.

Elena rubbed her eyes.

"I don't know. I guess I'm kind of wondering where this leaves us."

"Isn't that obvious?" Damon smiled.

"Not to me." Elena gave him an almost child-like look; scared of what was to come. "I may have judged you before, but I do know how you are, Damon. You sleep with women and then they are yesterday's news. There's a reason why I was always so apprehensive towards you."

She sat up for a moment, taking a sheet with her to cover up her naked chest.

"Okay, I'm going to be honest here. I've had feelings for you since the day that your brother moved out and you moved in. I was sincerely attracted towards you, but I was afraid to act on it because of the way you were with women. You never seemed serious about anyone. No one was allowed in your bed for more than one or two nights. Why would I be different? Then, I became drunk and kissed you and that threw me. And now, we are here."

"So you do remember," Damon said, raising his eyebrows at her. "You lied to me."

"Because I was scared, Damon. What is this thing between us?"

Damon laid back onto his back and stared up at the ceiling.

"I'm aware of my track record. I always went for the pretty blonde with a nice rack. When you came into my line of vision, I was instantly attracted to you. But you were very obvious about how you felt about me from day one, so I continued with the chase of those women. Somehow, after you confessed some things and kissed me when you were drunk, things shifted. Those blondes didn't do it for me anymore. Stefan was actually worried about me at those Christmas parties. I wasn't picking anyone up or taking them home. I really needed some time to think and stayed away from you longer because of that. When I came home yesterday, you were acting so casual and aloof again that I realized that I needed to give up. You weren't for me. I went out, my friends introduced me to some women and I… I didn't want any of them. I wanted you. Everyone was talking about New Year resolutions. Then, I found myself calling a cab and going home. I want to see where we can take this, Elena. I don't want you to be a one-time thing."

"We're quite a pair, aren't we?" Elena smiled.

"We are."

Her phone rang on her night stand and Elena picked it up. It was Caroline.

"Hey, Elena! Happy New Year! How was your evening? I'm sorry that I was away and couldn't celebrate with you."

"That's okay, Care. I found someone else to celebrate with," Elena confided.

"Really? Who? Did Bonnie come back from her trip?"

Damon took the phone from her.

"Caroline, we're trying to have a good morning here and you're interrupting. So if you don't mind, Elena and I will be going back to celebrate the New Year together. Have a nice day now."

Elena's grinned as he went to hang up the phone, a squeal being heard from the blonde….

"OH MY GOD!"

A/N: Thank you to those of you who have stuck with me through my stories. I'm well aware that TVD is over and that I'm a new writer, so no one knows me. But I appreciate every review, like and follow that comes my way. Happy New Year, everyone. May 2019 be a good one!

Xoxo Mardre.