Chapter 12 – Realisation

Several weeks had passed, and it was already February. The weather was perfect for hanging out in parks, or for having small walks around the block. And on weekends, Kisa and Yukina would be up to one of these things. Yukina was casually hanging out at Kisa's place, and Kisa decided to make a copy of his key and give it to Yukina. In exchange, Yukina did the same.

On weekdays, Yukina was often at Kisa's to study. Although they both knew he didn't really need help, Kisa was also certain that he was just there to spend time with Kisa. And deep inside, it made Kisa extremely happy.

"Kisa-san, I've just realised that our second month anniversary is going to be on Valentines Day," Yukina suddenly said one day. For a change, they were at Yukina's apartment. Yukina was lying on Kisa's lap, and Kisa was gently playing with his hair.

"Really?"

Yukina nodded.

"Wanna do something… special?"

Kisa bit his lips as he considered it.

"Maybe. But I'll be working on that day, and you have school, don't you?"

"Yeah, that's true…" Yukina grunted.

"Look, we don't necessarily have to celebrate it," Kisa said, poking Yukina's face gently. "I mean, I know you want it to be special, but… you see…"

"Hmm?"

Kisa's face went tomato red. He gulped before going on.

"You see, every day is… special with you, so… it doesn't have to be Valentine's Day."

Yukina gasped, his face got slightly red as well.

"That's… That's, like, the sweetest thing I've ever heard!" Now Yukina pulled Kisa into a tight hug. "I love you so much, Kisa-san!"

Kisa had never been good with feelings. Although Yukina said 'I love you' all the time, it still made him embarrassed occasionally.

Everything was alright.

When Kisa arrived at NN High next morning, he almost didn't recognise Kawashima. The first thing he had noticed so early in the morning was that her hair was different. She probably cut it shorter than it was. The long hair she had just a day ago didn't hide her face now, and she looked so different.

"What are you looking at?" she asked with a quirky smile.

Kisa blushed a little.

"N-Nothing, it's just… your hair. Why did you cut it?"

Kawashima swept a lock behind her ear.

"I used to have the same hairstyle in uni, and I kind of missed it."

Kisa smiled. She somehow reminded him of a friend he used to have. Although he doesn't even remember her name now. Come to think of it, Kawashima said something about Kisa looking familiar to her. Why is it that everyone reminds everyone of someone?

Kisa stopped walking in the corridor with a frown on his forehead. Why the hell was it that everyone reminded everyone of someone?

"Kisa-sensei, are you okay?" Kawashima turned towards him when she noticed that he had stopped walking.

"Oh, yeah," Kisa responded. "Sorry."

It was just probably his imagination, but actually, Kawashima looked familiar to him, too. And he couldn't tell why. Maybe it was just because for a moment, she looked like that old friend of Kisa. He sighed. Suddenly, his head began aching. Maybe he needed to stop thinking too much about things that were just mere coincidence.

He took a deep breath, and got himself together. He needed his full attention on his next class. But still… what if there was more to these things than just them being a mere coincidence?

Saturday.

Kisa was at his window, sipping a mug of hot coffee, and Yukina was lying on his stomach on the couch, chewing the end of his pen. A textbook and a notebook was laid in front of him. Like usual, he didn't really need Kisa's help, but Kisa loved that he was around.

"Kisa-san, I happened to walk past a nice pastry yesterday morning. I was thinking that we could get something from there," Yukina suddenly said, and his voice dragged Kisa back to reality.

"Now that you mention it, it's been a while since I've had any sweets."

Yukina seemed a little surprised.

"Huh? For real? Then we're definitely going! I don't take no for an answer!"

Kisa laughed at Yukina's enthusiasm.

"I've never said I don't wanna go, have I?"

Yukina rolled his eyes with a grin. Every time he grinned, Kisa fell in love more and more and more. It was so crazy how Yukina could do that to him with just something like a grin.

"Then it's settled."

Kisa turned back to the window, and Yukina seemed to get back to his studies.

"Also, I've met that lady yesterday as well," he said.

Kisa frowned a little.

"What lady?"

"Oh, you know, the one we ran into the other day. On the bus."

"Oh, her. So what?" Kisa took another sip of his coffee.

Yukina sat up on the couch, and stretched with a grunt.

"Nothing really. I just talked to her. She walked out of that pastry I mentioned. So, we talked, and she said some weird things. I've been thinking about them ever since."

Kisa looked a little taken aback as he was looking at Yukina, waiting for him to continue, but he stopped talking.

"What weird things?"

"Like, how I remind her of her son. But… her son died."

Yukina seemed quite puzzled. He scratched the back of his head as he put his textbook and notebook aside.

"Well, you can still look like what that boy used to when he was alive," Kisa commented. "But come to think of it… a few months ago, I've seen you on the bus I was taking, and-"

"Oh, really?" Yukina interrupted, but Kisa didn't really pay attention to that.

"And that lady was right next to me, staring at you. And then she said something like 'sometimes the ones you love leave you. And people around you remind you of your loved ones.' I think she's been seeing her son in you."

Yukina bit his lips with a sad expression on his face.

"It seems like there's someone who sees someone else in me."

And something hit Kisa. It literally felt like he was hit by a truck… a truck of realisation.

"Did you… ask what her son's name was?" Kisa glanced at Yukina. "I've been wanting to, but I could never bring myself to ask it."

"I actually did, but…" Yukina let out a heavy sigh, "She didn't tell. She was so sad that I felt very bad for asking that."

Kisa nodded, but he couldn't ignore the sudden shakiness that had taken over his body. There's someone who sees someone else in me. Yukina's words kept repeating in his head. The lady wasn't the only one. Kisa had seen his ex lover in Yukina for a long time.

And also, the lady was so familiar to him, and he could never explain why.

His heart was racing, his stomach clenched, and his hands were shaking so bad that Kisa needed to put the mug on the counter. Now Yukina stood up, frowning, and walked towards Kisa.

"Are you okay?"

Kisa took a deep breath. No, it can't be. It was just his mind playing tricks on him.

Now he suddenly understood why he kept asking himself how people around him reminded other people of someone.

"Yukina, grab your jacket."

"What?"

But Kisa didn't answer, just left the apartment with Yukina running after him. Kisa was heading towards the bus stop. He was almost entirely sure about what was going on, but he sure wished he was so wrong about all this. Yukina seemed puzzled when Kisa looked at him, but he was still following at Kisa, and didn't ask questions.

Fortunately, the bus came right when they reached the bus stop, and they hopped on, panting, looking for a seat to sit down. Thoughts were running across Kisa's mind, he was literally arguing with himself. A part of him was certain that he was overreacting the whole thing, and he was about to make a huge fool of his own self. But the other part of him wanted to talk to this lady, no matter what the risks were. He hadn't said anything to Yukina, and Yukina didn't seem to try and start a conversation. Although Kisa was sure Yukina wanted to know what was going on.

When the bus reached the district, they got off, and Kisa looked around on the crowded side walk. His chest was aching. His heart was racing. Now what? They were in the district the old lady said she lived in. But where did she live exactly?

"Kisa-san…"

Kisa turned towards Yukina. He was pointing at something. Kisa looked in the direction of what Yukina was pointing at. It was someone, not something. It was her. Kisa ran towards the lady, bumping into everyone on his way. Several people were yelling at him for running across them like that, but he didn't give a damn.

The lady was standing in front of a flower shop when Kisa reached her. She looked somewhat confused when she turned her glance at Kisa and Yukina.
"Oh, well, well, look who's here," she smiled at them. "Did you guys run?"

"We… did, yeah," Kisa replied, gasping. "I need to talk to you, and it's sort of important."

The lady nodded, but she looked a little uncertain.

"You look pale, darling, what is it?"

Kisa took a deep, shaky breath before speaking, his body was trembling badly.

"Yukina said," Kisa pointed at Yukina behind him, "That you said he reminded you of your son. Right?"

It made the lady sad, but she nodded, and turned her glance down.

"I'm sorry about that," she said to Yukina. "I-"

"Please, I-" Kisa needed to take a deep breath again. He was close to freak out. "Are you heading to the cemetery?"

The lady looked like she was hit in the face. She went pale, and her eyes filled with tears. But then she grabbed Kisa by the hand, and dragged him across the crowd. Kisa followed her, and so did Yukina. He hadn't said a word ever since they got on the bus.

The cemetery was lying on a hill, and the path led up by an old, stone staircase. Up there, the path was grass, with tombstones on each side, surrounded by woods. It looked like the cemetery itself was in a forest.

It was silent. There was some people walking around slowly, some lighting candles, some cleaning tombstones or putting freshly picked flowers on them.

When they got deeper, the old lady stopped so suddenly that Kisa almost bumped into him. He was out of air, and he needed a moment before his breathing was back to normal. He looked around. The sunbeams merely shone through the bald trees around them, and the only thing he could hear was the birds chirping.

"I have… recognised you," she said quietly, taking a step ahead. "We're there soon. Kisa-kun."

A/N:

Hey there. This chapter is quite short, compared to the other chapters, but this is going to speed things up a little bit. Things are going to be clarified. Thank you for reading! ^^

Ricchan