Hope everyone is doing well, staying healthy and not going stir crazy right now.

Ch. 9 Praying to God You Give Me One More Chance

(OWEN)

Clare and Eli are having their spotlight dance when she suddenly wrenches away from him. She starts making her way through the crowd, snaking her way around people. Eli tries to follow her, but the crowd is stopping him or he's just not as good as making his way through. Drew and Bianca stop Clare for just a moment as I begin forcing my way through the crowd. She hands Bianca her crown and runs out of the ballroom. Using my football and hockey moves I easily make my way through the crowd. I run through the lobby and catch up to Clare just as she runs out the doors of the hotel.

"Clare, wait, what's wrong? What did Eli do?"

"I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to see him. I just want to go, to be away from here, away from him."

"Here, have the valet bring my car, I'll go in and get my coat and your purse, we can go anywhere you want," I tell her handing her the valet ticket.

"Thanks Owen," she smiles. "Here give this to Bianca, or whoever was really elected prom queen," Clare says taking off her sash and handing it to me.

I take it and go back into prom, to our table grabbing my coat, her little purse is in the pocket of my coat. I leave the sash on Bianca's chair, they'll figure out that we left. When I get back to the valet area Clare is waiting in the passenger seat of my car. I tip the valet and get into the driver's side.

"Any destination in mind? Or should I just pick a direction and drive?" I ask her as I begin driving.

"Just drive," she says.

I start driving, it's very silent in the car and she's looking out the window. I'm trying to think of somewhere we can go, I'm sure she doesn't want to go home. I'm also sure she doesn't want to go to The Dot or anywhere else with people. Then I remember High Park and Grenadier Pond. It's not too far and there's a dirt access road that will take us to the pond. A quiet place we can sit and watch the water, no one to bother us. On the way over I go through a fast food drive-thru, I get her a chocolate milkshake and get myself strawberry.

"Where are we?" Clare asks when I pull up next to the water.

"Grenadier Pond," I tell her as she takes her fist sip of her milkshake. She's been so trapped in her head this whole time, I wasn't even sure she knew I'd gotten the milkshakes.

"I'm sorry, you paid for prom tickets and we weren't there very long."

"That's okay, we ate, got our pictures taken, I got to dance with one of the prettiest girls in school. I think I got my money's worth, you were even crowned prom queen."

"But, I shouldn't have been. They didn't even look at the votes, Eli had Fiona name us king and queen just to talk to me. After what he did, tried to do, I don't want to talk to him. I don't even want to see him again. He was going to attack me that day, he did attack me. He would have raped me if Adam and Dave hadn't come, I couldn't breathe, I passed out. He may have even killed me. After all that, Eli still thought I would talk to him. Maybe one day I can forgive him, but I'm not ready yet."

"You don't have to talk to Eli, not until you're ready, if you ever are ready. After tonight the last time you'll probably see him is the graduation ceremony in a couple of weeks. Unless he starts stalking you, if he does then you call me and I'll kill him."

"That's sweet, but if Eli starts stalking me my mom will have him thrown in jail. She's already taking every legal action out there against him. I know you wouldn't have asked me to prom without Drew's influence, but I'm glad you did. Up until Eli's deception I was having a good time."

"Yeah, me too. So, about this guy Drew is so worried about, he says it's not Eli."

"It's not Eli."

"But, you're letting some guy sneak in and take advantage of you."

"It's not that simple or that black and white. It's someone I know, well enough to trust him. Drew is making it sound worse than it is. The guy is not an angel, but he can be very sweet and tender when he wants to be."

"Drew says he raped you," I comment taking the last sip of my milkshake.

"He didn't exactly, I mean it wasn't exactly forceful rape. He didn't really let me say no, b…"

"Which I call rape," I comment.

"Yes, I know. He does stop when I tell him to, and that night was fueled by a lot of things. I'm not saying it was right, but it's not as clear cut is Drew is making it out to be. We've been there for each other, he needs me, I do believe he cares about me. He has been caring, tender, even nurturing, but when he's been hurt he gets amorous and a little aggressive. I know it doesn't make any sense and logically I'm more intelligent than this, but I don't know any other kind of relationship. Other than Adam all the men in my life have either hurt me, come into my life when it's convenient for them, or are conniving and use me. I know this boy isn't great for me, that I should tell him to never come near me again, I just can't do it. I do care about him, and the first time he kissed me there was passion, desire, it was electric. As I said, he can be sweet and tender, he's not all bad, and it does feel good to be desired and needed the way he does me."

"Hey, I get it, I haven't exactly been the greatest guy myself. I definitely haven't been the best boyfriend in what few relationships I've had. The only girl I've ever loved, Anya, she and I were great together when were great, but a total disaster all around. She used me to get back at her parents, got high, danced with other guys, the few real dates we had did not go well. She even used me when Dr. Dreamy dissed her, and then I taunted her with the facerange posts. Not one of my finer moments. She used me to help her get in shape for the army, and our final date, was last year's prom which I'm pretty sure was a disaster for everyone. As much of a disaster as it was there was definite heat, desire and passion. I think it's what kept drawing us together."

"Yeah, that's what it's like with us, and even with Eli."

"Speaking of men that have hurt you, any word on Asher?"

"Trial start on June 19th, Jake and Glen leave on the 12th, cross country road trip to get Jake to UC Santa Cruz. They don't need to be there though, my mom will. Alli, Jenna and Adam, even Drew said they would be too. It's going to be terrible, a large part of me doesn't want to do it, but it's the only hope of getting any sort of justice."

"I don't leave until August, I can be there too, or at least be around if you need me."

"Thanks Owen, and thanks for tonight, for everything tonight. I couldn't have asked for a better prom date. I really did enjoy prom with you, and this, this was perfect, but I think I'm ready to go home now."

"Then home it is," I smile.

We talk a little on the drive to her house, mostly about summer plans. When I drop at her door she thanks me again and kisses my cheek. I wait until she's inside and drive home, my parents are asleep and Tris is at a friend's house. I change out of my suit and take a shower before going to bed. I sleep pretty well and wake up late Sunday morning. My parents are out and Tris is still at his friend's house. I don't feel like making breakfast, so I put on some clothes and deodorant and go to The Dot. I get some coffee and a couple donuts, sitting outside since it's a nice morning.

I'm just finishing my breakfast when I see Fitz emerging from the woods that border the ravine. The second I see him it's like getting hit in the head with a frying pan as the epiphany hits me. Clare's guy, the one she's inexplicably drawn to, the one that hurts her but needs her, cares about her and desires her, it's Fitz! It all makes perfect sense now, I feel like I should have put it together sooner. I wonder if Drew knows that it's Fitz or not? I toss my trash and walk across the street to confront him. I know that he cares about Clare, but he needs to start acting like it.

"Hey Fitz," I call running across the street.

"Oh, hey Owen."

"What the hell have you been doing with Clare?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I think you know exactly what I'm talking about. Sneaking in her window, sleeping there, taking advantage of her, raping her, h…"

"I didn't rape her," he interjects angrily clenching his fists.

"You didn't give her a chance to say no, that's rape Fitz. You wanted it and you never considered her. You're bad for her, and yet she still cares about you and still wants you. If you care about her at all you'd better show it. Be a man that deserves a girl like Clare, stop using her when it's convenient for you and be there for her. I know you can be good for her, I know those good qualities she sees in you, so start making those better. I know that you two could be great for each other, if you work at it. Don't you think Clare deserves a man in her life that takes care of her, nurtures her, loves her and takes care of her needs?"

"Of course she does, Clare deserves everything," Fitz says in a defensive tone.

"Then man up for her," I tell him and walk away. Fitz isn't the brightest, but I've known him for five years, and I know my words are sinking in. I know he'll do what's right.

(CLARE)

"Hi Spin," I greet walking into The Dot. It's late Thursday afternoon, prom was last Saturday. It's been almost a full week of summer and the seniors graduation ceremony is next Saturday. Thankfully, I have not seen Eli since prom, I haven't even heard from him. I also haven't really seen Fitz, he's been at The Dot a few times working when I was there. He has not come to my room at all, and I can't exactly confront him at work. He's not just avoiding me away from work, but he'll barely look at me even when serving me in the café. I've been both worried and feeling a little rejected.

I've spent a lot of time at Adam's with the brothers and Bianca, and Dallas when he's home. Owen's been there a couple times too, he's surprisingly good company, and very good looking, but I'm not letting myself fall for him. I like Owen, but he's leaving in August, what kind of relationship could we have? We are becoming pretty good friends though, which is nice. As demented and horrible as it may be the only boy I want right now is Fitz.

"Hey Clare," Spin yawns.

"You look tired," I comment watching Spin lean heavily on the counter.

"I opened, Fitz should be on now. Alice has the flu and no one else is available until five. This is the second shift in a row that Fitz has missed, and his phone goes straight to voicemail. I'm pretty worried and as soon as I'm off shift I'm going to report him as missing to the cops. This isn't like him at all, even if he can't come in he's always called."

Spinner's words make my heart drop, knowing everything Fitz has been through the possibilities run through my mind. None of them good; did he go back home and get beat so bad he's in the hospital? Did he run into his stepbrother again? Did a fight get out of hand? Is he even still alive?

"Two shifts and you haven't heard from him at all?"

"Yeah, like I said I'm worried. Fitz isn't like this, not anymore anyway and every time he's been…" Spin pauses and looks at me choosing his next word carefully, "sick before and unable to come in he's always called. Hell, he's usually here when I think he should've stayed home."

"It's okay, I know about his home life," I say in a low voice and Spin nods. "Have you checked the ravine? His friends?"

"No one's seen him," Spin nods.

I feel like I can't breathe, like I'm drowning in this whirlpool of fear. Very rapidly images of Fitz lying beaten to death in a field, bleeding out near the ravine, stabbed in an alley, and beaten to the point of unconsciousness in his own home rush through my head. I feel like I might throw up or pass out, before I can do either some other kids come through the door. Spin asks if he can help them, and I run outside.

The air feels good, but I still feel sick. I don't know what Fitz's car looks like or where he keeps it. So, I go to the only place I can think of that Fitz might be. I run to the ravine, I've been here before, of course it's been a while. I didn't like it back then either, and now somehow it looks worse. Kids sit around the fire pit, the smell of beer and pot is heavy in the air. Kids are laughing, I can hear two of them having sex in the van. A few guys leer at me, but no sign of Fitz. He could be in the van I suppose, but instinct tells me he's not.

Leaving the ravine as quickly as I came I start walking, but I have no idea where to go, no car. It's very hot and I never did get a cold drink at The Dot. I feel lost, and panicked, realizing just how little I know about Fitz. I have no idea where to even begin looking, but I know someone that probably would. I sit in the shade and get my phone from my purse.

"Hey Clare," Owen answers his phone. He sounds a little out of breath.

"I need help looking for Fitz, I don't know where to look," I tell Owen in a slightly panicked tone.

"What do you mean you need help looking for him?" Owen questions.

"I was just at The Dot and Spin said Fitz missed his last two shifts in a row. He's tried calling and Fitz's phone goes straight to voicemail. He wouldn't just miss two shifts, not without calling in. I'm really worried Owen, I just know something is wrong."

"Okay, where are you now?"

"The school, I checked the ravine, but he wasn't there."

"Stay where you are, I'll be there in ten minutes."

I put my phone in my purse and lean back in the shade, closing my eyes. All I can see is Fitz hurt and broken somewhere, or dead, and the thought he might be dead chokes me. When I hear a car approaching I open my eyes and Owen parks next to me.

"Something must have happened Wednesday," Owen says getting out of his car. "I saw him working Tuesday when I went in, he would hardly look at me after I confronted him Sunday b…"

"What do you mean you confronted him Sunday?" I question.

"About sneaking into your room, I figured out it was him. That's not the point, I've seen him since then, and Fitz wouldn't just take off. I know he's gotten into the school a few times to shower, we can check there. It's not very likely though, teachers have been in there, if he were hurt or something in the school he probably would have been found."

"Let's check anyway, guess we should check everywhere around the school. Do you know where his house is?"

"Yeah, but I really hope he's not there. I'll call Officer Turner, he can go by Fitz's house," Owen tells me. He gets out his phone as we start walking towards the back of school. "Hi Officer Turner, could you go by Mark Fitzgerald's house for a welfare check? I don't think he's there, pretty sure he hasn't been sleeping at home in months, but he also hasn't been to work in two days," Owen says into the phone. I can hear Officer Turner talking, but not what he's saying. "Yeah, Clare and I are out looking for him, I'll call if I find him," Owen says and then he says "Uh-huh" a couple times before hanging up.

"What did Officer Turner say?"

"He'll go by Fitz's place, they have the address on file since Fitz has been arrested. He'll also talk to Spinner," Owen tells me. We're now at the back of school near a service door, one that is apparently broken as Owen is able to easily get it open. Owen holds the door open for me and we go in, and I follow Owen to the boy's locker room.

Fitz isn't there, we check a few more places within the school and then go back outside. Owen and I walk the entire school perimeter, checking the bleachers, and especially inside the tree line. Owen says he knows a few more places along the ravine to check, so I follow him as he starts walking. We're still walking along the ravine when Officer Turner calls back. Owen puts the phone on speaker, so we can both hear.

"Fitz wasn't at the house, Fitz's mom said she hasn't seen him in weeks, no one else was home. I spoke to Spinner Mason and he expressed his concern as well. He didn't know where to look though. I put out a be on the lookout for Fitz's car. Meanwhile I'll check hospitals, shelters, that sort of thing. If we find anything I'll call you back," Officer Turner informs us.

"Thanks Officer Turner," Owen says before hanging up and putting his phone back in his pocket.

"Hospitals? Shelters?" I squeak out.

"We'll find him Clare. Fitz has been through a lot and come through it all, he'll be okay. Come on let's keep going."

I nod and follow Owen, but every passing minute without sign of Fitz brings every terrible thought of every terrible possibility to my mind. The more time passes it's snuffing out my hope of finding Fitz alive and well. After over an hour searching up and down the ravine and no sign of Fitz we start walking back to the school. Owen is mumbling to himself about other places we could look, I'm thinking about all the things that might have happened to him and hoping he's even still alive. Just as the school comes into sight again Owen's phone rings.

"It's Officer Turner," he tells me pulling it from his pocket and putting it on speaker again. "Did you find him?"

"Yes, he's being taken to St. Michael's by ambulance. He was in his car, parked in an alley a couple blocks from his house."

"Will he be okay?" I question.

"He was beaten pretty bad, and he's had the injuries for a couple of days without medical attention. He was struggling to breathe when I found him, I'm honestly not sure," Officer Turner says and it truly frightens me how devoid of hope his voice sounds.

"We're almost back to my car, we'll head straight there," Owen says and hangs up the phone.

Before Owen even has his phone back in his pocket we take off running to get back to his car. I just keep thinking that Fitz has to be okay, he's got a future and he's got me. I don't know what we are to each other, how he feels about me, and things will need to change, but I do care about Fitz deeply and that won't change.

We're silent on the way to the hospital, Owen parks and we go into the emergency entrance. Officer Turner is here and so is Spinner, they both look at us when we come in. I see Spinner wondering why I'm here, why I'm so scared, but he doesn't say anything, not yet anyway.

"Any word?" I question.

"No, the doctors are still looking at him," Officer Turner says.

"It was his stepdad or stepbrother I'm sure of it," Owen growls.

"Easy Owen, we'll find out who hurt Fitz and he can press charges. I'd inform his family, but I don't think they care. Is there anyone else we should call?" Officer Turner asks.

"Bianca, Lucas, Johnny, they'd want to know. I'll go call them, you going to be alright for a few minutes Clare?" Owen asks and I nod.

"So," Spin ventures when I sit in the chair next to him, "when did you start caring so much about Fitz?"

"We've been…kind of seeing each other for a few weeks," I reply. I'm really not sure how else to put it without recounting the entire story and I don't want to do that.

"What does kind of seeing each other mean?"

"It means that's all you're getting from me just now," I respond just as Spinner's phone rings.

"That's Paige, I'll be right back," Spin tells me and gets up. Officer Turner is on his radio and I'm left with the terrible sounds of the emergency room until Spinner comes back. "Paige will be here as soon as she gets off work," he tells me sitting back down. He has the good sense not to ask me any other questions.

"Everyone's on their way, Drew and Adam included, you know they're going to have questions," Owen remarks sitting on the other side of me, "well except Drew."

"I still have questions," Spinner comments.

Spinner doesn't ask them right now and we sit there in relative silence for a few moments. Finally, a doctor comes over to speak to Officer Turner. They put their backs to us and speak in hushed voices, I'm absolutely terrified this means Fitz is dead or won't make it. After a moment the doctor rushes back down the hall and Officer Turner turns to us.

"Fitz has some internal injuries and internal bleeding, he's in emergency surgery now. If he gets through that he'll be okay, but they'll keep him here at least three days for observation. After that he'll need a place to rest for a week or so, a clean safe place. I can look into some safe house possibilities or…"

"No," Owen says cutting Officer Turner off, "no he'll stay with us. I've known Fitz for a long time, he can stay in my room, I know my family will agree. We don't have the biggest house and my parents have only met him a few times, but they'll agree."

"Okay, good, I have to get back to the station, but I'll be back later. I've asked the doctor to keep me informed."

"I'll put him on medical leave at work, his job will be waiting for him when he's better," Spinner speaks aloud, though mostly seems to be talking to himself.

A few moments after Officer Turner leaves Drew, Bianca and Adam come in. Before we can tell them what the doctor said Johnny and Lucas come in.

"Okay, start talking," Adam says to me after we've told them what the doctor said and everyone has taken it in.

Bianca and Adam have pieced some of it together, and Drew butts in a few times to add to the conversation. I tell them pretty much everything, including how I feel and why I can't just stop seeing Fitz or caring about him. Bianca understands and thinks I'll be a world of good for Fitz. Drew and Owen already gave their opinions, Spin just seems too shocked to say anything. Johnny and Lucas think Fitz and I would be great together, but like Owen do say that Fitz better pull himself together to be with me. Adam is very quiet, I am sure a great part of him believes I'm rebounding from Eli. Of course, he may be just waiting to see what happens, if my feelings stay the same now that it's all out in the open.

We're at the hospital for hours, Paige comes and Spinner fills her in. Some people get food from the vending machine or go to the cafeteria, but no one is all that hungry. Officer Turner comes back when his shift is over at seven. The longer it takes for the doctor or anyone to come talk to us the more I worry something went wrong. A little before eight a the same doctor finally comes out.

"The surgery is done, he'll be out for a while still and we he's being moved to ICU. He came through the surgeries and we stopped the internal bleeding. He was also pretty severely dehydrated so we're giving him IV fluids. He's young and strong, he should pull through just fine, but we'll still keep him here for 72 hours observation to be safe. Especially with the amount of scar tissue he had. Does he have a safe clean house to rest at when he leaves here?"

"Yeah, my house," Owen says.

"Good, and now I suggest you all go home. He won't wake up for at least an hour, and he'll be very groggy. You can come back in the morning, he'll be ready for visitors by then."

I don't really want to leave, but I don't think I have much of a choice. Drew offers to take me home, but Owen says he'll do it. We get in his car, and as exhausted as I am I'm not tired. I feel more frenetic, restless and I don't want to be home.

"I can't go home, I won't be able to sleep, can we go to the place you took me on prom night?"

"Yeah, of course, you'd better text Jake though, have him cover for you."

"What about you?" I ask as I get my phone out.

"No curfew," Owen shrugs, "I'll text when we park so they know I'm alive."

I text Jake to tell my mom I'm sleeping at Alli's and tell him I'll explain everything tomorrow. He says okay, but I better be safe wherever I really am. Owen parks in the same spot, sends a text to someone, and then we sit there watching the moon on the water. When the silence becomes too much I ask Owen how he met Fitz and he spends the next few hours telling me stories about him Bianca, Fitz, Johnny, Lucas and Bruce.

"Will you take me back to the hospital? I need to see him, to see for myself he's still alive. Ever since Turner told us he was being taken by ambulance I've had this sort of internal panic. I'm not sure it will go away until I see him."

"Yeah, I know what you mean, I'd like to see him for myself," Owen nods starting his car up again.

There's music playing in the car, but otherwise things are silent, and it seems like the drive to the hospital takes forever. We get to the hospital and go in through the emergency entrance as it's all that's open at this late hour. Then we have to convince the desk nurse to let us go to Fitz's room, but she finally allows us to go up.

We find Fitz's room easily enough, and I hold my breath as we go in. His heart monitor making a steady sort of music, I know he's alive. The sight of him takes all the breath from my body. Hooked up to wires and IVs is the least of it. His face is swollen, one eye so back it won't open, a bandage on part of his face, and more peeking out from his gown. He has oxygen in his nose, which means he needs the oxygen, but at least it's not a breathing tube.

"Fuck," Owen exhales under his breath, it was barely audible but Fitz's eyes still open.

He looks at Owen first, and then looks at me, "I'm sorry Clare." His voice is dry, choked and scratchy the words hardly make it past his lips.

"For what? You didn't do this to yourself," I reply as I fight back the tears.

"Not this," he says reaching his hand for me and I move forward taking his hand. He interlaces our fingers, rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb.

"What happened Fitz? You had us all worried, I'd say I need to keep a better eye on you but you'll be recouping at my house, so that shouldn't be a problem. I know my parents will agree and we'll be sharing a room, but you're recouping at my place."

"Thanks Owen, I appreciate it," Fitz says and stops to cough. "I went home, I needed some more clothes. My stepdad was there, drunk watching TV, he didn't see me at first," Fitz stops to cough again and Owen pours him some water from the pitcher at his bedside. Fitz takes a sip of water and continues. "I got some things stuffed in my backpack, but I was going so fast I didn't hear him coming up the stairs. When I left my room he was waiting for me, he accused me of stealing. I told him to go to hell, tried to move past him, get down the stairs and get out, but he pushed me."

I shut my eyes and cringe, a tear escaping from my eye as I picture Fitz being tossed down the stairs. I hear him hitting the bottom, I feel sick just thinking about it.

"Fucking bastard," Owen says.

"The wind was knocked out of me, I was dazed, and he came down the stairs. He kicked me in the face and I blacked out for a minute or so. I woke up when he kicked my stomach. He just kept kicking, I could barely cover my face, I thought he was going to kill me, guess he grew tired of it or thought I was dead. It was hard to breathe and I couldn't move, but I was more afraid to stay there. I managed to get up, sort of staggered my way to my car. I coughed up some blood, and got in my car. I remember lying down, pulling my jacket over me, and that's about it. I was pretty in and out of consciousness, slept a lot, couldn't even move to get my phone from my pocket, everything hurt too much."

"Oh, Mark," I breathe tears rushing down my cheeks. All I can think about is him having to stagger two blocks to car; alone, beaten, bloody. If his car hadn't been found he could have died there, it's a terrifying thought. Fitz takes several sips of water but squeezes my hand.

"If your stepdad isn't arrested this time I will gather the hockey team and go beat the living hell out of him myself. You could have died Fitz, I mean fuck it's been bad before, but I never thought he'd actually kill you. You're never going back to that house, you'll stay with us, you can take over my room after I leave for school."

"Hopefully, by then I'll have a place of my own," Fitz says to Owen before looking at me. "I know I haven't shown it Clare, not really, but I do love you. I am in love with you, and I have been for a very long time. I haven't been a man worthy of you or your love in return, but if you give me another chance I will prove that I can be. I love you with all my heart Clare."

I'm still crying and can't respond just now, but I lean over placing a soft kiss on Fitz's lips. His lips are very dry, parched and he winces slightly, but he responds to the kiss, an electricity passing between our lips with each breath because it's a kiss of true love.

I hope you enjoyed this short story. Replacing this is "Passion at First Sight" a Slare forbidden romance crackship story.