T'was the night of Christmas and everyone was well fed

Sitting in their chairs with paper hats on their heads

Ianto was sipping the wine Jack had poured

Pretending he hadn't just been scrubbing the floor

.

Gwen sat sullenly chewing some ham

Rhys sat beside her sniggering into his hand

Ianto's eye slid over to warn with a glare

Gwen dropping her head to hide behind what was left of her hair

.

Tosh was sipping on wine as well

She for one felt rather swell

Ianto had not scolded yelled or blamed

Tosh knew she was not needing to feel any shame

.

Owen however sat still at the end in a strop

Toilet paper shoved up his nose with his paper crown in a flop

Ianto's eyes slid to him next

Owen smiled bravely like it might be a test

.

The Elf on the shelf was a molten mess

A clump of burnt plastic with his life gone west

No one was admitting to who set the fire

Owen knew the moment was dire

.

Finally Ianto cleared his throat

Looking around like seeking a vote

"Enough, it seems Buddy is simply dead"

Owen relaxed too soon as Ianto added "Let's watch the CCTV instead"

.

Tosh nodded and soon Owen was on the verge of weeping

As on the screen they watched him creeping

Then the whoosh of flame and poor Buddy was toast

Owen dancing on screen in a silent boast

.

Jack cleared his throat and looked at the little man

Who clearly had not thought through his plan

"So … you killed the elf" Jack said with a huff

Owen leered like he thought he was tough

.

"Keep it up little shit" Ianto said in that tone of warning

That told them all the night was going to be far from boring

Owen tired to look like he was not scared

The entire vibe seemed a little weird

.

Ianto reached up and tapped his forehead

The warning giving Owen a feeling of dread

His own hand moving to the large egg forming

Form Ianto's head butt received in the morning

.

Ianto settled back to sip some more wine

He was starting to feel just fine

Jack relaxed as he saw Ianto smile

The wine selection might be worthwhile

.

Rhys watched the entire thing with glee

He would have happily paid a small fee

He never knew Ianto was such a funny fucker

Capable of making such lovely tucker

.

Gwen was relieved the day was almost done

Wanted to go home and then sleep some

Tosh was also thinking of bed

Her little plastic tiara still placed on her head

.

Myfanwy watched over her flock with delight

All in all it was not a bad night.