Alone
Disclaimer-If I had a million Aliens…well I don't. (;_;) Alien is Giger's and Fox's.
A/N-I'm glad the new and improved chapter 2 was liked, and my email addy has been added to my profile (I don't know why it wasn't there in the first place, quite honestly. Must've checked the box in my new account glee). If there's any suggestions for improvements, things you don't understand, whatever, don't hesitate to drop me a line. Here's your new chapter, peoples! Enjoy.
WARNING: Violence and blood. Yup. Not into it, don't read.
==
I had hunted for hosts many times after that, and my sisters cherished me for my knowledge. The Great Ones even respected me.
But after I had gathered what Mother called the perfect host, the host I came from, the humans, I was assaulted by strange hormonal patterns. I could recognize some of them: nervous, fear, pain; but there were new ones. I wanted to ask Mother about them.
I crawled into her chamber, carrying my host. I handed it to a worker, like Mother told my sisters to, and watched as it traveled down the tunnels to the egg room. It would use the resin that secreted from the tubes we all possessed—save for the Great Ones—to plaster the human on the Hive wall. Mother's eggs would then become alive, and implant the younglings without difficulty.
Mother, I greeted. She looked at me and grinned.
Little One. What troubles you?
I hesitated, unsure of what to say.
Mother, I experienced strange chemical patterns while we attacked the humans inside their craft.
Oh? Mother asked, sounding curious. What sort of patterns?
I…did not want to kill. It was strange.
There was a pause. I see, Little One.
Why did this happen to me? The sisters did not mind.
The Queen sighed, shifted herself slightly and gazed at me. Little One, you are something new.
So I am…different?
She trilled softly in agreement. Yes. You are different as I am different. You serve nothing.
I am no Queen, Mother.
I know, Little One. And this makes you a liability to the Hive.
Why?
She leaned close to me, very seriously, no amusement present in her approach. Her mindspeech lessened in volume, and I sensed it was for me to hear only.
The others serve me unquestioningly, Little One. They do not think about my orders, or the Outside, or the hosts. They do as I tell them, as soon as I tell them. But you…I fear you may have conflicting desires.
I bristled. The Hive is foremost in my mind, Mother, I informed her curtly.
No, Little One, that is a lie. Because of your difference, YOU are foremost in your mind.
I started to argue, but her words held truth. Did that mean the others were limited? I was that different from them? Then another realization came to me: Did, perhaps, Mother not care for the others? Did she not care for the Hive? Only for herself?
No, no. That made no sense. Mother was the Hive. And she cared for the others, she had birthed them!
I was apprehensive, though. I knew that if a Praetorian did not molt and flee the Hive in time, it was killed. There could not be two free-thinking ones of the same Hive so close.
So…you will kill me? I asked, fearing.
Never, Little One, she answered with a sigh, laying one of her smaller hands gently on my head, You are closer to me than any of children. I cannot cause your destruction without pain.
Why, Mother?
She removed her hand and grinned, revealing a secret. It is called emotion, and sometimes it is very limiting. But other times it is wonderful.
I cocked my head in curiosity. Will you explain?
It is the chemical pattern you spoke of. Here, you feel for your sisters, do you not?
I do not understand.
If your siblings died at the hands of humans, how would you react?
I thought, and I imagined the scene. This, I said, and sent her the hormonal pattern I received. I…would kill them, even if you did not order me to. I would rend the humans so they would feel pain, as much pain as possible. I paused, confused. That is emotion?
One of many, Little One.
There is more? I asked, somewhat stunned.
She rumbled her laughter. Yes. Much more.
There was a scream. Our conversation ended as Mother's thought of pleasure echoed throughout the Hive.
Children, the younglings are coming!
I grinned, inner mouth protruding in glee. Younglings! A new generation, new hope for our race!
I shot past Mother to the egg chamber. She roared playfully at me.
Be careful, Little One!
There were sisters all over the egg chamber, on the ceiling, the walls and the floor. They moved slightly to make room for Mother, all of us touching, all of us waiting.
A human child screamed. I strained echo vision to watch it. The scream seemed to please Mother…but it felt quite different with me.
"MOMEEE!" the child shrieked. It inhaled sharply, eyes bulging, and then with its voice growing higher in pitch, "MOMEEEE!"
The youngling then burst through the struggling human in a blast of blood. Simultaneously, every sister opened their jaws, tasting the air that was now heavy with the scent of death. The child's corpse writhed, and then was very still. The youngling squealed, looked from side to side, and then went to Mother.
It was still coated in blood.
This…was wrong. Very wrong.
What is wrong, Little Sister? One sister asked me, picking up my thoughts. The younglings are here!
I watched as another screaming human child exploded in shower of gore and blood, and a youngling screeched and slithered out.
It did not know it had killed. It didn't know it had killed a life that had thought and screamed and struggled. The fact upset me greatly, for some strange reason. I was confused; I should be overjoyed, like all of my sisters were. I shouldn't have this…emotion that told me that this wasn't right.
Then I saw the female that I had carried.
Of all of the humans, she screamed the loudest. She screamed for her mother, for her father, for death. She screamed until the youngling tore open her ribs with a sickening crack, a mist of blood with flecks of muscle tissue shooting out from the human girl, staining some sisters that were close.
I backed away, unable to watch, seeking some sort of comfort.
Killing was wrong. It was wrong.
Then why did Mother order it? Then why did Mother sanction it as something good?
I ran to the Outside, feeling the wind against my carapace and the cold night air.
After the birthing, I thought, I will ask Mother.
And I will tell her we must stop.
==
Mother…I whispered. She turned to me, busily secreting resin so the workers and drones could get her back up on the high wall of the Hive.
Little One! I did not see you at the end of the birthing. Were you hungry?
No Mother. I was troubled. I hesitated, and then said, It was another…emotion, I think.
Oh?
I think…we should no longer kill. Killing… it is wrong, Mother. It is wrong.
She stared at me silently. And then she rumbled, as though she were amused.
Stop killing? Stop killing, Little One? It is impossible! We kill to live!
I was silent, listening, feeling crushed.
Your battle was just new. You never had hosts that fought back before. The way Mother simply tossed my cares away…it infuriated me.
The humans wanted to live, I replied, trying to hold back my anger.
And we killed them, she answered simply, Yes?
I…don't want to kill.
There was a mixed feeling of confusion and…anger, from Mother when she spoke next. What do you mean, Little One?
I do not want to kill, I repeated firmly, And I will not serve you if you kill.
Little One, Mother said with an edge in her thought-voice, I care for you deeply, yet you will follow my desires.
I could stand this no more. You give birth to children, you teach me of the Outside, yet you find nothing wrong with stripping ones of their lives? I bellowed back.
I do what I must to survive, she answered coldly, And so do you. What stains your tail, Little One? It is blood, the symbol of your chains to me. You need blood. And I can give it to you.
I do not desire blood, I lied.
Mother grinned, she knew every secret of mine as though it were her own. That is a lie, Little One.
I hate you.
For the longest time there was nothing but my utter hatred of the Queen filling me with each breath. As soon as I said the words, she flinched, as though she had been struck by some impossibly large creature. She stared, not believing.
…What? She said finally, pretending that she had not heard correctly.
Something in those words had hurt her. I strove to make her hurt again, hurt for the pain I had caused. I hate you, I repeated, the vehemence still present in my tone.
I stared. Mother stared. I heard nothing but Mother's breathing, noticing how it was speeding up in her rage.
You will take back your words, she said in a tone that was so furious I nearly fled. Instead I stood there, watching her rear up to her full height, watching her jaws open menacingly, watching her inner mouth jut out, dripping in saliva.
I hate you, Mother. I hate you.
She roared and launched toward me so suddenly I leapt to the side. Her powerful claws swiped air. I bolted.
Mother screamed again in fury as I barreled down the tunnel of the Hive. I could hear sisters gathering behind me. Fear encouraged me to run faster.
Unfortunately, it is difficult to outrun danger that is everywhere.
Sisters roared, slashing at me with claw and tail. I still ran, leaving burning blood and bellows of pain in my wake.
I shot past the Great Ones, not before my tail was slightly lacerated by their iron claws, ignoring their frightening roars, and continued to run in the Outside until I could no longer hear Mother's roars of anger.
I stopped then, throwing myself to the ground, panting, desperately trying to gather myself together.
Suddenly all of the lacerations…all of the horrible pain…it flooded into me with such strength I screamed. I felt a malevolent presence in my mind, forcing my body to accept the pain twofold.
Mother.
I concentrated as well as I could through the agony and feebly ripped at my psychic link to her. It tore, only slightly, and the pain increased. I shredded at it again, feeling the pain surge through my mind and body like a chaotic sea of torture, feeling Mother snarl and roar, feeling…
Free.
My mind let out a soft sigh. Suddenly, where Mother had been, there was nothing.
Just me. Alone.
Relief…wonderful, peaceful relief flooded through me, past the pain, past my fear, past my exhaustion. Despite that I had been battered, banished from the place that had been my entire universe, and the realization that Mother would stop at nothing to find me, I felt no fear.
Because I had won.