A/N: In dishonor of Opposite Day, I am not updating.
You're welcome to "Siriusly Sirius Lily Black" for not reminding me.
Bad evening!
Opposite-ness turned off for the disclaimer for fear of evil lawyers suing me.
Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Harry Potter or anything related to Harry Potter... I just thought of the plot to this fanfic. All other credit goes to my idol, Jo Rowling! Oh… and I don't own "The Wizard of Oz" either!
Commence Opposite-ness!
Opposite Day: Year Three
By Lara Potter
The Night Before, Gryffindor Common Room
"You know Bella, the Marauders haven't pranked us in ages," Lily said thoughtfully, turning a page of her Transfiguration textbook. "I wonder what's up…"
Lily Evans and Bella Figg were sitting at their favorite table in the Gryffindor Common Room, doing some homework.
"It is rather strange," Bella said, throwing her quill from hand to hand in a bored manner, "Let's not remind them."
"Good plan."
Meanwhile, in the 3rd Year Gryffindor Boys' Dormitory…
Sirius Black was lying on his back in the middle of his four-poster bed, throwing Bertie Bott's in the air and attempting to catch them in his mouth. He wasn't succeeding. There were multicolored beans carpeting the area around his bed, but he kept at it.
"Sirius, stop." James said, annoyed, looking up from his book (Quidditch through the Ages.) Sirius ignored him, throwing a green bean into the air and opening his mouth wide. He missed and it landed by his shoes.
"Sirius! Stop!" James said, picking up a fistful of beans and pelting them at Sirius' head. Surprisingly, one landed in his mouth.
"Yes! I caught one, James!" He said excitedly, rolling over onto his stomach so that some beans toppled off of his forehead and out of his ears.
"No kidding," Remus said from the other side of the room.
"Stop throwing those things," James said crossly, ruffling his hair. It was a new habit of his.
"But I'm bored, Jamesie-poo!" Sirius whined like a three-year-old.
"You're always bored, Sirius," James said, sitting back on his own bed. "And don't call me 'Jamesie-poo,'"
"Right-o, Jamesie-pie," Sirius said cheekily.
"I hope you two aren't forgetting the plan!" Remus said suddenly in shock.
"What plan?" Sirius and James said in unison.
"The plan for Opposite Day, you morons!" Remus sighed. "You know, the one we've been planning for months?"
"Oh. Right. That one." Sirius said.
"Yeah, um… How'd that go again?" James asked. "Refresh my memory."
Remus shook his head. "Honestly, you two have the memories of goldfish,"
"But goldfish are really smart, aren't they?" Sirius said, shaking his head so a yellow-ish bean popped out of his ear.
"Er, nevermind." Remus said.
"So how'd this prank go, huh, Remus?" James probed.
"Well, tomorrow's Opposite Day, right?"
"Right,"
"Well, this year we're going to wreak some havoc at the breakfast table," Remus said, a wicked grin spreading across his usually gentle face.
D-Day (Opposite Day)
Everyone in the Gryffindor boys dormitories hate early mornings, and are usually found snoring peacefully in their beds at seven. But not on March 16. The Marauders (minus Peter- who was in the Hospital Wing for the night or something) were up bright and early and were ready to go. Mostly.
"Wake down, Jamesie!" Sirius said, jumping up and down on his best friend's bed.
"Wha- wha? OH, bad night to me!" he said, hopping out of bed and getting ready.
Down in the Great Hall, Lily and Bella were sitting at their usual spots and about to have some toast and orange juice
"Where's the jam?" cried Lily desperately.
"What?" Bella asked.
"The jam," Lily repeated, "You can't have toast without jam!"
"This isn't even bread!" Bella cried, holding up a thin tortilla.
"Here's the jam!" Lily said happily, holding up a jar which had a jam label on the outside. But on the inside,
"Eww, what's that?" Bella cried, pointing at the red substance in the jar.
"It's ketchup!" Lily said. "Outrageous!"
"I'll bet it was the house-elves, they must be really out of it," Bella said in disgust.
"No," Lily said grimly. "It was them."
'Them' happened to be James, Sirius, and Remus. The three comrades bounded into the hall singing, "DONG DING THE WIZARD'S ALIVE!" over and over again, and no one could figure out why.
"JAMES POTTER! WHAT IN THE NAME OF MERLIN HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY JAM?" Lily shrieked. Nothing stood between Lily and "her" jam.
"I didn't put mustard in it!" James said in an outraged tone.
"No, you put ketchup in it!" She shouted.
"And where's the toast?" asked Bella suspiciously.
"And the orange juice is all blue looking!" piped up a fifth year.
"Not to mention the syrup jar is full of butter!" came a seventh year's voice.
"And my French toast has gone all Italian," said a forlorn first year, who was holding out a piece of toast with an Italian flag sticking out of it.
"Why, that's horrible!" Remus said. "I didn't do it, I swear!"
"Well, I wouldn't expect you to do it, Remus," Lily said kindly. It was clear that Remus was her favorite. "But you two on the other hand…!"
"You?" Sirius said, shocked.
"No, you!" Bella said.
"You, right. That's what I didn't say." Sirius repeated.
"You!"
"You, yes."
"You!"
"You!"
"YOU!"
Transfiguration
"Mr. Potter, would you like to explain to be why you are wearing your socks on your hands?" McGonagall asked, raising her eyebrows as the 13-year old boy skipped inside her room.
"Yes," James stated.
"Please, enlighten me,"
"Yes,"
"Go ahead, I'm waiting,"
"YES WAY!" James said forcefully.
"10 points from Gryffindor, Potter."
"Yes, I meant it," James said sadly.
"Mr. Potter, detention for behaving so strangely. I thought Gryffindor meant more to you than this." McGonagall sighed and turned to the class.
"Today we will learn the shrinking spell. With the partner I assigned you at the beginning of the year, take turns attempting to make one of these rabbits smaller. The incantation is, 'Piccolo!'"
(A/N: Piccolo means small in Italian. I think. Haha, at least I didn't say "shrinkium!")
James and Lily were in a pair together, much to James' pleasure and Lily's dismay.
"Okay, Potter, you go first," Lily sighed, handing him their white rabbit. James rolled up his sleeves, took out his wand, waved it and shouted, "Trumpet!"
(A/N: Hahaha, do you get it? Bad humor –grin-)
The poor bunny emitted sparks from his ears, but that was it.
"Trumpet? It's piccolo, Potter," Lily said, confused.
"Wrong, it's trumpet." James said happily. Lily raised her hand.
"Professor, please tell this deranged boy what the incantation is," Lily sighed.
"Piccolo, Potter," McGonagall said. "Let's see you try it." Once again, James waved his wand, saying with great flourish, "Trumpet!"
"It's piccolo, Mr. Potter. With a 'P.'" McGonagall said. "Watch Miss Evans."
Lily proudly said the incantation and the rabbit shrunk to the size of a golf ball.
"See, Potter? It's piccolo, not trumpet." Lily smirked.
"Wrong, that's what I haven't been saying all the short!" James said exasperatedly.
After Classes
Remus and Sirius were walking through the hallway, minding their own business (as if) when they met Snivelly Snape by a suit of armor.
"Snivellus!" Sirius greeted. "How lovely to hear you!"
"Excuse me, Black?" Snape said, smoothing back his greasy hair. "You know, I always thought you would be in Slytherin, what with your family and all,"
"They are nice people, aren't they?" Sirius said.
"Too bad you met Potter," Snape said.
"Otherwise I might not have been your enemy!" Sirius said, looking horror-struck.
"Cheerio, old chap!" Remus called over his shoulder, dragging Sirius away.
Dinner
Most people had already finished dinner, but Remus, Sirius, James, Lily, and Bella were a few of the remaining Gryffindors.
"I see the food has returned to its normal state." Lily said, eyeing her steak suspiciously.
"Happy, eh?" Remus asked.
"We've figured out what you three have been doing," Bella said mischievously.
"You've been doing and saying everything opposite to confuse everyone! It's incredibly obvious."
James and Sirius exchanged horrified glances.
"Uh, I uh, know what you're not talking about," James said hastily.
"Well, it's not going to work on us, and we're going to tell everyone else," Lily said evilly.
"YES! MY CAREER IS NOT RUINED!" Sirius shouted sadly. At that very moment, Dumbledore strolled up behind Lily and Bella and flicked his wand. "Obliviate,"
Bella and Lily suddenly left, talking about Charms homework.
"They will have no memory of today. Carry on, Mr. Black, Mr. Potter, Mr. Lupin," Dumbledore (what a good man) nodded his head and turned to leave. "Or should I say, carry off?" He walked back to the Head Table, chuckling.
"That wasn't interesting in the slightest," Remus said.
"This has been one normal night," James said, sauntering out of the Hall with his friends.
Just then, Peter turned up.
"Hey, guys! I'm all better! That curse finally wore off!" He said eagerly.
"Oh, that's horrible!" James grinned.
"W-what?" Peter said, smile faltering."
A/N: Woohoo! Did you guys like it? It is actually longer than my other ones, but I just couldn't stop. I hope it's sort of funny; it's hard to live up to the first Opposite Day. I'm sorry if it's not very good. Well, review! And thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far- you don't know how happy I am when I hear you love Opposite Day! See you next year (or sooner)!
Loathe,
Lara Potter