AN: After writing the first chapter of this yesterday, today I sat down and wrote Dipper's POV. Because I have no self-control apparently.

Dipper had severely underestimated his nephew. Yes, Ford might come off as awkward and anxious and somewhat sweaty, but their time playing Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons and their encounter with Probabilitor yesterday had proved he was far more capable than Dipper had given him credit for. Dipper had taken the opportunity today to read the entries Ford had made in his journal, and he was surprised at how thorough and insightful Ford's notes were, not to mention the nature of the adventures he and his brother had been on over the summer. Ford was clearly well on his way to becoming a paranormal investigator just like Dipper. And the sweatiness was probably only a temporary hormonal thing.

He had just finished reading the entry on their encounter with the shapeshifter and was about to start the next one when his journal was snatched away from him. "What are you doing down here?" he demanded of his sister.

"Getting you. I need you to come upstairs for a minute. Then you can have this back," she answered, waving his journal carelessly in the air like it was some dime store novel and not very important research.

"I'm working on preventing the end of our entire universe down here." Well, technically he wasn't working on that right this very second, but Mabel didn't know that. "Whatever you want can't be more important than that."

"How do you know? You didn't even ask what I wanted you to come up for. Maybe a monster is attacking the kids and trying to eat them right now."

Dipper froze for a second, then realized there was no way Mabel would have come down to get him so casually in that situation. In fact, she wouldn't have come down to get him at all; she would be too busy beating up the monster herself. And honestly two monsters in one day was a bit much even for Stan and Ford. "I don't care what it is, just give me my journal back," he said, reaching for it.

"Nope. You can have it back after you come upstairs," Mabel said, tucking the journal in the secret pocket she knitted inside all her sweaters. Which meant if Dipper wanted to steal it back from her, he would have to reach up his sister's shirt.

"Fine. One minute," he said.

"Five minutes," Mabel countered.

"But – ugh, fine," Dipper said. "Let's get this over with then."

Once they had both loaded up on the elevator and begun their ascent, Mabel gave him a look. "Pacifica is my friend, more or less." Because of course that was the urgent thing Mabel needed him to deal with: meeting her friend. Never mind they had agreed to wait until after the boys had gone home to reveal Dipper's return and begin sorting out that unholy mess Mabel had made of things in her efforts to steal his house. "She's also been through a lot, so don't be rude to her."

"I'm not rude," Dipper protested.

"Yeah, yeah, save your baloney for someone who'll swallow it," Mabel said.

Ugh. This again. "Mabel I told you, I'm not going to thank you for putting our entire dimension at risk."

"Yeah, well what about for saving your wrinkly old butt?"

"You can't expect gratitude for trying to clean up a mess you made."

Mabel almost certainly had another retort for that, but before she could make it the elevator doors slid open. She stomped the rest of the way up the stairs, through the house, then pointed Dipper into the hallway to the main entry. As he walked past her through the doorway she hissed at him to, "Be nice."

Standing in front of the open door were Stan and Ford, animatedly telling a tale to the blonde woman standing just outside. "And the best part was, we still got back in time for the second showing of the Duck-tective finale," Stan said.

"That was better than no one getting their brains eaten?" the woman asked, smiling at him in amusement.

"Eh, second best then."

Dipper walked the rest of the way into the room and cleared his throat. "Mabel insisted I come up here?" he said.

The three looked up at him, and for a moment the woman looked surprised. A second later her expression smoothed over and she offered him her hand. "Yes, hi," she said. Dipper looked down at her hand. As a general rule he tried to avoid handshakes, but he was back in his home dimension now. Shaking hands was a part of everyday life, and he'd have to get used to it again. He glanced up at her eyes quickly to confirm their bright, light blue color and lack of elongated pupils, then accepted the handshake. "I'm Pacifica Northwest. You might not remember-"

Dipper dropped her hand and took a step back, satisfied he had fulfilled the societal convention and not been rude, Mabel. "I remember you. You were that obnoxious little girl with the pet fox," he said. Though admittedly he might not have remembered her if he hadn't recently re-read all of his journals upon returning home. It had been a long time ago.

Pacifica faltered for a second before continuing. "Yes, that was me. My son Preston told me a little about what happened today and-"

Dipper rolled his eyes. "I should have guessed he was your kid." Obnoxiousness ran in that family. And no doubt she was here to inform him her son didn't need saving the same as he had done, right after Dipper had gotten through saving him.

"Another link in the chain," she snapped, and Dipper readied himself to get in yet another fight today. Yes, Mabel had asked him not to be rude, but Pacifica had started it. Except immediately after that she paused for a moment to visibly calm herself before continuing. "Look, I came here to say thank you for helping my son earlier. And also… that day when you came to the mansion, that was the first time I'd ever really heard anyone say anything bad about the Northwest family. I wasn't ready to listen then, but what you said, everything you said, stuck with me. And when I finally did have to face the truth, I had your voice in the back of my head reminding me that wasn't what I wanted to be anymore. I didn't want to be another link in the world's worst chain. You made me a better person, so, thank you."

"Oh. I, uh…" That wasn't what Dipper had been expecting. That wasn't even remotely in the same dimension as what he'd been expecting. He had made her a better person? He didn't… Dipper was a scientist, and while he might hope to improve the world through his discoveries, he wasn't the sort of person that helped foster personal and emotional growth in others. He had apparently once told a small child she was a link in the world's worst chain; he was shockingly terrible at people. And yet here now was that same child all grown up and thanking him for making her a better person. That was… He didn't even know what to say to that beyond the traditional, "You're welcome."

Obviously and understandably underwhelmed by that response from someone who was apparently supposed to be her hero, Pacifica began backing away from him. "Great," she said. "That's all I really wanted to say, so I'll-"

"Pacifica, wait." Mabel, bright loud Mabel who could move like a ninja when properly motivated, had moved from roughly next to Dipper to standing directly behind Pacifica and was now propelling her forward into the house by the shoulders. "You can't leave already. You've never even seen the Mystery Shack before, have you?"

"No I haven't?" Pacifica said uncertainly.

"Perfect! Dipper can give you the tour right now," Mabel said, and then gave Pacifica one last shove, nearly sending her toppling into him.

"What?" Dipper said. That was weird, even for Mabel – well, no not for Mabel. But it was on the weird side of her normal, and the only conclusion Dipper could draw was this whole thing had been a plot by her to once again undermine Dipper, this time by making him look bad in front of her friend. "Mabel, I don't give tours. I especially don't give tours of the kitschy side show you've turned my house into," he told her.

"Dipper, stop being an idiot jerkface." Mabel reappeared at Dipper side so she could elbow him in the ribs, hard. "Don't listen to him Pacifica, he'd love to give you a tour."

Oh god. Now he knew what she was doing. Mabel wasn't trying to undermine him, she was matchmaking. Was she insane? This would never work. Dipper was a scientist, a serious and intelligent researcher of the paranormal. Pacifica was… well, obviously she wasn't the obnoxious socialite that Dipper had assumed she had become based on the obnoxious brat she used to be. He supposed he didn't actually know that much about her at all, aside from her being Mabel's friend. And, whatever issues he had with her currently, Dipper had to admit his sister was usually a pretty good judge of character. Dipper could probably also infer Pacifica got along well with his nephews, based on the tail end of the conversation he'd heard. She'd come out to see him to thank him, so obviously she was gracious and confident and self-assured, not to mention rich and younger and gorgeous, and holy cow was Mabel insane? This was never going to work.

"I wouldn't mind that," Pacifica said, and was she blushing?

"You wouldn't?" Dipper asked, too surprised to do anything but echo her. Hadn't she been backing away from him slowly a minute ago?

"Only if you want to," she said. She smiled at him and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Of course he wants to!" Mabel answered for him, and honestly at the moment he couldn't even be mad about that. He didn't know that he would have been able to do it himself. "Now come on you two munchkins, you need to come help me make dinner. You're staying for dinner, right Pacifica?"

"I don't– Preston-" Pacifica stuttered.

"Preston's invited too. It wouldn't be a family dinner unless the family was all here, would it? Great, that's settled. To the kitchen boys, chop, chop," Mabel said, quickly ushering Stan and Ford out of the room.

That left Dipper and Pacifica alone, and Dipper had absolutely no clue how he had ended up in this situation. Which was a serious problem because how was he supposed to replicate his results if he didn't know how he had achieved them? He couldn't insult her family again; he was pretty sure that had been a onetime thing.

He cleared his throat awkwardly. According to Mabel he was supposed to be impressing Pacifica by giving her a tour, and was he absolutely certain this wasn't a plot by Mabel to undermine him? "I, uh… I'm really not good at giving tours. Mabel would be able to do it much better." Probably best to start by setting expectations low.

"If you don't want to…" Pacifica said.

"No," Dipper said immediately, only to realize that might be construed as meaning that no he didn't want to. "I mean yes." Except that might mean he was agreeing with her assertion that he didn't want to. "I mean I want to. I…" He reached up unconsciously to run a nervous hand through his hair. Luckily he managed to remember his stupid birthmark at the very last second, and he clenched his fist and moved his arm down before he could accidentally show it off.

Okay. He could do this. Just be smooth. Dipper smiled at her and offered her his arm. For two heart-stopping seconds of panic Pacifica just looked at it, and then she placed her hand on top of it and smiled back at him. Okay. He could do this. Possibly. Possibly he could do this. Okay.

Dipper took a deep breath and began the tour.