Note: My style of writing AOGG fic is typically book heavy with some influence from the show Anne with an E. There are a few characters from the show that don't appear in the book, but you don't need to be acquainted with them to understand this work. Other than that, it's mostly book material.

I'm so thrilled to finally be posting this first chapter. This fic has been stewing in my head for weeks, so I hope you're as excited as I am to begin this adventure. This story will consist of chapters in alternating perspectives - one of them being a historical Anne (the Anne we know and love from the books) and the other being a modern Anne (similar to the Anne of GGF, except spelled Ann). The first two chapters will give us some insight to where each separate girl is in their lives, and this first chapter begins in the historical setting before the switch has occurred. I hope this has clarified your understanding a little!

Standing in the darkness of the ballroom corner, Anne Shirley watched the dancing couples fly across the room in a flurry of whirling skirts to the rhythm of the waltz. Everything had gone according to plan: the preparations, the ceremony, and thus far, the reception. Anything less than perfect would not have been adequate. Diana Barry deserved the best, after all. That went without saying.

The ceremony was certainly right out of a daydream, with its flower garlands, string quartet, and crystalized colors echoing on the walls like dancing shadows from the chandeliers. Dozens of compliments were paid directly to Miss Josephine Barry, who'd a knack for planning elaborate celebrations and did so annually. But none of the previous soirees or banquets could compare to this magnificent occasion, planned for the bride by her most kindred spirit. Anne had truly outdone herself.

She really should have been happy. After all, she'd never heard of a wedding that didn't have at least some small little blunder to speak of. But Anne couldn't help but feel a little bit...well, she might as well come out and admit it - she was jealous.

In the privacy of her own mind, Anne mourned how right the event was. Diana made the perfect bride, and contrary to Anne's expectations, Jerry Baynard wasn't all that shabby of a Prince Charming. Each polished spoon and lacy white decoration only suited Diana's passage into wifehood. Here in this bridal castle, alive with celebration and exuberance, Diana was the queen - queen over a man who adored the very ground she walked on, queen over her new household, queen over a lifetime of happiness. The most beautiful queen that had ever been born in Avonlea.

Anne, on the other hand, felt like a homely side ornament for Diana. She could never hope for such grand celebrations on her behalf. Certainly, Aunt Jo had told her that if she chose to remain unmarried, she could earn the money to host such a celebration, but Anne had a feeling it wasn't going to be her choice.

If she were to tell the truth, she'd say that she really did yearn for a married life. She ached for a lifemate, her partner and equal. Perhaps it was selfish, but Anne had hoped in the weeks leading up to Diana's wedding that if some small little thing went wrong, it would mean Diana's wedding wasn't to be a seamlessly perfect event. No such inconvenience occurred, and Anne was forced to face the reality that girls like Diana were meant to have resplendent weddings. Girls like Anne were left to have no weddings at all.

"You know, you seem rather dejected for a girl whose best friend is the midst of the happiest day of her life," a deep, familiar voice said beside her. Anne didn't have to look away from the waltzing guests to know who it was, but merely leaned her head onto his shoulder.

"I'm not dejected , Cole. I wanted nothing less for Diana today. If I did, I wouldn't have planned everything so…" Anne sighed. "Dazzlingly exquisite."

"Then why are you radiating such dark waves, oh picture of joy?"

Anne did look to Cole then, and she could tell immediately that he knew what ill feelings plagued her heart. He simply wanted her to tell him herself, to speak her mind instead of brewing alone in her sorrow.

"The last few weeks of planning this wedding and seeing how Jerry and Diana truly complete one another has made me realize that I am not the marrying sort."

Cole frowned.

"You don't want to get married?"

"No, I do, but can you imagine someone looking at me like that ?" Anne looked over at Diana and Jerry dancing blissfully in each other's arms. There was no denying the adoration in Jerry's eyes, how his love for Diana blossomed from the center of his heart and grew throughout his entire body like a blinding light. "It's simply impossible."

"Oh Anne," Cole reprimanded gently. "Someone does look at you like that. Only every time he does, you pretend not to notice."

"Not this again," Anne moaned, turning her back to him. "No matter how many times you say it, it doesn't get any more true. Gilbert Blythe does not care for me like that."

"Shall I provide you proof? Look at him with Moody over there. Go on, Anne, look."

Anne's heart dropped to the floor when she finally gained the courage to look up

Gilbert Blythe was a sight to behold, with his suit all primly pressed for his best-man duties. The contours of his face were lit by the warm chandelier light, making his cheeks look like sunsets of gold and rose. Just to gaze upon him made Anne feel strangely unsatisfied, as if there was something missing, a hole that was craving to be filled. With what, though?

It only seemed to worsen when he gazed back at her, an unfortunate circumstance for the present moment. True to Cole's prodding, Gilbert's eyes were locked on her in an intense fashion that she could always feel on the back of her neck. The connection of their gazes lit Anne into red fire, and for a few moments she sat there simmering, aching. She hoped he would look away first because she couldn't find it within herself to move, but instead he only smiled. No coy, teasing wink. No smirk of boyish taunting. Genuine affection that Anne could feel as presently inside her as if he were standing just before her brushing hair away from her face.

"Now, I think that has put an end to your nonsense," Cole murmured into her ear. Anne felt more heat flood into her rosy cheeks when she realized her friend had watched the silent exchange. "Go dance with him."

"N-no," Anne stammered shakily. Somehow she couldn't bring herself to admit that he was wrong, not when Gilbert was looking at her like that. "I think I'll go steal a dance with the bride."

As Anne ventured through the room, she wanted nothing more than to lock herself away in a room with Diana and speak all that was on her mind. But there were to be no more late nights with her bosom friend, no more jumping on beds or pretending to be princesses. Those days were buried in a distant past, and had been for years.

Oh, why did everyone have to grow up and change? Why did Diana have to get married and leave her forever? And why did Gilbert insist on looking at her as if she was the most precious thing he'd ever seen?

Diana might have sensed the raging storm in Anne, had she not swallowed it in time for Diana to lay eyes on her. The endless beauty of bridal white and crystals spun to greet Anne with a euphoric grin.

"Mr. Baynard, I do think you have been monopolizing your darling wife far too long this evening," Diana teased, extending her hand to Anne. "For the next dance, I believe her interests lie elsewhere. Anne, have you room on your dance card?"

"I'd be delighted," Anne said with a chuckle. The two spun away with an explosion of very unladylike laughter, too busy desperately holding onto one another to correctly perform the steps of the waltz. Eventually, their giggles subsided and Anne pulled Diana close into her arms.

"Anne, what's wrong, dearest? If you hold onto me any tighter, I think I'll turn to dust," Diana said gently. Anne only squeezed a little and buried her face into Diana's shoulder.

"You know, I always wanted a sister. Now I have one and I already have to let you go so soon."

"Come on Anne, you know you'll see me just as much as you always did! I'm not going to let married life get in the way of our friendship. You're just as much my family as Jerry is."

"My mind knows it, Diana, but my heart refuses to see reason. I feel like my feet are glued to the center of the world and everything is moving so fast around me. I can't catch up."

"You'll figure everything out, Anne," Diana comforted. She ran a comforting hand down Anne's head, and it was all the redhead could do to not let tears trickle down her face. Pulling back, Diana took Anne's face in her gentle hands and Anne had a stray thought that Diana would make the most spectacular mother one day.

"I know in my heart that your feet will get unstuck soon. Next thing you know, we'll be planning your wedding." Diana's eyes glanced over to where Gilbert was standing with Jerry, the pair of lads watching the girls dance.

"Not you too," Anne muttered, pulling back. "I simply cannot fathom why everyone believes I should marry Gilbert Blythe."

"Oh, Anne, I didn't mean to upset you. You just seem so taken with him these days. You've spent practically every day together at Redmond studying, even though you're both enrolled in different programs! With your graduation just completed, we've all assumed that his proposal was inevitable and-"

Anne had heard quite enough, and was quick to intercept whatever terrible thing was about to come out of Diana's mouth.

"Look at that, Diana! Jerry is positively glaring at me. It seems I have stolen away his wife away for too long. I think I'll go get some fresh air on the veranda. Aunt Jo says the view of Charlottetown all lit up is positively breathtaking. I'll return shortly."

"But Anne!" Diana tried to reach for her, but Anne was too quick to press a kiss to her cheek and scurry away.

The escape wasn't very genteel in nature, but the feeling of fresh cool air in her lungs crashed into her like the summer tide. With the sun safely set beneath the island horizon, the breeze had taken a slight chill that cooled Anne's skin from the lace of her own white dress. Aunt Jo's veranda was truly as magnificent as the rest of the estate, with its view over the city and white marble columns.

Shuffling up to the edge of the balcony, Anne leaned at the railing and tilted her face up to the stars.

"Will you align for me, too?" she asked all the flickering stellar brilliance. Maybe her luck had run dry the day Marilla decided to allow her to stay at Green Gables. Anne shook her head - that was a terribly ungrateful thought to have. She'd never exchange her life at Green Gables for anything. But now that she had tasted happiness, was she to now go without it for the rest of her life? Was her happiness meant to stay stagnant where it was when she was the fresh age of eleven, never to grow?

Suddenly, her thoughts came to a screeching halt.

His presence was tangible behind her, though she didn't hear him come outside. She waited for his to say something, expectant when he finally called out to her.

"Anne, I've come to see if you're feeling alright. You looked pale when you left," Gilbert said gently into the night air.

"Just a bit lightheaded. It's dreadfully warm in there with all the lights and people and dancing," Anne lied. If she was at all dizzy, it was because even from here she could smell the spicy, earthy scent of him from across the balcony. It was enough to make her knees weak. Gilbert knew Anne well enough to see through the lie, but also knew when to allow her to keep her secrets.

"Alright," Gilbert he replied carefully. He paused, as if deciding what to do, then cleared his throat. "Would you like some company?"

Against her better judgement, Anne replied with a smile, "Always."

Gilbert fell by her side, leaning his elbows on the railing just inches away from hers. Hunched over, Anne saw the lines of his back, the strength of his shoulders, the moonlight in his hair. The universe certainly was trying its best to paint this man as her ideal, she realized. Never before had Gilbert been so capable of appearing so melancholy and handsome. The girls of Redmond college certainly said otherwise. It was truly unfair that forces unknown should tempt her with her own preferences in a man that was so very...not her preference - at least romantically. Gilbert was her preference in a conversation partner, dinner company, a friendly rival, and a best friend. In fact, she rather preferred his company more than anyone else's with the exception of Diana.

"What's on your mind, Anne-girl?" he asked finally, peering up at her with those hazel eyes that sometimes her dreams tormented her with.

"Anne-girl?" she replied with a chuckle.

"I heard Miss Barry call you that earlier. I like it." He nudged her shoulder with his. "Don't think I don't notice you sidestepping the question."

"I'm not! It's just that nothing particular is on my mind."

Gilbert quirked a brow, thoroughly unconvinced.

"Given the events of today, I find that impossible to believe." Anne was silent for a moment, her fingers fiddling with the smooth ivy that engulfed the railing.

"Oh alright," Anne gave in with a sigh. She knew she could trust Gilbert with some of the aches in her heart, if not the aspects that had to do with him. "When we were children, I suppose I always foolishly assumed that Diana and I would find happiness around the same time. That fate had us traveling parallel roads."

"You're not happy?" Worry sent a frown on his lips that made Anne feel a little guilty.

"I'm happy enough," she admitted. "Oh, I feel like a dreadful person. Pretend I never said anything."

"I'll do no such thing!" Gilbert straightened his back and turned to face Anne head on. "Not until you tell me what's bothering you."

Anne crossed her arms over her chest, averting her gaze from his. What was the point in telling him? There wasn't a single thing he could do to point her on the right path. Nevertheless, she opened her mouth and it was like an electric switch had been flipped.

"Everyone is growing up and deciding what they want to do with their lives. Meanwhile, odd Anne Shirley is weeks into her graduate life and has no idea where her place is in the world. With Diana married, she won't have any time to spare for me, I just know it! And Jane is planning on spending the summer in England for missionary work. Even Marilla and Mrs. Lynde have been organizing a Lady's Aid for the church, and have barely been home. Everyone is doing something with their lives and I can't seem to make up my mind about anything. Not about my vocation, not about you-"

She froze, hoping that if she covered her tracks soon enough, he wouldn't catch the little slip, but he was too quick. Gilbert had gained some wisdom about Anne in their years at college, and decided to pretend he heard nothing - even if it did make his heart skip a bit to replay it in his mind.

"I think I know how you feel," he admitted.

"Now that can't be true, Gil. You've known about what you've wanted to do since our schooldays."

"Maybe in general, but certainly not specifically. There are many branches of medicine, you know. I could specialize in the brain or in general practice, if I wanted. Something tells me I'll make a wonderful surgeon, but I'm not sure if that's what I want."

"I suppose that's what medical school is for, is it not?"

"It's not just that," Gilbert grumbled, a bit frustrated with himself. Anne turned to him and searched for his eyes. She hadn't seen any of this turmoil in him before, and they saw each other practically every day. "I have what you would call an ideal in my head of what I want my future to be. There's a white house on the shore, trees, children, laughter and fun…"

Anne dropped her gaze to the ground. That sounded an awful lot of what she'd always dreamed of as well. Unaware of her embarrassment, Gilbert continued.

"I want a simple country practice, Anne. I want to be a reliable, compassionate doctor. Someone the people can trust."

"You'll have all those things, Gilbert. I know that for certain." He was like Diana - favored by the stars and by fate. Handsome and smart, there was no way he'd ever lack in happiness or success.

"But there's something important missing right now, and I'm afraid that if I don't gain it now, if I don't earn it, then my life will always be lacking true happiness."

For a split moment, Anne wondered what it could possibly , she looked up at him and her heart halted in her chest. The deepest parts of her soul gave a sigh of anticipation and yearning at the desire in his eyes, like it wanted to be consumed by him. The sensation was overwhelming and foreign, leaving Anne stranded at his side unsure of what to believe and feel. Gilbert took her silence to muster his courage and ask something he wanted to know above all.

"What did you mean before about not being able to make up your mind about me?"

Even in her indecisiveness, Anne knew that this conversation was about to cross a line that she wasn't prepare to travel over. His eyes were too intense, begging, serious.

"Gilbert, it was nothing. Can we pretend I never said anything in the first place?" Gilbert took a step closer to her, and Anne countered with a few stumbling feet backwards until she was pressed against the railing of the veranda.

"If that's what you want, Anne, but avoiding me like this isn't going to help you settle on any decisions. If you're not honest with me or with yourself, you're never going to make up your mind about what you want in life."

"And just what do you think I want, Gilbert Blythe?"

"I think you want someone to stand beside you and love you. I think you want someone to be your equal and support you no matter what path in life you decide to traverse, just so that you won't be alone when fate tosses you around." Anne fought back the urge to touch the redness of his cheeks, keeping her fists clenched at her side as he continued. "I've not been honest with you all these years, Anne. Not completely."

The truths of her mind and heart overcame her for a moment and she whispered in a silent plea, "I already know, Gil. You don't need to say it."

"I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't. Anne, I-"

She quieted him in the only way that she could. She grabbed him by the collar, pulled herself up onto the balls of her feet, and kissed him. The second her lips made contact with his, Anne felt herself dissolving, but Gilbert wrapped his arms around her before her knees could crumble. She wrapped one around his shoulder, pulling him closer until there was no space for secrets, fears, or longings between them. It was an overwhelming onrush of sensations, with his mouth kissing her with the unrestrained passion he'd locked inside for years and his fingertips gently caressing her cheeks and down her neck. Anne let herself surrender to the need to remain in his embrace, safe and loved, ignoring the cries in her mind that she shouldn't be doing this. This was Gilbert Blythe, childhood confidant, loyal kindred spirit.

But oh, she could suddenly imagine very simply being a doctor's wife and having a curly haired, hazel-eyed family. The images came to her mind without any resistance at all - a white house surrounded by dozens of wildflowers, a neat little corner to write in, a husband who looked dreadfully like Gilbert. She could see it all, and she wanted it.

She wanted it enough to let him trail kisses down the soft lines of her chin and down her neck, leaning into him when she felt she might melt into him completely. The sensitive skin erupted into shivers when he lingered at the cleft of her throat, and she ran her fingers through his soft hair.

Then, with a shaky exhale, Gilbert lifted his head back up and looked into her half-lidded eyes.

"I love you," he said quietly, reverently.

Reality came crashing back onto Anne, and she fought the urge to tear herself out of his arms and run away. Any hopes and dreams she'd drowned in while he kissed her were gone now, replaced by her own logic.

"I...I don't know how I feel, Gilbert," she confessed in a frightened whisper. "There's so much I don't understand about myself, so much I haven't decided or discovered. And then there's Roy to consider. He's-"

" Roy? " Gilbert nearly spat. He knew all about Royal Gardner - the wealthy, melancholy English student who had been vying for Anne's affection since the day he'd offered her his umbrella in a storm. He sent Anne flowers, composed sonnets to her eyes, showered her in gentlemanly praise. He also despised Gilbert, and once openly blamed him for his own failure to capture Anne once and for all.

"Yes, Roy. He cares for me so, and I sometimes I think I must care about him too." It was a dagger in Gilbert's heart and he set his jaw. "But then there's you , Gil."

"What about me?" he replied flatly.

"I don't know yet." Anne took a steadying, shaky breath. "I need time."

"We're running low on time, Anne. Gardner is going to want an answer before you move back to Avonlea."

"What about you?" Anne said, crossing her arms in front of her chest as if to hold her beating heart from breaking out of her.

"I'd wait forever," he vowed in a low tone. "I'd rather not, but if you need time, Anne. You'll have it from me."

"Alright," Anne said, inhaling late spring air. She gave one last look at Gilbert and his red lips and mussed hair, all effects of the kiss that still had her vibrating with something unknown. Reaching forward, Anne straightened his tie and collar, effectively restoring him to a presentable state, then ran her thumb over his cheek. The skin was damp, whether from sweat or a stray tear, she didn't know. Then she distanced herself a few steps away.

"Enjoy the rest of the celebration, Mr. Blythe."

He watched her evaporate into a silhouette against the lighted doorway leading to the manse, artwork in the frame of the present, the past, and a barely attainable future.

/

Diana and Jerry left for Toronto for their honeymoon at dawn, leaving Anne waving after their departing faces on the morning train.

"Our train is next," Gilbert said, adjusting his suitcase in his hand.

Anne hadn't been able look him in the eye since their accidental tryst at the wedding the night before. In fact, she hadn't been able to sleep, think straight, or look at herself in the mirror without picturing the passionate embrace she'd initiated in the moonlight. She rather wondered if it had happened at all, since Gilbert had mastered the art of acting as if nothing had happened.

"I think I'm going to take a walk up the tracks and enjoy the morning sun for a few minutes. These warm days are so freshly new to us, you know," she said.

Gilbert knew precisely what she was trying to do. He flashed her a look in his eyes that said very clearly, You can't avoid me forever, but have it your way, and then nodded.

"Would you like me to come find you a few minutes before the train arrives?"

"No, I should be able to keep track of time well enough by the shadows."

Gilbert wasn't convinced. He pulled a copper pocket watch from inside his coat and handed it to Anne. She held it up to her ear and listened to the emphatic ticking. It was plain in appearance, but she'd seen it enough times to know that it had once belonged to John Blythe. She even knew where his initials had once been engraved on the side, now rubbed away with time and wear.

"Here, for security's sake. Marilla will have my hide if I'm late in getting you home," Gilbert continued.

"Thanks," she said, biting her lip under his gaze. "I won't be gone long."

As she headed down the railway platform and into the loose grass, Anne couldn't help but feel as she were walking away from something forever, like the last pages of a book before the cover finally is closed. She stopped and turned back to see Gilbert standing on the platform looking after her with his hands in his pockets.

He raised one hand and waved. Anne, forgetting for a minute the events of the past night, smiled and returned the gesture.

Then she turned her cheeks to the summer fragrance being carried on the wind, and walked along the worn railside.