My realization was not a quick one.

It came slowly, in bits and pieces. It was the little things that eventually grew so large that it hung like a shadow over my head. The tone he used when he spoke of her. The moments we walked through the village and he looked as though he was looking for something. The constant concern over her and her troubled heart. The final moment that tumbled the house of cards I had created was a look. The expression in his eyes that spoke of never ending devotion and a yearning while she cried for her traveling love that she feared would never return. I had waited what felt like my whole life for that look to be directed at me, and yet that look was for her. Sakura. Everyone assured me that Naruto's feelings for her had transformed into a platonic love. No one had seen what my all seeing eyes had.

I felt the pain almost instantly. I had to close my eyes and look away, for I knew once I opened my eyes again that my world would never been seen the same again. I pooled my courage and quietly excused myself. They never broke eye contact with each other as I stood. They continued on in a kind of communication that after almost a year and a half I still could not even attempt to replicate. On my walk back to our home I stared blankly ahead wondering how my eyes and my heart could so easily be fooled. After our first kiss beneath the full moon, I thought my fairytale was beginning. We were together from the moment we landed on the grass and had rarely separated since. The touches and the kisses had touched my heart and soothed the pains I had carried for so long. I had finally gotten the love I had so deeply wished for from him but it was a more shallow love than I had hoped. I thought that he would grow to love me more deeply and earnestly over time. Yet that point never came no matter what I attempted to do.

After I let myself into our home I looked around I could no longer ignore the realization of my shattered heart. I poured myself some tea in hopes that it would remind me of better, stronger, days. But I could not bring myself to drink it. I stared into the steaming cup hoping against hope that I could return to this morning before a look had burned my life plans to cinders. All I could see in the reflection was the pink tinge around my blank eyes, that spoke of unbearable sorrow that I could barely contain. My plan for a life with Naruto and a family to call my own was slipping away as quickly as my tears wished to run down my face.

A knock at the door pulled my attention from my grief. As I slowly peeked through the door I saw a head full of dark hair overlaying a black wrap. I make eye contact with his single visible obsidian eye. I pulled the door the rest of the way and stepped out to greet him. He looked confused at encountering someone other than the owner of the apartment.

"Hello Uchiha-san. I did not know that you would be returning today. Welcome home." I said as genuinely as I could in my state. His gave a slight upturn of his lips in reply.

"Thank you. My business brought me close to the village so I figured I would stop by. Does Naruto still live here?" He drowned out in monotone.

"Yes, but he is currently with Sakara-san at Ichiraku's... if you are in need of him." I managed to say in what I hoped was a controlled voice. I had been told that he had grown a lot in his travels but I still did not think that he was one to listen to tearful women. He stood up straighter, gave a nod, and started to turn away. He paused and seemed to dig into himself for a moment.

"Is everything alright?" It had sounded oddly like he was concerned but in a mildly standoffish way. I opened my mouth to deny that anything might be wrong but I looked into his face. A look appeared that I couldn't recognize. It spoke to something inside me. It made me feel as if by telling him, that it might settle my heart that was slowly turning to ruin as the minutes passed by. My hesitation must have been enough of an answer because he turned to fully face me.

"Would you happen to have any tea? I'm rather thirty." he asked.

"Oh, of course. Won't you please come in." I bowed my head and gestured for him to move inside. He nodded gratefully and stepped through the threshold.

"Please take a seat while I get you some tea. Would you like something to eat as well?" I slid gracefully into the mode of hostess. Distraction had always helped ease my troubles.

"No. I'm fine. Just tea." He never was a man of many words. I nodded as I set about to prepare the tea.

There was a comfortable silence as I set his cup in front of him and seated myself across the table with my own cup. He took a few sips while taking in the sight of the apartment. When he finished his perusal, he turned to look at me.

"What's troubling you?" He ask empathetically. Or rather what I took as empathetic. I took a moment to gather my thoughts before I replied.

"I'm not sure how much you know about Naruto and I. We started dating after I was kidnapped by Toneri and we've been together almost every day since. Things were going so great that almost 6 months ago Naruto asked me to move in with him. I thought we were in love but today…" I took a deep shaky breath. I wanted to keep it simple but the word flew from my mouth as I stared at my cup. " Have you ever loved someone so much, only to have them love someone else more? I have tried everything in my power to make him love me, truly love me, and he still looks at Sakara as if she is his guiding light. I felt that something was missing from us. I felt it and yet I ignored it. All the small things that as I sit here and I look back at moments that I should have seen what it was. I am just not who he wants, I'm who he's settled for. I've loved him my whole life and now I feel like I have wasted it because even now my love is not enough for the both of us. The look in his eyes when she was crying was a look he has never given me. It was a look of love I can scarcely find the words for. To know that after this long of us being together I'm not his first choice hurts so deeply. I just wish I could go back to pretending that I had never seen it so that I never had to feel like this because I honestly have no idea what to do now."