Apologies to Led Zeppelin, please don't sue me.

I have no idea where this fic came from. I was hitting writers block with my One Piece Big Bang fic and Milo (thank you!) told me to go write something else, so I did. Thank you Milo. I don't own One Piece.

Jora was hallucinating.

The flickers of orange and yellow that oozed across the bars of her cell were monstrous fireflies ready to swallow her. The exhausting haze of seastone that hung about her wrists was like a rocky snake, its fangs slowly poisoning her. The heat filled her grief-stricken brain, warping her surroundings into stony hands and limbs grasping, reaching, wailing.

In her youth, Jora had fondly consumed illicit psychedelics and plastered the ensuing delightful colors and noise across canvases, walls, buildings, whatever she could get her hands on. She would down hallucinogens and return from tripping the light with paint in her hair and Doffy standing over her, shaking his head. She and Machvise would lay on the deck sharing a joint and she would talk about the stars singing lime-gold ballads and the cosmic fractals of evergreen trees, and freedom.

But when Doffy had presented her with that 'special assignment' she had rather laid off the mushrooms and the brownies to embrace the 'natural high' that was motherhood, a high that had left her no less inspired, no less joyful, no less free…

"We have some unfortunate news for you," the guard had said emotionlessly, not even looking her, and instead addressing the stone walls. "Prisoners have been known to vanish from time to time in Impel Down. It is a regrettable occurrence, particularly for one so young. Our condolences."

The world had broken open. She had screamed. She had sobbed.

She stopped eating. She floated in delirium between the seastone, the dehydration, the heat, and the grief. The walls gaped and yawned, the flames of level four spiraled into bloody heated phantasms. She waited for them to take her.

She wanted them to.

"Jora?"

She looked up at the sound of her name.

She was hallucinating.

Dellinger stood outside her cell in an Impel Down uniform, the hat rather awkwardly arranged on top of his horns. He was wearing a peculiar shade of lipstick that glowed coral in the heat and his overlarge eyes were dusted with a bright vibrant blue.

His shoes were a spectacular pair of red pumps.

"Dellybean! Hello there dear-zamasu," she said, tearfully. "Have you finally come for me? Can I join you now-zamasu? My old mind can't take this much anymore, not with you gone…"

"Kyahahaha! Don't worry Jora, of course I came for you! It just took me awhile! I'm getting you out of here!"

He pulled out a ring of keys and unlocked the door.

"How thoughtful of you to come and get me Dellybean," said Jora, deliriously. "I was very worried about you-zamasu"

Dellinger scooped her onto her feet and she leaned on him, unsteady. He felt surprisingly strong for a hallucination.

"Why, can go get our nails done together," she said. "Yours look rather nice-zamasu. What a charming shade of mint green! How it suits you!"

"Of course we can, Jora! Wait until you see where I'm taking you! There's all the nail polish you could ever want!"

"I can't wait-zamasu."

He guided her gently down the corridor past her cell, looking back over his shoulder cautiously.

"We have to go slow, the cameras will see us, but it just needs to look like I'm escorting you," said Dellinger, craning his neck.

He ducked into a small empty passage of cells and led her to the end of the hallway.

"In here," he said, guiding her into a small supply cupboard full of mops and brooms.

"What are we doing in here, Dellybean?" said Jora, blinking around in the dark. "This is not how I pictured the afterlife. I expected more color."

Dellinger tapped his heel three times against the floor.

Jora shrieked as a panel opened up in the wall. A pair of pair of eyes with absurdly long lashes peered out at the two of them.

"Is this the final judgement?!" she cried.

"What's the passswoooorddddd?" said the eyes.

"Non-binary," said Dellinger, grinning pointed teeth.

"That's nooooo jokeeee!" the eyes trilled.

The panel swung open to reveal a door and a very tall individual in a flowing pink coat. A pair of swans spouted from their shoulders, and they wore immaculate eye makeup, lipstick...and where those pointe shoes?

Jora was hallucinating.

"Yoooouuuuuu made it back, Delly-chan" the swan-person said, beaming. "Is this your mom?"

"Is this god?" said Jora. "I always thought god was genderless. I'm glad I was right. God has excellent taste in clothes."

"Yeah this is mom!" said Dellinger jovially, unlocking Jora's cuffs. "She's uhhh….she's a little tired."

Jora felt an immense rush of relief as the seastone was unlocked. She blinked, dazedly, trying to clear her mind.

"Let's get her some water and get her settled in," said the swan-person. "It is, her? Correct?"

"Yeah, Jora uses her," said Dell grinning, flashing jazz hands. "Thanks Bon-chan."

Jora gaped as Dell and the swan person led her into an extravagant room awash with stage lights, color, and dozens of people, all dressed to the nines in eyelashes, makeup...fishnets. Several half-dressed people were flouncing on a large stage, singing an old burlesque song.

Jora was hallucinating.

"Jooooraaa-channn!" cried the swan-person, leaping onto the stage. "This ain't nooo jookeeee! Welcome to the secret oasis of Impel Down! We have food, we have drink, we have weapons and safety and entertainment, but most of all - we have freedom! The freedom to live as we are! Welcome to NEWKAMAAAAALANNDDDD!"

Jora blinked dazedly up at the spotlights as the crowd of fishnetted genderless individuals all cheered and applauded.

Freedom is everything in this world….

Dellinger meanwhile was shedding the Impel Down uniform to reveal a blue sequined tank top that bared his midriff and pink skirt underneath, complete with matching fishnets.

"You're safe, Jora!" he said. He threw his arms around her - he was incredibly strong for a hallucination.

"Dellybean," she murmured. "Is...is this real-zamasu? Is that really you?"

"Yeah! It's me, Jora! It's okay now! Kyayahahaha!"

Jora threw herself on top of him and sobbed hysterically.

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD," she wailed.

"Oh Jora," murmured Dellinger. "I'm so sorry, that's what they say about people who 'vanish' in Impel Down. But nobody really vanishes, they end up here! With the newkama!"

"Newkama?"

"Kyahahaha! Someone like me!" said Dellinger, grinning. "Someone who doesn't need labels like 'boy' or 'girl' like you taught me. So when I told them about you -"

"We just had to meeetttt youuuuuuuu! No joookkee!" trilled the swan-person, twirling back down from the stage. "Jora-chan, our medical team will see to you. Delly-chan, will show you Jora to our doctor?"

"Kyahahaha! Thanks for your help Bon-chan!"

Dell leaned in close to Jora as he led her down the hallway. "We're getting out of here," said quietly. "Bon-chan knows I'm not planning on staying. We're going to get everyone, Sugar, Gladius, Buffalo, Machvise, Young Master - we're going to raise some hell and get out."

Jora stared at him, incredulous.

"What? We're going to get everyone out of here? You mean that Dellinger?"

"I'll explain everything properly," said Dellinger, fanning his jazz hands. "But first, you need to get taken care of."

Jora beamed at him, and threw her arms around him again.

"Can I do my nails with you first, Dellybean?"

"Kyahahaha! Of course! I'll get the mint green ready!"

Dellinger skipped away, and Jora felt something that she had not felt for a very long time...something wonderful.

Inspired.

AND SO BEGINS THE NEW COVER STORY...PLEASE ODA? PLEASE?

Something that I never really went anywhere with in any of my other Donquixote Family stuff is that Jora likes drugs. A lot. Someday I'll probably write something pre-Dellinger about her tripping and making art and trying to eat the walls or something. She's great. I love art mom.

Thank you truly to anyone who took the time to read a niche little fic like this. Reviews are so very appreciated.