Written for the 2018 Marvelously Magical Fanfiction Bingo
Square: O4 / Pairing Prompt: Clint Barton/Hermione Granger

Warning: This story is not quite as fluffy as my usual fare. It does contain brief mentions of kidnapping, torture, miscarriage, infertility, and character death.

Secret Lives

Clint's Secret (Chapter 1 of 4)

After the disastrous face-off with Ultron and the Maximoff twins, Clint piloted the quinjet to his personal sanctuary. He knew that he was taking a chance by bringing the others there, but maybe it was finally time that they learned about his biggest secret. If they were lucky, that "secret" might even be able to give them some advice and insight into their impossible situation. Therefore, it was with a mix of both excitement and anxiety that he expertly set the quinjet down near the country farmhouse and gestured for the Avengers to disembark.

"This is your safe house, Barton?" Tony asked skeptically as he surveyed the rustic surroundings. Clint and Natasha exchanged a look before the archer nodded.

"Yes…and it needs to stay that way!" he exclaimed forcefully.

"Understood…take it easy." Tony threw up his hands in surrender as he replied in his usual irreverent fashion. "I won't tell anyone that you have gone over to the farm side." Then he grinned at his own joke while Bruce just groaned at the very poor attempt at a pun.

Thor, however, knew that he could not find the answers to his own questions there, and immediately took his leave with a promise to return later. Natasha and the rest of men then entered the house and Clint immediately crossed over to hearth and started to build a fire within it. The rest of them looked at him curiously, but Natasha just shook her head at him when Tony opened his mouth to speak.

"Just watch!" she said quietly…and for once the man practiced some self-restraint.

Once the fire was crackling, Clint reached up and took a pinch of powder from the container on the mantle and threw it into the flames as he said, "Hermione Granger's office…Ministry of Magic…London, England."

The group with him, with the exception of the woman, gave a collective gasp when he then stuck his head into the flames. "Honey, I'm home!" he shouted cheerfully and they all heard the answering feminine voice, "Clint! I wasn't expecting you. Oh, no! What's wrong? Stand back, I'm coming through."

A moment later, three sets of jaws dropped when a petite and lively-haired woman came spinning out of the fireplace, only to launch herself at Clint and kiss him passionately. She then turned to see the woman standing by his side.

"Nat," the newcomer cried out in delight as she rushed to give the redhead a hug, too. "Now, I know that there is trouble if you are both here at the same time." She turned to finally see the rest of the men standing there with identical dumbfounded looks on their faces. "And I see that you have finally brought the rest of the team, too." The smile then fell from her face and she turned back to Clint and asked him seriously, "That's definitely not good! What are we dealing with? Is it another end-of-the-world scenario?"

"Not yet," he reassured her. "However, we need to lay low for a while, regroup, and come up with a plan to keep it that way."

She nodded her understanding. "I'm between crises right now, so I am available to help, but I want to keep everyone else out of it, if possible – even Harry." She turned to Nat to explain. "He and Ginny just had baby Lily and they are still in that sleepless newborn stage. I did bring the boys back here to the farm with me this past weekend to give their parents a bit of a break, though."

"Aww, that's so sweet," Nat replied. "Do you think that they would let me babysit, too?" At those very uncharacteristic words coming from the former assassin's mouth, the rest of the team stood there in even more shock at the thought that anyone would voluntarily leave their children in the care of the formidable Black Widow. She saw their looks and scowled. "What? Just because I can't have kids doesn't mean that I don't like them." Bruce looked startled at that news as Nat and the new woman shared a look of mutual understanding. Clint put his arm around the latter to give her a comforting hug before he turned back to the group right as Tony's patience and tact ran out – especially since he did not have an abundance of either – even in the best of times.

"What is going on here? Who is this woman and what the hell is up with that fireplace?" the man growled suspiciously.

"Gentlemen, this is my wife, Hermione!" Clint exclaimed proudly. He paused to wait for the outbursts of surprise from the group to abate before he continued. "That's not all though…it gets better. She's a witch!"

At the usual signs of initial disbelief, Hermione sighed and pulled out her wand. She then showed them a few standard spells. A Wingardium Leviosa made the Captain's shield float, an Accio summoned one of Natasha's hidden pistols, and an Expecto Patronum caused a ghost-like otter to swim in happy little circles around her first, and then Bruce, until a Finite Incantatem sent it away again. After that, it did not take the rest of the team long to come around. After all, they had seen far stranger things in their particular line of work.

"The fireplace?" Tony asked eagerly, however. "Robin Hood here said London right before you came spinning out…and I can tell from your accent that you are a Mary Poppins. So is it some kind of magic portal? I've never seen any kind of tech like that…except for the Chitauri invasion…and Thor's form of transportation…well…never mind…but it is still damn impressive!"

After confirming that it was magic and not a form of technology that he could replicate, Hermione smiled broadly. "Didn't you ever wonder why Clint insisted on having a fireplace in his rooms at the Tower?" she asked in an amused tone.

"Well…now that you mention it, I guess that I just thought that he was a bit of a diva." Tony admitted, "but now I can see that it was for conjugal visits!" He laughed and slapped his archer friend on the back. "Good call, Barton. I most definitely approve!"

Hermione wisely ignored the last parts of his statement as she laughed at the rest. "A diva…hmmm…well, he does like his hair gel," she admitted. Then she looked around at the rest of the men in the room – all with perfectly styled hair, as well. "However, he does not seem to be the only one! No need to introduce yourselves, by the way. Clint has talked about all of you so much, that I feel I already know you." She laughed and turned to look at Tony. "The ego gives it away…that and the glowing circle in your chest. You must be Tony Stark."

He nodded his acknowledgement. "Mrs. Barton, I can't believe that Legolas is secretly married…and to a witch!"

"Well, it's actually Granger…Hermione Granger. Clint's not the only one who has to keep our marriage a secret from most the world. Therefore, I still use my maiden name, as well."

"Oh…a progressive witch then," Tony smirked before he turned to wink at Clint. "I like it."

Hermione just laughed again and moved to stand in front of Bruce. "Dr. Banner, it's so nice to meet you, too. Please feel free to relax here and don't worry about letting down your guard. Your alter-ego is also welcome if he chooses to put in an appearance. After all, we have entertained much stranger guests here before - and with magic, I can easily accommodate the Hulk."

"She's not exaggerating either, Bruce," Clint agreed with his wife at the scientist's wide-eyed look of shock and skepticism – especially after what had just happened in the city. "Last full moon, she brought a freaking werewolf home from work with her!"

"Oh, hush you!" his wife replied. "He was a brand new wolf with no pack and nowhere else to spend his first change. Plus, I made his Wolfsbane potion myself, so I knew that he was perfectly harmless."

"He left dog hair all over the couch, Mione! Plus, he borrowed my favorite robe in the morning…and he was naked! That's not harmless!"

"Whatever you say, Dear," she agreed amiably and then winked at their snickering friend, Nat, before she turned to the next man in line who was still gaping at the thought of an actual "werewolf."

"Steve Rogers," she greeted him with a smile…and her soft accent reminded him so much of Peggy – especially since he had recently seen her in his "vision" or "dream" or whatever it was that the Maximoff girl had sent to him. However, his mind focused back on Clint's pretty wife when she continued to speak. "My grandfather often spoke of meeting you in Germany during the War when he was stationed there as part of the RAF. I even have one of your original trading cards. If you ever feel homesick for your original time, I have a stack of his records in the attic and some of his books in the library. You are welcome to them anytime. I'm sorry that I can't do more to help, but time travel is not part of my magical repertoire anymore, unfortunately."

"Anymore?" she heard both Tony and Bruce murmur faintly and saw them exchange glances in the background. However, she chose to ignore their curiosity in favor of welcoming her unexpected…and hungry…guests to the Barton farm with a late lunch.