Since so many Americans didn't see this episode, I've typed up the general idea of what happened in the episode "Shout". It was amazing, and I think it's something important for teenagers, especially the age of Desgrassi fans. This only includes what happened with Paige, not the sub- plots. I hope you enjoy it. I'll try and do what I can with "She Bop" and "How Soon Is Now", but I'm not promising anything.
And of course, none of these characters or storylines belong to me. I'd love some feedback
The sun was beating on us hard, and I wished desperately that they had chosen a lighter colour for our tops. It was warm, but a thousand times hotter in our shirts. Tack on us working our butts off, and Dean. . . well he sent the temperature into boiling. Or maybe that was just me.
Hazel was leading the cheer behind me. She wasn't bad. I'd never admit that to her, but she was talented. She'd never take over my spot, but still decent. I was sitting this one out, giving her a taste of what it was like to be in control. Dean ran by.
Dean. Absolutely gorgeous. Tall, dark, handsome, the whole deal. Almost six feet, brown hair, probably perfect for running fingers through, brown eyes, built, and a killer smile. And one hell of a soccer player.
Everyone around me was going crazy. Degrassi was tied, only seconds left in the game. The girls had broken out of their formation and were jumping and screaming. I picked up my poms-poms and did the same. Spinner took control of the ball from the other team and with some fancy footwork, scrambled past them and shot into their net. Time was ticking away. . . 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. . . Degrassi wins!
"Can you believe Spinner scored the winning goal?" I vaguely heard Hazel ask. I didn't care. All I could see was Dean.
"Paige?" she asked, just as Dean walked by. Oh, the killer smile. And he smelled great. "Paige?"
"It ain't never going to happen." Hazel told me when I filled her in on Dean. She didn't need filling in- any woman with eyes knew about Dean, but I also included my little detail about how we was going to be mine.
"Ain't never?" I asked with a laugh. "That's a double negative. You are a double negative, and you're raining on my love parade."
"Hey," Spinner said, coming up behind us.
"Spinner, hey," I greeted, smiling. Spinner was a sweetie.
"You were totally amazing out there," Hazel told him, then turned to me. " See? Double positive."
"So you saw me win the game?" he asked proudly.
"Mm-hmm. You were great," I told him sincerely.
"So tomorrow night, do you want to hang out with Degrassi's new MVP? Maybe a movie?"
"Saturday, right. I was going to work on my MI project."
"Oh. Couldn't you do that Sunday?"
"Um, sure. Why not? But Spinner, nothing gory, okay? No cops, no aliens, no psychos with masks."
"Okay, I promise. Chick flick all the way." He smiled, then ran off to his adoring teammates
"He's so in love with you."
"What are you talking about? We've done stuff together before."
"Not like this. Spinner, chick flicks?"
"So what? Anyways, I am looking to date up this year, remember?"
"I don't care what you say. Spinner's got a crush."
"Hon, Spinner and I are just friends." We stopped walking and stopped a couple of meters away from the bus where Dean and his team were climbing on. I watched him for a minute before continuing.
"He's handsome, he's mature," I began.
"And he's totally leaving. Paige, your life is calling."
"And I am definitely going to answer." I ran up to the bus and stood right outside the window. He looked and rolled his window down. I could help but notice the looks his teammates were giving me. Stay calm, Michalchuk, I told myself. Dean stuck his head out the window. " I just wanted to stay hi. Paige Michalchuk." I stuck my hand out.
"Let me guess. Cheerleader," he said, taking my hand and grinning. Sparks!
"Head cheerleader. But we call it 'Spirit Squad'."
"Hey Spirit, I'm Dean."
"I know." Oh, my God. Had I really just said I know? Great, now he'd think that I was stalking him. "I mean, you're the competition. Know your enemy and all that." Quick recovery. Sounded like it worked.
"You guys wanna come to a party tomorrow night?" he asked me, then looked quickly at Hazel, then back to me. "Help us, I don't know, celebrate defeat?" This was great. This was amazing. Dean was inviting me! The bus engine started and the wheels started to turn.
"I don't know. Where?" I asked, panicked inside that I wouldn't find out.
"122 Pape. Anytime after seven."
The bus turned the corner, and once there was no way they could still see us, Hazel and I did squealed. Then harsh reality hit me.
"We so need something to wear!"
By the next afternoon, Hazel and I had both found perfect outfits, and were on our way home when a pair of shoes started calling my name.
"They're like six feet off the ground. Forget it. Trust me, we're good."
Hazel could be so. . . frustrating at times. I wanted to say something, when I felt my phone start to vibrate. I pulled it out, opened it and found a message from Spinner. "It's Spinner." I told her.
"You did cancel for tonight, right?"
I knew there was something else I had to do. I shook my head.
"You have to cancel."
I couldn't just tell him that I was going out with another guy. I had to play the sympathy card. I had a sudden flash of genius. "Spinner, sorry to bail, Grandma in hospital. XOX Paige." I typed it quickly and pressed send. "There, we're good. Look, I know what I want, and I want those shoes."
Hazel and I looked awesome. I had gotten a two piece brown crinkly set. The shirt showed a decent amount of skin, and was off the shoulder. Hazel had gotten a short blue dress, the same material as mine. Her hair was put up. I had curled my hair, and pulled some of it up. It had taken forever because of my hair's thickness, but it was all worth while in the end. I knocked on the door, and pulled nervously at my shirt.
"Paige, you look great, relax." Hazel told me reassuringly.
Dean answered the door. He looked possibly better than he had at the game with a red shirt and jeans. For a second, his eyes were dark, angry, but changed back to normal quickly. "Hey Dean."
"Spirit, friend, come on in." It was packed inside. There was music blaring, people laughing, drinking, talking, dancing. All were in jeans, t-shirts. I tensed up. "So you decided to show up after all."
"Yeah well, after your tragic loss, I figured you could use all the support you could get."
"You did, huh?" He grinned, and a guy passed by. Dean turned to talk to him. "Eduardo, where you been!?" he exclaimed, walking off.
"We are totally overdressed," Hazel hissed as soon as he was out of earshot.
"We do stand out, but that's good. We just the need the attitude to back it up. Watch this." I scanned the crowd and found Dean talking to a group of people. I crept in with them.
"That electro slash stuff is intense," one girl was saying.
"And W-Zone is complete genius," Dean replied. This was my cue.
"Oh, he's totally great. I pretty much love a electro slash." No response from the group. Silence was good. I surprised them, intimidated them. The first girl who had spoken looked me over. "Are you a big techno fan, Dean? I'd love to know what you think."
"Sure." That darkness in his eyes flickered in his eyes again, then back to normal. "How 'bout a drink first?"
"Please. I'm completely parched."
"Hey, you might just want to chill," she said to me as Dean left.
I looked her over. "Excuse me?"
"Just. . . he's a little old for you."
"And you're a little jealous."
"Hey, Spirit, everything cool?" he asked, handing me a cup and putting his arm around me. My heart skipped a beat.
"Perfect." I took a sip. It was awful, whatever it was. It smelled like alcohol.
"You're whole squad's really great," Dean told me later on. The party had spilled out into the yard. "But you totally stood out."
"I did?" I tried not to sound to immature. "What are you looking at?"
"Your eyes. Are they green or blue?"
My eyes? He was looking at my eyes? I loved him! "It depends on the light."
"The most amazing coloured eyes I've ever seen. They're very beautiful." I felt like I was going to die of happiness when Hazel came over and pulled me aside.
"Let's just go, okay?" she asked.
Go? Was she out of her mind? "No way. I'm this close." I ignored her and went back to Dean. "Dean, it's so loud out here. Wanna maybe go someplace a little more private?"
"After you." He took my hand and followed me through the crowd.
"You are so cute," he said as he caught up with me, then kissed me on the cheek. He smelled great. I giggled. "I think my friend's room should be quiet." he said softly and led me up and flight of stairs and opened a door. I turned on a light, but he turned it off again.
"I kinda like it dark," he told me with his arms around my waist.
"But I can't see anything." Between the lava light and the dim light from the window, I could barely see his face.
"Well, there's the bed, here's the door." He took my hand and led me to the bed. "And here's the party."
"Why are we whispering?"
"Because my friends are Neanderthals. We don't want them to hear us, right? Okay?" He kissed me slowly.
"Okay." I kissed him again.
"You are so adorable."
"I am?"
"Oh yeah. Come here." He layed me down on the bed. It seemed a bit fast to be on the bed already. "Is this okay?"
"No. I mean, yeah." He kissed me fully on the lips, deeper than before. I didn't feel quite right. "Just take it slow, okay?" He kissed me even harder, then trailed down to my neck. Harder, and harder. This wasn't right. I tensed up. "Dean, I said slow."
Dean sat up. Okay, he had heard me. This was alright. He was looking for something in his pocket, and pulled out a little plastic square. I had seen that square before.
In health class.
Dean had pulled out a condom.
I couldn't breathe. I started hyperventilating. "Wha-?What are you doing?" He held the square with his teeth, unzipped his pants and ripped the condom wrapper open. "I don't think so." I tried desperately to get up, but Dean pushed me back down. In the moonlight I could see his eyes. They were angry, evil.
I couldn't understand what was happening. All of a sudden, he lowered his body and started grunting.
"Dean, no, Dean. Stop." This couldn't be happening. He couldn't be doing this. "I said stop! Stop, please." I started to cry. "Dean, get off me. Stop, please, no."
I didn't want to go to school on Monday. I had avoided everyone on Sunday, but I'd have to deal with Terri, Hazel, everyone today. They couldn't know. They couldn't fin out.
I found myself out on the bleacher before school. I hadn't slept. I kept seeing him. I kept seeing his eyes. Everything was playing over in my head. Where had I gone wrong? How could I have missed that he was evil?
"You are so adorable," he had told me. I trusted him.
"I am?"
"Oh yeah."
I was snapped out of my trance by the bell ringing. I picked up my bag and walked slowly towards the school.
I had made it through first period. I had to make it through the rest of the day. I had to make it through, and maybe no one would know. I was bent over my locker when someone came up behind me and pocked my in the stomach. He was there. How had he come to my school? How had-. I turned around and realised that it was Hazel.
"Hazel, give me a heart attack why don't you?"
"It was a joke. What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing. I'm fine."
"Okay, what's the big news. Does it have to do with Dean?" Terri asked, rushing up behind us.
I rolled my eyes. "Maybe."
"Maybe? They went upstairs," Hazel told her as if I couldn't hear.
If you only knew, I thought,
"Upstairs? Like alone upstairs?"
"Uh, what do you think, Ter?"
"So you did?"
"Yeah, we did," I said.
Media Immersion was hell. Mr. Simpson gave me heck for not doing my homework. Part of me wanted to scream at him 'do you know why I didn't do my homework? Do you know what happened to me this weekend? I had more important things to deal with. I didn't want to deal with them. I would have preferred to do homework than deal with what I had to deal with!', but I settled with forgetting to e-mail it to my school account.
Hazel turned to me. "Someone's in love."
"Please, I am not in love. Or, Dean's not. He hasn't called."
"So? He will."
"He would have by now."
"Girl, give him time."
"Hazel, you don't understand. He didn't just kiss me."
"What? Paige, you-?" I nodded. "You did? You did it with Dean?"
"Paige, Hazel, your assignment."
"How can you even concentrate? This is very big news, you know," Hazel told me in our next class.
"It's not news, okay?"
"How'd you know it was right?"
Right? Nothing about it was right! "It's not like I planned it."
"Was it totally romantic?"
"Can we talk about this later? Please? I'm trying to read."
"Come on Paige, give me something. I'm dying here."
"I'll change seats if you don't shut up." I didn't want to talk about it.
"Paige?" Spinner called after me. I had had a really crappy day so far, and I really didn't want any grief.
"Hey, Spin."
"How's your grandma?"
"What?"
"Your grandma. The one who was sick on Saturday night."
My grandma. How stupid could I have been? If I hadn't cancelled on him, this never would have happened. "Oh, uh, she's okay." I walked off.
"And Dean? How's he doing?" I stopped dead in my tracks and turned around. "I know what happened, okay?"
"Yeah? We're you in the room with me? 'Cause I don't think you were."
"You lied to me," he accused, grabbing my arm.
"Don't touch me! Don't ever touch me."
"Why not? Everyone else does."
That comment totally killed me. I could take a lot of things from a lot of people, but that wasn't one of the things I could deal with. I slapped him hard across the face and ran into the washroom.
"Paige? Paige? I just saw Spinner. He was completely out of line," Hazel was saying as she looked under each stall for me. I was huddled on the floor in one, crying.
"It wasn't what I thought, you know? My first time. I hoped it would be beautiful or something." I stood up, walked out of the stall and over to the sink. "I'm so stupid. Those shoes."
"It's not stupid."
"I wanted it to work. I wanted him to want to be with me."
"It did."
"Yeah, sure."
"He'll call you. You don't have to be so upset."
"I didn't even want to do it, Hazel. I said no, over and over."
"You said no?" she asked. I nodded. "And he didn't listen?"
"He just pushed me down, harder, he wouldn't stop."
"Paige, honey, if you said no. . . that's rape."
I broke down into a fresh set of tears after that. It was one thing to know that was happened fit the description of rape, but when she said it, it finally hit me. I had been raped.
"Paige! Hey! Wait up! Whatever happened to going to the doctor after school?" Hazel said, running after me. I didn't want to deal with her anymore. I just wanted her to go away. I kept walking, but she caught up.
"Why would I?"
"I don't know. To check on STD's, pregnancy."
"He wore a condom. Safe sex all the way."
"What Dean did was illegal, you know that right?"
I turned around to face her. "Yeah? And what about what I did?"
"You didn't do anything."
"I didn't dress like a slut? I didn't drink? I didn't come on to him in front of the whole party?"
"Paige. . ."
"I guess I didn't go upstairs either."
"You said no."
"It doesn't matter."
"It does matter. Paige, you have to tell someone."
"No I don't. I can deal with it."
"Paige, you were raped."
"Look, my business, my problem. I'm fine."
And of course, none of these characters or storylines belong to me. I'd love some feedback
The sun was beating on us hard, and I wished desperately that they had chosen a lighter colour for our tops. It was warm, but a thousand times hotter in our shirts. Tack on us working our butts off, and Dean. . . well he sent the temperature into boiling. Or maybe that was just me.
Hazel was leading the cheer behind me. She wasn't bad. I'd never admit that to her, but she was talented. She'd never take over my spot, but still decent. I was sitting this one out, giving her a taste of what it was like to be in control. Dean ran by.
Dean. Absolutely gorgeous. Tall, dark, handsome, the whole deal. Almost six feet, brown hair, probably perfect for running fingers through, brown eyes, built, and a killer smile. And one hell of a soccer player.
Everyone around me was going crazy. Degrassi was tied, only seconds left in the game. The girls had broken out of their formation and were jumping and screaming. I picked up my poms-poms and did the same. Spinner took control of the ball from the other team and with some fancy footwork, scrambled past them and shot into their net. Time was ticking away. . . 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. . . Degrassi wins!
"Can you believe Spinner scored the winning goal?" I vaguely heard Hazel ask. I didn't care. All I could see was Dean.
"Paige?" she asked, just as Dean walked by. Oh, the killer smile. And he smelled great. "Paige?"
"It ain't never going to happen." Hazel told me when I filled her in on Dean. She didn't need filling in- any woman with eyes knew about Dean, but I also included my little detail about how we was going to be mine.
"Ain't never?" I asked with a laugh. "That's a double negative. You are a double negative, and you're raining on my love parade."
"Hey," Spinner said, coming up behind us.
"Spinner, hey," I greeted, smiling. Spinner was a sweetie.
"You were totally amazing out there," Hazel told him, then turned to me. " See? Double positive."
"So you saw me win the game?" he asked proudly.
"Mm-hmm. You were great," I told him sincerely.
"So tomorrow night, do you want to hang out with Degrassi's new MVP? Maybe a movie?"
"Saturday, right. I was going to work on my MI project."
"Oh. Couldn't you do that Sunday?"
"Um, sure. Why not? But Spinner, nothing gory, okay? No cops, no aliens, no psychos with masks."
"Okay, I promise. Chick flick all the way." He smiled, then ran off to his adoring teammates
"He's so in love with you."
"What are you talking about? We've done stuff together before."
"Not like this. Spinner, chick flicks?"
"So what? Anyways, I am looking to date up this year, remember?"
"I don't care what you say. Spinner's got a crush."
"Hon, Spinner and I are just friends." We stopped walking and stopped a couple of meters away from the bus where Dean and his team were climbing on. I watched him for a minute before continuing.
"He's handsome, he's mature," I began.
"And he's totally leaving. Paige, your life is calling."
"And I am definitely going to answer." I ran up to the bus and stood right outside the window. He looked and rolled his window down. I could help but notice the looks his teammates were giving me. Stay calm, Michalchuk, I told myself. Dean stuck his head out the window. " I just wanted to stay hi. Paige Michalchuk." I stuck my hand out.
"Let me guess. Cheerleader," he said, taking my hand and grinning. Sparks!
"Head cheerleader. But we call it 'Spirit Squad'."
"Hey Spirit, I'm Dean."
"I know." Oh, my God. Had I really just said I know? Great, now he'd think that I was stalking him. "I mean, you're the competition. Know your enemy and all that." Quick recovery. Sounded like it worked.
"You guys wanna come to a party tomorrow night?" he asked me, then looked quickly at Hazel, then back to me. "Help us, I don't know, celebrate defeat?" This was great. This was amazing. Dean was inviting me! The bus engine started and the wheels started to turn.
"I don't know. Where?" I asked, panicked inside that I wouldn't find out.
"122 Pape. Anytime after seven."
The bus turned the corner, and once there was no way they could still see us, Hazel and I did squealed. Then harsh reality hit me.
"We so need something to wear!"
By the next afternoon, Hazel and I had both found perfect outfits, and were on our way home when a pair of shoes started calling my name.
"They're like six feet off the ground. Forget it. Trust me, we're good."
Hazel could be so. . . frustrating at times. I wanted to say something, when I felt my phone start to vibrate. I pulled it out, opened it and found a message from Spinner. "It's Spinner." I told her.
"You did cancel for tonight, right?"
I knew there was something else I had to do. I shook my head.
"You have to cancel."
I couldn't just tell him that I was going out with another guy. I had to play the sympathy card. I had a sudden flash of genius. "Spinner, sorry to bail, Grandma in hospital. XOX Paige." I typed it quickly and pressed send. "There, we're good. Look, I know what I want, and I want those shoes."
Hazel and I looked awesome. I had gotten a two piece brown crinkly set. The shirt showed a decent amount of skin, and was off the shoulder. Hazel had gotten a short blue dress, the same material as mine. Her hair was put up. I had curled my hair, and pulled some of it up. It had taken forever because of my hair's thickness, but it was all worth while in the end. I knocked on the door, and pulled nervously at my shirt.
"Paige, you look great, relax." Hazel told me reassuringly.
Dean answered the door. He looked possibly better than he had at the game with a red shirt and jeans. For a second, his eyes were dark, angry, but changed back to normal quickly. "Hey Dean."
"Spirit, friend, come on in." It was packed inside. There was music blaring, people laughing, drinking, talking, dancing. All were in jeans, t-shirts. I tensed up. "So you decided to show up after all."
"Yeah well, after your tragic loss, I figured you could use all the support you could get."
"You did, huh?" He grinned, and a guy passed by. Dean turned to talk to him. "Eduardo, where you been!?" he exclaimed, walking off.
"We are totally overdressed," Hazel hissed as soon as he was out of earshot.
"We do stand out, but that's good. We just the need the attitude to back it up. Watch this." I scanned the crowd and found Dean talking to a group of people. I crept in with them.
"That electro slash stuff is intense," one girl was saying.
"And W-Zone is complete genius," Dean replied. This was my cue.
"Oh, he's totally great. I pretty much love a electro slash." No response from the group. Silence was good. I surprised them, intimidated them. The first girl who had spoken looked me over. "Are you a big techno fan, Dean? I'd love to know what you think."
"Sure." That darkness in his eyes flickered in his eyes again, then back to normal. "How 'bout a drink first?"
"Please. I'm completely parched."
"Hey, you might just want to chill," she said to me as Dean left.
I looked her over. "Excuse me?"
"Just. . . he's a little old for you."
"And you're a little jealous."
"Hey, Spirit, everything cool?" he asked, handing me a cup and putting his arm around me. My heart skipped a beat.
"Perfect." I took a sip. It was awful, whatever it was. It smelled like alcohol.
"You're whole squad's really great," Dean told me later on. The party had spilled out into the yard. "But you totally stood out."
"I did?" I tried not to sound to immature. "What are you looking at?"
"Your eyes. Are they green or blue?"
My eyes? He was looking at my eyes? I loved him! "It depends on the light."
"The most amazing coloured eyes I've ever seen. They're very beautiful." I felt like I was going to die of happiness when Hazel came over and pulled me aside.
"Let's just go, okay?" she asked.
Go? Was she out of her mind? "No way. I'm this close." I ignored her and went back to Dean. "Dean, it's so loud out here. Wanna maybe go someplace a little more private?"
"After you." He took my hand and followed me through the crowd.
"You are so cute," he said as he caught up with me, then kissed me on the cheek. He smelled great. I giggled. "I think my friend's room should be quiet." he said softly and led me up and flight of stairs and opened a door. I turned on a light, but he turned it off again.
"I kinda like it dark," he told me with his arms around my waist.
"But I can't see anything." Between the lava light and the dim light from the window, I could barely see his face.
"Well, there's the bed, here's the door." He took my hand and led me to the bed. "And here's the party."
"Why are we whispering?"
"Because my friends are Neanderthals. We don't want them to hear us, right? Okay?" He kissed me slowly.
"Okay." I kissed him again.
"You are so adorable."
"I am?"
"Oh yeah. Come here." He layed me down on the bed. It seemed a bit fast to be on the bed already. "Is this okay?"
"No. I mean, yeah." He kissed me fully on the lips, deeper than before. I didn't feel quite right. "Just take it slow, okay?" He kissed me even harder, then trailed down to my neck. Harder, and harder. This wasn't right. I tensed up. "Dean, I said slow."
Dean sat up. Okay, he had heard me. This was alright. He was looking for something in his pocket, and pulled out a little plastic square. I had seen that square before.
In health class.
Dean had pulled out a condom.
I couldn't breathe. I started hyperventilating. "Wha-?What are you doing?" He held the square with his teeth, unzipped his pants and ripped the condom wrapper open. "I don't think so." I tried desperately to get up, but Dean pushed me back down. In the moonlight I could see his eyes. They were angry, evil.
I couldn't understand what was happening. All of a sudden, he lowered his body and started grunting.
"Dean, no, Dean. Stop." This couldn't be happening. He couldn't be doing this. "I said stop! Stop, please." I started to cry. "Dean, get off me. Stop, please, no."
I didn't want to go to school on Monday. I had avoided everyone on Sunday, but I'd have to deal with Terri, Hazel, everyone today. They couldn't know. They couldn't fin out.
I found myself out on the bleacher before school. I hadn't slept. I kept seeing him. I kept seeing his eyes. Everything was playing over in my head. Where had I gone wrong? How could I have missed that he was evil?
"You are so adorable," he had told me. I trusted him.
"I am?"
"Oh yeah."
I was snapped out of my trance by the bell ringing. I picked up my bag and walked slowly towards the school.
I had made it through first period. I had to make it through the rest of the day. I had to make it through, and maybe no one would know. I was bent over my locker when someone came up behind me and pocked my in the stomach. He was there. How had he come to my school? How had-. I turned around and realised that it was Hazel.
"Hazel, give me a heart attack why don't you?"
"It was a joke. What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing. I'm fine."
"Okay, what's the big news. Does it have to do with Dean?" Terri asked, rushing up behind us.
I rolled my eyes. "Maybe."
"Maybe? They went upstairs," Hazel told her as if I couldn't hear.
If you only knew, I thought,
"Upstairs? Like alone upstairs?"
"Uh, what do you think, Ter?"
"So you did?"
"Yeah, we did," I said.
Media Immersion was hell. Mr. Simpson gave me heck for not doing my homework. Part of me wanted to scream at him 'do you know why I didn't do my homework? Do you know what happened to me this weekend? I had more important things to deal with. I didn't want to deal with them. I would have preferred to do homework than deal with what I had to deal with!', but I settled with forgetting to e-mail it to my school account.
Hazel turned to me. "Someone's in love."
"Please, I am not in love. Or, Dean's not. He hasn't called."
"So? He will."
"He would have by now."
"Girl, give him time."
"Hazel, you don't understand. He didn't just kiss me."
"What? Paige, you-?" I nodded. "You did? You did it with Dean?"
"Paige, Hazel, your assignment."
"How can you even concentrate? This is very big news, you know," Hazel told me in our next class.
"It's not news, okay?"
"How'd you know it was right?"
Right? Nothing about it was right! "It's not like I planned it."
"Was it totally romantic?"
"Can we talk about this later? Please? I'm trying to read."
"Come on Paige, give me something. I'm dying here."
"I'll change seats if you don't shut up." I didn't want to talk about it.
"Paige?" Spinner called after me. I had had a really crappy day so far, and I really didn't want any grief.
"Hey, Spin."
"How's your grandma?"
"What?"
"Your grandma. The one who was sick on Saturday night."
My grandma. How stupid could I have been? If I hadn't cancelled on him, this never would have happened. "Oh, uh, she's okay." I walked off.
"And Dean? How's he doing?" I stopped dead in my tracks and turned around. "I know what happened, okay?"
"Yeah? We're you in the room with me? 'Cause I don't think you were."
"You lied to me," he accused, grabbing my arm.
"Don't touch me! Don't ever touch me."
"Why not? Everyone else does."
That comment totally killed me. I could take a lot of things from a lot of people, but that wasn't one of the things I could deal with. I slapped him hard across the face and ran into the washroom.
"Paige? Paige? I just saw Spinner. He was completely out of line," Hazel was saying as she looked under each stall for me. I was huddled on the floor in one, crying.
"It wasn't what I thought, you know? My first time. I hoped it would be beautiful or something." I stood up, walked out of the stall and over to the sink. "I'm so stupid. Those shoes."
"It's not stupid."
"I wanted it to work. I wanted him to want to be with me."
"It did."
"Yeah, sure."
"He'll call you. You don't have to be so upset."
"I didn't even want to do it, Hazel. I said no, over and over."
"You said no?" she asked. I nodded. "And he didn't listen?"
"He just pushed me down, harder, he wouldn't stop."
"Paige, honey, if you said no. . . that's rape."
I broke down into a fresh set of tears after that. It was one thing to know that was happened fit the description of rape, but when she said it, it finally hit me. I had been raped.
"Paige! Hey! Wait up! Whatever happened to going to the doctor after school?" Hazel said, running after me. I didn't want to deal with her anymore. I just wanted her to go away. I kept walking, but she caught up.
"Why would I?"
"I don't know. To check on STD's, pregnancy."
"He wore a condom. Safe sex all the way."
"What Dean did was illegal, you know that right?"
I turned around to face her. "Yeah? And what about what I did?"
"You didn't do anything."
"I didn't dress like a slut? I didn't drink? I didn't come on to him in front of the whole party?"
"Paige. . ."
"I guess I didn't go upstairs either."
"You said no."
"It doesn't matter."
"It does matter. Paige, you have to tell someone."
"No I don't. I can deal with it."
"Paige, you were raped."
"Look, my business, my problem. I'm fine."