This story was originally written for the Once Upon a Captain Swan Storybook Vol 2 as a collaboration with hellomommanerd, ilovemesomekillianjones and whimsicallyenchantedrose.

5x03 Siege Perilous

Killian's Quest

A deleted scene during the Camelot scenes of 5-03, between the time that Emma leaves the room where she is with Regina, Belle, Snow, David and possibly Zelena and the scene of David's Knighting Ceremony.

Emma hurried from the tower where Merlin's room was located and went in search of a little peace. A place where she didn't feel torn apart in such a way that she wasn't sure if she could ever be put back together. She was the savior, yet in trying to be the savior, she had ended up the Dark One and now her family and others she cared about were trying to save her. Most of the time, she felt grateful, yet there were also times when she felt resentment. Two sides at war and she never knew which side was going to be stronger.

"Emma?" She heard her name being called and for a split-second thought about poofing away, even though she knew that she shouldn't be having those thoughts.

Taking a deep breath, she turned just as Robin came around the corner. "Hi, Robin. Did you need something?" The look he gave her was the same one that everyone kept giving her, reinforcing her desire to run away and hide. "I'm fine, Robin," she told him tiredly before he even had a chance to say anything.

He studied her face, she was sure looking for some sign as to her darkoneness. "Any success toward freeing Merlin?" he finally asked.

"A little," she sighed. "Regina's still in Merlin's room with Zelena. I'm sure she wouldn't mind you checking on her." She felt bad for trying to get rid of him but when she was around most people, the act of trying to be normal was taxing.

He nodded his head in thanks and turned to walk away. After a few steps, he looked back, "Oh, and Emma," he hesitated a bit, "we'll work this out... together."

She smiled at him, knowing it didn't quite reach her eyes. "I know." As she walked away, she thought about going to the beautiful chambers she had been assigned, but when she was in there alone, she had too much time to think. When that happened, the image of Rumpelstiltskin kept showing up telling her things she didn't want to hear and the only way to clear her head was to find her pirate. He had a special knack for distracting her, he always had, and she needed that ability of his right now.

Making her way through the halls of the castle, she eventually found herself outside. The fresh air was a start in the right direction. She wandered out toward the gardens to the east, focusing on the detailed landscaping and she felt her body beginning to relax. She'd been so tense in that small room, unable to help with their current crisis, unable to settle in her own skin. Emma closed her eyes and listened to the sounds around her, she inhaled deeply of the earth. Just as she started to appreciate the peace that surrounded her she heard the devilish cackle of Rumpelstiltskin echo in her mind. She squeezed her eyes tighter, trying to force him from her thoughts. Emma could feel the tears forming behind her lids, forcing their way to the corners of her eyes. She couldn't let him get the best of her.

"Ya can't get rid of me that easily, Dearie," he snickered. "Try as you might-"

Suddenly a firm pair of arms wrapped around her from behind, causing her to jump. She spun around to find herself face-to-face with her beautiful, blue-eyed pirate. "Killian," she gasped in relief. She circled her arms around his waist, slamming into him and burrowing her head into his chest. She felt the hot tears fall as she breathed in his comforting scent. Dizziness clouded her head as the relief merged with happiness and bordered on hysteria. Feeling her knees buckle, she slouched against him more, she needed his support in every way. Emma had never voluntarily let herself be this vulnerable in her adult life, and as much as it grated against every fiber of her being, she needed this, she needed him.

Killian stroked his hand up and down her back comfortingly. "I've got you, love," he whispered into her hair. It pained him beyond all measure to see Emma like this, he knew she hated it. All he'd ever wanted was for her to trust him, lean on him, but this was hard to see from his tough lass. "Tell me what you need. Tell me what to do, Swan."

"Just hold me, Killian," she said in a broken voice.

Killian did as she asked, wrapping her tighter in his arms and holding her head to his chest, letting her tears soak through his vest and shirt. He hated feeling so helpless.

"It's this darkness," Emma sniffled finally, "I can't get rid of it, Killian. It's with me always, and I'm just so tired. I'm tired of fighting it. I'm tired of trying to be strong. I can't even escape in sleep. It's like the worst nightmare of my life that I can never wake from."

"Swan," Killian said gently, "I know it's probably cold comfort, but just know that you are not alone. All of us will do all we can to help you."

Emma pulled back far enough to look into his face. "I know you are, Killian, and I love you for it. And honestly? It's…better when you're with me. When you're holding me, I almost feel like my old self again."

Killian wiggled his eyebrows in an exaggerated manner. "Well, love, if that's the case, I suppose I shall just have to keep you within the shelter of my arms. Whatever shall we find to do during the long nights you lay awake? I suspect we can manage to find something to occupy us that's far more enjoyable than making dreamcatchers, aye?"

Emma laughed. "Believe me, I'd be all for that, babe, but I don't think so. Not now; not when the darkness is here with me. When we're together, you know, like that, I want it to be just you and me. Not you, me, and the darkness in my ear whispering suggestions."

Killian grimaced. "Aye, fair point, love. No matter. It will be something to look forward to when we've freed you from the darkness."

Emma searched his face carefully. "We've been here a couple days, and we've made no progress. Do you really think we're going to succeed?"

Killian nodded forcefully. "There's not a shred of doubt in my mind, love."

Emma sighed deeply, leaning in to rest her head once more on his chest. "I hope you're right."

"Of course I am," Killian said. "Now, while we wait for your father to return with the crimson crown, how about we pass the time with a tale?"

Rolling her eyes, but not suppressing the smile that he could always bring out of her, she dropped her hand into his and interlaced their fingers. "You're going to tell me a story?"

"Aye."

"About what, dueling another pirate captain? Secret deals with Peter Pan?"

"Not this time, love," he punctuated the words with light kisses to her hand and head.

She felt some of the tension drain, and let herself be swept up in his charm.

"Today I will share with you the time I sailed the Jolly Roger to an ancient realm in search of a treasure that would grant the holder special powers. I was approached by a deposed king who was desperate to get his hands on an object. Along the way I-"

"Wait," Emma interrupted, "what special powers? What king?"

"Ah, love, you are going to have to wait for that bit, because it's the journey I wish to tell."

Emma laughed. "A pirate sent on a quest."

Killian held his finger to his lips and silently shushed her. "Pirates do not, as a practice, take on missions from kings when it is their sworn duty to pillage from those very same rulers."

He had a point, and so Emma was confused. "So then why?"

"To put it bluntly, I lost a wager."

"A wager with the king?" Emma squeezed his arm. "Tell me more."

"It began on an evening in a tavern, and a bit too much rum. Of course, the monarch was dressed in the garb of a crofter, and I was past the point of realizing I was being duped. Before long, I was indebted to the man, and with a tavern full of witnesses, I was obliged to fulfill my debt. So, the next morning I gathered my crew," Killian continued, "and we set out with a small bag of gold and a vial of potion, both courtesy of the gentleman."

His voice had taken on that low, soothing tone, and Emma was caught up in his recount of how a day into his journey, they had found an old woman who needed to cross a strait he was navigating, and her insistence that Killian carry her to the ship on his back. He nearly drowned before reaching the boat and only upon taking her to her destination did he discover she was an enchantress, working for the king. She gifted him with another vial of potion before she disappeared.

"What color was her poof cloud?" Emma asked.

He grinned down at her, dimples on full display. "Blue, like the sea."

"Naturally," she said. When he hadn't said anything for a few moments, she glanced up at him. He was giving her such a tender look that it just about took her breath away. "What?" she whispered, not wanting to disturb whatever spell was surrounding them.

He pulled her into the circle of his arms, "I've missed that."

Sliding her hands up his sexy chest, exposed by his Camelot wardrobe, she dimpled, "What?"

"That smile," he thumbed her chin, "that lilt in your voice when you tease me." The pitch of his voice had lowered as he spoke and when he continued, she ended up stepping closer to hear him. "You, Emma. I've missed you." Pulling her tightly against his body, he kissed her, conveying all those emotions that he wouldn't allow himself to say.

Emma sank into the kiss, allowing him to take what he needed, what they needed. His body trembled in her arms, and holding him tighter she tried to convey how she was feeling and what she was thinking.

Pushing the guilt aside she allowed herself to enjoy the moment just like her father always said, and met him kiss for kiss. As the intensity of their kisses slowed and she opened her eyes to stare in the dark blue of his, her heart flipped in her chest. "Killian, I'm so..."

He halted her speech with a gentle finger, "Swan, don't say it."

"But Kill..." she tried again.

He stopped her words this time with a hard kiss, "No, Swan. I once told you I was a fan of every part of you, and I meant every word. I wouldn't have expected any less of you. I feel," he looked around to see several people milling about, "I would be remiss if I didn't say I was sorry for any untoward behavior I might have shown just now."

Both brows going up in surprise, Emma grinned, "I kind of liked your behavior."

"Oh?" he smirked.

"Yes," she drawled, "but for now how about that story." Lacing their fingers, they continued their walk. "What happened after the enchantress poofed away?"

"Well, now," he started in his most soothing voice, "she left something behind."

"Really? Something else magical, I bet."

"Aye, Swan. A magic bean."

"And what did you do?"

"Why, I picked it up, like any good pirate, of course."

"Of course," she agreed. "And then what happened."

"Well," he began, "I now had a bag of gold, two potions, and a magic bean, what else was I to do but-" Killian was cut off by a ruckus coming from across the huge expanse of the royal gardens. "What the hell is going on?" he muttered.

With Emma's hand still in his, he started to move toward the commotion and Emma followed readily. The royal trumpets were sounding, signaling that someone important was arriving. She could feel the vibrations of hooves against the ground, and her heart began to pound in her chest, was this it? Had her father returned bearing an answer, or help? Squeezing Killian's hand tighter, she felt an inkling of hope spark within her, maybe things would be okay.

Halting them where they stood, Killian looked at Emma when he felt her tighten her grip on his hand. The hope and excitement that blossomed on her face were beautiful. He knew what she was thinking, and, gods, did he pray she was right. Glancing back to the arriving party Killian realized almost immediately that it was not David and Arthur. This party was too large, as knight after knight arrived, seven or eight in total. He looked back to Emma to see her crestfallen expression as she came to the same realization.

"Come, love," he murmured, "no news is good news, they'll be back soon enough."

"I know they will," Emma answered, trying to sound as though she believed her words.

Killian wrapped her in his arms and hugged her fiercely, even as his heart broke for her.

She hugged him tightly, then separated just enough to kiss him. It was a heady distraction, and she needed something to get lost in. "I'm tired," she stated, breaking the kiss. "I'm so tired. Of waiting, of hoping, of trying. I just want everything to stop, just for a minute." She wasn't angry, and she wasn't crying, she was just talking, telling him exactly what she wanted.

"I think we can try to find a way to take a break. Perhaps if you find solace in my company and my arms while you're awake, the same can be found while you sleep."

Emma cocked an eyebrow, he brought up a good point. The insanity that found its way into her head abated whenever he was present, perhaps she could finally sleep if she had him with her. "It's worth a try. I can't remember the last time I slept." Without another moment's hesitation, she poofed them straight into her chambers.

Killian smiled at her, one of his brilliant, dimpled smiles, chuckling at her wordless acceptance of his idea. "All right, then, let's make it official," he said, still holding her in his arms, and gazing into her green eyes. "Emma Swan, will you take a nap with me?"

She rolled her eyes at him affectionately. "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you are?"

He grinned. "Aye, but if my antics put a smile like that on your face I'd wager they're more than worth it. Now, love, I believe I asked you a question. Will you nap with me?"

"Yes," she said, savoring the thought of a few minutes blessed sleep, something she hadn't had in nearly a week now.

Killian took off his jacket, unsnapped his hook, and then laid on the bed, arms wide in invitation. Emma curled up beside him, focusing on his warm chest at her back, his strong arm around her middle, the gentle puffs of air against her neck as he slowly drifted off. She closed her own eyes, determined to relax and fall asleep.

But after fifteen minutes of simply lying there, trying not to fidget, trying not to disturb Killian's rest, she finally gave up. Even Killian's love and comfort weren't enough to break through the darkness and allow her to rest.

"Come now, dearie," came the obnoxious voice Emma was becoming all too used to, "you didn't think it would be that easy to suppress the darkness and the natural instincts of the Dark One, did you? The love of your pirate? Really, dearie I didn't take you as so simple-minded."

Emma reluctantly opened her eyes, and found sparkly, golden Rumpelstiltskin sitting in the chair by the bed, looking down at the two of them with a mocking grin.

"Go away," she said on a sigh.

"I'm afraid that's not in the cards for you," Rumple said. "You're the Dark One, and you'll get to enjoy my company until you finally accept the inevitable and give in."

"No," Emma said louder than she'd intended. "I'll never give in. I won't embrace the darkness!"

Killian's arm tightened on her waist, before he propped himself up on an elbow and looked down at her in concern. "Swan?"

"It's okay, Killian," Emma said with a weary attempt at a smile. "It's just the darkness. You know, same old, same old. Would you mind, you know, finishing your story? I think I could use distraction more than sleep right now."

He looked at her in concern for another moment, but then he nodded. "So, there I was with my crew, a sack of gold, two bottles of potion and a magic bean, going along on my journey," he paused, yawning, and she envied his ability to find rest. She loved his voice though, and this chance to get a glimpse into his past. It wasn't often that he shared those times with her, and she nudged him, letting him know she was listening.

"Before long, we came across a narrowing in the waterway; two massive rock formations, but easily wide enough for the Jolly Roger to navigate. However, upon nearing the gap, I couldn't help but notice flotsam all around – the vestiges of past ships."

"They had been destroyed," Emma said.

"Utterly. One of my crew sounded an alarm and we heard a great rumbling and too late I realized that those hulking boulders were somehow alive and coming together just as we are entering the strait. I had no time to stop my ship or reverse course."

"What did you do?"

"The only thing I could, love. I pulled one of the potions from my satchel, the one granted me by the enchantress, and I poured it out onto the decks. Since she was a sea goddess, I thought it was our best chance." He paused, letting her curiosity build. "All of a sudden, the rocks seemed to be growing larger and larger, their movements slowing, and I understood that they weren't changing – we were."

"Your ship was smaller."

"And faster. We were through the gap and beyond danger, or at least that's what I thought at the time."

Emma turned toward him and traced her finger along the open vee of his shirt. "It wouldn't be one of your stories if it were that easy."

He took her hand in his, halting the movements of her curious fingers. "If you want to hear the rest, you'll need to stop what you are doing."

"Fine," she stopped playing with those soft chest hairs of his. "Go on," she said.

"Once clear of the cursed rocks, we thought our next obstacle was how to get the ship and ourselves back to our normal dimensions."

"I like your normal dimensions," Emma said.

"Stop being cheeky, Swan. This was serious business we were about."

"You did have another bottle of potion," she reminded him.

"True, and that was what I turned to. Unfortunately, it did not have the desired effect."

Emma sat up. "Tell me it didn't shrink you even more."

"No, it did not. It actually didn't seem to do anything, and while we were all contemplating that, we heard a vicious screeching sound coming from above."

"Oh, no."

"Oh, yes. At first, we thought they were birds; ugly, misshapen birds from the bowels of hell. As it turned out, it was far worse."

Searching her memories of mythological creatures, she guessed at one she knew, "Flying monkeys?"

He arched an eyebrow at her. "Missing your ex-fiancée, are you?"

"We were never formally engaged. I didn't answer him."

"Fair enough," he said. "No, these were Harpies. Half birds and half, for the lack of a better word, women. All razor-sharp talons and beaks, swooping out of the sky looking for a meal of delicious pirate crew. Even if we'd been full sized, we wouldn't have stood a chance, as they could have sliced us to pieces before devouring us all."

Emma's hands were busy again. Those Harpies were giving her ideas about delicious pirates, but Killian cleared his throat and fixed her with a warning look. Fine. Whatever. "You're obviously still here," she said, "so what happened with the bird monsters?"

"It was as if the gods knew what our journey held in store for us, for that second potion served to make us utterly distasteful to those winged beasts, and their claws shriveled when they tried to grasp us. They flew away, unsatisfied."

"Poor Harpies," Emma muttered. "So, the second potion was like a bird repellant."

"A particularly effective one."

"Okay, so what next?"

"Oh, just a few other obstacles here and there." He shrugged. "Through the course of time, we regained our size, and we made our way to the shores where our treasure lay waiting for us."

Emma leaned back against the headboard. "You still haven't told me what this great prize is that the king was after, and what do you mean by 'other obstacles?'"

Killian grinned up at her and she resisted the urge to kiss him. "Well, there was a dragon," he began.

"Old news," Emma said. "We've both fought Maleficent."

"True. And then there was an army of dead men that gave us pause."

"What?"

"And the fire-breathing bull. That one actually cost me more men than the skeletons."

Remembering an old movie she'd seen once at a Saturday matinee when she was ten, Emma gasped. "You were after the golden fleece!"

"Aye, that I was." Killian's smile grew. "You've heard of my adventure?"

"Sort of," Emma said, "except the guy was Jason and the ship was the Argon."

"That bloody ponce, Jason," Killian said.

"You knew him?"

"He was on my crew, and bloody drunk for most of the voyage. Worthless. I ditched him on the island when I left."

Why did these stories never play out the way she'd always been told? "So, you were the one who found the fleece?"

"Hell, no," Killian said. "That thing was enchanted so that whoever owned it couldn't be defeated in battle. It was a lost cause before we ever began."

"Then how, why…"

"As soon as we found out that bit, I grabbed the gold and used the bean to escape with my ship and what was left of my crew. We went to a realm where that king wouldn't be able to follow, since he'd foolishly given us his bean."

"But, what about Jason?"

Killian shrugged. "The drunken miscreant probably killed himself another ram and dyed the hide gold so he could tell his own tale. It explains the ship name, too."

"The Argon?" Emma asked.

"Couldn't pronounce Roger when he was that far gone. Always came out 'Argon.'" His tone conveyed his disgust over the whole ordeal.

As he told her his story, Emma had felt her body relaxing more than it had since she had been in Camelot. "Thank you for sharing," she sighed against his shoulder.

He didn't say anything for a while but she could feel his smile against the top of her head and his arms tightened around her head. "My pleasure, Love. Did it help?"

"It did," she acknowledged as she lay her hand back on his chest. She found that when she could feel the steady thump thump of his heart, it calmed her and made her actually feel that everything was going to be alright. "I'm feeling surprisingly relaxed," she gave a small self-deprecating laugh.

"I'm here for you, Emma." His voice took on a low, seductive whisper. "In any way you need me, I'm here." Kissing the top of her head, he rolled them over onto their sides, tucking her face against his chest. "Sleep now, Swan."

"You won't leave me?" She asked him hesitantly even though she knew the answer.

"Never, Emma. I'll be here when you wake," were the last words she heard before she was finally pulled under.

As Killian felt her body relax into sleep, he vowed he would do whatever necessary to bring her back to him. Watching what the darkness was doing to her was killing him, but she was strong and together they were stronger. They would fight this thing, together.

Relishing the closeness he felt when holding her in his arms, he allowed himself to drift to sleep.

Hours later, after her father had returned with the Crimson Crown, he found himself feeling a hope that he hadn't felt since arriving in this place. Walking along with Emma toward the Round Table room for her father's Knighting Ceremony with their fingers laced, he could tell by the look on her face that she was feeling it too.

~fin

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