"Hahahaha!" Ron laughed like a madman as he, Harry, and Neville sat in a pub. The other patrons in the pub gave the three of them odd looks as Ron continued to laugh. Normally, Harry would have been a bit concerned about gaining unwanted attention, but tonight he was too drunk to care.

"So, she just shut the door on you?" Neville asked, "What happened after that?"

"Ms. Granger I need to talk to your daughter!" Harry had shouted, "Will you please open the door?!"

Hermione didn't answer him, so he pressed his ear against the door to see if he could hear anything.

"Who's the guy yelling outside mom?" Harry heard someone ask Hermione.

"He's no one important Eloise," Hermione said, "If we ignore him he'll go away."

"You know I can hear you right?!" Harry had shouted.

"I don't care!"

"Ms. Granger I have something very important to tell your daughter," Harry said, "And I know you know that she needs to know what I'm going to tell her!"

"Go away!" Hermione shouted.

"If you're going to be so stubborn, I'll wait here then!" Harry shouted.

"If you don't leave right now, I'll call the police!" Hermione shouted.

"Why? I haven't done anything illegal!"

Harry heard the loud sirens of police cars that sounded like they were getting closer. He sighed, getting arrested wasn't something he was looking forward to, and it'd only complicate matters later. Harry apparated back to Hogwarts where he had decided to come up with a different strategy...

...He still hadn't come up with a decent plan, and now he was sitting here trying to drink his frustration away. Harry slammed the mug of beer he'd been drink on the counter and called out to the bartender for another glass.

"Are you sure you should be drinking Harry?" Neville asked as he watched Harry gulp down the alcohol, "I don't think getting drunk is going to solve your problems."

" *Hic* Shutup Neville!" Harry slurred, "I'm a reshponisble adult who knows what he's doing!"

"You don't look responsible from where I'm sitting..."

"God my life shucks!" Harry shouted as he slammed his head on the table, "I never knew that being a teacher would be sho hard, I think I'm starting to undershtand what shnape went through!"

"You know what you need Harry?!" Ron shouted, "A woman to help you put your mind at ease, how about you date my sister?"

"Ron I'm drunk, not shtupid!" Harry shouted, "You know that Ginny and I don't get along well, you remember the Yule Ball right?"

"How could I forget?" Ron crackled, "You were so nervous that you ended up puking all over her dress, the look on her face was priceless!"

"Yeah, laugh it up Mr. Ministry," Harry said, "Let'sh not forget the fact that you showed up to the ball in a dressh!"

"That was because Granger turned my clothes into a dress when I tried to ask her to go to the ball with me!" Ron shouted, "And she was only pissed because you tried to ask her out!"

"Anyway, you're also a lonely bachelor like me," Harry said, "So it'sh not like you've got room to talk!"

"Goddamnit you're right!" Ron shouted, "How the hell am I still a bachelor, I'm so good looking!"

The bartender chuckled at this as he wiped down one of the glasses. Neville covered his mouth to stop himself from smirking.

"Anyway Harry, why don't you try a different approach?" Neville said as he got his facial features under control.

"A different approach?" Harry parroted.

"Instead of going through Hermione, why don't you go through her daughter?" Neville asked, "I'm sure you can catch her alone when Hermione isn't around."

"I guessh I could go to Hermione'sh daughter'sh shchool..." Harry said, "Yeah...that could actually work!"

"Wow Neville, you can up with pretty good ideas!" Ron shouted, "Three cheers for the traitor that left all of us bachelors in the dust!"

…..

"Ugh..." Harry rubbed his temples as he stood at the entrance to Hermione's daughter's school. "I shouldn't have gone out to drink last night..."

Harry walked into the building and walked into the principal's office, which was thankfully near the entrance. A blond woman sat behind a desk as she idly blew a pink bubble while she was working on...whatever she was working on.

"Excuse me," Harry said, "Can I speak to the principal?"

"I don't know, can you?" The woman said.

"...that's why I'm asking you." Harry said, "I need to talk to the principal about a student who goes to this school, her name is Eloise and-"

"Oh you're looking for her," The woman frowned, "Did she do something to upset you?"

"I-"

"Well then I'll call her up here," The woman said as she grabbed the phone on her desk, "Eloise Granger, please report to the principal's office!"

The woman then placed the phone back on her desk and smiled at Harry, "She'll be here soon, in the meantime..."

The woman handed him a white card that had a phone number on it.

"You can give me a call, it's a shame that a handsome man like you isn't married to anyone."

"How did you know I wasn't married?" Harry asked before he realized that she'd been looking at his hand during the entire conversation. "Oh, so that's how you knew..."

The blond woman winked at him, which made him shiver.

"We can set up a date when I have free time," The woman said, "Wouldn't that be wonderful?"

"I-"

"Yeah?" Someone said as they walked into the office, "What'd you need me here for?"

Harry turned to see that a girl with dark hair tied into a messy ponytail had walked into the room. She was wearing the usual uniform he had seen some of the girls wear when he had first arrived on the school grounds. Recognition flashed in the girl's eyes as she stared at Harry, and something nagged him in the back of his mind.

"The least you could do is show some respect you brat," The blond woman growled, "There's someone here to see you, his name is..."

She blinked and turned to face Harry, "What's your name?"

You were planning on taking me out on a date before you even knew my name? Harry thought to himself.

"My name is Harry Potter," Harry said.

"Harry came all the way here to see you Ms. Granger," The blond woman said, "I think he'll finally be the one to get you expelled from this school and I'll be free of you and your mother!"

"Uh-huh, you said that the last time too," Eloise said, "And how did that turn out again?"

"Ugh!" The blond woman ground her teeth as she turned away from Eloise to look at Harry, "Mr. Potter do you have any evidence to get her expelled?"

"I don't want to get her expelled, I just wanted to talk to her," Harry said, "Could you leave us alone for a few moments?"

"I can't do that I-"

"Please? If you leave, I might go out on a date with you." Harry lied.

"Fine, but you better be on your best behavior Ms. Granger!" The blond woman said as she left her desk and entered a room in the back of the hallway that was behind her desk. Harry waited until the door was shut before he cast a spell to lock the door.

"So, Ms. Granger we finally get to meet face to face," Harry said as he smiled at the girl. "My name is Harry Potter, I'm a professor at an academy called Hogwarts-"

"You're also the crazy guy that my mom called the cops on," Eloise said, "So I think I'm going to leave..."

"Wait!" Harry shouted as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a rumpled letter, "Before you go, I want you to have this."

"A letter?"

"When you open it things will be a bit clearer," Harry said, "Just don't tell your mother that I gave you that letter."

"Too late for that Mr. Potter," Harry heard the blond woman from earlier say. He blinked in surprise to see that she had gotten out of the room he had locked her in.

"How did you get out of that room?" Harry asked.

The woman smirked and raised a familiar wand into the air, before her entire appearance shifted.

"It turns out that disguise spells are pretty useful," Hermione said, "I guess I know why the Weasley twins loved using it so much."

"Hermione I-"

"Stupefy!"