Hello! I know, it's been a while, but it's just like that sometimes, things get in the way and I've wanted time for myself. And to tell you the Truth i've been worried about updating lwa fics again after such a long pause.

But here I am! I've been working on my original writing too, so if you like my writing style and are interested in my stories, just let me know! You can also go to my tumblr blog, where I will be making updates on my Schedule and which fic i'll be posting next and which day! The tag will be 'fic update', and as for my original content, i have my own blog for that, I will share it if you want.

The next fic to be updated is going to be 'Love and Misfortune', check my blog (Akilice) for which day! With that aside, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and please let me know what you think of it! Have a nice day!

Chapter 4: I loved, and I loved, and I lost you.

A light and short laugh escaped her lips, as her heart beat to match the feeling in her chest.

Euphoria.

She leaned up, kissing the emerald eyed witch, her hands tangled in her hair. She tried to convey what she was feeling, to return it to the woman who gave it to her in the first place. She smiled as her lips moved against hers, and her arms pulled her closer, almost protectively.

"What's gotten into you?" Croix chuckled as they pulled away. She gently moved a stray red lock behind Chariot's ear, the color matching the blush that made its way to the younger witch's face.

"You." Chariot just said with a smile, causing her to raise an eyebrow.

"Me?" Croix asked softly, with an amused grin.

"I love you." Chariot said, before hugging her and burying her head into her shoulder, smiling in satisfaction. Her smile grew wider, as her lover's hand moved down her long hair, and started playing with its tips.

"I love you-"

Chariot jolted awake. Her heart was beating fast, as if trying to keep up with her rapid breaths. The dream she was having was a blur to her now, and what was even worse was the fact that it all became a jumbled mess at the end, that she could only describe it as a nightmare.

She took a deep breath, finally regaining her composure.

She got up, and left the bedroom. She noticed that Croix was passed out on the couch, with piles of papers and blueprints on the coffee table. She frowned at the mess, and decided to freshen up before waking up her 'wife'.

She stared at herself in the mirror for a good amount of time, trying to recognize the face staring back at her. She couldn't.

There were so many things that she didn't know about herself. All she could do was speculate about some things.

She noticed that her body was in good shape, good abs and muscles, so it made her wonder if she had a workout routine.

There were times where her left arm would hurt her for no reason, as if something heavy was weighing on it, crushing it.

The pain would overwhelm her for a moment, before it disappears.

What caused that pain? Was it an old injury? Something else?

Today, she wondered how strange and unusual her eyes looked. She asked Croix about it and she told her they looked like pokeballs… she had no idea what that meant, but she took her word for it.

She then heard a loud thud and opened the door to look at the source. Croix fell off the couch, her face buried into the carpet.

"Are you okay?" Chariot asked, and Croix simply raised her hand up, gave her a thumbs up, and continued to sleep on the floor.

After a while, the lilac haired witch finally woke up. She looked exhausted, and Chariot wondered if she had any sleep at all.

Chariot looked at her in worry, as she stared at her breakfast for the past few minutes. She only took a few bites, and small ones at that.

"Are you okay?" Chariot asked again, and Croix looked at her for a moment, before rubbing her neck.

"Yeah, I'm just tired." She answered, and her eyes moved to Alcor, who was eating his own breakfast. At least he was around to keep the redhead company. "I need to go to school. I can't leave my classroom empty for longer."

She sighed, wondering if she should curse Finneran or thank her for calling her back to the school. She had to stay beside Chariot, and help her adjust to her life and perhaps find a way to trigger back her memories, but she was also feeling emotionally exhausted just by being in the same space as her.

A break, even a small one, would be good for her.

"Oh, okay." Chariot simply said, not sure how else to respond. She looked away, as she took a sip from her tea.

If she was being honest, she didn't like the idea of staying on her own. She had no idea what to do, not to mention, she had no memories of what she would usually do.

Fortunately, she could still understand crow language, so perhaps she wouldn't be so alone with her familiar by her side.

Croix gave her one last look, before standing up.

"If you need anything, just call me, okay?" She said, and the redhead just nodded.

Croix wanted to say so much more, but how could she?

They were nothing but strangers, so what else could she say?

She took a deep breath, reached for her jacket, and left.

Chariot sighed, and sank into her chair. She looked at her familiar who was watching her curiously. She gave him a small smile, before closing her eyes for a moment.

Everything was such a mess. Nothing really felt real to her.

It's that contradiction again, where her mind has no memories to back up anything she's being told or feeling, while her body did the opposite, giving her a sense of comfort and familiarity to certain things.

She felt both comfortable yet suffocated in this house, and it frustrated her.

She didn't understand what she wanted.

After taking a deep breath and opening her eyes, she decided to look around now that she was on her own. Croix didn't bother her, but she felt more comfortable trying to discover things on her own and without anyone around to watch.

She heard a caw from behind.

Well, Alcor was around, but that was okay.

She picked the plates, making sure to tidy the kitchen before doing anything. She looked at the mess that Croix left on the coffee table, and frowned.

Usually, she would clean it up, but she seemed off this time. She didn't look like she was getting enough sleep, and that thought made the guilt resurface. She would happily trade and sleep on the couch, after all, it didn't feel like she earned sleeping in that bed…

...Not when she was causing her so much anguish.

"Caw!" Alcor landed on her shoulder, and stared at her.

"I'm okay." She said, smiling. He gave her an unimpressed look. "Fine, I'm not, but I will be."

Or at least, she hoped that she would be fine.

-Forget me not-

Finneran has seen her fair chair of her old student's 'phases' and strange fashion 'statements', not to mention her angry ball of her hair back as a student, so it hardly came as a surprise to neither of them when she said:

"You look terrible."

"Wow, thanks." Croix answered, dryly. She continued to type on her laptop, having just finished teaching one of her classes. "Why are you here?" She asked, and it probably came off ruder than she had planned, but who could blame her?

Her entire world was collapsing.

It couldn't get any worse than this.

"I'm sorry about calling you back with how things are currently. We will find a replacement soon." Finneran said, and the lilac haired witch shut her laptop, before running her hand through her hair.

"No, it's fine. I don't trust anyone but Constanze to teach in my place and, she's still busy starting her own business." Croix said, rubbing her eyes. It was hard to function properly.

The older professor sighed, and gave her a sympathetic stare. Sure, the two had their differences, but the young prodigy had proved herself and became a better person after the whole missile incident.

It was easy for someone with good intentions and large ambitions to lose their way, and wasn't it a professor's job to lead a student back to the right path?

Unfortunately, it took her too long to learn to support her students and accept them for who they are.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but would you like a drink later to take your mind off things?" She asked. "You look like you need it." Croix chuckled.

"No, I don't drink." She answered, then looked away, crossing her arms. "I think I might continue to work here, it's just hard to be at home right now."

"She needs you."

"I know." She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. When she uncrossed her arms, her hand moved to her wedding ring, turning it back and forth. "I don't know how to deal with this. We're just strangers living together."

"I informed Diana of the matter." Finneran said, and hesitated, before putting a hand on her former student's shoulder. Croix looked at her for a split second, before looking down. It was heart wrenching for the older woman to see someone so full of confidence, on the verge of breaking down.

It was as if she went back in time, several years ago. Those green eyes looked so tired and broken, and her outfit was full of dirt, complimenting the cuts and bruises on her skin. She was silent, and didn't even defend herself. She just asked them to give her in and get over with it.

Finneran sighed again, before pulling away, and leaving Croix to her thoughts.

-Forget me not-

Chariot felt lonely.

It wasn't the fact that she was alone, no, it was the fact that she had nothing to grip into, it was as if every waking moment had her falling.

She was staring at pictures she was supposed to know, faces she was supposed to recognize, but everytime she tried, there was nothing.

Just a void.

She stared forever at her wedding pictures, silently begging for them to speak to her, to tell her what she needed, but that wouldn't happen, so she continued to study everything in them.

She and Croix looked happy…

It was jarring, to see such joy in those emerald eyes, when she was used to seeing pain in them.

Pain that she caused.

Sighing, she finally flipped the page.

She saw two girls with them. One looked rather elegant, her blue eyes and her stance almost gave her an air of royalty. The other girl looked energetic, filing a large part of the picture, with her hands raised up and her grin wide.

Croix stared at the girl, annoyed, while Chariot smiled, happy.

It felt as if their names were at the tip of her tongue, yet nothing came out. It's like trying to move, but your body refuses, like trying to breathe but you're stuck and you're suffocating.

She put away the album. This was a bad idea.

She sat on her bed, pulling her knees towards her chest and hugging them.

She felt cold.

Something inside her was yelling at her to call Croix back, to tell her she needed her, to tell her to hold her.

But how could she?

They were just strangers, from the redhead's point of view.

Before she could drown in her own thoughts, she heard the doorbell ringing. Frowning, she stood up and walked outside to open it.

She expected to see her 'wife', but instead, she was met with a terrifyingly excited pair of red eyes, and that was the last thing she saw before getting tackled to the ground.

"OOF!" She let out, wincing as her back hit the floor. The girl… or rather woman now, pulled away from her.

"CHARIOT I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU!"

"Eh?" The redhead just blinked.

"It's me, Akko! Your favorite student and biggest fan!" Akko pointed at herself, and the redhead realized that she was the same girl from the picture, except older. "Oh, yeah right, you can't remember." She scolded herself, before lending her a hand and helping her up stand up.

And so, she found herself pouring tea for the brunette, and curiously watching her patting Alcor. She handed her a cup, which she gladly accepted.

Chariot sat down on the couch, facing her.

"So, you were one of my students?" She asked, before looking down at her own cup. She took a sip, hoping that it would calm her a little.

"Yes! I am also your biggest fan! You inspired me to become a witch!" Akko smiled at her, and she couldn't help but return the gesture. "I remember when I first saw your show! It was the most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyes on!" She closed her eyes, as if recalling the memory. "You were amazing."

Chariot blinked.

That didn't sound like her at all.

Then again, she didn't know herself anymore.

"Anyway! I've decided that I will help you get your memories back!" She announced, and the redhead blinked. "Worry not! You will have them back in no time!"

"How?"

"I don't know but I will figure something out!"

Chariot continued to sip her tea, feeling uncomfortable. This girl, uh… woman, had no plan, and that was the last thing she needed right now.

What if she never got her memories back? What happens then?

Would everyone abandon her?

Would her 'wife' leave her because she was unable to return her affection, or because she was no longer the same person?

Would she end up all alone?

"I got it!" Akko slammed her palms against the table, startling the older witch. "The fountain of Polaris!"

-Forget me not-

Chariot was gripping tightly into Akko, as they flew through the leyline. Her 'student' lacked the skill her 'wife' had, and she certainly flew recklessly, almost dropping her in the process.

Chariot was definitely scared for her life.

Once they were out -much to the redhead's relief- she was met with a familiar place. It was where Croix took her to meet Arcas. Akko opened the gate with the flick of her wand, and was immediately met with an angry Arcas.

Alcor, who has followed them here, decided it was his cue to leave.

The polar bear looked at Akko, and Chariot could only describe his expression as… disappointment.

"He tried to eat me once." Akko said, and was met with a look of concern and confusion. She shrugged and started walking inside. "I came here before for help, and the fountain showed me what I needed, so maybe it could help you!"

"I will see my own memories?" Chariot asked, trying to grasp what she has been told. She followed the brunette, and hugged herself, feeling a strange dread fall over her body.

"I hope so."

They both fell silent. The redhead was unsure how to feel about this. She was scared, but also hopeful. Perhaps this could help her, perhaps seeing some of her memories could trigger them back.

She didn't know how it could work but she really hoped that she wouldn't feel so lost anymore.

She suddenly stopped when she found herself alone, in the middle a stairway. She looked around, but neither Akko nor Arcas were anywhere to be seen.

Frowning, she decided to continue walking, until she reached the end of the stairs. She looked up at the stars, gasping at their shining lights, before moving her gaze to the sphere before her, glowing and surrounded by what looked like waves of water.

She stared for a moment, unsure of what to do. Was there a special word? Something she should do? A secret button?

She had no idea.

There was nothing but her own reflection staring back at her. A reflection she found hard to remember or accept.

She started to wonder if this was all in vain, until the sphere's glow blinded her eyes. She used her arms to shield herself, and once the glowing stopped, she allowed herself to look again.

And she wished she hasn't.

Meanwhile, Croix was blankly staring at her laptop, too tired and sad to do anything. If she was being honest, she was trying to kill time before going home.

She couldn't face her wife yet, and she dreaded flying home and meeting those eyes that didn't recognize her, nor loved her.

Unfortunately, Alcor flew by her classroom's window, catching her attention. She raised an eyebrow, then used her wand to open the window for him. He flew towards her, landing on her arm.

"Alcor, why are you here?" She asked, and her eyes widened as he cawed. She looked down, thinking. "Why would they be at the fountain…?" She paused, almost as if words got caught in her throat.

Realization hit her.

She took her broom, and made her way to the fountain's location. She was flying at a dangerous speed, praying that she could catch up to them before Chariot would see anything.

Or at least she hoped that the fountain wouldn't screw her over.

Once she landed there, she took off running inside.

Please, God, let me make it… let me make it this time.

She stopped abruptly, as she noticed a worried and guilty looking Akko standing next to Chariot, who had her back turned to her.

"Chariot?" Croix called, as she slowly approached her. The brunette shook her head, but it was too late, as the redhead turned to face her 'wife'.

Croix's heart sank, as she was met with Chariot's crying face.

The red eyes she would stare at for hours, the eyes that always managed to warm her heart and ease her worries, were staring back at her with fear and hatred.

Croix's breaths quickened, and she looked down at her own shaking hands, before forcing herself to look back at Chariot.

She slowly reached a hand out, and tried to take a step forward, but it only lead to the redhead hugging herself and taking a few steps back.

"Stay away!" She yelled with so much anguish, that it felt like a punch to the older witch's gut.

There was a time, long ago, when she tried her hardest to break the woman before her, all because of her jealousy and pettiness.

And now, when all she wanted was to give her the world, when all she wanted was her happiness… It would look like she got her wish.

Croix wanted to laugh at the irony of the situation, but she found herself frozen, her gaze never leaving her...wife's.

Croix Meridies always got what she wanted, right?

Better late than never…

...right…?