"…but then Xander cheated on her with Rosenberg and they broke up," Harmony finished before taking a sip of coco.

Xander leaned back in the booth. "Yeah, Red was looking for a delusting spell when Spike kidnapped us and beat me to get her to cast a love spell for him. We were saying our goodbyes to one another, since we were pretty sure he was going to kill us, when the gang rescued us." He'd already explained things to Cordite, but Harmony hadn't heard this side of things.

"You've mentioned Spike, he's the one Buffy's Mom axed?" Cordite asked, trying to keep her anger under control until she had a target for it.

"A Master Vampire with two Slayer kills under his belt," Xander explained. "Looks like Billie Idol, bleached blond hair, leather duster, around two centuries old."

"Did Cordelia get that scar on her stomach from fighting him?" Harmony asked. "I knew she got injured around then."

"No, she got upset at seeing me and Red kissing and ran off, falling on a piece of rebar," Xander explained. "So I lost my girlfriend and my best friend in one night. Even if you ignored the cracked ribs and concussion, it was not a good night for me."

"She is still really upset about that scar," Harmony said, "you should hear her complain about not being able to wear a two piece swimsuit anymore and continually being reminded that you cheated on her."

"Risk your life for someone over and over, and that is what they focus on," Xander said, shaking his head before taking a bite of the giant cookie Harmony had bought him.

"The people in this world have some screwed up priorities," Cordite said.

"Probably," Harmony agreed with a relaxed smile. "Sex with Xander was great and all, but rescuing me from that vampire is definitely going to stick with me longer."

"Pretty sure I've saved you from vampires before," Xander said, "but there was a lot of screaming and running around at the time so you probably didn't notice."

"Really?" Harmony asked, wide eyed before chewing on her lower lip as she tried to recall events she'd repressed. "I think you're right. You and your friends always showed up when the screaming started. Of course, most thought you had something to do with it."

"It probably did look like that," Xander admitted with a sigh. "We always did our best to get there before everything went down but most of the time we were just trying not to be late."

"Well, at least you weren't late," Harmony said with a smile.

"Not often anyway," Xander said, thinking of the people they'd lost.

"So you guys run around fighting vampires?" Harmony asked. "I mean, you like, hunt them down instead of having a hobby?"

"Pretty much," Xander agreed. "Got tired of losing friends to those things, not to mention the yearly 'Let's End The World' attempts."

"Wow," Harmony said, blown away by the enormity of what the people she'd recently dismissed as losers faced just because they'd decided to. "I can't believe all this is going on and nobody knows."

"Some people know," Xander said, "just not people in general, because every time that's happened even worse things followed."

Harmony considered that. "Yeah, I can't see the government coming up with a workable program to fight vampires. It is just vampires, right?"

"No, just about everything exists," Xander said, "vampires are just the most numerous. They're like cockroaches."

"What else is there?" Harmony asked. "Do unicorns exist?!"

Xander opened his mouth, stopped, and considered it. "I don't know, I'll have to ask Giles. I mainly deal with things that try and kill people and despite the built in people opener, I don't think unicorns are all that stabby."

"I've never heard of them being all that stabby," Cordite agreed. "All I've heard is that they like to hang around with virgins, which makes me wonder what the horn is for."

"And on that disturbing note, I'm changing the subject," Xander said. "Where should we go next to hunt vampires?"

"The Bronze," Cordite replied, "there should be a couple of fledges if nothing else."

"It does attract the younger crowd," Xander agreed.

Harmony quickly finished her coco. "Good, we can get in some dancing as well."

"You hate my dancing," Xander reminded her.

"I don't hate it," Harmony assured him.

"The first time you saw me dancing you called an ambulance," he reminded her, "and stabbed me in the face with a pen."

"I thought you were having a seizure," Harmony said, blushing, "and you're supposed to stick something in their mouth to keep them from biting off their tongue."

Cordite bit her lip to keep from laughing. While the world was different, the people remained the same.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Xander has a harem?" Joyce asked, having been told twice already, but still finding the concept strange. "A harem that jumped worlds to find him?"

Marcie nodded. "We have a good thing going and we don't want it to end."

"But… it's a different Xander," Joyce pointed out as she ate.

"You'd have to ask the magic types for proof, but the soul remains the same, they are the same person, just one who lived a different life," Marcie explained, before taking a sip of milk.

"So, Buffy and Beth are the same person?" Joyce asked doubtfully.

"Yes," Marcie agreed, "they simply lived different lives. To sum it up, 'the timeline splits, the soul doesn't."

"That is so difficult to wrap my head around," Joyce said.

"You're telling me," Buffy agreed.

"It's dealing with infinity, time, and souls," Marcie pointed out, "those are all heavy concepts apart, much less together, and I'm not even going to try and figure it out, I'll just nod, smile and agree with the person who got a headache trying to understand it."

Beth nodded. "I'm not a Supe-Bra-Genius by any means, so I'm perfectly happy to let others deal with the headaches involved and take their word for it."

"What's being in Xander's harem like?" Joyce asked, opting for an easier topic.

"Much better than being on my own," Beth said, "Willow's a great Alpha and being a trouble shooter is fun and exciting. Xander makes sure all our needs are met and that we're happy."

"Food, clothing, and sex?" Joyce asked, just to be sure.

"Food and clothing," Beth said, blushing slightly. "I don't actually need sex, though I didn't know that until recently. I've never… and he didn't push for it, just telling me when I needed it to make sure Willow knew."

"So you don't need to be in a harem," Buffy said firmly.

"As Xander said, it's not about need, it's about want," Beth replied. "I was alone until I met them and now I'm not alone anymore. I have family and we take care of each other."

"Does it being a different Xander change anything?" Joyce asked.

Beth smiled. "Not noticeably. Xander, is Xander, is Xander. This Xander is a little more relaxed, not as worried about things, but since this world is so much brighter, that's completely understandable."

"Do you have any plans for schooling?" Joyce asked.

"Willow makes sure we keep up on schooling," Beth said, "I doubt being in another world is going to change that."

"She hasn't said anything, but I've peeked at her notebook," Marcie offered, "figuring out what classes we have to retake due to local changes is already on the list."

"That's good," Joyce said with approval. "Regardless of what the future holds, a good education is something you'll need."

"Trust me, Willow is in charge of our education and she does not mess around," Beth said with a groan.

"And Cordite handles our physical training," Marcie added. "There's little we can't handle."

"I always thought being in a harem involved more laying around on pillows and having sex," Buffy said, as she realized what they meant by 'harem' was even further from the concept she knew than she thought.

"There is plenty of that too," Marcie assured her, "but we're a trouble shooting team, we handle problems the local authorities can't and you don't get that good resting on your tail."

"It was a minor miracle they accepted me," Beth admitted, "my grades were nothing to write home about and while I'm a decent fighter, Cordite blows me out of the water."

"Originally it was pity," Marcie admitted easily, making Beth slump in her seat. "Xander never was one to leave a girl in need," Marcie explained, "but then Willow got curious as she couldn't identify what Pokegirl Beth was and Cordite noticed how quickly she picked up new fighting techniques."

"That's because she's a Slayer, not a Pokegirl," Buffy said firmly.

"We know that now, we didn't back then," Marcie said. "Anyway, normally we would have found her a tamer she liked, but Willow liked her and then she started having psychic visions and we didn't have any psychic types in the harem, so Cordite started to take her training seriously."

Beth perked up. "I half thought she was trying to kill me or drive me off with how hard the training was."

"The harder she pushed you the better you performed," Marcie replied. "You earned your spot in the harem, though there was a little concern about you going feral because you never took a turn in the rotation."

"That's because she doesn't need to have sex with Xander," Buffy said, "she's human."

Marcie ignored her, having already decided all the locals were incredible prudes. "I mean, you never even joined in when we girls were playing around, so half of us were convinced this was just how a feral whatever you were behaved."

"It'd feel wrong to have sex with you guys when I hadn't had sex with Xander," Beth told her.

"You're gay?" Buffy asked in disbelief.

"I can't tell you how much time Willow spent on research trying to figure out what type you were, so she could see that you were properly trained," Marcie said with a giggle, "it was frustrating her to no end."

"Some Pokegirls require specific training methods to get them to respond," Beth explained to Joyce and Buffy.

"Yes, but you're not a Pokegirl, you're human," Buffy said once more, "and not gay, or at least I'm not."

"I'm not a Psi-dyke," Beth said, "I like guys just fine."

"So, what was the problem?" Marcie asked curiously.

"Xander is the tamer of a well known troubleshooting harem, he has a Vixen and a Mini-Top and keeps them both happy and getting along," Beth said, "it's intimidating as hell and I'm afraid… I'll be a disappointment."

"A disappointment?" Buffy asked, confused.

"Amy passes out way before Xander is finished and he doesn't find her a disappointment," Marcie pointed out, "he thinks it's cute."

"So… I'm just overthinking things?" Beth asked with a smile, hope in her voice.

"I'd say so," Marcie assured her, "unless the whole Slayer things means fifteen seconds is the norm, in which case we will tease you."

"I've never had that problem," Beth said quickly. She let out a relieved sigh. "Would you mind…"

"Yes?" Marcie asked.

"Would you mind helping with my first taming session?" Beth asked hopefully.

Marcie grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. "I'd love to."

"But you don't need to have sex with Xander," Buffy said wide eyed, really not sure how to feel about this.

"And you don't need to eat Rocky Road ice cream," Beth told Buffy, "but good luck giving it up."

"Mom, aren't you going to say anything?" Buffy asked.

"Xander is a fine young man and certainly a better choice than others I've seen," Joyce offered, before taking a sip of her drink.

"Are you drunk?" Buffy asked.

"Working on it," Joyce replied.

"Mom!"

"Daughter!" Joyce fired back with a grin. "Dear, your sister has a family who takes care of her and although you may not make the same choices she does, that doesn't make hers wrong."

Beth's smile was one Joyce rarely saw on Buffy these days, as the responsibilities of being the Slayer weighed heavily on her, and she decided she'd have to see what she could do to help Buffy find it again.

"B-but she's talking about having sex with Xander!" Buffy exclaimed.

"Be responsible and use birth control," Joyce told Beth.

"That's a problem we don't have," Marcie assured her. "If there's one thing our technology has down its birth control and sexual health."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"A lot more males than I'm used to seeing in a club," Cordite noted as she leaned on the railing and gazed at the lower level.

"Your world is short on guys?" Harmony asked curiously.

"There are at least six girls for every one guy where I'm from and in other areas it could run from ten to twenty to one," Cordite explained.

"That must suck," Harmony said.

Cordite smiled. "I've been with Xander since I turned thirteen, so it's never been my problem."

"Is your Xander here too?"

"My other self died protecting the nursery at the hospital," Xander said, sliding an arm around Cordite and pulling her against him, "but in this timeline I'm fine."

"Sounds like the plot to a Back To the Future sequel," Harmony said. "Who wants to dance?"

"You two dance, I see my next victim escorting two girls out into the alley," Cordite said with an evil grin. She kissed Xander on the cheek. "Have fun Nerd Boy, I'll be back in a minute."

Harmony grabbed Xander's hand and pulled him towards the stairs down to the dance floor.

"I hope you know what you're doing," Xander told her.

"I've seen you dance and you've gotten better," Harmony assured him.

"If you're sure," Xander said as they stepped onto the floor and started to move.

"With the beat, not against it," Harmony said as she grabbed his hips and forced him to move the way she wanted him to.

Within a matter of minutes the two were moving in sync and enjoying themselves when the music switched to a slow song.

"Now this I can handle," Xander said as he stepped close and put his arms around her.

"Harmony?" a nearby voice asked in disbelief.

The two turned and frowned as they saw it wasn't Cordite but Cordelia addressing them.

"The loser you used to date?" the young man with Cordelia asked with a sneer in his voice, as he adjusted his sports coat.

"You've got something on your shirt," Xander said, his right hand sliding behind him.

The man looked down, "I don't see any-" he turned to ash and Xander quickly returned his stake to his pocket and spun away with Harmony to continue their dance.

"How'd you know he was a vampire?" Harmony asked wide eyed as they swayed to the music.

"Looked too perfect, eyes didn't look right, and only breathed to speak," Xander replied, "I could have been wrong, but he was really easy to spot."

"I'm surprised no one's screamed or anything," Harmony said as he pulled her close.

"People only see what they want to see around here," Xander told her, "we call it Sunnydale Syndrome."

"And the flashing lights and music can hide a lot," Harmony said thoughtfully, "making it hard for people to be sure what they've seen."

"Exactamundo," Xander said, before a familiar brunette joined them.

"Trapped two in the alley, it was barely a problem," Cordite said, "let's go home and have sex."

"I love my life," Xander said as Cordite pulled the two of them towards the door, none of them noticing a confused looking Cordelia on the edge of the crowd.

"What is going on?" Cordelia asked aloud, before deciding to go get Buffy. She wasn't sure what she'd just seen but that wasn't her!

Typing By: Abyssal Angel

TN: I've ended up referring to this version of Buffy as Broken Record Buffy in my head by this point.

AN: The thought of any version of her banging Xander is really freaking her out.