Spock wasn't entirely sure what to do. It had seemed like she was pulling away, but then it became clear it was more about emphasising the importance of boundaries, and it was hardly as if he should not have been aware she would likely be sensitive on this particular subject. Then the connection, he had wanted her to know the feelings beneath the logic, had let his emotions come to the fore, hoping to reassure her that he wanted to nourish the bond between them without pressuring her. He had thought he would find hesitance, or uncertainty, he had not expected affection. It was... encouraging, but then of course was the fear that had come on its heels. Which made him concerned about its source...
He couldn't help but think there had been a logical reason to suppress one's emotions.
If this was to progress though they would have to figure out a way to be that suited them. His research the night before had yielded very little results. Vulcan advice on courtship was based around the idea of someone who had lost their partner for some reason and wished to locate a new partner, it mostly included informing the person of your interest, explaining the reasons for it, sharing information on your own skills and attributes, and putting forth an explanation of how it would be mutually beneficial. He doubted that would be effective. There were puzzling references in some of the texts to older methods, but most of that had not been deemed important information to keep duplicate records off world regarding. So much of their history had been lost in the destruction of Vulcan. If he had thought it relevant to his life he could have easily read up on the matter by requesting information from the large libraries at the Science Academy, or from one of the cultural or historical centres, but they were all gone now.
He had also looked at human courtship rituals, which ranged from the interesting to the bizarre, some were even quite frankly worrying. But none of them seemed especially applicable, at least not the ones he had located thus far, and how was he to begin to guess which, if any, would be positive. The giving of cut vegetation seemed somewhat pointless, something temporary and dying, and the giving of jewellery seemed like an attempt to define her style, and he had already seen her reaction to any attempts to curtail her hard won freedom. Embedding ink into your skin or engaging in dangerous behaviours to attract attention was somewhat redundant, she was already well aware of his actions in Starfleet, the risks he had been through in the incidents relating to the destruction of their planet were well publicised.
"Spock?" He realised he had not spoken for a while, his father had left him to his thoughts as he finished readying himself for their intended trip to the colony's small school, where the students wanted to ask him questions. "It is time for us to leave. It is good that you are considering the matter with such seriousness, but you cannot rush these matters and as such you must ensure you continue your activities with due diligence also." Spock nodded. He had to ask however.
"I am sorry to bring up matters which may cause pain, but if I might ask how you went about courting my mother?" Sarek smiled at Spock's question, he had known this was coming.
"Your mother was a very patient woman. As much as I courted her, she helped me to understand how and we developed confidence in one another together. The main thing you must do, or at least the best advice that I am able to give on the matter, is to listen to what is said, and to what goes unsaid. Try and understand as much as you can of her emotions and their causes and then try and bring about positive ones. Try and understand your own emotions, and share them with her. For all that there are many customs across many worlds, at their core they all focus around showing the other person that you care for their well being, and often that you can provide for them and their offspring, but that is less of a concern on modern federation worlds." Spock nodded solemnly as he listened to his father's advice. But he was going to try and put it from his mind somewhat at least the questions of the children would help somewhat with that. "I will say that if you get the information on old Vulcan techniques and choose to trial them, the providing of and sharing of meals is clearly a proving ability to provide tactic, but can easily become a caring one by careful thought regarding the choice of pleasing foods."
While Spock had sought his father's advice before speaking with the children, he was not expecting further advice unsolicited from his fellow crew members... The first was shortly after he had finished speaking at the school.
"Dr McCoy, is something the matter?" T'Leiarel had commented she would be spending the day in sickbay and Spock couldn't think of another reason the doctor might be contacting him while he was on planet.
"No, not really... that is... I don't know if you've put much thought into some form of apology, for... the way things seemed to be between you? I realise you might not want advice but..." The doctor sounded awkward, and hushed, almost furtive, presumably he was having the conversation without her knowing about it, while she was otherwise engaged. Although Spock suspected he might not be aware of how sensitive a Vulcan's hearing could be.
"Is T'Leiarel present with you at the moment doctor?" He asked, as the doctor paused slightly.
"Um... no, she's just went to get some supplies." That should be sufficient, so it was the other medical staff he was being discreet around. "Look, I get that Vulcans might be different, but for humans we'd see about trying to smooth things over a bit after a falling out like that. Nothing too big but I know you might just go being logical about the matter being settled, and well... those of us with emotions sometimes need some sign that the other person actually cares about upsetting them. Your lady friend isn't exactly your standard Vulcan after all." Spock could imagine his friend shuffling awkwardly after that much softness in one go, the doctor did tend towards a more brusque manner in general. His father raised an eyebrow as he listened, it was illogical to pretend he couldn't hear. He would need an explanation of the reason for the disagreement. Spock had not been intending to share that with him since it would likely cause unnecessary guilt over what was intended to be helpful, and still might prove to be.
"What, precisely, is your professional recommendation doctor?" Spock asked drily. He appreciated the intention to help but wasn't entirely sure what doctor McCoy thought he would know about the situation.
"Well I was married, and while it might not have ended as amicably as I would have liked, I did learn some things during that time." The doctor responded with a hint of reproach. "Look, you do what you want to do, but if I were you I'd be checking out the candle shop or the incense shop or whatever it is Vulcan's like. Not as big as jewellery but something. But hey what do I know?" There was a pause, Spock regretted being quite so abrasive with the doctor. His father's raised eyebrow was likewise accusatory.
"My apologies doctor, I appreciate the intent of your advice." Spock managed to say, his awkwardness hidden behind formality. "I will take it into consideration."
"Well then... I guess I'll see you back on the ship." The comm went silent.
"It is good that you have friends who care about you on board the ship." Sarek said levelly. "Now about this argument?"
It was later, after they had planted some vegetables in Sarek's plot and visited a small shop of meditation supplies, making some purchases for himself as well as a small gift, when Spock received another call from the Enterprise.
"Lieutenant Uhura, is everything well?" Spock asked, a little less concerned than he had been with the doctor, Uhura was after all in charge of keeping him informed of matters should things change, such as their orders and a need to report somewhere or a nearby scientific phenomenon or distress call.
"Everything is fine Spock. I was wondering if you had any recommendations about Vulcan karaoke songs?" That was an unusual question, but her explanation continued. "The Captain has asked me to organise a little celebration this evening for T'Leiarel joining the crew, since it seems like that's happening, and she said she liked karaoke, but pretty much everything available in the database is from Earth, aside from a few Klingon songs that were apparently included in the recent cultural exchange with them... since the whole getting to the bottom of the attack on their homeworld. I know there might not be many records, but I thought I would ask if there was anything in particular? It's supposed to be a surprise or I'd ask T'Leiarel directly." It seemed like the good kind of surprise, and Uhura was generally rather adept at judging these things...
"Vulcans do not have a tradition of karaoke. There is the use of pre-recorded music, and there is live performance, the combination is a very Terran tradition. I suppose I could accompany a song or two on my harp but I would not be confident with a wide variety. I will see if I can provide a list of the songs I am able to consistently play to an acceptable level if that is of any help. I think it likely that anyone intending to perform will select Earth songs however." Spock responded thoughtfully.
"Hmmm... you are probably right, but I'll add the songs to the padd with the other suggestions and see if people are tempted, as long as I can put the lyrics on the screen. Perhaps we should make it more of a general performance evening? With people being encouraged to showcase their talents... though that could be tricky to organise at short notice." Nyota replied.
"I am sure whatever you organise will be a most enjoyable evening." Spock stated encouragingly. Nyota had always been very skilled at whatever she put her mind to, and she had a skill with people that went beyond the exchange of words. He was confident she would manage things smoothly, but there was one concern. "Has T'Leiarel actually agreed to remaining on the crew? I fear it could be rather awkward and upsetting should the entertainment focus on welcoming her aboard when she in fact intends to leave. It was made... somewhat clear that she does not approve of such assumptions or expectations being placed on her."
"Noted. I think the Captain is optimistic, Doctor McCoy seemed positive about the matter too when he visited the bridge earlier, but no final decision as yet." Spock looked down, he had hoped it might have meant she had said something, but they were still good signs. "I'll try and make sure it's just planned as a non-specific celebration, and then we can adapt depending on whether it's announcing she's joining the crew or just Kirk and his 'any excuse for a party' morale boosting policy celebrating her not getting married."
"That sounds like a sensible compromise. Thank you Nyota." Spock responded. Then he thought of something. "I also wanted to express my appreciation for your consideration and advice in general, you have been very understanding and supportive in what has been a perplexing situation."
It was almost time for him to return to the ship when he had the third call. This time from the Captain.
"Is there some issue with my expected transport? I am due to leave for the shuttle pad in approximately ten minutes." Spock asked.
"Um... no..." Spock noticed his father giving him a raised eyebrow of amusement at all these calls. The Captain sounded awkward and Spock was worried that this would be another call about his relationship.
"Is this a matter that can wait until we can speak in person?" He asked.
"Well... yes... but at the same time... maybe not? Look, I've just finished in the bridge, and T'Leiarel has finished in sick bay, not that it's been a particularly busy shift because we're orbiting New Vulcan and nothing's exploding or anything, but anyway..." Spock waited for the captain to get to his point, humans did have a habit of using an illogical amount of dithering before doing so when they were uncomfortable with the topic. "Look, the thing is, T'Leiarel offered to show me some moving meditation things for emotional rebalancing and I just... I thought I should let you know and see if that's okay with you and everything?"
"T'Leiarel is her own person, as was made very clear, I am sure you recall. Neither of you need my permission." Spock responded carefully. He wasn't sure he was entirely comfortable with his flirtatious friend spending large amounts of time getting physically close with his bondmate, but he didn't exactly have reason to object, and the gym was hardly a private location. He knew the objection was emotional and not logical, and based in insecurity rather than genuine expectation of inappropriate behaviours.
"I know, but you're my friend, and even if I don't need permission, I want to know if it's something that upsets you, even if officially you don't GET upset by things..." It was considerate. Spock took a moment to think. The truth was he had no objection other than jealousy, a desire to share an activity with her himself, he did want his friend and his bondmate to get along, as long as he could find something he could share with her himself, which was more of a motivation to find something than to deny others. "Spock?"
"I feel it would be good for you to learn simple methods of self control. There have been many times when your emotions have been disturbingly visible and caused trouble for the ship." Spock said wryly. There had also been times his emotions had steered them out of trouble. Kirk would definitely not benefit from the more rigid and stationary meditations practiced by Vulcans over the age of eleven or so, but emotional balancing techniques would only bolster his ability to distance himself from the guilt he suffered at not being able to save everyone, when saving everyone was impossible, without impeding his emotion based reactions during emergency situations. Despite the dry tone Kirk picked up on the minor teasing to his words.
"Gee... thanks Spock. I knew you'd see the logic in me learning new things..." He responded with a hefty dose of sarcasm.
Once he had ended the communication his father touched him gently on the shoulder.
"Patience and acceptance are difficult lessons." Sarek said gently. "You already have much more of both than I had at your age. I am proud of you. Do not forget that. T'Leiarel is a very fortunate young woman to have stirred such interest in you, and it will be very much her loss should she refuse it. The only thing that could change that good fortune on her part is complacency, and I have never yet see you fail to exert yourself for something you truly care about. I can only hope she is contemplating your happiness as seriously as you are hers, and that your life together is as filled with love and joy as mine was with your mother."
Spock nodded solemnly. It was testament to the depth of his sincerity that Sarek would say such things aloud, such discussion of emotion. He took his fathers words very seriously indeed.