"Why do not you show me LA?"

I slowly open my eyes and take a deep breath, the smell of salty Pacific seawater amid the pier woods makes me want to float over the surface of the warm sea. Yes, Rachel, I'm finally at the Santa Monica pier sitting at one end, I've just driven a thousand miles in that old can.

All my friends tell me I should move on
I'm lying in the ocean, singing your song
Ah, that's how you sing it
Loving you forever, can't be wrong
Even though you're not here, won't move on
Ah, that's how we play it

A soft, warm breeze hits my face, it reminds me a little of his breathing.

How this place suits you, so cheerful and warm, is exactly as you described it, sixty degrees at night and the moon shining in the waves, ahh ... yes ... today the moon is incredible ... you would love it. .. a super moon shines on the black waves of the sea, you can imagine ... making this place look like a gloomy paradise.

The pier is exactly as you described it, the playful air that makes us momentarily forget the worries and pain, the sea, the joyful laugh of the children in the background, the beach, the dynamism of the people circulating here and there, the lights lighting up slowly.

Yes, exactly as you described me, but so different from what I thought I would feel when I saw this place ...

I agree to go to a place where the only noise is wind and sea, the sea seems so inviting, shining like a black diamond, I want to feel its waters.

I take off my shoes as I walk on the sand, put my feet in it, so soft and warm.

I go toward the darkness of the sea, I want to lie in it.

And there's no remedy for memory your face
Is like a melody, it won't leave my head
Your soul is hunting me and telling me
That everything is fine
But I wish I was dead

The water is comforting, my limbs then numbed by the heat. The horizon is infinite, it makes me imagine that everything is possible, so I'd better make a request, is not it.

You know what I want now, Rachel, I wish you had abandoned me and I could find you walking on this beach now, and you would say hello ... bland to me, and make up an excuse as to why you abandoned me, and I I'd be a bitch, but as an idiot I'd forgive you easily, and we'd hug again, I'd feel her irritating scent of jasmine.

I would see his damn smug smile and would not take my fucking eyes out of his hazel eyes anymore, would see his golden blond hair flow like a feather quietly in the wind.

Every time I close my eyes
It's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side
Every time I close my eyes
It's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side

Do you know how much I need you, Rach?

After a while I get out of the water and lie on the sand.

Max is in the car sleeping, since we left Arcadia Bay she did not say a meaningful word to me, Max is the only person who keeps me here now, my mother is gone too ... when Max saved me ... I I love it but I still have this feeling in my chest that something is missing and it seems like I have a huge hole in my heart's place.

Maybe I'm a selfish motherfucker at the thought of it, but I kind of wish she'd simply sacrifice me, so that at least I could be with you, no matter where you are, would you be waiting for me on the other side?

All my friends ask me why I stay strong
Tell 'em when you find true love it lives on
Ah, that's why I stay here

You promised me so many times that I would always be here, I also made you so many promises. There were so many things we wanted to do together, we made so many plans for our future. Now I can only remember the words I told you after the play.

"Rachel ... stop. If you do not mean it, it's just going to make me feel like shit that this life you're describing is not going to happen. "

Max and I will leave for Seattle after we have rested, probably her parents must be freaking out, but I saw that she sent messages to them. She did not mind when I told her to drive to California to see the Santa Monica pier.

I'm going to try to start a new life there in Seattle.

And there's no remedy for memory your face
Like a melody, it won't lift my head
Your soul is hunting me and telling me
That everything is fine
But I wish I was dead

I know my life will never be the same without you in it. You know there's no one who compares to you. I do not know when I'm going to get over this numb feeling that you're constantly reminding me that you're not here anymore.

Every time I close my eyes
It's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side
Every time I close my eyes
It's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
But there's no you, except in my dreams tonight

I'm trying my best not to cry now because I know you'll never come back and I'll just see your face in old photographs and in my dreams.

Oh oh oh, ha ha ha
I don't wanna wake up from this tonight
Oh oh oh, ha ha ha
I don't wanna wake up from this tonight

Anyway, the tiredness conquers me and I close more eyes and I see you in the dark, you look as beautiful as the last day I saw you alive, makes me want to never wake up again. I ask when and why things went wrong? You do not answer me, I simply beg you.

Let me stay here with you.

There's no relief, I see you in my sleep
And everybody's rushing me, but I can feel you touching me
There's no release, I feel you in my dreams
Telling me I'm fine

When I wake up, I'll lose you again.

Every time I close my eyes
It's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side
Every time I close my eyes
It's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you

But that there's no you, except in my dreams tonight
Oh oh oh, ha ha ha
I don't wanna wake up from this tonight
Oh oh oh, ha ha ha
I don't wanna wake up from this tonight