Disclaimer: theres a two liter tub of ice cream in the freezer and i am Tempted

Author's notes: Disastrously unorganised snippets of Tsuna and his daily life that will never make it into fics anyway. Will be marked as completed, but I might add something when I feel like it.

One

Sometimes Tsuna feels like he's dealing with children. Heavily armed, bloodthirsty children, that is. And with Hibari and Mukuro in his office, it goes something like this –

"Okay. Normally I wouldn't interfere, but it is my house you were destroying. So why were you two fighting this time?"

"He pushed me down the fucking stairs!"

"Hibari-san, did you push Mukuro down the fucking stairs?"

"I don't answer to you," Hibari scoffs.

Tsuna doesn't even blink. "Humour me."

"Fine. I did not push him down the fucking stairs. But I did throw a vase at his head while he just happened to be on the fucking stairs."

"Why did you throw a vase at his head while he was on the fucking stairs?"

"He annoyed me."

"You're a nasty little bird," Mukuro growls and summons his trident, but Hibari stays unimpressed.

"And what's that fork of yours supposed to do?"

"It's a trident."

"Is there a difference?"

Mukuro attacks Hibari who nonchalantly blocks the attack and tries to knock the trident out of his hands.

Tsuna smoothly ducks as a tonfa flies towards his head and goes right through his chair and out the window, shattering the bulletproof glass.

As hell breaks loose in his office, he hides under his desk. Feeling around in the soft darkness, he pulls open the secret drawer he keeps his aspirin in. (Hayato doesn't need to know how much he actually takes them.) Thinks for a moment, closes the drawer, and pulls open another one where he keeps his whiskey. (Hayato definitely doesn't need to know about that.)

Something else shatters in his office. He really hopes it's not the porcelain vase collection from the 16th century that Ninth so loved.

He understands Xanxus more and more with each passing day.

Two

"Hey, Reborn? Not that I want to question your teaching methods – though I do, constantly," Tsuna takes a deep breath, "Shouldn't you have started from teaching me all this etiquette stuff? I mean, instead of shooting me with a Dying Will bullet and forcing me to fight and embarrass myself and protect my friends, couldn't you have started from the easier, er, non-violent stuff, like Italian and how to use— whatever this thing is called again."

"A tie bar, Dame-Tsuna. Forget it again and I'll shoot you with a real bullet."

"Yeah, a tie bar. What I mean is that this stuff actually kind of makes sense and you're just trying to teach me how not to make a fool out of myself in a polite company right now. I'm just wondering if it wouldn't have been easier to let me have a vague understanding what the job entails first and then teach me how to fight?"

"There's no point in grooming a gentleman who can't survive."

Tsuna tilts his head. "I don't understand?"

"That's why they call you Dame-Tsuna." Reborn sighs. "Would you have survived Mukuro by knowing how to use a tie bar? Or defeated Xanxus with a few Italian compliments?"

"I… guess not?"

"Would you survive a Mukuro-like incident while knowing what a tie bar is now?"

It takes a few seconds before Tsuna's face lights up with understanding. "Oh. That actually makes sense." He cringes. "Though, I will never repeat any of those Italian expressions you're forcing into my head to Xanxus."

"Why not? The result would be hilarious."

"I would die a slow and painful death."

"Yes. That would be the hilarious part."

"And this would be the part where I question your teaching methods."

Three

"This is a disaster," Chrome says quietly as she appears next to Tsuna who is in the middle of pulling at his hair and screeching like a pterodactyl at the burning remnants of their last hideout.

"Chrooome," Tsuna sobs miserably. "You're the only sane person in the entire Vongola. May I hug you just once? For this incredible act of kindness and bravery?"

Chrome considers it. She's wearing a new jacket and Tsuna's face is covered with tears and snot, but he does look pitiful. She sighs heavily.

"Very well, Boss. Just this once."

Tsuna immediately wraps his arms around her shoulders and buries his face into her shoulder and makes a sound like… not like a pterodactyl anymore. Maybe like an offended kitten? She pats his back awkwardly, but all that does is make him sob harder. She holds back a cringe when she feels her shoulder growing wet.

"I hate my job," he cries. "I wanna move to the mountains and live as a hermit for the rest of my life. Is that too much to ask for?"

"I'm afraid it is, Boss."

Tsuna cries even harder.

Four

"Congratulations, Dame-Tsuna," Reborn says casually as he strolls into Tsuna's office.

"What did I do?"

"Nothing this time, actually."

"Okay… what did you do?"

"Again, nothing that you should know about. But as of today, the price for your head is officially high enough that no one can pay it, so you've been removed from the international hit list."

"I had no idea there was an international hit list. But basically, that means… no more assassins?"

"That means no more hired assassins. No one who does their job for the money will be coming after you."

"That's… a good thing? Right?"

"Of course it is. It means that now that you're done with the wussies, you can start dealing with the nasty folks. You know, the ones who do hits for the thrill of it. The enthusiasts and the psychopaths. The ones who have chaos flowing in their veins and who wear mayhem proudly on their sleeves."

Tsuna shudders. "R-Reborn?"

Reborn smiles.

-x-

Gokudera walks in the hallway. He pulls against the wall when he hears it and smartly closes his eyes.

"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

He only opens his eyes once the wind has passed and looks after the blurring image of Tenth, Reborn-san hot on his heels.

"Huh. Doppler effect. Tenth is working hard. Gotta step up my game," he mutters and continues on.

The part where i talk about my life: I just wanted to post something to show people that I AM ALIVE! On an entirely different continent than I was the last time I posted anything and having an insane schedule at work, but mostly alive. (Who wants to meet up in Toronto? I'll be in Canada for a year and then it's back to Europe for me.) So basically, everything in this thing is just random wips from my khr wip doc. I've got more of these if you like them so please review!