Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or any of its associated characters!

Summary: COMPLETE. Naruto and Sasuke met months ago—online. Naruto's stupid and funny and Sasuke just can't stop talking to him... A short fic for a tumblr prompt! SNS, Modern AU, oneshot.

A/N: Posted on ao3 a little a while ago - here you go!

One of the 3 fics I wrote for the "Things you said at 1 AM" prompt on tumblr. I just couldn't pick one! It's short and cute - I hope you enjoy!

Online

Sasuke sighed, flipping to the next page. He couldn't say he'd really read the last one, but everything felt so familiar at this point that—

'You know you left your icon on visible, right? I can seeee youuuuu'

Sasuke let his pen fall along the spine of his book and rested his chin in the palm of his hand. Really, the only person that he talked to through this thing was Naruto, and he was perfectly capable of ignoring everyone else. Still, he flicked the icon to 'invisible' and fought a smile as Naruto immediately started typing again—

'Saw that too, dickhead.'

Sasuke snorted.

'Moron.'

'There he is!'

And then, a moment later—

'Knew you were up. Go to sleep!'

Sasuke raised an eyebrow as he typed a quick reply.

'You're one to talk.'

He tapped his fingers pen along the edge of his textbook. He had been spacing out for the better part of the last hour, really, but he needed to—

'Ass! I only just got back from class. What time is it there?"

He let out a breath.

'1:34.'

A pause.

'Don't you have a test tomorrow?'

Not that he needed the reminder, but—

'A midterm exam, yes. Thanks for that.'

At 8:30 in the morning. Every second he was here was a second of losing sleep and a second of not studying—

'I wasn't trying to be a dick! You know I forget stuff!'

Sasuke snorted, but turned back to his textbook. Honestly, he could barely focus on the thing, but if he wasn't going to sleep...

'C'monnnn asshole! '

Sasuke's smile widened.

'Sasuke! '

'I'm studying, moron.'

Sasuke saw, several times, Naruto start and stop writing again.

'Don't think too hard, now.'

'I was trying to be nice! Fuck you! '

Sasuke fought a smile, vaguely glancing back at his notes again. He had gotten the idea that he could manage another full read-through tonight, but he was barely halfway and everything felt so intensely familiar that he felt like he could barely stand to skim the words—

'I'm not bothering you, am I?'

'You're not.' He wouldn't have responded to Naruto if he had been. But he had never really felt...bothered by Naruto. That wasn't the right way to put it. Vaguely annoyed, sure, after the first few months they had started messaging back and forth, but that feeling had gone both ways. And he took great satisfaction in annoying Naruto, now—although, he supposed, maybe annoying wasn't quite the right word either...

'Can't sleep, huh?'

He sighed. No, he couldn't. He never could before a test. He scowled back at the papers beside him.

'I'm not tired.' It wasn't entirely true, but he could probably trust Naruto to read between the lines. It was only another moment before he received the reply.

'Hang on a sec, OK?'

'Sure.'

He tapped his fingers along the desk, debating calling it a night. Maybe he ought to try and lie down again, but all he had accomplished two hours ago was rolling around and considering every single little detail he didn't fucking know yet—

'Hey I'm back! You have the app, right?'

Sasuke sat up straighter.

'For this? On my phone?'

Sasuke's smile slowly widened as he watched Naruto start and stop typing over and over again.

'Yeah.'

A full minute—for that reply. Sasuke hid his smile behind his hand.

'I have it. Why?'

This one took Naruto a full five minutes.

'Okay, I know this might be kind of weird so don't feel pressured to say yes or anything, but can I call you? Like through the app?'

And then, not a moment later—

'You can say no!'

He was way too tired to bother fighting the smile anymore.

'You've bombarded me with messages nearly every night for the past eight months, but the sound of your voice is going to scare me away?'

'Asshole!'

Sasuke snorted, but Naruto was already sending another reply—

'Does that mean yes?'

'Go ahead.'

It took longer than he would have liked. Sasuke held his phone in his hand and he checked (three times) to make sure the volume was up—he had been talking to Naruto for months but this would be the first time that they would—

The phone rang.

Sasuke picked it up without another thought.

"Moron."

It was only another moment before he heard the soft, unmistakable laugh—

"Hey, asshole." Naruto's voice was breathless, and something like surprised , although Sasuke couldn't imagine why. Still, he found himself smiling, ducking his head at the sound—

"Hi," he said, feeling the urge to stand up as if suddenly filled with some sort of restless energy—and Naruto laughed again, then, as if just hearing Sasuke's voice made the happiness bubble up out of him—

"You sound different than I expected." Naruto laughed alongside his voice, sounding breathless and exhilarated and—

"What did you expect me to sound like?"

"I don't know! Not like...not like—whatever."

Sasuke felt his smile widen. "I see you're just as eloquent in person."

"Shut up, dickhead! You're just as much of an asshole ... "

His voice trailed off mid-sentence, just as Sasuke's laugh faded.

"What?"

"I—wh—uh, nothing."

Sasuke tapped his fingers along his desk and didn't reply. Whenever Sasuke didn't reply, in chat, Naruto would only barely take a moment before he said something else, and Sasuke could only assume that this—

"Well—I just—I've never heard you laugh before." There was another pause. "It's, um—you have a nice laugh."

Sasuke, for some inexplicable reason, ducked his head. It was if Naruto was in front of him, and would see the way his face had grown red—

"I'm sorry if that's weird, I just—"

"No," Sasuke cut him off. "No, it's—fine." He just felt warm. Hot. Burning, to some extent—

"Oh," Naruto let out a soft breath, "good. Sorry."

"This conversation has been about five secon—"

"Fuck off, asshole! I just—I'm just—I'm nervous, okay?"

"Are you?" There was nothing subtle in Naruto's voice, and yet Sasuke still wanted to know— "Why?"

"What do you mean why? It's the first time we've actually talked! For all I know you could be a crazy axe murderer or like—like a—"

"I could still be that."

"Wow," Naruto said. "Way to put me at ease."

"You could be a crazy axe murderer, too." Sasuke rolled his eyes, pacing behind his couch.

Naruto laughed.

"Then here we are," Naruto said. "Two crazy axe murderers on the phone at one in the morning. How're you holding up?"

Sasuke made a noise of discontent, and scowled back at his books. He was exhausted but he couldn't sleep and he knew everything but he didn't know anything and he — oh...Naruto was laughing again…

"Yeah, I figured." Sasuke was honestly starting to wonder the if the guy ever talked without laughing alongside his words. "Did you see that video I sent you?"

"Of the dog? I did." He paused for a moment. "Is that why you called?"

"No. I called 'cause you're dumb and stressing yourself out and you obviously need somebody to distract you and that's where I thrive, dickhead. Check your messages."

"Is it another video?" Sasuke muttered, making his way back to his desk. That warm feeling had spread from his cheeks to the tips of his fingers, and he felt it spark in them with every tap of the keys —

"Yeah; I'm in it though. You have it? I have more, hang on—"

And there he was.

Naruto, in all his sunkissed, blonde-haired, blue-eyed glory, laughing that laugh that Sasuke hadn't stopped hearing since he had picked up the phone, and Sasuke was going to have to restart the video because he hadn't caught a single thing beyond Naruto's fucking face , ugh—

"He's so dumb, I love it," came Naruto's voice, and it was only then that Sasuke managed to register the puppy hanging from his sleeve, refusing to let go (although, from the way Naruto was nearly in tears, he really didn't seem to be putting much effort into freeing himself)— "Hang on, I've got another one. It's a bit more recent...gimmie a sec..."

It wasn't as if it was the first time he had seen Naruto. They had seen each other plenty of times by now, but Sasuke had just...something about Naruto, just—

A small ding! on his computer registered the message Naruto sent. He clicked on the video, and immediately paused.

"What happened to your eye?" It was... bruised and Sasuke zoomed in just to see—

"I fell on a fence post. Did you see—"

"No, stop. You did what ?"

"Oh my god, I tripped, okay? I—"

"You tripped and gave yourself a black eye?"

"It was dark and I wasn't paying attention and—"

"How do you even function on a daily basis? Didn't you break your ankle—" Barely two weeks ago! Naruto had—

"I twisted it! It was fine! I heal super fast—"

"Well with the amount you apparently injure yourself, I'd certainly hope so," Sasuke muttered, scanning over the injury again. It was just underneath his eye...

"Oh my god, I don't—"

"Forget the dog, Kiba should have you on a leash."

"Oh my god! You are—I'm not that bad!"

"Stay uninjured for a month and prove it to me."

"Fine, I will! Asshole."

Sasuke scanned the blonde's image again.

"I want a daily video to prove it."

"You just wanna see my pretty face every day."

Well.

"Yes, bruised flesh really does it for me."

"Fucking—don't say flesh!"

Sasuke smirked.

"Flesh."

"Oh my god. And I won't be bruised. I'll be fine. My eye is like back to normal now anyway."

"When was this video taken?"

"...Yesterday. Stop—don't laugh at me!" Naruto protested, but he'd started laughing too, and Sasuke ducked his head and clapped a hand over his mouth to try and stifle it, but god Naruto was just so—

"You're the worst. Fine, I'm half a raccoon right now. Happy?"

Sasuke's hand moved up to rub at his eyes.

"So very much."

"Dick. It does look like it's getting better through…" Naruto's voice trailed off for a moment. "Ow, crap. No, still hurts. I—stop laughing! Hey!"

Sasuke moved the speaker away from his mouth.

"Ugh, I'm just trying to be optimistic over here. I look so dumb."

"Fitting."

"Okay, rude. If you keep being mean to me, I'm gonna—"

"I'm always mean," Sasuke said, letting his head roll back along the back of the chair. "You looked fine in the video."

"Uh-huh, sure."

"You did."

"Ugh, you can't even—it was the first thing you said ." Naruto's voice dissolved into some sort of mumble. "Just 'cause you're hot in every fucking photo—"

"Just because I'm what now?"

"Don't play the humble card with me now, dickhead. You're the one who's always complaining about how everybody and their mom hits on you— "

"Thanks for that," Sasuke deadpanned. "And you know that that implies a lot more now that I know you're bisexual."

"Shut up, asshole—I can call somebody hot without wanting their dick in my ass." Naruto let out a breath. "Jeez."

Sasuke's tongue darted out against his lips.

"Graphic."

Naruto snorted. "I never claimed to have a filter. You should know better by now."

"I should," Sasuke acknowledged, suddenly wide awake. He stood, tracing his hand along the side of the chair.

He heard Naruto let out a breath, on the other side of the phone. He was likely still stuck on the black eye, but Sasuke's mind had remained firmly glued to something else—

"Is that your...usual preference?"

There was a long pause. Sasuke walked to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water.

"Like—uh, sex?"

"Yes."

"I, um," Naruto let out a breath, "I don't really have one, actually. I'm pretty...open with that sort of stuff. It depends on the person, y'know."

Sasuke drank the entire cup.

"I see," he said softly, the words playing through his head. He tapped his fingers along the cup, along the countertop—

"Um, I mean—"

"How so?"

"How so what?"

"How does it change? Depending on the person?" Sasuke leaned over the countertop.

"Um, well, y'know," he heard something shift, "it's like—it depends on their preference. Some people like to take charge in a specific way or they don't like to and you can do that either way but it's all about learning what everybody likes...it's the same as sex with anyone. It's just preferences."

Sasuke considered the thought. Naruto didn't say a word.

"I've never had sex," Sasuke offered after a moment.

"...What—really?" A pause. "Oh—are you ace? Or—"

"No." He shifted uncomfortably. It wasn't as if he hadn't considered it, after a while, but— "No, I've just never felt...connected enough to someone to want to...try that."

It wasn't the whole truth. (Never was a strong word, and getting weaker by the day.)

"...Oh." Another shift. "Yeah, I get that. I've kinda...stopped dating or hooking up or whatever 'cause I just...y'know," a sigh, "I told myself I wouldn't date anyone until I really felt a connection. Like I really, really liked someone. But," he laughed, "you'd think I'd have better chances finding somebody being bi. Maybe my luck just sucks."

"You haven't connected with anyone?"

"No—I mean, well, like—I've connected with you, obviously. Don't read into it, dickhead, you're just—nice to talk to. Whatever. But—"

"I'm nice to talk to and I'm hot," Sasuke bit down on his smile, "and you've connected with me. What are your other criteria, Naruto?"

There was a long, long pause. Naruto had given several rather large hints he was interested, but he had been peppering them with saying he wasn't, so—

"Careful, Sasuke," Naruto said, voice sounding something like breathless (and Sasuke jolted, because it was the first time he had ever heard his name in Naruto's voice). "I might not take that kind of thing as a joke."

Sasuke shifted.

"I realize that."

"...You're not drunk, are you?"

"What? No."

"High?"

"No!"

"Half-asleep?"

"If I could manage that, I would be fully asleep."

"Are you...Sas—are you genuinely flirting with me?"

"Are you ?"

A pause.

"I...yeah. Yeah—Sasuke, fuck, I didn't think I stood a chance. I was just happy to talk to you; are you serious?"

Sasuke let out a breath—some mix of a laugh—somehow feeling like it was impossible to stay still—

"'Cause I like—I really like you. Like I—I hate that you're so far away so much—"

Sasuke bit his lip.

"—'cause it doesn't feel like it at all and it drives me crazy—and—and I know we haven't even known each other that long and you could still be a crazy axe murderer—"

He ducked his head to hide the smile.

"—but I've still—I've still, like, told you way more about myself then I've told other people and you just kinda—like it feels like you just kinda get me, which I know sounds weird and stupid but that's what it feels like—"

He twisted back up, feeling the need to pace—somewhere, anywhere—

"—and the fact that you're hot as fuck is really just a bonus 'cause I was already crushing on you before I even saw your face—"

He solved the problem by tossing himself on the bed and throwing the covers over himself.

"—and—okay, Sasuke, I really need you to interrupt me or something 'cause you've been quiet for super long and I never shut the fuck up—"

"I like it."

It was a whisper, halfway muffled by the blankets, stretched by his smile—

"You—what'd you say?"

"You never shut the fuck up." Sasuke laughed, running the base of his palm up his face. "I like that about you."

The line went silent.

Sasuke rolled onto his side.

"...Did I make you shut up?"

"No! No—I'm—I—I mean, I'm—um—"

"Stuttering over yourself."

"Shut up! It's your fault, asshole! How am I supposed to think straight when you're being all—ugh!" He didn't finish the thought, but Sasuke had the sudden mental image of Naruto wildly waving a hand, as if gesturing to all of Sasuke—

"Fucking hell, I love your laugh."

Sasuke's hand was immediately on his face again.

"You're so stupid..."

Naruto's loud, exhilarated laugh echoed through the phone. "Shut up, I know. You dickhead."

"Well you're into that, apparently."

"Apparently," Naruto laughed, again, and Sasuke closed his eyes and smiled. "I wish you were closer. I'm kinda dying to meet you."

"Crazy axe murderer, Naruto."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." He heard something shift on Naruto's end. "I'm serious though."

Sasuke held in a breath.

"Well, in theory," he started, swallowing against the nerves, "if I was...dating someone," and Naruto made a noise, then—some panicked, breathless sound, "I would be willing to...visit them."

There was a long pause.

"Naru—"

"Don't you fucking tease me with this, Sasuke. You're saying you want to go out?"

"Well, I—we should probably meet, first—and long distance isn't ideal, but—"

"Are you kidding me? I've been doing a long distance stupid ass crush—a long distance actual fucking relationship's gonna be a breeze."

And Sasuke laughed, again, then, because he really, honestly, genuinely hadn't realized—

"It'd probably be smart to meet though."

Sasuke snorted.

"You already said you're dying to meet me," he pointed out. "You don't have to pretend that—"

"Kinda dying! I said kinda! That's the—"

"Relax, moron." Sasuke rolled, twisting the sheets further around himself. "I want to meet you too."

Naruto went silent again, and Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Is it necessary for you to have a heart attack every time I talk? You—"

"I'm not—oh my god, you dickhead, I'm just surprised, okay? And, to be honest, you're gonna have to tell me all of this again tomorrow because I'm pretty convinced I'm dreaming right now, and there's no way that I'm gonna wake up tomorrow and think—"

"I'll call you after my exam." He paused for a moment. "Is that too early?"

"Fuck no," Naruto laughed, "you can call me anytime. You know my sleep schedule's fucked anyway."

Sasuke ducked his head, but all it did was twist his face further into the pillows—

"Are you gonna go to bed now?"

"I—" Sasuke let out a breath. There was really nothing he wanted to do less, but—

"It's late as hell, Sasuke. You should get some rest."

Sasuke frowned, conceding the point, and yet still not willing to—

"But—um, you'll call me tomorrow, right?"

Sasuke smiled.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'll call you."

"Okay," Naruto said, and it shook with the sound of his breath, "I can't wait. G'night, Sasuke."

"Good night, Naruto."

They hung up at the same time.

(Sasuke fell asleep with his phone on his chest and a smile on his face.)

A/N: I've been so busy with everything else in life, it's really nice to have some time to devote to fic again. I really hope you like this one!

It won't be continued; this is a standalone fic :)

Till next time,

- Kinomi