I do not own TVD or TO.

I'm not planning on this story being super long, but the idea came to me last night before I went to bed so I thought I'd type it up.

She yanked the wood from her thigh and allowed herself approximately thirty seconds to heal before flashing into the kitchen. An inhuman shriek escaped her lips, and echoed off the stainless steel appliances; her baby brother was sprawled on the floor at the feet of Kol.

She didn't stop to think before rushing him. It was likely the element of surprise that allowed her to knock him flat on his back; what new vampire in their right mind would attack an Original?

Elena wasn't in her right mind though. She could think of nothing but the prone body of her baby brother and taking vengeance for his demise.

Kol allowed her to get a couple of blows in before flipping her over. His hands grasped her wrists and pinned them above her head. He slotted his knee between her legs and used his body to trap her against the cold tile of the kitchen.

"You can continue to struggle, darling," his breath fanned across her cheek, "or we could have a civilized conversation."

"You just killed my brother," Elena spat. Her flesh tingled under his touch.

"Do you take me for a fool, love?" He scoffed. "I've no intention of suffering the hunter's curse." He shifted and pinned her leg when she moved to bring up her knee; "listen, Elena."

She struggled against his much stronger grip before following his instructions. Focusing her senses she picked up the dripping water from the tap, the gentle humming of the fridge, and the steady beating of three hearts: two vampires and one human.

"I did not kill him," Kol met her confused gaze, "and I e no intention of killing him… at least not myself. He did try to kill me and I can't allow that to go unpunished."

"Leave him alone, Kol," Elena inhaled a shaky breath, "it wasn't his idea."

"So you're the mastermind behind this plot," his eyes flickered over her pale face. "Tell me darling is the cure really worth it? Do you even know how many vampires would have died if your brother had succeeded?"

"No," Elena shook her head.

"No you don't know, or no it is not worth it?" A line appeared between his brows; he had not been expecting her to see her own insanity.

"Both," Elena exhaled. The fight went out of her limbs as she succumbed to her fate. "If you're going to kill me just do it."

"I'm not going to kill you, Elena," he sighed. "I want to know what you were thinking. What led you to this bloody decision?"

Her insides trembled as her head swam with confusion. Damon had been the one to bring up the cure; he had suggested that killing an Original would be the fastest way to complete Jeremy's tattoo, and the easiest Original to kill would be the one in possession of the stake. Finding the cure would be the fastest way to fix her.

She told all of this to Kol in a rush. If he hadn't been an Original vampire he likely wouldn't have understood a single word that escaped her lips, but with his enhanced hearing he caught it all.

"Fix you," he gave her a disbelieving look. "Darling, aside from your clearly poor taste in men there is nothing wrong with you."

He could see it in her glistening eyes; she hadn't wanted to do it.

"Yes there is," she blinked back her tears. "The hunter was right: I'm a monster."

Kol sighed and made a mental note to review his life choices later because surely he should have been torturing her for the failed murder plot before ripping out her heart. Instead he was sitting back up and rubbing her shoulder gently.

"You are not a monster, Elena," he tipped up her chin to meet her dark eyes, "and you definitely shouldn't listen to anything the hallucinations might have told you."

"Everyone around me dies, Kol," she shook her head sadly, "and it's always my fault. I was going to kill you tonight."

"Technically your brother was going to do it," he looked at the unconscious body of Jeremy Gilbert.

"Because I told him to."

"And who told you?" Kol cocked an eyebrow.

"Damon," she frowned, "but what does that have to do with anything?"

Kol nodded slowly and turned to stare at a family photo on the fridge. It depicted a happy group all crowded together in the frame; he wondered where her carefree smile had gone.

"Would I be correct in assuming it was Damon Salvatore's blood that turned you?" He watched her nod from the corner of his eye and fingered the stake tucked safely in his pocket. "How familiar are you with sire bonds Elena? Because I don't believe you're a killer."

Elena sat on her sofa with her knees curled beneath her and watched the fire crackle and pop in the hearth. Kol had left the house shortly before Jeremy had woken up, and he had made sure to take the stake with him.

"Where is he?" Jeremy looked around frantically as if expecting the Original to pop up from behind the counter and finish what he had started.

"Gone," Elena hugged her knees to her chest. Her gaze was focused on the smooth tile of the floor.

"Gone to compel somebody to kill me?" Jeremy got to his feet and pulled a bottle of water from the fridge. "What's the plan now?" He paused mid-sip and turned to stare at his sister. "He left you alive."

Elena moved her head to nod but ended up shaking it halfway through so it appeared that she was bobbing from side to side, moving in circles; not unlike her scattered thoughts.

"Elena," Jeremy knelt beside her on the floor, "what do you want to do?"

What did she want to do? She felt confident that if Kol had not taken the stake she would have formulated another plan, but was that what she wanted? The thought of taking his life made her feel physically ill; it always had, but she had pushed through that feeling and swallowed her rising bile.

Was it what she wanted, or was it what Damon had suggested?

"She needs blood: from the vein."

She hadn't been able to keep any form of blood down. When she had turned she had wanted to stick to a vegetarian diet in order to avoid hurting humans, but everything she tried to drink kept coming back up: animal blood, vampire blood, and blood bags.

"If I'm not worried you shouldn't be worried."

She had been worried sick about Jeremy's whereabouts during the Miss Mystic Falls pageant, but Damon had put her at ease. He had told her to let it go and she had; not even Caroline had been able to calm her down.

"Then you need to be smart. He doesn't know you're a vampire; you get as close as you can and kill him."

For as long as she could remember she had always held life in the highest of regards. She wasn't a killer. She had never been capable of seeing a true reason why anyone should have their life stolen away from them. She had never contemplated murder and yet she had done it. She had killed the hunter after Damon had told her to; it had made perfect sense at the time. She hadn't even thought about it until she was standing over Connor's corpse; that was when she had fallen apart. That was when guilt had clawed at her intestines and her scalp had pricked with shame. That was the moment she had seen herself as a monster.

And she had been prepared to do it again. She had been ready to kill Kol; part of her still wanted to while the rest of her screamed no.

She wasn't a killer; she didn't want to be a killer. Even feeding from Matt made her heart ache.

Had Kol been right?

"It happens with hybrids…" She tilted her head and swiped at her traitorous eyes.

"It can occur with vampires, darling," he bent his knee and propped his elbow on it. "It's extremely rare but it can happen provided the right conditions are met. One vampire can be sired to another; they follow every order given to them rather it's direct or indirect."

"What are the conditions?" Elena swallowed and met his dark eyes. Surely they should have been murderous after what she had planned to do, but try as she might she could see no malicious intent.

He heaved a sigh that almost sounded disappointed and frowned.

"With hybrids the bond is brought on by gratitude," his fingers tapped his shin, "but with vampires it's tied to emotions. A bond will form when feelings exist in the human prior to turning."

"So If Stefan's blood had turned me…"

"You'd likely be in the same position," he shook his head, "but towards the other brother. Any vampire you had romantic feelings for could have turned you and you'd be in this exact same position."

Sired. Sired. Sired.

It repeated in her head like a mantra all the way to the boarding house. She was sired to Damon.

At first she hadn't wanted to believe it, but the more she had considered the possibility the more sense it had made. Did Damon know? Did Damon suspect? Was that why he was so intent on 'fixing' her? Was that why he wanted the cure?

She couldn't be sired to him if she wasn't a vampire.

She slammed on her brakes. Gravel flew up and scattered across the green lawn; a few pieces dinged the blue car a few inches in front of her vehicle.

She jumped out of the Jeep and stomped across the yard. Her sneakers made hollow thumps over the deck.

She didn't bother knocking; she hadn't knocked on this particular door in months.

Stefan and Caroline spun around when she stormed into the living room and up the stairs. She ignored their surprised cries and made her way down the hall.

The heavy door banged against the wall and succeeded in making Damon jump away from his dresser.

"Elena," his shirt fell open on either side of his chest. "This is an unexpected surprise," he smirked and stepped towards her.

She took a step back, held up a hand and collided with the wall. She bit down on her lip to keep it from trembling, but he saw the emotions flashing in her eyes.

"What's wrong?" He tilted his head and looked her over.

"Am… am I…" Elena took a deep breath and tried again. "Am I sired to you?"

Damon didn't answer, but the admission was in his eyes. Suddenly it wasn't fear or sadness making her body quiver.

"How long have you known?" She crossed her arms.

"I didn't know, Elena," he shook his head.

"Alright, fine," she snapped, "how long have you suspected?"

Damon hesitated. She could hear his heart pounding in his chest and the audible gulp when he swallowed.

"I thought maybe… maybe when you couldn't keep the blood down…"

"Before you told me to kill Connor," her pulse slammed in her neck, "before I broke his neck; before you made me a murderer."

Her voice had grown louder with each syllable and drawn Stefan and Caroline to the door.

Caroline would be the first to admit that seeing Elena go off the rails and slap Damon was extremely amusing, and satisfying. She couldn't count the number of times that she had wanted to haul off and hit the elder Salvatore.

"I told you so," Caroline turned to Stefan.

"You knew?" Elena spun on her heel and began advancing towards her friend. Her eyes grew round; she forced back the onslaught of tears. "You knew about this?"

Caroline straightened up and shook her head.

"I suspected, I didn't know," the blonde swallowed. "That's what I came over here to talk to Stefan about."

"You'll talk to him, but not me," Elena shook her head. She could feel herself growing hysterical.

"I thought something was wrong," Caroline crossed her arms. "I wanted to make sure before I brought it up with you. I wanted to find a solution first."

"She just wanted to help, Elena," Stefan interjected. "We both do."

"No," she shook her head, "you don't want to help me, Stefan. You want to fix me. You want me to be that sweet little, helpless human. You all do, and I'm sick of it."

"Elena, calm down," Damon finished buttoning his shirt.

Against her will she felt her heart rate begin to slow; her descent down the stairs was silent. She made no move to listen to Stefan or Caroline's pleas that she stay put in the boarding house; luckily Damon kept his mouth shut until she was gone.

If he had asked her to stay she didn't hear him over the crunch of gravel beneath her tires.

She knew she should want to scream and pitch a fit, but she was calm. She knew it was because of Damon; because he had told her to calm down, but she decided to think of it as the calm before the storm.

She wanted to know what her true feelings were, but how could she know for sure. The presence of Damon's blood in her system had amplified her emotions during the transition, so understanding how she felt seemed impossible.

It could have easily been Stefan. Would she have noticed if it was?

Why couldn't it have been Klaus' blood? She definitely wouldn't have been in this position then.

She contemplated her options as she drove through the empty streets of Mystic Falls. She could only come up with one viable solution.

Elena brought her car to a gentle stop and stepped out of the vehicle. She closed the door with a little more force than was strictly necessary and climbed the stairs to knock; she might have walked straight in had it not been for her lack of an invitation.

She knocked again when there was no answer. She knocked hard enough to temporarily bruise her knuckles.

She crossed her arms over her chest and listened to the shuffling footsteps as they drew closer and closer to the door.

"Elena?" Bonnie blinked tiredly and pulled her sweater closed against the winter chill. "What are you doing here? It's the middle of the night."

"I need your help," she sighed. "I need a witch."

"Come on in," Bonnie stepped back to let her friend enter the house. "What's wrong?"

Elena settled on the couch with Bonnie. She wrung her hands together told the young witch everything that she had found out in the last twenty-four hours.

"You want me to break it," Bonnie searched the new vampire's gaze.

Elena swallowed and nodded.

"I want you to try, please," she let out a shaky breath. "I don't know what I feel anymore, Bon. I want to know that what I feel is real, or if it's just been heightened in the transition. Do I love him, or is it a result of my conflicted emotions before I turned? He said I could have just as easily been bonded to Stefan."

"I'm gonna be honest 'Lena," Bonnie pushed her hair back from her face, "I've never heard of something like this happening before. I've never seen anything like it in my grimoire, but I'll look into it for you."

"Thank you, Bon," Elena nodded. A line appeared between her brows when Bonnie opened her mouth as if to say something more and closed it. "What is it?"

"It's just…" Bonnie pressed her lips together and drew in a deep breath. "It seems like the person to really ask about this is a vampire… a vampire who knows about this sort of thing." She tilted her head. "Kol gave you some answers; maybe he could give you more."

"I think I pretty much exhausted him," Elena shrugged, "and I don't think I should be around him until this is sorted out. I tried to kill him… I tried to get Jeremy to kill him, and until I can know for sure that I'm not going to do that again I don't want to be near him or any other Original who could finish the mark without killing everyone I care about. I don't want anyone to die."

Three weeks; it had been three weeks since she had seen either of the Salvatores. She hadn't spoken to them or Caroline. She'd been rushing out of every class she shared with Stefan or Caroline and walked away when they approached.

Her constant battle with her emotions kept her confined to her home for the most part. The only immortal she ever saw was Klaus when he would inevitably show up with a vampire for Jeremy to kill.

Elena turned her gaze from the ceiling and the gentle turning of her ceiling fan. Her phone was buzzing incessantly on the nightstand; she reached for it and held it to her ear.

"Hey Bon."

"Hey," Bonnie's voice sounded tired. "I've searched everywhere and finally came up with an answer. The only way to break a sire bond is for the vampire to be commanded to forget about the sire and move on with their life."

"I don't want to forget him, Bonnie," she rubbed the back of her neck, "and even if I did he'd never do that."

"I agree," Bonnie sighed. "Damon is essentially obsessed with you; he'd never tell you to forget about him."

"So that leaves me sired," Elena closed her eyes.

"I'm sorry, 'Lena. I know you really wanted to break the bond, but… there's no other way. Not that I could find."

"Thanks Bonnie," she shook her head and opened her eyes. "I got to go."

She hung up the phone and released a shaky breath. Her emotions were truly getting on her nerves. She could blame everything that had happened since turning on them.

She was starting to see the appeal of turning it off.

Elena shot up in bed.

"So what you're telling me is that: you've lost your mind," Jeremy took a drink of his water. "You can't turn off your humanity, 'Lena. That's what makes you… well you."

Elena blinked slowly and leaned back in her chair.

"There's no other way, Jeremy." She ran her tongue over her teeth; the telltale ache had started in her gums. She would have to feed soon. "The bond was created by my supposed feelings for Damon when I was human, and his blood. I can't do a thing about his blood, but I can do something about my feelings."

She ran her fingertip along the kitchen counter.

"Vampirism comes with a few perks," she hummed, "like that handy little switch. No more emotions, no more bond."

"So what?" Jeremy held the counter and leaned over the island to meet her eyes. "You're going to turn it off and then turn it back on?"

"That was the plan," Elena tilted her head.

"Was?" Jeremy's brows shot up. He leaned back and searched her almost bored expression. "You already did it, didn't you?"

"I even tested my theory," Elena nodded and lifted a half-drunk blood bag from her pocket. The veins under her eyes pulsed as she drank down the rest. It quenched her thirst, but she found herself craving something a little warmer.

"Then turn it back on," Jeremy fought down his sick feeling. He hadn't gotten used to seeing her feed yet, and the fact that he could actually see the entire act was making him nauseous. "You can drink from a blood bag; that means it worked."

"Yes it did," Elena tossed the empty plastic in the trash and licked her lips, "but I think I'm going to leave them off."

Jeremy felt his heart drop into his stomach. The sick feeling only grew with each word she said.

"You know I used to feel guilty," she leaned back against the counter, "because I survived the crash and mom and dad didn't. I hated myself. It's been a never-ending cycle of death ever since; all I ever did was grieve. I grieved for mom and dad, I grieved for Jenna and John, I grieved for Ric, and my own lost life. I was practically torn in two by Stefan and Damon because I thought I loved them, and I couldn't figure out which one I loved more, but the truth is I don't care for either of them."

"That's because you don't care about anything right now," Jeremy shook his head.

"Do you remember what I was like before the car crash… the first one," she clarified. "I used to be way more fun; I was into everything: very busy. I want to get back to that girl again. I spent all my time caring for everyone else; it's time I started caring about me. I'm going to do what I want, when I want, and right now I want something to eat."

She flashed out of the kitchen and into her bedroom to change before leaving the house. She was in her car before Jeremy could stop her and steering the vehicle out of town in search of a vervain free food supply.

"Shit," Jeremy ran his hand back through his hair and watched her tail lights vanish into the distance. He pulled his phone from his pocket and scrolled through his contacts. The call connected on the third ring. "It's me… I need your help… Elena flipped the switch… I'm scared she's going to do something she'll wind up regretting."

Let me know what you think.