Disclaimer: I do not own DC's intellectual properties, only this storyline and my original characters.

The idea of 'Carmine's boys' comes from littlebatgirl's story Original Sin, so please check out this brilliant fanfic!

That being said, this story deals with rape, paedophilia, PTSD, swearing and torture, so please find another fanfic to read if these are not your cup of tea. I've tried to make this story equal parts humour, adventure and with some romantic elements, but overall this is a story about a tortured soul running on instincts. I don't want their actions to be taken as my opinion on the correct moral high ground; my aim is to depict a messed up, emotionally retentive person grow and interact with the shit life throws at her.

And So It Begins

To whom it may concern

Enclosed are the thoughts and confessions of Sergeant Maria Viola Coast, otherwise known as The Spectre of Gotham. Please respect the wishes of the deceased to allow public access to this document from hereon out, and that the original literature falls under the possession of whoever remains of the Ghiandoni family.

Please note that the following accounts are as accurate and candid as the author is aware, and that the personal opinions and thoughts recorded are not meant to offend the reader, but to provide insight to those who wish it.

My first memories are…abstract. More base feelings than anything; they are what I know now to be bitter winds hitting my face, the constant motion of my carrier running. Dogs howling in chase. Sharp branches slapping against my exposed face.

The first time I remember a 'home', it's a children's home where I now know sat on Trumans Lane, in the Narrows of Gotham City. The layers of grey seem to collapse around each room, and I find myself sitting in the corner with building blocks between my legs. For a reason I cannot remember, one day I slip through the black metal fence and run across the street. Within minutes, I am hopelessly lost.

Maria sniffed noisily as she stumbled along, hugging herself for warmth. She doesn't really think she's ever been anything but lonely; but now, with so many strangers walking around her swiftly, it's worse than ever. The strap of her left shoe is starting to dig in painfully. As the sun begins to wither, so do the crowds and Maria starts to cry loudly, obnoxiously so. Whenever other kids cried at home, there was always an adult who came rushing, but here, Maria stays invisible apart from some businessmen scowling down as they pass her.

Until a large hand rests on her curly head. She yelps and stumbles around, to find a thin man with a heavy brow kneeling over. His face is pockmarked and slightly red from a bad shave, but he gives Maria a wide smile and tuts. "You look a little lost. Is you're uh…Mom around sweetheart?"

Maria exhales painfully, suddenly hot with shame. She doesn't want to say that her Mummy and Daddy are gone, she's been left behind. So she shakes her head, and whines when the thin man tuts again and starts pulling Maria closer, his thumbs large enough to rest on her ears. He sighs dramatically, then leans in to Maria, ignoring her flinch. "It's a little cold out here. Maybe I could take you home then, huh? Do you like pizza? We can get some on the way."

Despite the heavy feeling in Maria's gut, she perks up at the mention of pizza. She's never had a single slice, but her favourite thing in the world is the smell of hot dough cooking from the takeaway next to her. With that in mind, Maria sniffs and nods her head.

The man's grip is too large to be comfortable, encasing her hand in his fist. The car he takes her to is fun though - he even lets her sit in the front seat! The man, who tells her his name is Bobby, is notably crouched under the low ceiling of the Volvo. He continuously talks to Maria, asking what she likes to do, does she have friends, and where does she live.

"I live at St Mary's." Maria answers. There's a pause, then Bobby gives a throaty chuckle that makes Maria uneasy.

He gives her a warm smile that crinkles so much, she can't see his eyes. "Oh I know Mary's house. You're much too pretty for that place!"

Maria doesn't really know why Bobby would say that, but she smiles because no one has ever told her that she is pretty.

It isn't for another 15 minutes that Maria starts to think that she couldn't have wondered this far from the children's home. Bobby immediately tells her that he knows the best pizza place in the world, and this detour won't take long! So Maria stays placid for another while, until it is so dark outside she knows that the adults at St Mary's must be looking for her.

They drive further and further into the darker streets of the Narrow, past rotting warehouses and abandoned estates until they cross onto wide motorways. By the time Bobby drives off onto a smaller one-way road, Maria is fighting to stay awake. She wants to ask Bobby where the pizza place is, as her tummy is growling, but looking at his sallow figure hunched in the darkness, she suddenly loses her courage. Eventually, they pull along a muddy patch of trees. Maria watches nervously as Bobby slows the car until a poorly lit gate slides open. She starts to squint to see outside, and wonders whether she could run home if she pulls open her door now.

But just as she starts to entertain this thought, Bobby stops the engine with a lurch and grins down at her. "C'mon sweetheart, we made it."

"Bobby," Maria swallows as he unbuckles her and lifts her over the gearbox through his car door. "I don't know if I'm allowed this far from-"

It's as if Bobby has shut down, she thinks, as he suddenly tugs her around wide grey building. Even when she stumbles and cries out, Bobby continues with a grip that is too tight. They ascend a set of stone steps to a metal door. He pauses, flicking through a set of keys with his free hand. Maria repeats his name anxiously, but in the darkness as she is ignored yet again, she gets the horrible sensation that she has made a terrible mistake.