8. Tech Lab, Get!

"Why in the ever loving fuck were you using thermal clip weaponry?"

Garrus attempted to smirk knowingly, "I would have been shocked if you hadn't noticed it Shepard. But there's a problem. The older thermal weaponry is getting harder and harder to find, even on Omega…. Almost as though-"

"-Someone's making sure that it's hard to procure. I didn't want to believe it, but it adds up."

"Agreed. The pieces are there, and the puzzle smells like coercion or bribery, usually some corporate agenda. But if you're involved in sorting a mess out, Shepard, it usually gets exponentially worse than we were expecting."

"Oi. Slow down there on the compliments Garrus, my fragile male ego can only take so much." grinned Shepard.

"Heh. Quite. What was that law you humans use when talking about situations like these? Ah yes, Murphy's Law. Usually followed by expletives expressing discontent towards this 'Murphy'."

Shepard snorted. "So what do you really think is happening here, Garrus?"

"Hmm. Best guess, late-stage indoctrination of the council, or they're just complete imbeciles. Not sure which is worse."

"Could be both."

"Spirits, you just had to make it worse."

**TCWF**

The doors closed behind Garrus as he left, probably to talk dirty to the Normandy's cannons. Calibrations indeed.

However, one thing was confirmed – the lack of weaponry with traditional cooling systems was suspicious. Galactic-level suspicious, and yet, no one noticed? Just how subtle was this indoctrination? And how deep could it possibly go?

Were the Spectres also using this newer bullshit? He hoped not, and that some operatives at least had a semblance of sense left. But given that the Spectres are supposed to be upholding the Council's law…. Shepard wasn't too hopeful.

**TCWF**

Shepard stared balefully at the door to the Tech Lab, which was locked, for some reason.

"EDI. Get this door open."

"I'm sorry, Commander, but it's locked."

"Yes, the obvious had escaped me. UN-lock it."

"I cannot do that Commander. The Tech Lab can only be unlocked by a scientist."

"….. Run that by me again?"

"The Tech Lab can only be unlocked by a scientist, Commander. You are not a designated scientist, therefore, I cannot unlock it for you. That is what my protocol states."

Shepard massaged his temples. Really? Locked areas on his own ship? What is this, a video game?

Well, the solution was pretty simple.

"EDI, I now have the additional designation of scientist, effective immediately. Acknowledge."

"Processing…. Acknowledged. Unlocking doors."

An amused Shepard walked into the tech lab. It was more about the principle of the thing, really.

**TCWF**

Shepard had made his way to Joker, the sarcastic banter was always the highlight of his previous discussions, back on the old Normandy.

"Hey Commander, we got Garrus back! That's great, because he was totally my favourite. With that pole up his ass."

"I assume everything is going well up here?"

"Well, I really want a chance to put the Normandy through her paces. I just have to trim up the drive output, and it'll be like we never lost her."

EDI popped in at this time, "Safety standards advise against manipulating drive settings while engines are powered and in use, Mr. Moreau."

"Commander, can we shut this thing off? I don't need it in my day to day."

"It's got a mute. Use it."

"That doesn't change anything. It's still watching. Like some creepy kid staring at the back of your head in comp sci. You just want to …. punch him… but he's special, and sets fires or something."

A pause.

"Okay, a little too far there, but you know what I mean."

Shepard smirked, "We all have our crosses to bear."

"Thanks! I'll remember this." Joker's comeback was about as threatening as a puppy's growl.

**TCWF**

Shepard stood in the elevator, patiently waiting until he got to the crew deck. There was an entire ship to tour and people to observe, he'd better get to it. Objective defined, he walked out of the surprisingly fast elevator onto the crew deck, only to see –

"Hey, this ship has bathrooms!" Neat.

As it turned out, Dr. Erin Chakwas was on board, handling the med bay. Well, at least he could trust the doc on the ship to fix him up properly when he inevitably found himself in the med bay again. Some Serrice Ice Brandy would not be amiss for the good doctor either.

Stopping by Gardener's station to pick up a grocery list, and an utterly boring conversation with Miranda later, he stepped through the doors of the Main Battery. With any luck, he'd avoid walking in on Garrus's dirty talk while calibrating the guns.

**TCWF**

Shepard frowned as the main battery doors closed behind him. Garrus was in a revenge-y mood, which didn't look like it would be subsiding until this Sidonis fella was dead. That'd have to be taken care of soon; a lack of focus on a mission this vague, and on a ship loaded with people working for terrorist-like organisation? That was bad.

Getting off the elevator and onto the Engineering Deck, it was time to meet the ones that really kept the ship running. The Engineers.

**TCWF**

"I'm amazed Shepard came down to see us."

"I told you he would."

Shepard chuckled, hearing the start of a conversation between Ken and Gabby as he left the room.

Those two were just adorable. Alliance background aside, perhaps Ken would be amenable to spray painting all the goddamned Cerberus logos infesting the ship.

Adding an entry to his mental log about looking for T6-FBA couplings, Shepard headed back to the elevator to get back to his cabin. But not before offering a nod to the CSSU Odysseus that was visible in the hanger bay from the Engineering Deck windows.

**TCWF**

In the peaceful confines of his cabin, Shepard stared at his to do list.

- Get Mordin

- There's that data for Aria (something about a coup?)

- Source dem guns

- Recruit some more sociopaths

- That miscellaneous shopping list that kept increasing

- Yell at Anderson. How the heck did he let the guns thing slide.

- Throw Udina off a balcony when he starts bitching

Shepard considered.

….. Did the last one sound a bit extreme?

Shepard considered some more.

….. Nah.

**TCWF**

Donnel Udina felt a long suppressed behavioural instinct come to the forefront while doing some paperwork in his office on the Citadel. Unfortunately, like most politicians, he shoved that feeling (also known as Survival Instinct) to the bottom of his not surprisingly and pitifully small well of emotional range. Smaller than a teaspoon, to use a benchmark set by a certain fictional magical character, centuries ago.

Ah, Donnel Udina, we barely knew ye. We just didn't care to, really.

**TCWF**

As he continued to peruse his list, Shepard started to wonder if he really needed to pass along the data to Aria.

Time to debate himself.

It would be seen as a gift, giving him an 'in' of sorts with what was basically a pirate leader. A favour, basically.

It would also strengthen her hold on Omega, probably not in a good way. There was a good reason dictatorships were usually an absolute shitshow.

On the other hand, not passing along the data would mean… virtually no changes that would affect him.

Meh, it wasn't worth it. It's not like a bunch of decisions made over the course of the past few and upcoming years of conflict would affect the final endgame against the Reapers, right?

Though sending Aria some examples of sketchy omega-centric "Literature" would definitely be hilarious. Yes, that would be considered as data too.

Mmh. Well, time to get Mordin on the ship. And solve the plague, probably.

**TCWF**

"Repent! The end is nigh!"

Being a mad prophet sounded rather boring, Shepard thought. Like a glitchy audio player, those were the only words being repeated continuously. No changes in tonality, pitch, emotions etc. Where were the hate-filled diatribes towards sinners and promises of salvation if one did suspiciously cult-like things?

He had half a mind to show that amateur how it's done. The Cult of Shepard sounded awfully tempting, but he wasn't sure how to handle the logistics. That was more of an HR thing. Perhaps later.

Leaving the broken record behind, Shepard, Zaeed and Miranda headed towards the quarantined district, where they could see an argument between a human woman and a turian guard.

"Complaining is pointless, human. There's a plague. No one gets in or out."

"You can't keep me out! I live in there!"

"I told you to get lost, lady! The plague has the whole zone quarantined. Nobody gets in!"

"I'm human, you ass! Humans can't get the plague! Now let me get my stuff out before looters get it!"

"This thing affects every other race out there! We're not taking any chances. Nobody gets in until the plague has run it's course."

Shepard decided this would be a good moment to cut in. "There's a salarian named Mordin Solus in the slums. I've got to get in there to find him."

"The doctor? Crazy bastard opened up a clinic in the district a few months ago. Blue Suns weren't too happy when he moved in. I hear he's trying to deal with the plague. I wish him luck but the area is still locked down. Our orders are to wait until either the plague or the Blue Suns kill everyone, then go in and clean up."

Zaeed chipped in, "Well, I don't know if you've noticed, but the Blue Suns have been… pruned around Omega, so to speak. They won't be much of a problem."

Shepard smirked briefly. Time to turn up the intimidation. His voice shifted into a low, menacing growl.

"Take a good, long look at me. Do I look like a looter?"

"Uh, no."

"That's right. Now, I'm going in. If I find looters, I'll kill them. Anybody gets in my way, I'll kill them too."

The guard took a split second to observe Shepard's arsenal of weaponry, before nervously deciding that it was in his best interests to not interfere.

"I'll.. call the guards. They'll let you in with no trouble."

Shepard was pleased to hear the quaver of fear in the guard's voice. That book, 'How to make allies and intimidate enemies' was certainly coming in handy.

"Wait, you're stopping me, but not them? You son of a bitch!"

Hmm. Perhaps look into the Area of Effect section he had skipped over earlier. Did the chick not see he and his squad were essentially a walking armoury?

"You don't have a grenade launcher, lady. Get lost."

- - - Some crispy vorcha later - -

"Hey, hey, hey! Back off….. we got here first."

Shepard frowned at the human looters. Stealing from the plague-ridden, dying and dead populace, just because they were immune? That was low.

Unaware of Shepard's thoughts on the matter, the first of the two looters continued, "Hey, what did I say? We found this stuff. It's ours!"

The second looter interjected, "Ah, forget it. Noting but junk in here. This place is worse than the last one."

But first, Shepard had to know if a warning would be enough for them to stop. "Did you kill that turian?"

"What, the guy on the floor? Nah, the plague took care of him. We're just here to take a full accounting of all his worldly possessions.", the first looter chuckled.

"Stealing from the dead. That's pretty low."

"What's the big deal? It's not like they're going to miss anything. We're just showing a little entrepreneurial spirit. The plague doesn't affect humans, so we might as well cash in."

The second looter piped up, "Besides, if we don't take it, the vorcha or Blue Suns will. Better us than them, right?"

"No, not really. No more looting."

"Or what? You gonna shoot us?"

Shepard's smile was all teeth.

* BANG! *

The first looter went down.

"Aaargh! My leg! You shot me!"

"I've killed people for less."

The second looter raised his arms in a classic don't-kill-me-I-surrender pose, "Wait! Please, nobody needs to get killed, we're stopping okay? We just wanted to make a quick buck – it ain't worth getting killed over. We're done, seriously. We swear."

"Good boy."

Shepard turned to the kneecapped one, "And what advice are you going to give your children?"

"D-don't steal?"

"Indeed. And when they ask why, you will tell them you used to be a looter, but then you took a bullet to the knee. Be thankful I didn't use incendiary rounds."

Zaeed snorted. Miranda snickered. Both looters fainted.

Shepard surveyed the bleeding leg of the first looter.

"Meh, he'll be fine."

**TCWF**

"Professor Mordin Solus?"

"Hmm. Don't recognize you from the area. Well armed. No mercenary uniform. Quarantine still in effect. Here for something else. Vorcha cleanup? Unlikely. Vorcha a symptom, not cause. The plague? Uses as bio-weapon? No, too many guns. Soldiers, not scientists. Hired guns maybe? Looking for someone? Yes! But who-"

Amusing as it was to watch the scientist ramble on, Shepard interrupted, "Relax Mordin. I'm Commander Shepard, and I came here to find you. I'm on a critical mission, and I need your help."

"Mission? What mission? No. Too busy. Clinic understaffed, plague spreading too fast. Who sent you?"

"Not sent, per se, I've got more of a temporary ceasefire with them. Heard of Cerberus?"

"Hmm. Thought they only worked with humans. Why request Salarian aid?"

"Shutting down the Collectors is the mission."

"Collectors? Interesting. Plague is engineered. Collectors one of the few groups with ability to design it. Our goals may be similar."

Shepard nodded, things were looking up.

"But must stop plague first. Already have a cure. Need to distribute it at environmental control centre. Vorcha in the way. Need to kill them."

Shepard sighed. "Just once, I'd like to ask someone for help and hear them say 'Sure. Let's go. Right now. No strings attached.'"

"Life is a negotiation. We all want. We all give to get what we want."

As Shepard was absorbing that particular piece of philosophy, the environmental systems shut down. Loudly.

Shepard sighed again. Before Mordin could continue, "Yeah, we'll handle it, just pass me the cure."

Mordin did so, but apparently he wasn't done. "One more thing. Daniel. One of my assistants. Went into Vorcha territory. Looking for victims. hasn't come back."

Cue another long sigh.

"I'll see what I can do."

- - - Some cannon fodder later - - -

This Daniel may be a doctor, but he's definitely also a moron, thought Shepard as he held the Batarian in his sights.

"If we release the prisoner, can we go?"

"Yeah."

The Batarians lowered their weapons. "You got what you wanted, human. Are we free to go?"

"Yeah. Just go."

But a Batarian had to open his mouth. "Human nobility. I didn't know such a thing existed."

Really? A Batarian of all species, saying that? This couldn't be left unanswered.

"Batarians that aren't slavers. I didn't know such a thing existed."

"Why you-"

Shepard's warning shot passed by their heads, interrupting the Batarian.

"Keep walking."

The Batarians booked it.

"Danny boy, get back to the clinic. The good doctor is rightfully worried about your dumb ass."

Shepard continued on without a backwards glance. Enough side quests already.

- - - A lot of dead Blood Pack later - - -

"Done. Ready to help with the Collectors now?"

"Yes. Unexpected to be working with Cerberus-"

"You're working with me, not Cerberus. They just happen to have a similar goal, for now."

"…. Understood. Just need to finish up here. Won't take long. Meet you at your ship. Looking forward to it."

"Alright. We're heading out. See you on the Normandy."

**TCWF**

Shepard was in the Briefing Room of the Normandy, when the doors opened, and Mordin walked in, escorted by a rather effusively speaking Jacob.

"Welcome to the Normandy, Professor. It's an honour to have you on board."

"Yes. Very exciting. Cerberus working with aliens. Unexpected. Illusive Man branching out maybe?"

Shepard snorted at that. "Don't kid yourself professor. Humans are still first in Tim's eyes. But this mission is too big for them to handle alone."

Jacob continued, "The Collectors are abducting human colonists out on the fringes of Terminus space."

"Mm, not simple abductions. Wouldn't need me for simple."

"Entire colonies disappear without a trace. No distress signals, no signs of any kind of attack. Almost as if everyone just up and left. There's virtually no evidence that anything unusual happened at all. Except that everyone is gone."

"Gas, maybe? No, spreads too slow. Airborne virus? No, slower than-"

Shepard interrupted for the sake of expediency, "You don't have to guess. There are some samples from one of the colonies, along with video evidence. You can analyse them and figure out how it was done."

"Yes. Of course. Analyse the samples. Going to need a lab."

EDI piped in at this point, much to Mordin's surprise, "There is a fully equipped lab on the Combat deck, Professor Solus. If you find anything lacking, please place a requisition order."

"Who's that? Pilot? No. Synthesized voice. Simulated emotional inflections. Could it be…. no. Maybe. Have to ask. Is that an AI?"

Shepard grinned, this was a smart one. "Yes, EDI is an AI."

Mordin became a bit more serious, "AI on board? Non-human crew members? Cerberus more desperate than I thought. Which way to the lab?"

**TCWF**

Shepard made his way down to the med bay, having previously received a message from Dr. Chakwas about the healing of his facial scars. At the cost of some platinum, it was a bargain.

One quick procedure later, a satisfied and scar-less Shepard headed back to the CIC, to sort out his messages at the CIC.

"Hmm, let's see… Side quest, side quest, a thanks for rescuing Garrus, another side quest, and… oh, something from Anderson?"

"So he wants answers? Well sure Anderson, but I want answers for this gun fiasco too."

Shepard began chuckling evilly on reading the next message, looked like Tali came through. It was an overly expensive estimate, as planned, from the Quarians for the older heat sink based weaponry. Delivery in under a week, all on Cerberus credits.

It was good to be Commander Shepard right about now.

I had originally planned on having this chapter be the one where Shepard does all the crew conversations, but that started to look really boring (and unnecessarily long) once I had ONE full conversation typed in. So none of that, but since I do my gameplay sessions per rough chapter outline, this one is a bit lacking in story advancement, sorry about that.

And you may have noticed the different tones/styles of most of the chapters so far. They may be a bit jarring, sorry; but I'm just trying to figure out what style/tone of writing comes more naturally to me. Thanks for continuing to read regardless!