title: good in goodbye
pairing: shikaino i guess? or just INO cause home girl does not get enough loveeee
author's note: modern au time! this is slightly angst-y. also i am going to mark this as complete for now, because it is a one shot, but i may change my mind later! ino is probably OOC?
disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

"Guys," Ino said, interrupting their chattering. "I'm moving."

Shikamaru looked at her, startled. They were just a bunch of twenty-something-year-olds out having a couple of drinks, celebrating yet another friend's engagement. (Naruto had gone all out for his proposal to Hinata.) They were talking about plans for the summer, a trip they could all take together maybe, or another time they could all get together.

"So? Just come over after you're done," Naruto replied, waving his hands about like Ino was being silly.

"Yeah, it shouldn't take you all day to move, Ino," Sakura added, gazing quizzically at her friend.

But when Ino's eyes flickered to Shikamaru's, something cold settled in the pit of his stomach.

"I'm moving out of Konoha," Ino said. She couldn't blame them for the misunderstanding; she had switched apartments almost every year since graduating college. "Out of the country, actually. I bought a house in Kumo."

The rest of what was said (What?! When did that happen?! Wow! Congratulations! I'm having a party, you're all invited, I hope you'll all come) was drowned out in a roar in Shikamaru's ears. The others clamored for details, asking her why she was leaving, what did the house look like, did she have a job yet?

But Shikamaru was staring at her. He did not know what to say, how to react. He knew she had mentioned moving away, far away, a few times over the years. But it was only brief, as if it was just an idea to escape whatever was going on in her life at that time. He couldn't believe she was actually leaving. Shikamaru couldn't believe she hadn't told him.

And when the excitement died down, Ino walked away from him without a word.

Ino's goodbye party was the night before she left. She tried not to think of the look on Shikamaru's face when she had told their friends that she was leaving. It had broken her heart a little bit to seem look so startled, so hurt. Irritated, Ino slammed her brush down. He had made his choice; this was hers.

After all, what was left of her heart to be broken by him?

Ino shook her head, scolding herself. There was no place in her life for that kind of dramatic thinking; she had a move to plan for, a goodbye party to attend.

"I just have to say it," Sakura said, from her place on Ino's bed. "I hate that you're leaving."

Ino turned to face her best friend. Sakura had come over before the party to get ready with Ino one last time. They had been best friends and roommates through college and post-grad life. Sakura had been of a few reasons that Ino did not want to leave Konoha; but then Sakura had finally gotten Sasuke to commit to her, and they were moving in with each other, bound to get engaged any day now.

"I know," Ino replied, sadly. "Leaving you is one of the hardest parts of this whole thing. But, you're entering this new stage of life with Sasuke. You're going to be fine-more than fine. You guys are so happy together."

"That doesn't mean that you have to leave," Sakura pouted, and this was a sure sign that Sakura was drunk, because she had never been anything less than absolutely enthusiastic and supportive of Ino's desire to move.

Ino sighed and didn't respond, thinking It kind of does.

Because here was the truth: Ino felt that she had gone nowhere in her life.

She cycled between apartments, always living in ones that she wasn't happy with, while her friends moved out and had babies or got married or moved in with long term, serious partners. None of those things had happened to her, and her heart ached over it. She was still in the same job as a mental health clinic, which she was now overqualified for with her doctorate in psychology. She had no boyfriend, and no one even remotely interested her. She had given up on online dating years ago. Which was not to say that she needed a man to be happy, because she didn't. Ino had worked very hard to love herself and now she wanted to love her life.

And she knew she couldn't do that in Konoha, where she was supposed to be friends with that man who had broken her heart.

Ino was aware that it very much sounded like she was leaving Konoha to escape Shikamaru. Some days, that was a little bit true. Her feelings for him and worn her down, little by little, even after all these years. They had been friends since childhood; she had been stupidly in love with him all her life, never realizing until a few years back when they had (drunkenly) fallen into bed together.

"Well, you look great," Sakura said, deciding to change the subject. Ino flashed her an appreciative smile; her goal was to not cry tonight. She had always been the most stylish of their friends, and that had not changed. She had selected white pants and a pinstriped blue flutter sleeve top that still clung to her curves. Complete with high wedge sandals and her hair let down instead of up in its usual ponytail, Ino knew she looked fabulous.

"Fake it til you make it," Ino muttered to herself, checking her appearance once more in the mirror.

Ino had invited all of her friends and coworkers to her party on the Edge Rooftop. It was bound to be full of other Konohaians partying the night away, but Ino didn't care. She was determined to relax and have fun and not to allow tonight to be sad, miserable excuse of saying goodbyes. She did not want a big, dramatic scene; she wanted one last night of fun with the friends she had made in this beautiful city.

Everyone came, including people she didn't think would. All of her roommates over the years were there. Her coworkers and her old boss showed up. Even her father was there; he jokingly asked if there was anything he could do to get her to stay. Ino just smiled sadly and shook her head, and Inoichi hugged her in the only way that a father who didn't understand his daughter, but still loved and supported her, could.

Ino managed to escape a conversation with her friends before it turned tearful, and ran to the bartender for support.

"I'm gonna need another one of these," she said, tapping her Summer Shandy bottle. "And a shot of something that won't kill me in the morning, please."

He smiled at her and went in search of her request. Throughout the night, Ino had been steadily talking him up because hey, he was cute, and she was there, and it was her last night in Konoha, and she hadn't had sex in so, so long.

"What's the party girl doing over here, all by herself?" came a voice, and Ino's heart skipped a beat as she turned to face Shikamaru. He grinned at her in the lazy, confident way that always made her heart flutter. Dressed in jeans and a button down, Shikamaru was as effortlessly handsome as ever.

Annoyed with herself, Ino turned away from him, just as the bartender set down her beer and a shot of clear alcohol. She pulled her card out for payment, but he waved her away.

"These are on me," he said, eyes flicking to Shikamaru before returning to Ino, "for the party girl."

Ino quirked an eyebrow at the bartender, playfully suspicious, before snatching up the shot and downing it. She chased the minty tasting liquid with her summer ale, while Shikamaru ordered an Old Fashioned for himself. When it arrived, he toasted to her.

"To you," Shikamaru said, his brown eyes catching hers. "I know you'll do great in Kumo."

"Thanks," Ino replied, feeling awkward and shy. It's been two years, for fuck's sake, Ino thought to herself, angrily. Shikamaru still did mad things to her when it was just the two of them.

Shikamaru sighed and said, "I'm sad that you're leaving, Ino."

Ino flinched at his use of her name; he usually called her Yamanaka. Shikamaru hadn't used her first name in over a year; ever since he had chosen Temari over her. Ino had no idea what to say to him.

"Everyone keeps telling me that," she replied, deciding that deflection was the safest route.

"Because it's true," Shikamaru said, hopping off the stool to step in front of her. He was so much taller than her, she had to practically strain her neck to look up into his eyes. "I didn't even know you were looking to leave Konoha." There was no accusation in his tone, just an underlying injured note that only someone who knew him as well as Ino did could detect.

"I've always talked about leaving," Ino deflected again, side stepping him.

"I never knew how serious you were about it," Shikamaru said, keeping pace with her.

"I guess you don't know as much about me as you think," Ino replied, shooting him a look. The phrase was a callback to one night years ago, after too many beers between friends, when they had drunkenly (so, so drunkenly) fallen into bed with each other. The memory of Shikamaru's hands in her hair, her name on his lips, ambushed her. Even now, Ino felt guilty.

"Ino," he said, in a patient but firm voice. She shook herself free of the memories. "Why didn't you tell me you wanted to leave?"

She wanted to say something like because we don't talk like that any more or because I just didn't think about you. But she was Ino, and she wasn't a liar, so instead she whispered, very softly, the truth:

"Because you could have talked me out of it."

Which also meant, because I'm still in love with you.

Ino tried to side step him again, to return to her party, to not cry, damn it, because she had shed enough tears over him and -

Shikamaru caught her wrist, pulling her back towards him, back into his arms. He held her away from him for a moment, forcing her to look in his eyes, searching for something in her face. Ino gazed up at him and then decided you know what fuck it and dragged his face down to hers for a proper kiss.

They had only kissed a few other times, most of which were associated with drinking. While Ino was well on her way to drunk, she was still clear-minded, and Shikamaru had never felt more sober in his life than that moment. The kiss was a desperate question, and he was all too willing to give her an answer. Without a second thought, he pulled her against him, his hands sliding from her elbows to her waist. Ino stood up on her toes to better angle her lips against his mouth.

Ino pulled away first, breathless. Shikamaru leaned over her, almost panting. He pressed his forehead against hers, and Ino kept her face upturned towards his, as if their lips were drawn together.

"Come over," Ino murmured suddenly, recklessly.

"What?" Shikamaru said, but Ino was not going to repeat herself, so she just looked at him wordlessly, suggestively. Then, Shikamaru smiled and said, "Okay."

Ino woke up first the next morning. Shikamaru slept soundly beside her, not even stirring when she rolled over to look at him. Ino's fingers itched to reach out and touched Shikamaru's face, but she held herself back. Instead, she got up, pulled on her favorite fuzzy purple robe, and went to make herself some coffee.

Carefully, Ino measured out enough for one person. She did not want Shikamaru to stay. There was nothing left for them to say to each other. Last night had been the perfect way to say goodbye to him and her feelings for him.

She had nothing left to give him.

"You look like a fuzzy grape," Shikamaru laughed, appearing in the doorway. Ino jumped; she hadn't realized he was awake, and then glared at him.

"Well, good morning to you, too," she shot back, sarcastically.

Shikamaru just chuckled, and Ino watched as he paced across the kitchen and came to stand in front of her.

"Good morning," he said, looking down at her. There was a brief hesitation; an awkward pause, before asked, "Do you need any help packing or anything?"

"No, I'm okay," Ino replied, politely, pointedly. "Thank you, though."

Shikamaru hovered for a moment, then said, "I should probably go?"

"Yeah probably," Ino said, but not unkindly. She walked him to the door, where he lingered on her front porch.

How many times had she wanted this moment, wanted him to stand outside her front door and look at her like that? How many times had she dreamed of having him in her arms again? They hadn't been together, but they had been perfect for each other. They had been friends forever, and then one, stupid night had changed everything. There would always be a part of her heart that belonged him; a part of her soul that longed for him. Even after he had chosen someone else, even after they had broken up.

"Would you have stayed?" Shikamaru asked. If we had been able to figure it out went unsaid.

Ino touched his face gently, and said, "I don't know." She lifted her face to his; he kissed her like she wanted.

"Text me when you get to Kumo," Shikamaru said.

Ino smiled and said, "Goodbye, Shikamaru," because they both knew she wouldn't. Shikamaru stepped out of her apartment and when he paused at the bottom of her front steps to look back, Ino had already closed the door. She slid down to the floor as if her legs couldn't hold her up anymore, stared at the boxes to be loaded into the car and thought how last night would have to be enough.

*thank u, next plays in the background*