Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon... *grumbles* or any of her fellow canon characters. However, I have created some of my own, and those can be found on my profile page. I am not making money from this fan-fiction (even though I wish I could) and only this version of the story is my own.

Author's Note: This is probably going to be a bit different from my normal writing style. And it will probably be a bit AU. Not sure how much... but there will be changes! Especially because I am adding the Doom Tree Arc, but no memory loss.
Also, you may notice some changes to characters. First, Chibi-Usa. I don't like the way she's portrayed. So, I'm remaking her a bit. Then, Mamoru, because I think people forget that he was raised in an orphanage. He wouldn't be as… unaffected as he is portrayed. Finally, Usagi, because lets be honest, after everything people say to her in the Anime... she wouldn't be as happy or bubbly as people think.

Updated (1/29/20): Changing ages... Usagi is sixteen and Mamoru is eighteen. Some other minor changes may occur.

Don't Push Me: A new take on Sailor Moon R
Chapter One:
Beginnings

Usagi was nestling herself closer and closer, wrapping an arm around his waist. He groaned. Not again. The girl just didn't understand what she was getting herself into. He was eighteen, and his needs were already driving him crazy. He knew he couldn't hold out if he let her continue. She tried to kiss his neck and he had to pull her away and sit up.

"Don't push me Usagi," Mamoru said, holding his girlfriend at arm's length. "You really don't know what you're getting into."

"But Mamo-chan!" She huffed. "I was only trying to cuddle."

She put on an innocent look, but Mamoru could see right through it. He stood and pulled her up off the couch. "Oh, no you don't Usagi. It's time for you to go." He led her to the door and held her bag while she removed the house slippers and put on her shoes.

"I love you Mamo-chan," she whispered, now looking dejected. As guilty as it made him feel to put that look on her face, he couldn't change how he felt.

"I love you too Usako. Now go, before it gets dark." He met her lips her gently, but opened the door before she could try and intensify the kiss. As soon as she was in the hall he closed the door and leaned back against it. That had been too close for comfort. He adjusted himself in his pants. He couldn't let her get that close. Not anytime soon. She wasn't ready.

At sixteen, she was a beauty. Not fully a woman, no longer a child. Every time he saw her his heart swelled, and unfortunately, so did a certain appendage. He walked to the bathroom for another ice-cold shower. He'd lost count of the number he'd taken in the months they had been dating.

He wanted her, more than he could express. He wanted to take her every time he saw her. But there was no way she could handle him and his needs. Because he was absolutely certain that the moment he took her he would become exactly the way he was in his dreams. Possessive, jealous, needy, bossy, and insane with constant lust. She would probably never leave his bed again. He just couldn't do that to her. Not until they were decently married.

Because he was going to marry his Usako. There was no doubt of that in his mind. Probably within a week of her eighteenth birthday if he could convince her parents to give their consent. He'd been married to her in his past life. Though he couldn't remember feeling so much pressure to possess her completely in his days as Endymion.

No, in this life he'd faced much more loss and heartache, and to him Usagi was more than just a girlfriend. She was the moon, the sun, the stars, the earth. She was the air he breathed and the warmth on his face. She was his everything. And he would do anything for her, be anything she needed. Protector, guide, instructor, cheerleader, husband.

But not yet. "Don't push me, Usako," he repeated to the empty room as he stepped into the shower. To hell with ice-cold. For once he was going to find a little relief. He wrapped one hand around himself and rubbed, much more roughly than his little Usako might have done he mused.

He could just imagine their first time. He would kiss every inch of her, let her explore while he explored her. He would bury himself inside her and never leave. He would take her again and again, always to new heights, and then he would fill her with his seed, leaving a piece of himself inside her.

White jets were released from him as his body jerked. They splattered against the blue tile walls of the shower and he sighed. He wanted to be inside his woman so badly. She was just too young, too naïve. She wasn't ready.

Usagi held herself together until she made it out of the building. Then she ran for the alley behind it and let herself cry. She wondered if Mamoru would ever want her the way she wanted him. Her dreams had become more and more explicit over time, the memories of Serenity and Endymion's time together filling her with needs she barely understood.

She knew she was young, but now she was beginning to believe there was more to the story. What if Mamoru didn't really love her? What if he did love her, but more like a little sister? Or what if he just thought she was ugly. She looked down at herself. Her school uniform was a bit wrinkled from their time studying and then cuddling on the couch. Her breasts weren't as large as the other girls, and her legs were far too thin. She was also short. By far she was the shortest of the Senshi. Even Minako and Ami were taller than her, and Rei and Makoto were practically Amazons in comparison.

Her self-esteem plummeting, she lowered her head and crossed to the other side of the alley, coming out closer to her home. She trudged along the streets, her head down, eyes on her feet. Part of her was angry, but mostly she just felt sad. It had been a long, hard road for her to gather any self-esteem. Things that she struggled with the other Senshi completed with ease. She had to train longer, study harder, work more for the simplest achievements than the other girls did.

Often she had either Mamoru or Ami helping her with her homework because even when she understood it in class, she couldn't wrap her mind around the concepts later when she was alone. Makoto and Rei both trained her physically, as did Mamoru, though his lessons were more on things such as balance and close quarters fighting. Rei trained her in the spiritual world as well. Minako helped her with so many things. The other blonde, while as happy and bright as she was, didn't seem to struggle as much. And on top of that she was prettier.

Usagi sighed again, and fiddled with the strap on her school bag, squeezing her fingers tightly around it. She wondered if there would ever be a time when she felt beautiful, or strong, or smart. She couldn't even imagine it. If she was completely honest with herself, she knew her only real gift was being nice. It wasn't much of a gift in her opinion, but rather something she felt everyone could and should do.

Another sigh was heaved into the growing twilight, and she swiped away a stray tear. Following the path to her house, she trudged up the stairs to the porch and opened the door. It took a moment for her to realize no one was home. She went to the kitchen and looked on the message board. Her brother Shingo had a soccer game and her mother and father were going to a dinner party for his work. She didn't feel like eating so she turned and trudged up the stairs.

Luna was sitting on her bed, tail swishing, whiskers twitching. "Usagi you're twenty minutes late!" The cat huffed, her black fur rising in irritation.

"Sorry Luna," Usagi muttered the words, another tear slipping down her cheek. Her guardian didn't notice.

"You need to work harder Usagi. At this rate you're more a danger to yourself and the others than anything. Seriously, if you don't get your act together you're going to get someone hurt."

Usagi could only nod. She knew all this. She threw her bag down onto her desk and sat in the chair to hear the rest of Luna's diatribe.

"You also need to try and focus on your schoolwork. Seriously girl. I know your grades have improved, but they could be so much better than they are."

Usagi nodded again. There was no point in arguing. The cat was right. She sniffled and nodded along through the various other complaints that made up their evening ritual. Finally, the cat wound down and told her she was going out to talk to Artemis. She ordered Usagi to do her homework, and the girl could only nod, not bothering to tell her that the work was already done.

Instead she lit a candle and tried to work on accessing visions. Maybe practice would help her understand more of what she saw. She never could get it when Rei tried to teach her. She cleared her mind, little negative thoughts being the last to finally leave, and focused on the small flame. For some reason she always had better luck on her own with the candle than she did with the Great Fire and Rei helping.

A few minutes passed before the visions began. Like always, they seemed to flicker, much like the flame she used as a guide, but she would get drawn into them quickly. It was the interpretation that she struggled with.

A tree. It was weeping, calling for help, and for love.

A moon shadowed in pain.

A broken brooch, her own she thought, and then a new one.

A single tear caught in a glass vial.

A dark room, and in the corner, her own form, prostrate on the floor, wearing a silk dress with wings, though the dress was half torn from her frame. The shadow of a man looming over her.

A girl with pink hair who wept and called for her mother, her eyes red and sad. Herself and the little girl, hands clasped, holding up matching Legendary Silver Crystals.

When her head came up, more than an hour had passed. She thanked the Kami and blew out the flame before grabbing her small notebook and writing everything she had seen. Some of the images were familiar. Most of them actually. But the tear in the vial and herself in a dark room were new. The tear gave her an idea, but she bit her lip, wondering if it was something she could actually pull off. After all, she wasn't a very good Senshi. The dark room made her shudder. There was an awful feeling about what would happen in that room. She hardly wrote anything down about it, not wanting to think about what that man was going to do.

The little girl called out to her the most. She'd seen her for weeks now and was simply waiting for her to arrive. At this point she felt very close to the image of the girl she'd seen and wanted to help her. The little one wanted her mother.

Usagi loved her own mother dearly, and the thought of the little girl crying, in need of help, tore at the loving teenager. She would do everything in her power to save the girl's mother. She knew in her heart she wasn't powerful, but she was going to continue to try. When she was done writing, she slid the notebook back into place on her desk and moved across the room. It took a moment to drag her table out of the way, standing it on edge to lean it against the wall.

She then knelt and moved onto her hands and knees to begin her nightly workout. She could do seventeen push ups now, and she was very excited about it. When she had begun, nearly a month before, she'd only been able to manage one. She moved into sit-ups, then crunches, then the other exercises to build strength and muscle.

Finally, she turned on her television and popped in her video of Tai Chi. It was the one thing that seemed to help her with balance, and she was getting better. Though it was difficult for her to maintain her center, she worked hard to get herself where the other girls seemed to be instinctively.

Finally, exhausted, she put the table away and took her shower. She refused to look down at her body as she washed, and instead focused on math problems in her head. Perhaps if she ignored her ugliness for a while she might turn into a swan. That had been her favorite story as a child. The Ugly Duckling. To her it meant that you couldn't judge other people based on what you saw. It meant that there was another type of beauty.

When she finally laid down in the bed, a horrible thought occurred to her. It was awful and made her feel even worse, but the more she thought about it, the more sense it made. She wanted to sob, but there were no more tears in her that night. She turned the idea over and over in her mind, unsure why she hadn't realized it before.

Mamoru was only with her because she was the Moon Princess.

The dreams came, as they did every night. Endymion pulling Serenity into his arms, making love to her, worshiping her body with his own. Usagi tossed and turned, part of her mind wishing she could turn off the images. She woke early, as had become her new normal, and crept out of the bed carefully so she didn't disturb Luna, who had returned sometime during the night.

She pulled on jogging pants and a tank top and hopped out of her window, landing lightly on the grass as she jumped from the balcony a moment later. She took off running, starting slow to warm her body up. The darkness was a balm to her soul. The moon was low, ready to set as morning approached, and the breeze was gentle over her skin.

In moments like these she was happy. She told herself, yet again, that she was imagining how others felt about her, and how she felt about herself. That she was smarter and stronger than she believed, and that she was getting better every day. She knew, unfortunately, that by the time she laid down that night, those feelings would have disappeared again.

But alone in the moonlight she could feel her own power, her own strength. She even thought she was pretty in the moonlight, her skin faintly glowing, her hair appearing more silver than gold. And for a short time, she actually was happy. She was almost carefree.

The others might not realize it, but she knew danger was just around the corner. And so she pushed herself, morning, noon, and night, to be better than she had been the day before. And each morning she felt stronger, more in control. Unfortunately, no one else seemed to see the changes. If they did, they certainly never spoke about them.

More than a thousand years into the future, in a vastly different landscape, a young girl was crying, huddled against a crystal tomb. Inside lay the beautiful silver-haired queen. Her mother. She had done everything she could think of, but she was too young, too stupid, to know what to do. She lifted the crystal, held on a chain around her neck now, and looked at it. Part of her hoped someone would just tell her what to do.

She wished she could have been around when Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Kamen were saving the city from monsters day after day. Her favorite heroes would surely know how to save her mother and father. She sniffled, wiping the back of her hand over her nose, and wondered what she was going to do. She couldn't leave the palace or the bad people would come after her again. She was too small to fight them, and even if she could, she didn't know how.

The tears flowed easily. She bet Sailor Moon wouldn't cry. She'd know what to do. Oh how she wished there was someone out there, anywhere, who could really understand what it felt like to never be good enough. To never measure up to what other people thought of her. She looked over her shoulder and whimpered. "Mommy," her voice was a whisper, but still it echoed in the vast crystal chamber.

She suddenly couldn't stand the thought of being there for one more moment. She stood and raced away, Luna-P bouncing along behind her. She ran to the doorway Puu guarded, and opened it. The time Guardian turned and caught her up as she threw herself into her arms. "I can't take it! I just can't take it! I want my mommy!" She sobbed into her friend's shoulder.

Sailor Pluto, one of her favorite people in the whole Universe, held her while she cried. Puu loved her, and the Time Guardian understood how much she missed everyone. The green haired warrior knew how hard the past few months had been on the small child. She pulled her back slightly and wiped the tears away.

"You know I'm not supposed to break the rules right?" She asked quietly, looking the little one in the eye. When the pink-haired princess nodded, she set her down and knelt in front of the girl. "Something bad is going to happen, and because you are a member of the Royal Family, you are the only one I can let through."

Small Lady nodded, a new freshet of tears falling down her cheeks. "I know." She swiped the tears away, angry with herself for her weakness.

"I haven't told you where I'm sending you. There is someone you need to find, and she will help you save your mommy." Pluto smiled when the girl's eyes widened. "Sailor Moon can do this. You bring her back, but not until she's ready, okay?"

"How will I know who she is, or when to come back?" Small Lady's voice was quiet, and full of pain. "How long will I have to wait?"

"You'll know. I promise you, you'll know who Sailor Moon is, the minute you hear her name. You'll know when it's time too, because there will be a moment when it seems hopeless. When that moment comes, you call out to me, and I'll bring you back, with Sailor Moon, to save your mommy." She smiled and gave the girl another hug. "Are you ready?"