MP: Welcome back, story followers and curious newbies!

PA2: You know, you can just say "readers". Or "fans". Or...really anything less wordy.

MP: But our words are our art! Anyway, when we last left our heroes, they were in a place and situation that you can just look up in the previous chapter. We're authors, not narrators! What, you're too lazy to read the first part?

PA2: If we were narrators, we might actually make a buck off of this.

MP: Hey, you never know. We're living in the age of nostalgia, and revivals are becoming common. They need ideas.

PA2: And they're gonna come to random fanfic writers on for Season 6 ideas? All the published writers are on Ao3 or Wattpad now!

MP: It's about building a fanbase! If it gets big enough, it doesn't matter where it started! (Seriously, I'm only half-joking about this!)

PA2: Well, speaking of starting, let's get on with the show. Enjoy, everybody!

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Chapter 8: Agra-vation

The snake-bees nipped at Uncle's back as the old man bolted down the halls, moving faster than he had in a decade. Adrenaline was a powerful thing; under normal circumstances, he would've passed out by now, but the fear of a creature that can bite and sting at the same time is a powerful thing. He burst through the front door and leapt half his height as another, much larger swarm met him head-on. Desperately, he blasted at the swarm in front of him, creating just enough of a gap for him to tumble through into the garden.

It was a pity that Uncle wasn't as young as he used to be. Jackie would've sprung back up and kept running, or kept rolling as a ball. Uncle just fell and nearly sprained an ankle, then rolled to a stop, struggling to breathe as the wicked hybrids swarmed. "Stay back!" he ordered, raising his blowfish. "Uncle is warning you! Uncle is trained to use this!"

But he knew that it was an empty threat. There were thousands of them, and he could only shoot one at a time. Besides, he'd yet to actually nail one; their skinny bodies made it hard for him to land a hit.

Scruffy barked at the wicked creatures, but they simply responded by baring their fangs. Each of them eyed the dog and old man, ready to sink their fangs into their flesh.

The snake-bees dove over the two, and Uncle threw himself flat on the ground, pressing Scruffy with him. Scruffy struggled and whined, but Uncle still had enough strength for this and nothing more. He watched as the snake-bees turned around in midair and came down for another try. The old man braced himself and closed his eyes, but instead found himself being hoisted into the air, Scruffy still held tight in his arms.

Uncle chanced a look around, and found himself staring at a man's very broad back in a white linen jacket, being rushed out of the courtyard and through the front gates. Scruffy, once again oblivious to the impending danger, let out a cheerful bark. The snake-bees were following closely, and another, equally large man in matching clothing was running alongside them. They zigzagged to avoid their pursuers as an old, rusted-over car let out a honk. With a final burst of speed, the man carrying Uncle hurled himself forward, tumbling all over the old man and dog into the backseat of the vehicle.

"Who are you?!" Uncle demanded, trying to push the man off of himself. The man didn't answer, instead leaping off of Uncle and slamming the door. Soon after, the other large man tumbled through the front door and slammed it shut just in time for three snake-bees to break their stingers against the window. The creatures hissed and headbutted the glass, but the window held firm. The man in the driver's seat, who had the same clothing as the other two but was much skinnier, turned the key and the car revved to life. Uncle was thrown back against the torn leather interior as the car surged forward.

"Aiyah!" the old man cried, desperately trying to buckle his seat belt as Scruffy jumped onto his lap. "Tell Uncle who you are! Now!"

"Such ingratitude for his saviors," the man next to him said, shaking his head. For the first time, Uncle was able to get a good look at him. He had bushy black eyebrows over his sharp black eyes, and a well-trimmed mustache and goatee. A white turban covered his hair.

"Most likely, our mission is the same as your own." The other large man spoke this time. He looked similar to the first, but with a more brutal face with a flat nose, shaggy eyebrows over tiny, piggish eyes, and a round, flat-topped hat called a taqiyah. He, too, had a goatee, but it wasn't as well-trimmed.

Uncle gasped. "You came for the power of Hera!?" he demanded.

The man in the turban nodded. "We had been following you since the airport, hoping to find the power's location and interrupt before the forces of chaos could claim that magic. Clearly, we were too late. Maybe if we had not stopped on the way!" He snarled, swatting the hat off of the other large man in front of him.

"No man masters his body enough to resist nature's call forever!" The man in the taqiyah complained, retrieving his hat.

"Wet yourself for all I care! The fate of India is at stake!" Turban snapped. "Thanks to you, we arrived late and dangerous magic has fallen into the wrong hands!"

Uncle growled and gave both men a two-fingered smack. "Start explaining!" he ordered. "Who are you! What do you want with power of Hera!"

"Is that what it was?" Turban asked, raising an eyebrow. "We were simply told it was a source of powerful magic that needed to be retrieved."

"We are the disciples of Mohajah," the driver said, speaking for the first time. In the rearview mirror, Uncle could see he wore a bindi on his forehead over a sharp, narrow face somewhat like Kasahara's. "Sworn to protect India from dark magic in all of its forms. And, if we are not mistaken, you are the uncle of Jackie Chan. Is that correct?"

Hearing Jackie's name made Uncle flash back to having to abandon his nephew. It was only minutes ago, but with the chase, it felt like so much longer. The color draining from his face, the old man nodded.

"I take your silence as a sign that something has happened to him," Taqiyah said, taking on a softer tone. "You have my sympathies, but based on what little we have seen, we need all the help we can get. If you have backup, call them now."

Uncle sighed and handed Scruffy, who was still leaping and barking, to Turban, then reached into his pocket and pulled out his flip phone.

"That is your phone?!" Taqiyah gaped. "I heard you were an antique dealer, but I didn't think you used them!"

"I took a vow of poverty, and even I would be embarrassed to own such a relic," Turban agreed.

"Works perfectly well!" Uncle snapped, giving each of them a two-fingered strike. He didn't notice the yellow and black swarm approaching the car from behind.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Jade snapped her book closed in frustration and threw it across the room. "Seriously!?" she said to nobody in particular. "They just end this with the guy brainwashed into a mindless drone!? Who does that?!"

"I don't think there's a law about books having happy endings, kid," Finn sighed as he moved his mop beside her. "The book ain't a fairy tale."

"It's not about the happy ending, Finn. It's about the payoff!" Jade groaned, sinking into her seat. "You sit through a scene of a guy getting tortured, you want him to do something after! Go all Rambo on their butts! Instead we have the scene in the cafe and then it just ends! Fade to black! Just give me something a little more conclusive!"

"It was plenty conclusive," said a voice from behind. Jade groaned again and turned to face Prometheus. Hestia was beside him, and went to retrieve the book for her. "Just not in the way you wanted. But if you insist that this novel have a happy ending, then read the appendix."

"You mean the Newspeak essay?" Jade asked incredulously. "What about it?"

"Read it yourself, dear," Hestia said with a smile, handing the book back to her. It was even opened to the right page. "And pay attention to the wording. Molasses cookie?" she finished, holding out a plate of steaming confections.

"Fine, fine," Jade grumbled. She grabbed a cookie and stuffed it in her bag just to quiet the goddess as she began to read, only to halt suddenly and glare at the two deities. "Also, don't think that you two acting 'normal' changes anything about what happened earlier."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Prometheus chuckled, while Hestia sighed.

"I'm sensing terrible things right now," she said. "Hera's power has found a new host."

"I'm sure Jackie and the others will take care of it," Finn replied. "I mean, it's Jackie Chan for crying out loud!"

"Jackie Chan is still mortal," Prometheus pointed out. "Even the greatest of mortals can succumb to the power of the gods. Especially if it's Hera that we're dealing with."

"All the better for me to be out there and save his butt from getting whooped," said Jade, nose stuck in the appendix. "Ugh, this appendix is such a snooze fest!"

Just then, her phone rang. She reached for it, but Prometheus snatched it up.

"Jade Chan's phone," he said, giving Jade a stern glance as he tapped her book with one finger. Jade snarled and returned to reading.

"Prometheus!" Uncle's voice roared. The Titan of Forethought grimaced and held the phone at a distance. "Uncle has emergency!"

"Let me put you on speaker," Prometheus sighed. He set down the phone and tapped the screen, and Uncle's voice roared for all to hear.

"Hera's power has activated!" Uncle screamed, causing the phone to vibrate on the table. "Power is even greater than we expected!"

"Who got it?" Prometheus asked, sounding amused. "No, wait, let me guess: that old monk, right?"

"Titan of Foresight should stop being so smug and should start helping!" Uncle replied. "Zhixin has created swarm of monsters and captured Jackie and Tohru! Brainwashed them into his slaves!"

At that, Prometheus paused. "Oh. That's...not good," he muttered, stroking his chin. "I'd accounted for Tohru being controlled, but Jackie too?"

"Wait, hold up. What exactly do you mean by 'accounted for'?" Jade growled, tossing her book to the table.

"And if you were so sure it was going to happen, then why didn't you tell them more?" Finn, who was still in the corner with his mop, asked, prompting looks of surprise from the rest of the room. "What, I'm not allowed to ask questions?"

"No, I just forgot you were still here," Prometheus said bluntly.

"Hurtful," Chow said as he steamed up a latte at his stand.

"But par for the course," Ratso sighed as he bussed down a nearby counter, humming 'Mr. Cellophane' as he did.

"With how unnoticed we go, maybe we shouldbe agents, too," Finn observed.

Prometheus ignored them, turning to Jade instead. "I predict countless possibilities and usually go by the most likely," he said. "I'm not as good as I used to be, but I'm still very good. Point is, I foresaw plenty of futures where the power activates, most of them for Zhixin, and in just about all of them, Tohru gets brainwashed. Unfortunately, my predictions don't take themselves into account anymore."

"Meaning?" Jade asked, frowning.

"I can predict the future, but I can't predict how my predictions will change it," Prometheus summarized. "If I tell you about them, you may get cold feet, or work too hard to change the course of events, or any number of things. It's quite annoy-"

"Can we get back to Uncle!?" The phone nearly flew off the table from the force of Uncle's voice.

"Yeah, back to what's actually important," Jade agreed. "Uncle, is Scruffy okay?"

"Scruffy is fine!" Uncle snapped. Indeed, they could hear him barking in the background. Jade sighed with relief. "But Uncle needs help!"

"Absolutely," Hestia told him, her voice calm and reassuring, "but first we're going to need more information. Where exactly are you right now?"

Just then, there was a loud thump, followed by an angry scream.

"And what was that!?"

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

The car didn't even stop as an Indian man slammed into the car's hood and bounced back, smacking the windshield before he was sent flying. In the moment before he went out of sight, Uncle saw a third eye on his forehead.

"What in the world!?" Taqiyah gasped, when suddenly their car was jostled from his side. A pair of locals, a man and a woman, were tackling the car. Both had eyes on their foreheads, as well. As Bindi expertly swerved the car away from them, they got a look around them. Snake-bees were everywhere, swooping down and biting the locals. Every victim went silent and gained a third eye. A mob of them gathered, surrounding the car and tackling.

"Surrender, wizard!" they said in unison. "There is no escape!"

"Uncle, what's going on!?" Jade demanded from the phone.

"Keep talking!" Taqiyah told the old man. "We'll handle this!"

The driver nodded and revved the engine, smashing through the mob as gently as he could. He sped off, but the thralls followed, sprinting alongside the vehicle. With a grunt, Taqiyah rolled down his window and, holding the roof of the car, swung himself out and onto the roof in a move that even Jackie would have to respect. He stood on one leg in a yoga pose before cracking his knuckles and punching away the civilians. His blows were nonlethal, but the people went flying. During all of this, Uncle continued to explain the situation as quickly as he could.

As the thralls surged forward, blocking the car's path, Taqiyah swung his fists to repel them, rolling along the car's hood. Snake-bees swarmed and swooped, but he expertly dodged them, jumping back onto the trunk as the car shot forward. But the creatures weren't finished. They came down on a pair of civilians, a nice-looking pair of young women, about college-aged, and jabbed their stingers hard. Immediately afterwards, the snake-bees fell down, dead, but Uncle and the others hardly noticed, staring at their victims. The duo screamed and clutched their punctures as their flesh turned blue. Third eyes appeared on their foreheads, and their muscles swelled, turning them into lopsided monstrosities. Their fingernails sharpened into lethal claws, and their feet grew until they burst out of their shoes. The pair leapt at the car, which inched out of the way just in time, but they just pounced again. Taqiyah swung his arms and repelled them, retreating to the top of the car again as they gained ground, climbing up onto the trunk.

"He needs help!" Turban muttered, reaching for the window controls, but Bindi tapped the window controls and child locks, trapping him inside. "What are you doing, Manish?" he demanded.

"Gautama can handle himself," the driver, Manish, replied. "There is not enough room for two atop this car. Besides, our mission is not to eliminate the thralls, but to transport the old man. Right now, Jitendra, your only job is to keep the Chi wizard safe. Let others handle the fighting for now."

The man in the turban, Jitendra, scowled and crossed his arms, but sat back in his seat as he listened to the struggle.

Atop the car, Gautama ducked one set of claws and kicked out above him. One mutated woman went flying directly into another, and the yoga master gave one good push to send them both careening back into the road. There was no time to celebrate, though, as a dozen snake-bees approached from above. Gautama noticed just in time and rolled away as they swooped, grabbing the roof and throwing himself back into the car. The snake-bees followed, and just as he was pressing the button to roll up the window, one swooped down. The window just barely avoided closing right on its tail, and the creature lunged, ready to bite. Gautama cringed, but there was nowhere to go as the beast seemed to come down in slow motion.

Then, with a cheerful bark, Scruffy jumped up and tackled the snake-bee, bashing it against the window. The sound of breaking bones filled the car as the creature's body squirmed for a moment, before dropping like a limp windsock. Panting happily, Scruffy turned to settle into Gautama's lap, only to yelp as the snake-bee's body, its reflexes still intact, embedded its stinger into Scruffy's leg.

"Aiyah!" Uncle screamed again.

"What?" Jade's voice came from the phone. "What's happening? Is Scruffy okay!?"

"Dog is fine!" Uncle lied, urging Gautama to do something as Scruffy began to swell in size. "No need to worry!"

Gautama raised a scraggly eyebrow and stared as the little dog's teeth grew. A third eye blossomed on Scruffy's forehead, and he snarled and writhed in the yogi's hands. Desperate, the yogi flung open his door and threw the dog out, where Scruffy continued his transformation. He grew to the size of a grizzly bear, his fur turning an ugly charcoal. He let loose a howl and charged the car as Manish gunned the engine.

The car sped forward, but Scruffy soon caught up, lunging at the bumper and biting down with enough force to tear the metal..

"We need to shake him!" Manish shouted, his angular features streaked with sweat.

"Roll down Uncle's window!" the old wizard demanded. Manish raised an eyebrow, but complied.

Uncle shed a single tear for his great niece's pet as he raised his blowfish and fired a blast at her beloved dog. What was once Scruffy yelped and whined as the blast caught him in the face and sent him rolling back in the uneven road, but he recovered and kept chasing. A couple more blasts, though, and the dog was slowed enough to give them breathing room. Then they turned a few sharp corners and Scruffy was out of sight. Despite the shabbiness of the vehicle, without the monstrous dog at their heels, the old car finally escaped the horde and zoomed away, safe for the moment.

"Are you safe, dear?" Hestia asked, Uncle somehow having managed to keep the phone the whole time.

"We are approaching our base," Manish announced as they sped through the city. The neighborhood was much poorer than the ones they'd visited, filled with broken windows and dark alleys. "And the monsters have stopped following. I think we are in the clear - for now, at least."

"I doubt it'll last that long," Jitendra said, scowling. "At the rate the influence is spreading, it will reach us sooner rather than later. Especially with those abominations patrolling the city."

"We must hurry!" Uncle demanded. The car stopped in front of a particularly ramshackle house, and all of the passengers darted out. They ran directly into the domicile, covering as much of themselves as they could and spending less than ten seconds outside.

"Seriously, Uncle," Jade's voice rang out. "What happened to Scruffy?!"

"Nothing that cannot be undone by depowering koan-spouting monk!" Uncle snapped. "Now, let Uncle work!"

"Yogi Mohajah will know what to do," Jitendra huffed. "He is wise beyond all, the greatest mystic in the world!"

"Wait, 'Mohajah?'" Jade cried as a memory of the last time in India came back to her. "I know that guy! He couldn't even hang on to a tiny relic! Uncle Jackie and I had to keep it out of the Ganges!"

"Silence, child!" Gautama growled. "Yogi Mohajah is our only hope of undoing this spread of wicked magic!"

"And yet, I cannot fault the girl for her skepticism," came a calm, accented voice, ringing throughout the room. "Our showing the last time we met was, perhaps, less than inspiring."

As Uncle looked around for the source, a man exited the nearest door. He wasn't much to look at; quite short and likely older than Uncle, he had a grey mustache and beard, and thin but very long eyebrows. His hair was hidden beneath a turban, bigger than Jitendra's, and with a strip of red cloth dangling down. Despite his age, he moved with grace and ease, and his eyes belied a peaceful and steady spirit. "Greetings," the man said, bowing in Uncle's direction. "I am Mohajah. We have not met in person, but I have had the...pleasure of meeting your mind. If I am not mistaken, your name is-"

"Names not important!" Uncle snapped. "Can old yogi help Uncle or not?"

"Show some respect!" Manish snapped, glaring at Uncle. "Yogi Mohajah-"

"Is quite capable of speaking for himself, thank you Manish," Mohajah said, calmly. "Like I said, your skepticism is understandable. It is, however, entirely useless, so kindly let it rest. Besides, we only have so long before your grandniece's pet leads those creatures right to our door."

"Before he does what, now?!" Jade cried out.

"Jade, please!" Prometheus snapped. From the sounds that rang out, there was clearly a scuffle going on, ending in the Titan seizing the phone. "Alright, whoever you are. What makes you think you can be of assistance to us? What mortal is prepared to face the power of a Greek god?"

"I am of an ancient and powerful order, Titan," Mohajah replied, still maddeningly calm. "A group of mystics, masters of both the martial arts, and the magic ones. This order stretches back for millennia, and we have dealt with your ilk before."

"Wait a minute," came Hestia's voice. "You mean your order were the ones to-"

"Stop the conquest of your debauched wine god?" Mohajah interrupted. "Indeed."

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"What's he talking about?" Jade asked, looking up at the two deities.

"When Dionysus, God of Wine, was no more than a teenager, he amassed a cult of followers and tried to spread his reign on earth," Hestia explained. "They marched across the continent, gaining greater and greater numbers, until they reached India. But, surprisingly, a large number of local mystics and shamans repelled his forces with styles of magic the nascent god had never seen."

"It was the first victory of mankind over the gods," Prometheus added, giving a respectful nod. "Olympus struck back with plagues, but India stayed a strong country."

"And our records of that conflict were meticulously maintained," Mohajah added. "I cannot claim their level of power, but my strength is more than sufficient for dealing with this pretender."

"This is no pretender, mystic," Prometheus growled. "With this power infusing him, he may as well be the goddess Hera reborn."

"There's an ugly image," Jade said with a wince.

"What's more," Prometheus went on, ignoring Jade, "to command this many mortals and creatures, he must be using another god's power in concert. That makes him even more deadly."

"Take a weapon from a soldier and hand it to a novice, and they are still a pretender," Mohajah said, seemingly unfazed by Prometheus's frustration. "The monk may have godly power, but he lacks Hera's focus, her knowledge, her sheer will. He wields her magic sloppily...although I must admit, that does make him all the more dangerous. I am not diminishing his threat; only his importance."

"All of that can change if he is left unchecked," Hestia warned. "And keep in mind, Dionysus was one thing; Hera is something else entirely, both in power and motive. Not only was Dionysus merely a demigod at the time, this place would have been hardly more than a footnote in his drunken conquest. Hera, meanwhile, is queen of the gods, and wants this country for all that it represents."

"Be more specific!" Uncle snapped. "Annoying deities are talking in riddles!"

"India is a collection of everything that Hera loved: rigid social castes, arranged marriages with strong disapproval of divorce, and an enormous number of very spiritual citizens, eager for a god on earth," Hestia continued, ignoring Uncle's outburst. "Furthermore, so many of her symbols are revered: the cow, the peacock, the lotus…"

"Hera-palooza, got it," Jade snapped, "but we gotta do something! That old creep has Uncle Jackie, Big T, and my pooch!"

"And indeed, we shall," Prometheus said. "Uncle, do you still have that vial I gave you?"

"Yes, Uncle still has it!" Uncle snapped. "Made for very uncomfortable car ride! Should not have kept it in back pocket..."

"Right," said Prometheus, rolling his eyes. "Look, I'm going to need you to smash it on the floor on my signal."

"And what is in vial?" Uncle asked, a note of condescension in his voice. "Purification spell? Protective shield?"

"It's a bottled portal," Prometheus groaned. "It's how I got to you back when this whole mess started; I had one rigged to activate as soon as someone did that ritual. They're tricky, complicated, and the ingredients are hard to come by nowadays, but I had a feeling that it would come in handy today."

"Yes, I can see why you would have difficulty. Fresh mandrake root is hard to come by," Mahajah interjected.

"How did you-?"

"Power of the mind. That said, let us move with haste. I feel warped presences on the edge of my perception."

"That means they're about a mile away," Manish clarified.

"Impressive. Few yogis have a range that far," Hestia mused. "I'll get Captain Black; he'll gather a task force and-" she continued, before being interrupted by the sound of shattering glass coming over the phone. Almost at the same time, a massive swirling disk of fire emerged in front of Prometheus, who glared at the phone.

"I told you to wait for my signal!" he growled. "This thing only lasts about a minute!"

"The dog just burst through the door and bit the old man's arm!" Jitendra replied. "He had to drop it!"

"Ugh, of course," Prometheus grumbled, shoving his hands into his coat pockets. "Figures that this is what ended up happening...now where are they...ah!" He pulled his hands out triumphantly, clutching two golden bands that shone with an otherworldly brilliance.

"Wait, what are-?" Jade started to ask, before Prometheus unceremoniously grabbed her backpack, shoved the bands in, and thrust it into her arms.

"Talk later!" he snapped, and with a single shove, pushed her through the portal right as it was beginning to close.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Back at Mahajah's base, just as the portal was disappearing, Jade was vomited screaming out of it, flying across the room. Luckily, she was able to adjust her trajectory, allowing her to land with both feet planted on a wall before flipping onto the ground.

The house was a whirlwind of activity. Gautama and Jitendra were currently attempting to block the door with their bodies, key word being "attempting". The doors were already all but off their hinges, and a mass of groping hands was currently shoving them backwards. Manish, meanwhile, was attempting to dislodge a monstrous Scruffy from Uncle's right arm with a series of precise blows to the back of the dog's neck. Lastly, Mahajah looked to be in a meditative trance, his body going through the motions of a complex martial arts form while his eyes were firmly fixed on the door.

The struggle against the door was calmed for a moment, and Gautama and Jitendra were able to force it shut and lock it, then turned their attention to Scruffy. The three acolytes leapt upon the beast and struck at his sides, and Scruffy released Uncle to growl and snap at them. The massive dog-beast snarled and moved in, but the trio jumped back just in time. Slinging her bag onto her back, Jade then jumped forward and slapped Scruffy across the nose. "Bad dog!" Jade ordered. "Sit!"

Scruffy howled and charged his master, pinning her under a paw as he leered down, a line of saliva dripping down onto her face. "Uh...please?" Jade begged.

A second later, Scruffy was knocked off of his feet as Jitendra, Gautama, and Manish tackled him from the side. "A valiant effort, child," Jitendra said as they tried to hold Scruffy against the wall, "but such magic is not easily overcome, especially by lesser minds."

There was a grunt of anguish, and Mohajah fell to the floor, as if pushed by an invisible hand. The banging on the door resumed; great thumps, as if the thralls were all attacking at once. "I'm sorry!" Mohajah apologized. "I cannot hold them for long! There are too many, and they still have their minds!"

"You need to retreat!" Prometheus told them. Uncle paused. He had forgotten that he was still on the line. "Wherever you are, you're in no shape to fight!"

Jade scampered over to the window. She could see a car on the street. Based on the pops and squeals she'd heard over the phone, the old jalopy had to be what the acolytes had driven. Her hands flew to the pane, trying to open it, but it was stuck fast.

Just then, the door burst off its hinges and a troop of brainwashed minions rushed in, both regular and raging. Uncle and Mohajah moved to try and hold them off, each striking a martial arts pose (though from completely different styles) as Uncle whipped out his blowfish. All the while, Scruffy snarled and barked.

Jade's eyes flashed to her dog. Desperate, she reached into her bag. With a smile, she clutched Hestia's cookie and held it up high. "Oh, Scruffy~!" she called. "Who wants a cookie? Yum-yum, cookie! So tasty!"

The hulking beast stopped barking as his eyes snapped to the treat in Jade's hand. With a howl, he launched himself at her, eager to snap it up, but Jade sidestepped just in time, sending Scruffy to crash his head straight through the window.

"Sorry boy!" Jade said, tearing up a bit as broken glass cascaded around Scruffy's dazed form. Luckily (or very unluckily) he was only stunned, and quickly removed himself from the gaping hole in the wall. He turned and bared his teeth at Jade, but she held the cookie high again, this time throwing it directly into the center of the troop of thralls. Scruffy took off after it, knocking down the slaves, and Jade grabbed Uncle's hand. "Everybody out!" she cried, leaping through the hole.

Uncle groaned as he hit the ground, but Jade yanked him to his feet and let the others follow. Ducking a swarm of snake-bees, they dashed to the car and threw open the doors, jumping in and slamming them shut as the thralls poured out, now aided by the airborne serpents/insects as they pounded the car from all sides. Manish, back in the driver's seat, locked the car up tight, but the enemy forces just kept attacking.

"We're trapped!" Gautama howled as the car started to rock.

"Master, what do we do?" Jitendra asked. There was a loud crack as a snake-bee threw itself against the windshield.

"Do not panic," Mohajah warned, struggling to speak from his position squished between his two largest followers. "Collect yourselves. As long as we live, we can fight."

"Ai-yah!" Uncle cried from the front seat. "That is best advice great yogi can give?!" He reached out to give Mohajah a two-fingered strike, but the old yogi caught his wrist and delivered a two-fingered strike of his own. "Ow! How did-?"

"I knew you'd been wanting to do that," Mohajah said with a smirk, tapping his temple. "Power of the mind."

"Speaking of that, Uncster, how did you escape from Zhixin?" Jade asked, eyeing the old man.

Uncle stopped rubbing his forehead and stared. "Uncle ran while Jackie held him off," he said.

"Yeah, I get that. But he didn't even tell you to stop? Everyone obeys him, right?"

Uncle thought back to that moment when Zhixin gave him an order. "Uncle...started to stop," he realized, "but kept running."

"The old man has stronger willpower than Jackie or Tohru," Prometheus explained, his voice filling the car. "It gave him more resistance. To defeat the power of Hera, you'll have to keep up your own mental strength."

"You're still on the line?" Jade gasped, amazed as she grabbed Uncle's phone.

"Yes, and it's going to cost the old man a fortune," Prometheus replied. Jade swore she could actually hear the titan's eyes roll. "He forgot to set up an international plan. Anyway, I can't tell you too much thanks to Hestia, so I'll just give you some advice: figure out exactly what you need to do, then get what you need to do it. Understand?"

"Not at all," Jade answered. "Those are the most generic, non-indicative instructions you could've possibly given."

"Well, guess that's just too bad. Looks like the Party wins this one." The phone clicked off.

"Jerk," Jade muttered. There was a ping, and a new text message popped up. GUILTY!, followed by an emoji sticking out its tongue. "Ugh, okay, what do we need?"

"Must remove power of Hera from annoying old man," Uncle replied. "Already have spell ready, but need symbol of goddess: something from plant or animal sacred to her."

"Hestia said those were the peacock, the cow, and the lotus," Jade said, reeling a little as the car continued to rock. "I don't suppose you guys have something like that?" she asked, turning to Mohajah and his acolytes.

"Actually, yes," Mohajah answered. He reached into his turban and pulled out a slightly wilted lotus blossom. "The scent aids in my meditations, but I believe this would be a far nobler purpose."

"That's convenient but whatever," Jade muttered. "Next problem: We gotta get to the old man. Alive and uncontrolled."

"That will be slightly more difficult," Manish groaned, frantically jerking the wheel back and forth. The car swayed slightly, but the crowd of thralls was too dense for him to get the car moving. "The monk is amassing more and more slaves by the minute, and those monstrous serpents could easily enslave us, as well."

"Indeed, the venom of those abominations the monk created is our greatest problem," Jitendra agreed.

"Uncle," Jade said. "Think you can whip up some magic protection from those things?"

"In shaking car?!" Uncle howled, but he pulled out his bag of ingredients and started dumping tincture of tortoise shell, rat teeth, and olive oil into the mix. "Ugh, Uncle will try."

"There is another factor to consider," Mohajah interjected. "When I entered the minds of those thralls earlier, I was able to gain some interesting insight. Despite still holding wills of their own, all of the minds under the monk's control are not only tied together, but also stretch back to a singular originating point."

"In English, please," Jade groaned.

"The monk can see and hear everything his slaves do," Mohajah clarified. "Presumably his stolen powers keeps the accumulated information from obliterating his sense of self."

"And this is helpful how?" Jade asked, rolling her eyes. "We knew he was messing with their heads already."

"Yes, but now we know we can actually reach the monk through his thralls," Jitendra said. "If we capture one, perhaps Yogi Mohajah-"

But the old yogi shook his head. "It would take too long to reach his mind from such a distant connection," he said. "And even if I could, he could just as easily overpower me. If he obtains access to my senses, let alone my will, the world will be in even graver peril."

"Well, that's good to know at least," Jade said, wincing as a particularly abrupt movement pressed her backpack into her back. "Ugh, what'd Prometheus even put in here?" she asked, taking it off and opening it. As she did, the bright shine of gold illuminated the car.

"Gah! Bright light very bad for Uncle's concentration!" Uncle snapped. But Jade ignored him, her attention fixed on the contents of the backpack.

"Are those…?" she mused, before her eyes lit up. "Wait, these are perfect! Uncle, keep mixing! I think I've got a plan - but it's a risky one, and I don't have time to explain."

"I can read minds, child. I see your idea," Mohajah said, calmly. "Indeed, it is quite risky. But at the moment, it is the best plan we have."

At that moment, Scruffy burst through the wall of the safehouse and dashed through the thralls, crashing into the side of the car. The vehicle nearly flipped over from the impact, and Uncle nearly lost his entire potion. "Aiyah!" he howled as he dumped robins' eggshells into the brew. "You want protective potion? Yes? Then buy Uncle more time!"

"Gimme the blowfish, then!" Jade snapped. She seized the fish and rolled down a window, firing blasts in all directions. The rocking stopped for a few moments, but the thralls and Scruffy kept coming back. There were dozens of them on all sides now, all vying to get in.

A puff of green smoke filled the car. "Hot cha!" Uncle yelled. "Uncle thinks he has it. But was rush job. Might not work."

"Gotta take the chance," Jade told him. "Cover us up!"

Uncle nodded and ladled up potion, throwing it at all six people in the car, soaking their clothes and skin. "Now what?"

"Now we get out and fight! Come on, this is our last stand!"

The doors clicked unlocked and all four flew open, sending thralls reeling back. Manish, Gautama, and Jitendra leapt out, punching and kicking their way through the crowd. Jade was right behind them, kicking at shins and groins, and anything else to bring down as many as possible. Uncle took his blowfish back from Jade and blasted away, while Mohajah dodged and weaved through the crowd, moving almost as if he had no bones at all. His strikes seemed weak at first, but every thrall he hit collapsed to the ground, completely paralyzed.

Snake-bees swooped down, attracted by the frenzy of combat, but Uncle's magic balm proved successful. Much like bug spray, the ointment made them undetectable to the creatures, twisting their senses and sending them flying in circles. For a while, it seemed that the six might actually have a chance, but the thralls kept coming, and when Scruffy joined the fight, it was all but over. The dog-beast tackled and stomped, cutting off all escape, and the last resistance in Agra disappeared in a swarm of bodies.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"Did you fools think you could actually oppose me?" Zhixin sneered as he paced before the six, his tail unfurled to its fullest length. After their defeat, Jade and the others had been restrained by thralls and dragged all the way back to the main chamber of the Taj Mahal, where Zhixin had commandeered several thralls for form a human throne. Jackie and Tohru stood on either side, their faces completely blank even as Zhixin continued to taunt. "That a few mere mortals could ever hope to topple the power of a god, let alone their queen?"

"Uh...kinda?" Jade answered with a forced smile. She had stopped struggling, her jacket dangling from Scruffy's clenched jaws.

"You are but insects before me," Zhixin continued. "No, lower! Thanks to the power of Aristaeus, god of beekeeping, even the insects know to bow before me."

"Ah, so that is how you were able to control so many minds," Mohajah said calmly. "It explains the rigid structure of their thought patterns; you created a literal 'hive mind'."

"Must annoying old monk always go on and on?" Uncle scoffed. "What is point of bragging about the powers of bee god?"

"Will you people be silent for once in your miserable lives?!" Zhixin snapped, the gem on his ferronnière glowing brightly. In an instant, Uncle and Mohajah's mouths snapped shut, causing them to wince. However, a moment later, they were able to reopen them.

"Hm...it seems your power is weaker than you thought," Mohajah mused. "Against wills as strong as ours, a command like that is easily ignored."

"Only for now, yogi. Only for now," Zhixin hissed. "Besides, would you be so confident if you felt the full force of my mind bearing down on yours? The entire city of Agra took next to no effort; you will barely be more of a challenge."

"That's what the bad guy always says," Jade snarked. "It never works. Why don't you ask that army of Shadowkhan blocking out the sun? Oh, wait. You can't."

Zhixin let out an exasperated growl. "Ancient wisdom," he snarled. "The cornered rat should know when to surrender to the cat. You would be wise to hold that tongue of yours. After all, what I cannot control, I shall destroy! It just remains to be seen which category you fall into, brat."

"Indian proverb" Mohajah mused. "To control the mind is like trying to control a drunken monkey that has been bitten by a scorpion. My forebears were right in their descriptions of the gods. Petty and overconfident."

"My confidence is spot-on, mystic. And you will be my key to world conquest when you help me infiltrate more minds than ever before! The irony! The last remnants of the sect that repelled Dionysus, now helping Hera conquer the globe!"

"Enough with the Bond villain monologue!" Jade snapped. "Seriously, do you ever stop talking? No wonder your friends ditched you in Sweden; they must've been thrilled that you'd been shut up for once!"

"Silence, whelp!" Zhixin howled. The gem on his ferronnière flashed once again, and for a moment Jade's mouth clamped shut, but she soon ripped it open again. In fact, she did it even faster than Uncle and Mohajah had done.

"Sorry, bub. I'm awful at listening to people; just ask Uncle Jackie," Jade snarked.

"True," Zhixin mused, "you do have a particularly strong resistance to the powers of Hera. Not to mention, I still have months of misery inside that accursed Lotus Temple that I have you to thank for…"

"Wouldn't that only be a few days, since it only exists on nights of the full moon?" Jade asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You think you're so clever, don't you? Zhixin sneered. "But you've made a fatal error. You've given me no reason to keep you alive," he continued, the eyespots on his feathers glowing as he concentrated power within them. "If I cannot make you my thrall, I will reduce you to ash! Any last words?"

"Yeah!" Jade shot back with a grin. "Scritchy-scratchy!"

Zhixin was taken aback. "Uh...what?"

With a flash of light, two new arms reached out from Jade's hoodie and reached up to scratch Scruffy behind the ears. The dog moaned in delight, and with the strength of four arms, Jade pried his jaws open and escaped. In a flash, she had batted the hands of the thralls holding her companions aside, freeing each of them in turn.

Zhixin stared at them, aghast. "This can't...but how?! How could you wield such-" he began, only to stop short when he noticed something around the wrists of Jade's original arms: a pair of golden bangles. "Those bracelets…"

"Oh, you recognize them? Guess that 'ancient wisdom' is good for something after all," Jade sneered, flexing with all four arms. "But I don't think you'll be able to beat the Armbands of Shiva with a mangled metaphor or two."

"Can't believe old man decided to rummage through Uncle's closets!" Uncle griped. "Uncle's home is off-limits to meddling Titans!"

"Still, his choice is much appreciated," Mohajah said, stretching out in order to recover from the confinement. "It was a yogi of my sect who forged those bands in the first place; which makes me uniquely suited to tuning them. A few minor adjustments, and they work better than they ever had."

Zhixin gritted his teeth and glared at the old mystic. "Forget using you for conquest," he growled. "I need to make an example. Kill them all!" he ordered his slaves, his gem flashing bright.

"Uncle, the removal spell!" Jade shouted. Uncle nodded and pulled out the chi-o-matic, along with a bottle of potion and Mohajah's lotus pod. Just as he did, though, Zhixin fired a blast and vaporized the flower. "Oh...that's unfortunate," Jade said with a grimace.

"Ai-yaah! Why does this keep happening?!" Uncle screeched.

"Worry about it later! I'll take the monk!" Mohajah announced. "The rest of you handle the thralls!"

"Dibs on Scruffy and Uncle Jackie!" Jade cried, kicking aside a pair of slaves to reach her uncle.

"Uncle will take care of wayward former apprentice!" Uncle added, blasting another pair away to get to Tohru.

"Which leaves us...the entire population of Agra," Manish groaned, as he and his fellow disciples began tearing through thralls.

The Taj had never before and would never again see such chaos as so many people fighting their way across its grounds and through its halls. Manish, Gautama, and Jitendra did their best to form a blockade and keep thralls from slipping through to their master as they spun and punched, ducking and weaving the many blows thrown at them. At the same time as they were desperately trying to fight them back onto the grounds, the snake-bees were buzzing all around; Uncle's ointment still protected them, but the sheer density of people occasionally pushed them into each other. Whenever this happened, the three took immediate action to dislodge the deadly creature, but each time forced them back further.

"The girl and the old man better be having as hard a time as us right now!" Jitendra growled as he grappled with one of the young women first mutated by the snake-bee bites.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"I don't wanna hurt ya, Uncle Jackie! I really don't!" Jade snarled. Jackie gave no reply, simply dashing forward and twisting his wrist for a devastating punch. Jade ducked it just in time, and it instead struck Scruffy behind her, sending the monster dog skidding back. Scruffy howled and charged, but Jade backflipped underneath the pooch as it skidded into Jackie, then grabbing his tail with all four hands and pulling. Scruffy yelped and instinctively bit down on the nearest thing - Jackie's arm. Jackie cried out in agony as he beat the beast around the head and neck with his remaining arm, and Scruffy released him, leaving behind holes that dripped blood onto the polished tiles of the floor.

"Okay…" Jade continued, grimacing. "This isn't the best proof of that. But come on! You gotta fight this! Just focus!"

Jackie bared his teeth in response, the third eye on his forehead flashing as he threw himself at Jade. Jade jumped up just as he hit the floor, sliding down the tile, and then came down with a foot directly on his spine. "You're better than this! Better than that monk! Come on! Gimme all you got! Tell him to get out of your head!"

Jackie pushed off the floor, sending Jade flying, then popped back up just in time to catch Jade, holding her by her hoodie. Jade stared at him in disbelief as he wrapped a hand around her throat.

Meanwhile, Uncle flung himself aside as Tohru charged him, just barely avoiding a collision comparable to a pickup truck hitting a brick wall as Tohru slammed into the crowd of thralls. For good measure, Uncle blasted him in the back, but the giant shook it off and turned back for another go.

"Student thinks he's become master, so no need for Uncle, eh?!" Uncle snapped, diving away from another charge. "Ungrateful! Who took you in after mercenary friends kicked you out?"

Tohru gave no visual response to the taunting, instead attempting to drag Uncle into a grapple. The old man managed to duck under his encircling arms and roll to the side, blasting at the sumo with his blowfish.

"Put roof over your head! Gave you bed, job, and food! So much food! And still you turn on Uncle?!"

Tohru growled, but said nothing as he began throwing punches. Uncle ducked low to avoid them, but there was an audible crack from the old man's spine. Uncle cried out in pain, but kept moving.

"But Uncle is no fool! Did not take in known criminal without knowing a few of his weaknesses! Remember how Uncle sprays for bugs?"

Scowling, Uncle raised a foot and slammed it down onto Tohru's much larger one. The giant howled in pain and began hopping on one foot, his injured foot's sandal flying off and striking the wall. Uncle fired another blast and Tohru toppled, the shockwave of his fall throwing everybody into the air. Zhixin was momentarily distracted, and Mohajah took the opportunity to deliver a crane kick, but Zhixin flattened himself and let it pass over, then righted himself and roundhouse kicked the old master.

As Jackie stumbled, Jade took the opportunity to wriggle free from Jackie's grip, throwing a few punches, but Jackie caught her by the wrist and lifted her back into the air. He stared at the bands on her wrists, and his two natural eyes narrowed. With what appeared to be great difficulty, he opened his mouth to speak. "What...have I told you...about playing with magic?!" he demanded. Before she could answer, his lightning-fast hands had ripped the bands from her and tossed them away - directly in front of Zhixin.

With a laugh, Zhixin seized the relics and snapped them on. Two new arms extended from his robe, making him look eerily similar to the image of a Hindu god on a nearby tapestry. He charged up four simultaneous blasts and fired. Beads of sweat fell as Mohajah sprung upward and twisted his limbs around his torso, performing an exceptionally difficult horizontal midair Bharadvaja's Twist pose that saved him by about a quarter of an inch.

"Your weekend hobbies will not save you from my godly might!" Zhixin howled as he charged up again, this time adding another four blasts from his eyespots. Mohajah gave no reply, but focused the entirety of his mind's strength on penetrating Zhixin's thoughts. His only hope to stay alive now was to keep predicting the monk's moves, dodging them until an opportunity arose.

As all this occurred, Jade gave Jackie a thoughtful look. His glare was angry, but something else was there. Something...paternal. Authoritative, even. With a smile, a new idea came to her. An idea that let her do what she did best. She went slack and slipped out of her hoodie, landing on the floor before Jackie. She dodged his fists as she grabbed an antique fan from the wall. "Hey, Jackie!" she laughed. "I'm touching the antiques!"

Jackie fumed and sprinted towards her. Scruffy lunged, too, but Jade dodged them both, and tore up the fan in front of him. "Oops!" Jade smirked. "I broke it!"

"Don't...touch!" Jackie moaned.

As they fought, Tohru returned to his feet, but began treading more lightly as he continued his attempts to catch his master. Uncle's weaving had slowed as well, but his anger was only growing stronger. The old man tapped into his kung fu skills as he struck at Tohru's wrists, knocking the giant's enormous mitts away. One strike got by, though, and Uncle went flying, but he retaliated with a blast to Tohru's face that sent the giant stumbling backwards.

As this happened, Jackie went for Jade again. Jade ducked through his legs and started drilling her shoe into the tile floor.

"I'm getting the floor dirty, too!" she yelled. "AND I'M USING MY OUTDOOR VOICE!"

Jackie's face began changing color, turning a fresh red, then purple as he tackled his niece, pinning her to the floor. When they hit, the nearby Tohru stumbled, his tender toe hitting the floor. He yelped in pain and was hit by one of Zhxin's blasts that missed its mark. He fell backwards, his mammoth behind narrowly missing Jackie's legs.

"Come on, Jackie!" Jade begged as her uncle pinned her arms to her sides. Jackie didn't answer, but began to squeeze. Jade could feel the pressure on her arms. They would buckle soon. "Zhixin's not in charge! You are! Don't let anybody make you feel powerless! And remember: I'm supposed to be grounded!"

Jackie's eyes flashed at these words. He heaved a few deep breaths, saying nothing. He gritted his teeth and closed his eyes, the pressure clearly building. He dropped Jade, his hands flying to his head. The eye on his forehead went wide, then vanished. Exhausted, Jackie slumped down with a long sigh.

"Heh," Jade laughed. "Nothing gets an adult riled up like a naughty kid. Welcome back, Jack...ie."

"Thank you," Jackie panted. "But we are not out of the woods yet!" He pointed to Zhixin, who was still firing away at Mohajah. Every moment the battle extended, Zhixin increased his number of shots; at this point more than half his tail had turned into a magical artillery canon. The old yogi was executing all sorts of moves to avoid him (frog pose, camel pose, yoga headstand pose), but he was tiring. His body flowed like water, but he was sweating buckets from the strain.

Worse, by this point Zhixin had noticed that Jackie had escaped his control and turned two hands and multiple feathers on the archaeologist and his niece. He didn't even deviate from fighting Mohajah, putting the mental division granted by Aristaeus to deadly use. As he fired, Jackie used what was left of his strength, combined with Jade and Uncle, to haul Tohru to his feet to intercept the blast. Tohru slammed into a wall, pinning Scruffy behind him.

"Ancient wisdom," the monk growled. "Whatever the damage to the hive, the swarm shall rebuild."

"Uh...what?" Jade asked, giving Zhixin a funny look. "I mean, I know what you're getting at, but...what?"

"Some things never change! Old monk terrible at metaphors!" Uncle scoffed, turning his nose up at Zhixin.

"Never question my wisdom!" Zhixin snarled. "If I say two plus two equals five, then that shall become the truth! And now I say that you will never escape this place alive! Either submit as my slaves or die here! Lest you forget, you have nothing to fuel your removal spell!"

"You didn't return with something?" Jackie demanded, turning to Uncle with a pained expression. Snake-bees began dive-bombing him, but Jackie ducked and wove through them, eventually standing on one hand and spinning to repel them with his feet.

"Of course we did!" Jade snapped. "But it got destroyed!"

Jackie flipped back to his feet. "There must be something!" he insisted. "What were Hera's symbols again?"

"Lotus flowers, peacocks, and cows!" Mohajah cried over his shoulder, still dodging Zhixin's blasts.

The crowd began to converge around the group, surging through Mohajah's followers and surrounding Jackie's family on all sides. Tohru moved in on the family, and Jackie threw himself forward to stop the giant. As he did, he spied Tohru's bare foot. With split-second timing, Jackie retreated from the giant and spied Tohru's lost shoe by the wall, behind a horde of Zhixin's slaves. He grabbed Jade around the waist and hefted her up. "Jade," he cried, "toss Uncle that shoe!" With that, he tossed Jade across the room.

Jade didn't hesitate to retrieve the lost footwear, but shrugged before tossing it to her elder. The shoe landed at Uncle's feet, and Jackie moved to defend the old man as the thralls moved in.

"What is Uncle supposed to do with this?" Uncle demanded as he bent down to retrieve the sandal.

"The strap!" Jackie told him. "It's made of leather!"

"Ha!" Zhixin laughed. "You must truly be desperate, thinking such a meager thing would serve as a proper catalyst. You might as well surrender now!"

"Maybe...but Uncle would rather go down fighting!" Uncle shot back, pulling the chi-o-matic from his back and aiming it at Zhixin with one hand. With the other, he deftly pulled a vial from his vest pocket and handed both it and the sandal to Jackie. "Pour potion over strap!"

Jackie nodded and pulled the vial's cork with his teeth, drenching the shoe in an olive oil-heavy potion.

Zhixin growled and raised all four arms to blast, but Jade and Mohajah tackled him from both sides, each restraining one set. They only managed to hang on for a moment before Zhixin spread his already charged tail feathers, but that was time enough for Uncle to take the sandal back.

With a smirk, the old chi wizard held his chi-o-matic high and began to chant. "Theía Dýnami, Afíste Grígora! Theía Dýnami, Afíste Grígora!"

The device lit up and spun, firing a beam of light directly into Zhixin's chest. The monk was held in place as blue-green energy drained out of him and into the chi-o-matic's containment jar. Caught off guard, Zhixin screamed and collapsed on the tiled floor as the trappings of Hera's power began to dissipate, flowing into the stream of energy coming from Uncle's device.

"No, not yet! Not when I finally had the respect I deserve!" he begged as the last wisps of Hera's essence flowed out of him, leaving him mortal once more. The beam then split into innumerable threads of light, each one arcing into a citizen of Agra or snake-bee and absorbing what looked like a small peacock feather embedded in each one. As soon as it did, the afflicted victim returned to a normal human (or snake) before collapsing to the ground, completely unconscious. Scruffy howled as he shrunk down and curled up on the floor.

Zhixin's own glorious robes had since faded to their regular burgundy color, the magnificent peacock tail and ferronnière disappearing into motes of blue light. The only magic left to the old monk were the golden bands on his wrists and the painted inscriptions on all four of his palms.

"Give back the bands, Mr. Ancient Wisdom," Jade snarled, getting back to her feet as the group advanced on the monk, driving him into a corner. "You're surrounded."

"Ancient wisdom," Zhixin wheezed, two of his hands reaching behind him. "There is always a way out."

With that, he seized the rubbery gift from Eris from his pocket and gave it a good squeeze. The sound of a monstrous fart ripped through the palace, and Zhixin was engulfed in a giant lotus. When the flower vanished, the monk was gone.

"Shoulda seen that coming," Jade muttered, her expression deadpan.

"Even so, it is a victory for us," Mohajah said, clapping her on the back. "The Bands of Shiva may be in the hands of evil, but the power of Hera is not. And more importantly, neither is the population of India. We owe you Chans yet another great debt for your assistance."

"Though perhaps we might have a little more ridding the palace of these kraits?" Jitendra asked, holding up a handful of snakes. "Best we harvest them while they sleep."

Looking over the packed palace, filled with unconscious snakes and citizens, Manish sighed. "It's days like these I wonder if I should have stayed a chauffeur," he groaned, putting a hand over his eyes.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Meanwhile, back at the abandoned jeans factory, Vanessa and Kasahara were idly flicking through channels on the tv, while Eris was enjoying her new mechanical bull. Just then, a lotus emerged from the ground, the petals falling away to reveal an aggrieved Zhixin.

"Pathetic, useless, worthless!" he muttered, slamming the palm of his hand against his head. "How could I let them get the best of me like that?!"

"They're Chans. It happens," Vanessa sighed, getting up from her chair. "And it looks like you got something out of the deal anyway. Better than I did, at least."

"I don't need your false pity!" the old monk snapped.

"Are those the Bands of Shiva?" Kasahara asked, greedily looking over Zhixin's new armbands. "I could get a very handsome price for those."

"Hands off!" Zhixin shouted. "I stole them! They're mine!"

"He's right," Vanessa added. "Relic hunter's code."

"You have a code?" Kasahara asked, shocked.

"Whenever it suits us," Vanessa replied, before turning back to Zhixin. "But that's not important right now. You failed, and I'm sure it was humiliating. Let's just have a good laugh about it, and then move on and try again."

"She's right!" Eris chimed in, teleporting over to the group. "Like I said, getting the powers is all well and good, but causing chaos? That's what's most important!"

"Really?" Kasahara questioned. "And why's that, aside from personal proclivities?"

At that, Eris gave a devious grin. "It's more than proclivi...whatever that word you just said was. I'm the goddess of chaos, remember? More chaos equals more power. And with what went down this past week?" she chuckled, igniting her hand with a blaze of blue flame. "I think I've got enough juice to start teaching you three some real magic."

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"And so, because no person or government can truly control what goes on within the minds of its populace, any totalitarian regime is ultimately only temporary, sure to suffer a devastating fall sooner or later. It's never a question of if, only how long."

Jade looked up from her paper as Jackie, Uncle, the ex-Enforcers, and Tohru gave enthusiastic applause. Hestia gave a big smile, and Prometheus rolled his eyes, but gave a half-grin of his own.

"I think you have an A-plus paper, Jade," Tohru complemented as she took a bow.

"Chills, kid," Finn agreed.

"Thanks," Jade told them. "I guess meeting a real would-be dictator gave me some inspiration. Really goes to show that sometimes, defying authority is exactly the right thing to do."

"That's why I stole fire for humanity," Prometheus said with a nod.

"And that's why I let him," Hestia agreed.

"Good work, Jade," Jackie said as he gave his niece a hug. "And thank you for helping to save me." However, he then bent down to look her in the eye. "But you do realize you're still grounded, right?"

"No I'm not."

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

PA2: And that's a wrap! On a classic laugh line, no less!

MP: Always leave 'em laughing. But before we go, we have a couple of things to say.

PA2: The first is a shout-out to our friend Green Phantom Queen, who continues to contribute to this story even in the middle of online schooling. We appreciate her efforts and applaud her commitment to her craft, especially considering our second item on the docket…

MP: Olympian Journey now has its own TvTropes page! We're getting bigger, no denying it!

PA2: As long as we're also getting better, I have no complaints. With that in mind, anyone can feel free to edit our tropes page, to make it better as well. Just no trolling, 'kay? Not like you would, but better said than unsaid.

MP: Now who's being wordy? Check it out when you're done here! But take the time to fave, follow, and review!

PA2: Also, if you're into Miraculous Ladybug, feel free to check out our other collaborations, which can be found on MP's author page! And now then, will you do the honors of previewing the next chapter?

MP: Certainly! Next time on Olympian Journey: An uncomfortable visit. A shocking reveal. A big explosion. And noodles. All this and more in "Kyoto My Heart"!

PA2: We hope to see you there! Ta-ta!