"Gaius! I can't just let Grehir roam around. They don't know he's after the crown. I have to protect Arthur, you know that." Merlin says.

"I know, my boy. Just be careful. I have to go to the lower town. But at some point I need you to clean out that leech tank." Gaius replies.

Merlin groans. For Merlin, cleaning out the leech tank for Gaius was the equivalent of mucking out the stables for Arthur. Do either one of them realize that he's essentially working two jobs at once?

Gaius leaves.

"Maybe I should cut myself into pieces. A Merlin for Gaius, a Merlin for Arthur, and a Merlin for…I don't know…" Merlin mutters quietly.

Looking around out of paranoia he raises his hands up and starts muttering words in the old religion.

"Hopefully these wards will last long enough to protect Arthur. Now I need to figure out how to get Grehir out of here." Merlin murmurs to himself. Merlin finds talking to himself is the best way to organize his thoughts.

Suddenly a noise comes out of the closet.

Merlin freezes.

"H-hello…?" Merlin says nervously.

There's silence.

"Just imagining things Merlin. Stress is not good for you." Merlin mutters to himself again.

He sets about fixing the bedsheets and eventually brings out the bath. He looks out the window to see if Arthur had come back yet.

"Hm, he was supposed to be back by now…" Merlin frowns.

Merlin fills the bath up with water and heats it so that there's some steam coming out. He smiles at this. Arthur will enjoy this.

He begins to fall asleep but knows that Arthur would only give him more chores. He goes to sit on the lounge chair. He bites his lips. He only does this rarely but he can't help himself. Lately, Arthur had been so nice to him that he was getting suspicious. There had been this one beautiful moment when they were alone hunting but didn't really do too much hunting because Arthur knew how much Merlin hated it. They sat in the meadow and just drank in the sun as they lay there. Arthur had closed his eyes and let his face soak up the rays. Merlin had watched him because he had never seen something so beautiful. The glow around Arthur was wonderful. He dared not breathe in fear of breaking that moment. Merlin's eyes were closed and without even realizing it his hands had gone inside his breeches. He knew it was wrong. Very wrong. These were Arthur's chambers, not his. And he had no right to be imagining the king and him. If Arthur knew he would make fun of him and then kill him. But he couldn't help himself. He was on the brink of climax when he heard a thump form the closet. He almost jumped out of his skin. It was like cold water had sprayed him. He stopped and drew his hand out. He was tempted to just finish, he was so close, but he was afraid now.

"There better not be a rat in there. Arthur would kill me…and I mean that quite literally…I'm pretty sure I should be dead for many things right now." Merlin mutters, the last part quite sadly, as he stomps over to the closet. He opens it and his jaw drops way lower than he knew possible. Another invisible bucket of cold ice on him.

He's not looking at a rat, he's looking at Arthur. Arthur, the king, in the closet. Arthur who has probably been in here since Gaius was. Arthur who saw things. Things that he should never have seen. Many things he shouldn't have seen. More than one thing for which he should kill Merlin.

Neither one of them move. Merlin feels like he can't move.

"A..Arth-thur…" Merlin finally stutters out. His voice laced with surprise, fear, embarrassment, and shame.

Arthur is just staring at him. As if he was as surprised to see Merlin, though he's pretty sure he saw everything.

"What…what are you doing in the closet?" Merlin says. He wants to slap himself for such a stupid question but too late now.

"I don't really think that question is the top priority right now." Arthur says. Merlin can't figure out the tone behind Arthur. It's so neutral. As if being in the closet was an everyday occurrence and watching your manservant perform magic in the land where it's outlawed and watching him get himself off in your chambers was normal. But he can tell there's more behind the neutrality. He can see Arthur fighting to not show anything.

"Um…" Merlin again feels he needs to fill the silent void.

Arthur moves forward to get out of the closet and Merlin flinches. He regrets it internally but it's instinct. He doesn't know how Arthur will react. His eyes also betray him and quickly look over to see that Arthur indeed is wearing his sword. Merlin takes a step backward.

At Merlin's look Arthur's jaw sets.

The silence is gnawing at Merlin.

They are now standing in front of each other about a yard apart.

"You're a sorcerer." Arthur says with a bite in his voice.

"Yes. I was born one." There's no sense in denying it, even Merlin knows that.

"Don't be stupid, no one is born a sorcerer. When did you start learning magic?"

"I was born one. It's rare, but it happens. The first time I did magic I was three months old." Merlin replies.

"It's not like I should even believe a word you say, sorcerer. You've been lying to me all this time, what is another lie right?" Arthur says bitterly.

"Arthur, please. I have lied to you, yes. I do not deny it. But I had to! If I was to protect you I had to be alive for that."

"I don't need protection." Arthur says automatically and the statement doesn't really surprise Merlin.

Merlin doesn't reply.

"You should have told me." Arthur says.

"I wanted to. Oh I wanted to so badly. But…I couldn't…I am not afraid of my own death. If I must die on the pyre, I shall. If I must die by the axe or your sword, I shall. I will get on my knees and do so. But I couldn't let you stay unprotected. You are the best warrior there has been and you can protect yourself. But there are sorcerers out there who…who want to destroy you. And I couldn't let that happen. But in order for me to keep you safe and alive and breathing I had to be alive and breathing for that! So I couldn't tell you!" Merlin begs.

Arthur's face shows realization at what Merlin is saying.

"You thought…you thought I would have…let you die…?" Arthur says quietly with all the hurt in the world. And Merlin can't bare it. But he can't lie. He didn't know whether he would or not.

"I…I don't know…" Merlin says and drops his head.

"After all the times I have drunk poison for you and saved you, you thought I would let this happen to you? How dare you!" Arthur exclaims. The hurt still apparent but a bit of anger seeping in.

"I knew you would drink poison for me again and again. I never doubted that. But sorcery. It is against the law and you see it as the evil of all evils. I had my doubts. I had to Arthur. I wanted to fully believe that even when you found out you wouldn't kill me but…" Merlin tries to get Arthur to see his side.

"You didn't trust me." Arthur says plainly his neutral mask back on.

"I…" Merlin has always trusted Arthur. But he realized now that he couldn't fully trust Arthur on this one.

"I trusted you to the fullest Merlin. I never doubted you. I would have followed you into danger.

But you didn't trust me…" Arthur repeats.

"Interesting how I never got the feeling of your trust." Merlin mutters with a bite. He knew he should really hold his tongue, as this was not helping his life-and-death situation, but he couldn't help it.

Arthur stares at him.

"Come on Arthur. I knew that to a degree there was some trust. But you always shoved me down, as if I was dirt. I know, I know, I am a manservant, that's what a manservant is. But even when I came and told you good ideas and such, you shoved those away, even if they ended up being true. And you never apologized. Not once. Not once. And I do not blame you. I am a servant. You are a king. But I just want you to understand that neither one of us truly trusted the other, fully and whole-heartedly." Merlin says.

Arthur looks like he's about to say something, maybe deny it but he closes his mouth and just continues to stare at him. This time with some shame.

"I always trusted you. Whole-heartedly. The times that I pushed your advice out of the way was either because I couldn't show the council or others that I was taking advice from a manservant or because I didn't want your advice to be true…because it was too painful. But I always, always, trusted you." Arthur says gently.

"…Oh…I—" Merlin's eyes widen at how he had misread Arthur.

"But I can understand that I didn't really show any awe-inspiring reason for you to trust me, at least with a secret such as your magic…" Arthur admits.

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I never wanted to hurt you. If there had been a way to avoid that I would have gone to the ends of the earth to figure out a way but…I'm sorry. I only ever used my magic to help you, to keep you and Camelot safe. Nothing else."

"So, you being lazy and making a bath right here with magic is helping Camelot how exactly?" Arthur smirks.

"Pff, why do you think all your baths are always the perfect temperature when you get back? A happy king equals a happy kingdom." Merlin says with a hint of a smile.

But they both sober up.

Arthur begins to unsheathe his sword and Merlin winces.

"Really? Even after this conversation you don't trust me?" Arthur says, hurt again.

"I…it's reflex, alright? When you are in a bad mood, I never know what to expect…" Merlin says and berates himself for saying that, they were on a good path here, he didn't want to mess it up.

"Am I really that bad?" Arthur frowns.

"…sometimes…" Merlin bites the inside of his cheek and doesn't look up at Arthur.

"And who said I'm in a bad mood?" Arthur asks.

"Well seeing as I just told you I'm a sorcerer I figured…"

"I just need to process it, but I am not going to kill you. Just give me time okay?" Arthur asks.

"I can do that." Merlin says.

"The question 'What are you doing in the closet' however is still not at the top of the questions." Arthur says with a neutral tone.

Merlin is pretty sure his face is redder than a tomato. With the whole sorcerer ordeal he forgot for a moment about the other thing that happened. No wonder he was so frustrated throughout this conversation.

"Um…I can explain…I…um…it was an accident?" Merlin says but doesn't dare look Arthur in the eyes.

"You accidentally managed to put your hand down your breeches." Arthur says, doubting.

"…Yes?…ugh…I just…look, it won't happen again, okay? I'm sorry. Maybe we can both pretend it never happened?" Merlin asks, hoping against hope.

"Hm…the thing is, I don't want to pretend like it never happened." Arthur says. Merlin looks up and sees a predatory look in Arthur. Uh-oh. He won't die for being a sorcerer but he will for having indecent thoughts of the king? It must be Merlin's luck.

"Fine, we don't have to pretend like it never happened. I might. But just don't put me in the stocks or the dungeons…please…Though if it has to be either one of those I'd prefer the stocks, less lonely that way." Merlin says.

"Oh I wouldn't do that." Arthur says, still with that predatory look as he takes a small step closer to Merlin.

Merlin's eyes widen as he feels like he's being hunted.

"It was actually pretty entertaining." Arthur says.

"What?" Merlin squeaks. The thought that Arthur was watching him do that makes his face red again and his cock harden even more. He clears his throat.

"I think I thought of a punishment. Though I don't really think it's punishment." Arthur says with a smile.

Merlin suppresses a groan at what the punishment may be.

"I want you to do it again." Arthur says.

"Wait…what?…I feel like I'm missing something here…" Merlin says.

"Nope, not missing anything."

"You want me to do, ehm, that again…in front of you…" Merlin is sure that either he or Arthur has gone crazy.

"Yes. And seeing as you are already on the line here, you will do it." Arthur says with a smile.

"And you're going to…watch?" Merlin utters weakly.

"Because I like to watch you squirm."

"I guess it's better than the pyre…" Merlin tries to pretend like none of this is affecting him in any way.

"Don't you dare mention yourself and the pyre in the same sentence." Arthur exclaims.

"Alright, alright." Merlin raises his hands placatingly.

He nervously shuffles over to the lounging chair. Sitting down he takes a breath and closes his eyes. Slowly gliding his hand in he starts where he left off. He tries to pretend Arthur isn't there and goes back to the meadow.

He's so close and he can feel his magic buzzing within him. He wouldn't be surprised if he was doing magic on the outside but he can't make himself open his eyes.

He stops keeping track of time and then suddenly there are lips on his. His eyes open and he sees Arthur leaning down on him.

"I've wanted to do this for so long Merlin." Arthur mumbles against his lips.

"You…you have?" Merlin says, sure that he misheard and is just in his imagination right now.

"You have quite a lot of confidence in you thinking that I'm imagining you." Merlin says.

"Nope. I just have eyes." Arthur says as he points to the magically created meadow behind them and a shadow of Merlin and Arthur.

"Oh." Merlin says.

Arthur smiles and they continue kissing. Then Arthur's hand slides down and Merlin's voice hitches.

EPILOGUE:

Merlin's whistling to himself as he's cleaning the table up and in the corner of his eye he can see Arthur watching him, also smiling.

"You know, you never did tell me why you were in that closet..." Merlin asks.

"I suppose it might be a priority question now." Arthur smiles.

"So?"

"It isn't actually that interesting, embarrassing if anything. I was looking for that red shirt in the closet but I had no idea where you put it and then suddenly the doors closed behind me and I couldn't open them again. Just then you walked in. I was about to bang on the door when I heard you say stuff about magic so..."

Merlin laughs.

"Did you find the shirt?" Merlin asks.

"No, I found something better." Arthur says in a husky tone and Merlin can't help but bite his bottom lip.