Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.

The Worst Advice

Chapter One

After the Fullbringer Arc…

Soul Society

Sitting at a table with several of the lieutenants of the Thirteen Court Guard Squads, Ichigo Kurosaki sipped his tea while chatting with them, happy at last.

Looking up from her tea, Ichigo's friend Rukia Kuchiki cocked her head. "So Ichigo, what brings you here to the Soul Society?" she asked. Beside her sat Renji, whom was busy drinking alcohol in a drinking contest with Ikkaku. "Are you having trouble in the World of the Living?" It'd thrown both her and Renji off when Ichigo showed up out of the blue and asked to speak with them.

Ichigo shook his head. "No, nothing like that. Everything's fine and back to normal now that I got my powers back." Sitting back in his chair, Ichigo looked down at his cup of tea while trying to piece his thoughts together.

"What's the matter? You don't look like you're happy," Renji pointed out.

Sighing, Ichigo took another swig of tea. "I just need some advice, that's all."

Rukia raised an eyebrow. She had a feeling about what got Ichigo so twisted into a knot. "Is it Orihime?" she asked.

"Yeah," Ichigo reluctantly nodded. "I…I know how she feels about me," he confessed, making the two lieutenants look at each other perplexed. They'd assumed that Ichigo was oblivious to Orihime's crush on him. Ichigo saw the look on their faces and gave his trademark scowl. "Rukia, Renji, I'm not an idiot!"

Renji threw up his hands in defense. "Sorry, Ichigo. It's just…we were kinda wondering, that's all. It was so obvious and yet you never brought it up."

"Renji's right. But that's water under the bridge. So what's the problem?" Rukia asked. "Do you…not feel the same way about her?" she asked. A part of her was afraid that Ichigo was going to reject Orihime's feelings and she knew that it would devastate the girl.

But thankfully Ichigo shook his head. "I…I want to tell Orihime how I feel about her but…I don't know how."

Renji merely cocked his head to the side. "What's stopping her from just telling her?" he pointed out.

"That's just it! Every time I try to get her alone, something comes along to ruin my chance!"

"I see…" Rukia pondered on what to do.

"Sounds like quite the dilemma."

The three friends turned to see Captain Unohana walk up to them, a friendly smile on her face.

"Oh, hello Captain Unohana," Rukia greeted. "What brings you here?"

"I came to fetch you and Lieutenant Abarai," the graceful woman explained. She nodded over to Isane, who was sitting at another table. "Captain Kurotsuchi has requested the presences of most of the captains and lieutenants."

"What's Mayuri want you guys for?" Ichigo asked puzzled.

"He claims to have finished an experiment and wants us all present to watch." She turned to Ichigo. "You may come as well, Ichigo. Perhaps afterwards I can give you some advice about your romantic predicament."

The trio looked at each other and shrugged. "Alright then. I'll come." The group, along with Ikkaku and Isane, headed for Mayuri's lab.

Sometime later…

Squad 12; Mayuri's Lab

"Good. You're all here," Mayuri noted as the group stood in front of him. In addition to Ichigo, Rukia and Renji, most of the captains and lieutenants were assembled in the large laboratory, minus the Head-Captain, Soi-Fon, Kensei and Rose, all of whom were too busy to show up to whatever it was that Mayuri had planned.

Everyone noted the huge orb in the middle of the room, a large white glow coming from its center. Kyoraku let out a whistle. "Wow, Captain Kurotsuchi, that's quite the impressive contraption. I'd no idea you were into fortunetelling."

Mayuri merely rolled his eyes. "Very funny…" he muttered before looking over at Nemu, who was busy manning a control console. "I'll have you know that I've made a breakthrough in the development of the zanpakuto, thank you very much!"

That got everyone's attention. Stepping forward, Captain Kuchiki looked at his fellow captain with skepticism. "What is this device, Captain Kurotsuchi? You would not have gathered us all here if you weren't convinced of its importance."

"More like convinced of his ego…" Shinji snickered, earning an angry glare from the scientist.

"Hmph!" went Mayuri. "As you all know, I have been studying the intricacies of the zanpakuto. To that end, I've constructed this device as an experiment to push the limits of a zanpakuto."

"How?"

"You are all aware that within each of us is an Inner World. Even a lowly Substitute like Ichigo Kurosaki has one."

"Bite me…" Ichigo scowled in annoyance.

"And through that Inner World, we have all developed a zanpakuto," Mayuri continued while ignoring Ichigo's jab. "However, each of us, in a manner of speaking, is isolated. Every Soul Reaper is disconnected from one another." He put a hand over the orb. "With this device, I seek to bridge the divide between two Soul Reapers."

"Captain Kurotsuchi," interjected Captain Komamura. "What exactly do you mean by bridging the divide?"

"With this device, I shall take two Soul Reapers and connect their inner worlds. If my hypothesis is correct, the bridging of the two souls shall not only allow them both to share strengths, but to merge their zanpakutos together!" he announced triumphantly.

"What?!" the whole group gasped, unable to believe their ears.

"So then," Mayuri's lips formed an evil smile. "Any volunteers?"

"You really expect us to let you hook us up to that thing?" Shinji told Mayuri. "I'll pass."

Mayuri scowled when everyone nodded in agreement. They all admitted that while the idea did seem exciting, volunteering to become one of Mayuri's lab rats was not a well-advised plan. Sighing, Mayuri shrugged. "Oh well. Plan B." He looked over at Nemu and nodded. His daughter nodded in return and hit a button. Everyone looked around in shock when the doors to the lab all slammed shut. "If nobody will volunteer, I suppose I'll simply have to do it the hard way."

Kenpachi merely sneered at Mayuri. "You really think a few doors are going to keep me from walking out of here?" he asked, reaching for his zanpakuto. "You know, I've always been waiting for an excuse to cut you."

Before the bloodbath could begin, Captain Unohana stood forward. "I will volunteer," she said, a calm look on her face.

Isane gasped in shock, the mere idea of Unohana submitting herself to one of Mayuri's experiments terrified her. "But…Captain!"

Mayuri cocked his head. "That's twice now you've volunteered for my experiments. I really do believe you've lost your mind, Captain Unohana."

The woman merely smiled gently as she walked over to the man. "Well if nobody steps forward, you won't let us leave. And we can't have Captain Zaraki kill you and deprive us of that brain of yours. And besides…" her eyes narrowed, just like they did on the desert sands of Hueco Mundo many months ago. "To have your experiment fail in front of so many people. You'd die of shame."

Mayuri's smile merely grew wider. "You really do know how to push my buttons."

"May I presume you will be the other person in this experiment?" Unohana inquired.

"I'm afraid not. I must stand by and observe the process." He turned to the group. "Anyone else?"

"I'll go."

Both Renji and Rukia both looked on in horror as Byakuya stepped forward. "But Captain!" Renji insisted.

"There are risks, Renji. This is true," the stoic man said as he walked over to the pair by the orb. "But Captain Kurotsuchi does bring up a point. Our enemies have taken advantage of us time and again due to our lack of unity. Perhaps this might amend that weakness. And if I were to share my inner world with someone, it should be with someone I respect."

Unohana couldn't help but blush. "Why, Captain Kuchiki. That is quite flattering."

"Yes, yes, we're all touched," Mayuri muttered, waving his hand dismissively. "Alright then. On to business." He tapped the orb with his knuckle. "Put your hands on the orb. Nemu and I will feed power into the device and we'll see what happens."

Everyone watched with bated breath as the two captains put their hands on the orb. Mayuri walked over to Nemu and touched a button on the console. As he pushed, power flowed through cables and into the bottom of the orb. The orb pulsed in response. Both of the captains gasped as they felt a hum of energy shoot through them. Byakuya's spirit energy began to flare a bright white, Unohana's green. The orb began to pull their energy into it, turning light green as the colors blended.

"Power normal. The process should be almost…" Mayuri's eyes suddenly widened as he saw something flash across the screen. "What?" He watched as the power input became alarmingly high. "Why is the power increasing?!"

As more energy was pumped into the orb, both Unohana and Byakuya started to cry out in pain, alarming everyone in the room.

"Shut it off!" Komamura shouted at Mayuri. "You're hurting them!"

Mayuri slammed the emergency stop button but it didn't stop. The orb was sucking the power out of the lab's power reserves on its own, its bright light growing brighter.

"Captain!" both Isane and Renji shouted when they saw the looks of pain on their captains' faces.

"BROTHER!" Rukia screamed. She turned to the other captains. "Help them!"

Not being need to be told twice, Kenpachi and Captain Hitsugaya leapt forward while the others captains rushed over to the cables. Kenpachi grabbed Unohana while Toshiro tugged on Byakuya's arm, both trying hardest to free the pair. However, no sooner did they touched the two did the orb ensnare them as well. Toshiro's white and Kenpachi's yellow was added to the orb.

"Captain!" both Rangiku and Ikkaku shouted.

"Kenny no!" yelled Yachiru.

Kensei and Komamura tried to pull out the cables but they remained attached to the synthesis orb. Kyoraku and Ukitake both attempted to sever the cables but whatever Mayuri used to create them was resistant to zanpakutos. "Shut it off, Mayuri!" Ukitake shouted.

"I can't!" Mayuri shrieked, realizing that his experiment was going into overload. He looked up and saw the four ensnared captains becoming worn out, the orb literally sucking them dry. "It's going to overload!"

Ichigo drew Zangetsu. He didn't know if this would help but he knew that if he didn't do something then Unohana, Kenpachi, Toshiro and Byakuya would die. "Move!" he told the captains as he held up his Zangetsu.

Mayuri saw what Ichigo was about to do. "Wait, you fool! Don't hit it with more spirit energy or-"

"Getsuga Tensho!" Ichigo shouted as he swung his arms, launching his signature attack. Everyone watched as it hit the orb. However, they were stunned as the orb sucked up Ichigo's energy. Lightning sparked across its surface, hitting maximum overload. The orb pulsed madly, its bright light blinding everyone. Sucking out the last of the spirit energy from its victims, the orb coalesced their collective energies, adding Ichigo's to the mix, and turned its attention to its attacker.

"Ichigo! Look out!" Rukia shouted as energy focused to the spot that was facing Ichigo. But in the blink of an eye a bolt of energy shot out of the orb and hit Ichigo square in the chest. Ichigo's eyes rolled back as a flood of images hit him, as if he was showed a film reel of the four captains' lives on fast forward. As the four captains slumped to the ground, the orb lost its light and powered down.

While the lieutenants rushed to their respective captains, Ukitake and Kyoraku rushed over to Ichigo, finding him as unconscious as the others. "Ichigo? Ichigo! Wake up!" Ukitake shook him but got no response.

Shinji wiped the sweat from his brow, looking over the mess Mayuri had made and asking what they were all thinking.

"What the fuck just happened?"

To be continued